


Worlds Apart

by SilverGlimmers



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Angst with a Happy Ending, BlackVibe starts halfway through and is secondary, Canon-Typical Violence, F/M, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-30
Updated: 2016-03-02
Packaged: 2018-04-12 03:19:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 32
Words: 161,838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4463468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverGlimmers/pseuds/SilverGlimmers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Barry closes the singularity he ends up in a whole new universe. Barry must deal with alternate versions of Iris, Oliver, Harrison and even himself if he wants to make it home. Back in Central City, Iris and the others try to hold the city together without him as they try to come to terms with the events of the season 1 finale.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One of these guys is just like the other...kinda.

**Author's Note:**

> *drags self in by fingertips* Must...write...screw...real...life.  
> Sorry it's been so long, life has been pounding me in a very rude fashion. The idea for this fic has been rolling around since a week or so after the finale, and I am sick of it being put off. Granted, I did write a story for the Flash Big Bang but that can't be released until October, so at least I got something done before now.  
> So here we go! Thanks for reading, hope you enjoy it. :)

 

 

 

 Barry didn’t think about the possible consequences of his actions as he approached the singularity. He’d learned by now that it was better not to. Worrying about what might happen to him only distracted from the job at hand and made the possibility of a mistake more likely.

 So he didn’t think about himself as he raced up a disintegrating building, dodging debris and jagged pieces of metal and glass that were peeling off the building like dust in a windstorm. He didn’t think about his mother or Eobard Thawne or the fact that he’d just chosen this reality over the possibility of another one.

 But he did think about Eddie. His instant, unthinking sacrifice. His loss and the life that he should have had but now never would. Barry thought of him more than anyone else. Eddie had saved them all. He couldn’t let Eddie’s sacrifice be in vain.

 He used debris as stepping-stones, climbing higher and higher to reach the singularity. The noise and wind increased with every one.

 He had barely said goodbye to Eddie. Just a nod full of subtext and meaning. He had ignored the chance to put it into words, if that was even possible. He knew why, but he regretted that now.

 And Eddie led to Iris and how she must be suffering. So he thought of them. He did it for them.

 Barry hit the accretion disc and found that it was far more solid than it looked. That was probably a bad thing in itself, but it meant he had a surface to run on. He started running around it counterclockwise. It only took a few minutes to realize that he was doing very little to disrupt the motion. Martin Stein’s words echoed in his head. Maybe it couldn’t be stopped.

 No. Maybe he just had to get deeper inside it.

 He used debris again to step his way higher. He refused to acknowledge how much darker it became the further in he got, and how the opening now seemed like a small window leading to his world below. He ignored the stab of fear he felt. He found a good running loop and hit it as fast as possible, then sped up as he made lap after lap. He’d done Mach 2 in the accelerator. He could do it here. The roaring sound of debris in motion became a kind of white noise that he used to focus even harder and run even faster. The whirling vortex howled around him.

 The energy being generated and the lightning he trailed built up as he continued to run, especially since he was increasing his speed with every lap. But he was starting to worry that it was a lost cause.

 Until he saw the sparks flash.

 They generated near him, but he wasn’t producing them. They started near his lighting trail and fanned outward, spreading to the edge of the singularity. The air crackled and snapped. Barry could feel the orbital motion around him start to break apart. He increased his speed, pushing as hard as he could in the opposing direction.

 The howling sound of the whirling vortex became louder, combining with the hum of electricity. Electricity bolts shot throughout the disc and to the ground far below. Barry kept running, zigging and zagging around the lightning. The whole disc felt like it might shatter any second. He ran faster.

 The roaring soon became an explosive blast. A shockwave blew through the center, a shattering force that disintegrated the disc from the inside and blew Barry off his feet. Blinding light swept through the space, illuminating Barry for a split second. He fell through the air, accompanied by debris that hadn’t been consumed by the singularity. Now released from their gravitational hold around the disc, they were all falling back toward the earth.

 Far below, the small group standing outside S.T.A.R. Labs watched with bated breath as the disc shattered and dropped its remains. In the flash of white light Barry’s falling form was seen for a moment before it was lost among the rest of the debris.

 Ronnie and Martin only needed one look of silent communication before they stepped toward each other and became one. The others moved back as Firestorm burst into flame and took to the sky. They dodged projectiles dropping down on them, headed for the area where the last of the disc was shredding apart. It was leaving nothing but blue sky in its wake.

  _“Do you see him?”_

  _“No.”_

 Both searched diligently, scanning wreckage as it flew past. They were alert for any bit of red, a human form. Higher and higher they climbed, until finally they were right against the last of the rapidly disappearing singularity. They turned a full circle in mid-air, looking in every direction high and low. White eyes looked to the group on the ground, hoping for some guidance. But the others stood frozen, eyes searching the sky and clearly not seeing him either.

 He was nowhere to be seen.

 Martin’s voice reached out to Ronnie in their head.

  _“He’s gone.”_

 

* * *

 

 

 Joe’s arm tightened painfully around Iris as he clutched her to his side, but she didn’t feel it.

 She couldn’t feel anything.

 Shards of torn and shattered metal fell to the ground. She welcomed the sound of them crashing into parked cars and pavement. It was the only thing that broke the silence.

 They were all still staring into the sky as Firestorm landed next to them. The two men separated, and Ronnie immediately went to Caitlin. He wrapped his arms around her. She reciprocated the motion. They held each other, both still scanning the area.

 Cisco was too. He was unable to stop searching. His hands were on either side of his head. He looked very like he had minutes ago as he looked at Eddie’s bleeding body. He was already tracking the ground, ready for a broken red one.  

 Martin had stopped looking. He swallowed hard as he met Joe’s eyes, which were already wet and full of pain. It increased tenfold. Joe wrapped both arms around his daughter and hid his face from the others, but they could see his shoulders shaking.

 

* * *

  

Less than half a block away, Captain Cold stood and watched the group of mourners. He recognized most of them now that he knew who the Flash really was. He shoved his goggles into his pocket and shifted his cold gun as he took in each person and their demeanor. It didn’t bode well. He too looked up and down, searching among the wreckage. Most of the people in the area had run screaming in the other direction; it was easy to realize that the Flash really wasn’t around.

 Too bad. He’d enjoyed their competition.

 Now he’d have to find someone else to help him up his game. He shook his head, turning to go share the news with Mick and his sister back at their place.

 He wondered at the lack of joy he felt, considering he’d have been delighted to see the scarlet speedster gone several months ago.

 In the end he chalked it up to disappointment that he hadn’t been the one to do it and ignored the odd feeling it gave him to remember a golden blur racing up a building toward certain destruction, just to save all the pitiful life down here.

 Cold took his goggles back out of his pocket and put them on. Chaos always brought crazies and the opportunity for a quick score.

 He strode down the middle of the empty street, no one around to oppose him.

 

* * *

 

 

 Henry Allen stood at his cell window, staring out at the stump that used to be a tall building. The one Barry had run up to take on what looked very like a black hole. Had he been capable of feeling anything but terror for his son, he would have been surprised to see a fireball rise up into the sky and descend again. But that didn’t really matter because the one thing he did want to see he couldn’t find anywhere.

 He couldn’t find a trace of Barry’s golden lightning.

 

* * *

 

 

 Barry fell through the air, gaining momentum. He spotted a few pieces of debris out of the corner of his eye as he spun. The wind battered and buffeted him. He tried hard not to panic. Firestorm would catch him.

  _Anytime now, guys._

He could see skyscrapers that hadn’t been affected by the singularity on the horizon and knew he was getting closer to the ground. A bit too close for his comfort.

  _Really, anytime._

  _Guys?_

About the time he caught a glimpse of shorter buildings fast approaching below he realized he was in serious trouble. He healed fast, but he was pretty sure he’d be dead on impact once he hit the asphalt. Where were they?

 Wherever they were, they weren’t going to catch him. He had just realized it and was bracing for a serious amount of pain (if he lived that long) when a vaguely familiar sound broke through his panic.

 A grappling arrow with cable attached shot past him, missing him by inches and sinking into the brick of the building nearest him. A split second later a body slammed into his, arm wrapped around his torso, and propelled it along the cable straight into the bricks. He hit them with a crunch and then slid down to the grimy ground of an alley, groaning. It was a good thing he only had about eight feet to slide down. He slouched against the wall, sitting on the pavement, and peered up at his savior.

 Oliver Queen was staring back at him.

 

* * *

 

 

 But…was it Oliver Queen? The man opposite him looked more like he should be Oliver’s older brother. His face was slightly more lined; he had a blond well-trimmed beard and mustache. Barry’s gaze flicked up and down, noting the different leather suit the man was sporting (the color was—lighter? Weird), the mask that looked almost but not quite like the one Barry himself had made him, and—what was that on his head? It looked like some variation of a Robin Hood style hat. There was no hood at all on this suit.

 “—what was that thing, and how did you even get up there?”

 Barry realized Oliver was in the middle of about a dozen questions, and that he’d missed the first half of them. His head was still reeling with recent events; Eddie’s loss, the Reverse Flash, the singularity, and yet the only thing that came out when he spoke was incredibly meaningless.

 “Did you change costumes again?”

 “What? Did you hit your head on the way down? This is the same one I’ve—wait…” Oliver abruptly stopped talking. In one fluid movement he had an arrow in his bow and the arrow aimed almost point-blank at Barry’s heart. His eyes behind his mask were suddenly flinty and cold. “Nice try. But your suit is too dark.”

 “Well yours is too light. What is that, moss green? It’s lighter than your first one, how do you expect to move around unseen?” Barry had automatically raised his hands in a gesture of surrender, but he didn’t really think he needed to worry about getting shot with an arrow again. This wasn’t training after all.

 His question, however, did nothing to help the situation. Oliver’s eyes were centered on Barry’s chest, fingers tight on his bowstring. “Your emblem is wrong. Looks like the Flash moves so fast that you can’t spot the small details, huh? Too bad.” His voice grew sharper and more precise in what Barry recognized as his authoritative Arrow interrogation voice. “Why are you impersonating the Flash?”

 “Impers—Oliver, it’s me. Barry.” Barry had started to put his hands down but suddenly had them right back up again as the other man made an aggressive move forwards. “Careful! Cisco will kill you if you poke another hole in my suit!”

 But Oliver hadn’t even heard the last part. His eyes bored into Barry’s. His voice went quieter. Much quieter. And more deadly. Barry suddenly felt a pang of fear in spite of himself. “How do you know the identity of the Flash?”

 “Umm, because I _am_ the Flash.” Barry was starting to get annoyed. “What. Is. With. You?” Barry moved to remove his hood and mask, but he did it slowly so he didn’t end up skewered. Oliver countered slightly to keep his arrow pointed at Barry’s chest but allowed it. As soon as Barry had revealed his face, before he could even fully lower his arm back into its raised surrender position, Oliver had the arrow in his bow lowered slightly in shock. His face was disbelieving. Barry took that as a good sign and moved to lower his hands the rest of the way, but Oliver recovered quickly and found his voice again.

 “Don’t. Move!” Barry gave him an exasperated look and complied. “You are not the Flash. I don’t know how you managed to duplicate him, but you are still an imposter.”

 That was it. Barry rolled his eyes, and in a blink had grabbed both the bow and arrow and moved five feet behind Oliver.

 “I’m not? You sure?” Barry waggled Oliver’s weapon at him, smirking slightly.

 Oliver stared at him, looking as unreadable as ever. Barry sighed. “Look, thanks for helping me out, I don’t know what happened to everyone else. But I need to go check on Iris and Joe, so if you don’t mind—“

 Oliver raised a finger to cut him off as his other hand dug in a pocket. “Wait one second.” Barry complied in an annoyed fashion, but was slightly curious as well. Oliver brought out a cell phone and hit a key to autodial a number. There was a pause, and then obviously someone answered on the other end. “It’s me. I need you to meet me. It’s important. Yes, you should change. Alley at the corner of Queen and First Street. Yes, now. Okay.”

 Oliver hung up, and while still obviously distrustful, looked Barry over again with a considering air. Barry was getting impatient. “I meant it when I said I had to go. Not to mention we’re standing in an alley in broad daylight. Maybe we should do this another time?”

 Oliver’s lips twitched in the barest of smiles as he looked at his watch. Before he’d even looked up again, a rush of wind and a whooshing sound announced the arrival of someone new. A strange but familiar voice greeted the two men as a blur of bright red came to a stop between them. “Okay, what’s so important that I had to leave my beautiful—whooaa.” He stopped and looked back and forth between the two men. “What’s going on?”

 Oliver gave Barry an _I told you so_ look. “Ask him.” He pointed at Barry.

 Barry stared. The other man was obviously a speedster. His suit was very similar to Barry’s, except that it was a brighter red. The emblem on his chest was still a gold lighting bolt, but with a white background. Just like the picture from the future newspaper article. Barry could tell just looking at him that the other man was his same height and build. He looked so like the older Barry who had waved him off, telling him not to save their mother.

 As Barry was staring, Oliver and the other man moved closer. The new arrival flicked Oliver a quick questioning glance. Oliver nodded slightly. The other speedster’s gaze noted the bow and arrow hanging forgotten in Barry’s hands as his own hand rose up.

 Barry knew what he was going to do. When the mask and hood came off, Barry audibly gasped.

 His own face was looking back at him. Or, almost his own face. This man looked like Barry, but like Barry should look in about five or six years. He had a few more lines and a slightly fuller look to his face. But the hair was the same, even as a hand rose to fluff it slightly now that it had been uncovered. The eyes were the same. Even the expression was the same, serious and concerned, slight crinkle between the eyebrows.

 They stared at each other. Oliver was looking on in fascination. Having decided this was no impostor, the older looking Barry finally spoke.

“Past or future? Past, right? Though I don’t ever remember wearing a suit that dark.”

 Barry was smart enough to realize what he was being asked. “What day is it?”

 “May 19, 2021.”

 That wasn’t the answer Barry had expected. He wasn’t quite sure what he’d expected, but not that. It was the same day he’d left, only six years in the future. But he hadn’t time traveled. His mouth opened in confusion before he answered. “Well, I would say past, except I didn’t time travel.”

 The other two exchanged glances, and it could not have been more obvious that they thought he was mistaken. Older Barry tried again. “Of course you did. There aren’t two of us usually. Sometimes we can run so fast we don’t even realize—“

 “No, I’ve been there and done that. This wasn’t it.” Barry’s voice was emphatic.

 The other two looked at him. He could practically feel his older self trying to exercise patience. Or maybe that was himself. “It has to be. Nothing else—“

 “—makes sense? None of this makes sense!” Barry was starting to get angry. His hands came up, and it was only then that he realized he was still holding Oliver’s bow and arrow. “I have time traveled before! I know what it’s like!” Images of his recent attempt to save his mother flashed to the front of his mind. “ _Believe me, I do!_ And I didn’t do it just now! _”_ He could feel his frustration starting to boil over. It was like neither one was listening to him.

 Oliver was contemplating him curiously, which was saying something considering he should be feeling naked without his bow right now. “Maybe it’s amnesia? Maybe you really did hit your head on the way down—“

 Barry gritted his teeth, bringing Oliver’s own arrow up to stab in his direction. “Look, Greenie. Maybe you should take off your dippy-ass Robin Hood hat and use it to clean your ears. I. Did. Not. Time. Travel!”

 His angry voice rang through the alley. Only slightly perturbed, Oliver looked at his friend. “Did he just insult my hat?”

 Older Barry looked supremely amused. “Yes, I think he just did.” He crossed his arms, assuming his cocky pose as he regarded Barry’s frustration. “Okay, I’ll bite. If you didn’t time travel, what did you do?”

 “If I knew, I’d be telling you! You know, I used to be pretty smart. Did our IQ drop in the last few years? The lighter the suit, the dimmer the brain?”

 Older Barry’s eyebrows shot up. He didn’t even bother to suppress his grin as he put his hands up. “Whoa. Ouch.” He laughed. Barry resisted the urge to hit himself with Oliver’s bow.

 “Barry.”

 “Yes?” Both men answered at once, turning their attention to Oliver, who backed up a step.

 “Okay, that is just…weird. I don’t know how I can talk to you guys if you both respond to the same name.”

 Older Barry looked at his younger counterpart. “He’s got a point. Maybe we should think up a nickname for you while you’re here.”

 Barry bristled. “Why do I get a new name?”

 The other shrugged. “I’m older.”

 Barry glowered. “Fine. You can call me—“ Barry hesitated, somehow feeling he was going to regret this. “—Bear.”

 He was right. He instantly regretted it as the other two men burst into laughter at the name. He glared at the alley floor, realizing this must be what being a younger sibling feels like. He was pretty grateful he was an only child at the moment.

 Older Barry and Oliver were leaning on each other, helpless, hooting with laughter. Older Barry was trying to make words, but it was a difficult feat. “Re—re—really? That is just—“ he lost it again, dissolving into guffaws.

 Oliver elbowed his friend. “Don’t laugh at yourself, man.” But he ruined the effect by laughing again himself.

 Older Barry gasped for air. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry! It’s just so…cuddly sounding! Who on earth calls you that?”

 “Iris.” Barry arched a brow.

 That shut up his other self. It was nice to know Iris was still an important part of his life one way or another. Enough to gain him some leverage at least.

 Oliver elbowed his friend again. “Does she call you that—“ but Older Barry was already moving away, blushing slightly.

 “Nevermind! Nevermind! It doesn’t matter.” Older Barry attempted to put on a more serious face. “Okay. Oliver, what were you going to say?”

 “Well,” Oliver picked up where he left off; almost instantly back to his usual seriousness. “He was falling when I caught him, and there was a huge whirling vortex in the sky for a moment before it disappeared.”

 The older man stared at Oliver and then suddenly turned his gaze to Barry. His face was starting to look very disturbed, starkly contrasting the hilarity moments before. “What were you doing before Oliver caught you?”

 Barry looked at him, feeling that he was missing something. “A singularity opened up above Central City. Didn’t you see it? It was eating everything. I ran into it so I could close it.”

 Older Barry’s eyes were intense. Barry could tell he was thinking rapidly. “And did you? Close it?”

 “Yes, but I had to get in pretty far before I broke it apart that’s why I was falling—“ Barry would have continued but at that moment his older counterpart put his hands over his face, running them down in the classic motion Barry himself did when he was truly upset. “What?” He could hear the higher pitch to his own voice in the single word.

 Older Barry was pacing a few steps, head down. He was mumbling to himself a moment as he thought, but Barry could still pick up words. “Darker suit…Bear…oh crap.”

 The Barry in the bright red suit raised his head and gave him a deeply sympathetic look.

 "Okay Barry, you were right. You didn’t time travel. At least not in this world. I think you came out the other side of the singularity. I think you are from an entirely different universe.”


	2. Two for One Deal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Speed talk, slow Oliver, and Iris.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking so long! I'll be a bit hit and miss until September, then I can get into my regular update schedule.  
> Thanks for the wonderful response to chapter one, you guys are the best! :D  
> Hope you enjoy this one, thanks for reading! This one is a bit slower, but I still had a lot of fun with it.

 

 

“A different universe?! Did you just pull that out of a completely different hole?” Barry was aware that his voice was raised and attempted to lower it slightly, but his next words emerged even louder, if anything. “You’re telling me you can just decide that I’m from a different universe because I didn’t time travel?”

 Older Barry looked like he’d already anticipated this argument. “I read a paper theorizing about possible alternative universes, and the separation between them. I don’t remember all the details, but I think this might be what we’re dealing with here.”

 Barry’s mind was already racing to the next issue, ready to tackle it before the other could even finish. “And what do you mean ‘came out the other side’? The singularity was eating, expanding and a black hole is supposed to be nothingness on the other side.”

 “Supposedly.”

 “Then are you telling me the other side of a black hole is just another universe? I don’t see even half of the stuff here that was eaten by that thing. I don’t see giant building pieces, cars, or Ed—anything else.” Barry’s speech was starting to catch up with his mind, every word tripping out faster and faster.

 Older Barry put up a finger, already nodding. He seemed to be thinking at the speed of light as well. “I think you’re right there, but you were deep inside the singularity. You already said that. Somewhere inside there you found an entryway into this universe.”

 “You said the other side!”

 “Does it matter? Either way you’re here! We are not from each other’s timelines, we are from two entirely different timelines.” Older Barry’s speech was speeding up as well.

 Barry was staring up at the sky. “Fine. Fine! I’m in a different universe. So how do I get back?” He waited for an answer, noting how the sun was setting here, and when he didn’t get one his gaze snapped back down to his counterpart.

 Older Barry’s gaze was there to meet his, but there was still reluctance in it. “Well, that’s the thing…I don’t know that you can.”

 Barry had been afraid of exactly that, but somehow hearing it from a slightly older version of himself made it so much more final. He backed away slightly, finally dropping Oliver’s bow and arrow so his hands could both run through his hair. “But…I can’t stay here. I need to get back to my world. _My_ life! Do you have any idea what I just sacrificed to keep _that_ life? Of course you don’t. People have died! The singularity caused massive destruction. Joe and Iris need me, now more than ever! Who will protect the city? There are metahumans and criminals running the streets! Ican’tstayhere!”

 By now Barry’s speech had sped up to a speed that made him sound incomprehensible to human ears. But the Barry opposite him understood every word. His hands rose to grip Barry’s shoulders. The older man shook him slightly, interrupting his frantic rambling and forcing him to look him in the eye.

 “Barry, I swear I will do whatever is in my power to get you back home to your world. I promise. We’ll go see the guy who wrote the theory I read. We’ll look at every possible solution.” Barry had stopped babbling now and, while still breathing rapidly, had at least calmed down enough to listen to what Older Barry was trying to tell him. Older Barry slowed and softened his speech. “I will do everything I can to get you home.”

 Barry stared at the other man. This man that looked like him. In many ways he was him. But now, looking at this hero in a bright red suit, seeing the determined look on his face, all Barry could see was someone he looked up to very much. Someone he wished he could be. He felt his shoulders relax slightly, lowering out of their raised position brought on by panic. Older Barry’s grip relaxed as well.

 “Okay. Thank you.”

 Older Barry nodded, flashing him a quick reassuring smile. He moved back a step. “Okay, well it’s too late to go see anyone tonight, and I was interrupted when Oliver called—“ Older Barry glanced around, just realizing that the last conversation had lacked a third participant. Barry noticed and looked over as well.

 Oliver was standing a few feet away from them, by all appearances frozen in place. His face was inscrutable.

 “Oliver? You okay?” Older Barry gave the blond man a quizzical look.

 Oliver just stared at them another second before he finally replied. “Just…trying to figure out who pushed the fast forward button. And, how to turn it off.”

 Barry and Barry looked at each other; both realized that their entire conversation had progressed to rapid speech only a speedster could perform or comprehend. The tension fractured as they took in Oliver’s befuddlement. Identical grins split identical faces.

 “Did you get any of that?” Older Barry’s voice was trembling with suppressed laughter.

 Oliver’s face looked like he was still trying to decipher the previous dialogue. It was almost like he was waiting for subtitles. His voice sounded excessively slow as he replied. “I got an ‘a’, then a ‘you’, and maybe an ‘ear’.”

 Both Barrys dissolved into laughter. “Sorry,” Barry managed.

 Oliver’s mouth twitched in what may have been a slight smile before he moved to pick up his bow and arrow. He replaced the arrow in his quiver and dusted off his bow before turning to the other two men. Barry could tell Oliver finally felt back in control of the situation, or as much as he could feel in such circumstances. Oliver gave him a considering glance.

 “If you’re from an alternate universe, is there an alternate me there, too?”

 Barry nodded. “Actually, yeah. We’re still friends, don’t worry.”

 Oliver accepted this fact with a nod. “Actually, I was wondering if he was my opposite. He’s probably all light and happy.” He turned to the older of the pair. “Sorry you get to deal with the grimmer version of me, Barry.”

 Barry’s jaw dropped in outrage. Older Barry’s eyes flicked his way, reading the look on his face before he met Oliver’s eyes with sober (if a bit insincere) forgiveness. “Our friendship makes it worth the effort, Oliver.” Barry could see the grin the other man was holding back.

 Barry snorted. “Yeah, nothing says light and happy like the Oliver in my universe.”

 Oliver’s brows were starting to draw together, and Barry could see the question forming on his lips when his older self moved in and masterfully distracted him.

 “Okay!” Older Barry clapped his gloved hands together. “I should head home. Barry, I’m assuming you need a place to sleep?” Barry nodded. “Oliver? You headed back to Starling?”

 Oliver shook his head. “Oh no, I need to see how this works out. I’ll stay at my safe house in Central for now. Call me when you’ve got something for me to do.”

 Older Barry nodded, clapping Oliver on the shoulder. “Thanks for saving myself.”

 “Yeah,” Barry put in “thanks for that.”

 “Anytime.” Oliver pulled out a grappling arrow and took aim. “I need to call Dinah anyway, she’s never going to believe this!” Oliver shot his arrow high into a building and lifted away.

 Both speedsters watched him go.

 “Wow, that is still cool in any universe.” Barry looked at his counterpart, who nodded. “And who the heck is Dinah?”

 

* * *

  

It only took a few seconds for both men to reach the correct house, Older Barry in the lead. Barry was amazed at how easy it was to follow his counterpart through town, considering the only speedster he’d ever run up against was the Reverse Flash. He easily kept pace with and tracked the other man right up to the third floor apartment of an older building just outside of downtown. They didn’t stop until they were through the door and standing in the front entryway of a modest and comfortable apartment.

 Older Barry turned to Barry immediately. “She’s in a bit of a…sensitive stage right now. _Do not_ say anything to upset her, or you get to sleep in the closet.” His finger poked Barry in the chest.

 “Why would I—“ Barry’s reply was interrupted by a familiar voice calling from what he guessed was the kitchen around the corner.

 “Barry, I needed you here to save me from myself. Sorry, the brownies are gone.”

 Older Barry gave Barry a look. “That’s okay, hon I’m not really hungry anymore.” He pulled off his hood and mask, and Barry did the same. They were still facing each other as Iris continued.

 “I’m getting text alerts about an anomaly in the sky a bit ago. Is that what Oliver called ab—“ Iris turned the corner and caught sight of both Barrys, standing together like mirror images of each other. The finger she was clearly licking the last brownie crumb off of left her lips and lowered slowly to the huge bulging stomach that had preceded her around the corner, palm pressing against the mound in a pseudo-protective gesture.

 Barry realized he was staring. Iris was so different. Her hair was shorter, shoulder length and framing her slightly fuller face. She was very obviously pregnant, far enough that she was beginning to waddle slightly as she moved closer. She headed straight for Barry, looking into his face.

 Older Barry spoke first. “Iris, um, this is…me. I guess. Bar—“ He hesitated just long enough for Barry to shoot him a threatening glare. “—ry,” he finished, a smirk of repressed laughter on his lips.

 She waved a dismissive hand his direction. “Oh please, like I haven’t seen weird before. When isn’t our life weird?” She moved up to Barry, the two of them separated only by her pregnant belly as she studied his face carefully. She looked into his eyes. “Past or future?” Barry stayed silent a moment too long. Her brows drew together in a look of concern and sympathy. “Oh. Future, huh?”

 “Well, actually, he’s younger, but he’s me from a whole other universe. We think.” Older Barry stepped closer, putting a hand on her back and shifting to stand next to her.

 “Really? Oh that’s interesting!” Iris’ eyes lit up with excitement. She shifted closer to Older Barry unconsciously, her own hand moving around his waist.

 “Yeah. Barry, this gorgeous woman is my wife, Iris.” Older Barry wrapped his hands around her from behind, hands across her belly, smile huge across his face. “But I think you know some version of her already.”

 Iris gave Barry a warm smile. “Welcome, Barry-from-another-universe. This is a first for us.”

 Barry laughed slightly. “Me too. Nice to meet you Ir—Mrs. Allen.”

 Her laughter pealed out. “Mrs. Allen is your mother. It’s West-Allen. But please, call me Iris. We’re practically family.”

Barry smiled. “Thank you—Iris.”

 

* * *

  

Iris offered the spare bedroom for Barry to sleep in, but since it was rapidly turning into a nursery Barry declined, offering instead to sleep on the couch. Iris sent her husband in search of linens and some spare clothing, and then escorted Barry into the kitchen, insisting he eat some dinner. Barry decided not to comment on the fact that there was leftover dinner but not brownies.

 She sat across the table from him as he self-consciously ate a few bites. Finally he couldn’t handle the silence anymore. “So…when’s the baby due?” He took another bite and looked at her expectantly.

 She beamed at him, sitting back in her chair to run her hands over her belly again. “Babies, actually. Twins! I’m just over six months along, but I’m sure I look ready to pop any day now.” She rolled her eyes and gave a small laugh, but he knew her well enough even in this universe to see that she was feeling self-conscious about her size. His counterpart’s remarks came back to him.

 “Really? Twins? I never would’ve guessed. You look—beautiful.” It wasn’t even a lie, he realized. She did look beautiful. The other Barry, passing by in the hallway behind his wife, glanced in and gave him an approving glance. Barry could tell he felt the same.

 Iris smiled at him, shaking her head. “You sound just like my husband.” Barry blushed slightly, digging his fork back into his food for a moment. When he looked up, he realized Iris was staring at him. Mouth full, he could only raise his eyebrows as he chewed.

 Iris gazed at him thoughtfully as she replied. “You’re a lot like my Barry. But you’re not my Barry.” He met her eyes in surprise, swallowing his last bite. “You’ve had tragedy in your past, haven’t you?”

Barry blinked. “Umm…yes. How am I different?”

 “You’re a bit more serious, a bit less secure. More unsure of yourself.” Her voice was gentle but direct. He couldn’t think of any way to reply to that, so he just didn’t. “You’re still Barry Allen, but I can see it in your eyes. You’ve suffered more.”

 “That’s why you thought I was from the future,” Barry realized.

 She nodded. “Your eyes look older than my husband’s. Not that he hasn’t had hardship, but you’re…different.”

 Barry chewed on the question he was about to ask, wondering if discussing alternate universes was the same as discussing time travel. “Are…Barry’s parents still alive?”

 Her eyebrows shot up. She opened her mouth to answer, but at that moment her husband leaned into the room from the hallway. “Better not. Just in case. We don’t want to blow anything up or change something.” He looked at Barry across the room, measuring his reaction. Barry couldn’t deny his slight disappointment, but at the same time realized that maybe he didn’t want to know. He nodded.

 Iris sighed. “Fine.” She gave Barry a conspiratorial glance across the table. “Mr. Gloom and Doom.” Barry laughed. He couldn’t remember why he’d thought she was different. Iris was exactly the same.

 

* * *

  

Barry Allen finished brushing his teeth for the night and watched his wife perform her nightly ritual of bed preparation. Two pillows for her head, one to help her sleep on her side, one at her back if needed. All placed within easy reach for the night. He smiled to himself, watching her. Sometimes it was like watching a mother bird prepare her nest.

 As he made his way to his (much smaller, for the time being) side of the bed, Iris turned his way.

 “So that anomaly was the singularity, and it was closed.” Iris looked to make sure their bedroom door was closed. Even so, her voice lowered slightly. “So how is he supposed to get back home?”

 His face was grim as he replied. “I don’t even know. We need to work on it tomorrow, visit someone, find some answers.” He shook his head slightly, looking helpless. “I don’t know what to do for him if he can’t get back. I’d be devastated.”

 Her hand reached for his. “Me too. But you’ll figure it out. I’ll do whatever I can to help. We’ll get him home. His family needs him, just like we need you.”

 Her husband squeezed her hand, nodding. “I’ll do my best.”

“Then that’s all we need.” She smiled as she kissed his cheek. He smiled too, until she jumped.

 “Oh! Somebody kicked!”

 He was immediately at her belly. “Where?”

 She took his hand and placed it just off to one side. “There. Actually, I think one kicked the other.”

 He laughed in reply. “I guess they better get used to that.” He left his hand on her belly, feeling the movement within as he met her eyes. “I love you, Iris.”

 She laughed as well. “You’re just saying that because I’m giving you a two-for-one-deal. But I love you too.”

 

* * *

 

 

 Barry lay in the darkness of the living room. He could hear murmuring and laughter coming from the closed door of the master bedroom. He felt light years away from the last events in his world, but at the same time they were all around him. He hadn’t had time to deal with any of it before everything had changed.

 He clutched his blankets to his chest. He wondered if Iris was okay, if she was crying tonight and missing her boyfriend. He wondered how Joe was doing. This was the second partner he’d lost in just over a year. He wondered how many had died before he’d closed the singularity and how the police force was handling such a catastrophe, not to mention Eddie's loss. Were Ronnie and Caitlin okay? Was Cisco? Was Martin Stein still there? Was the city protected, or had his absence been noticed? He tried not to think of all the recently escaped metahumans loose in the city, and what they might do if they knew he was gone. Most of all, he just wanted to be there for Iris. He wanted to be her shoulder to cry on. He hated to think of her dealing with all this alone.

 He closed his eyes and tried to sleep, but instead the last 24 hours replayed in his head. Eobard, his mother, yet another version of himself, Eddie, the singularity. The only consolation he had was that Eobard Thawne was gone, and couldn’t threaten the people he cared about anymore…

 Barry woke suddenly, Eobard’s last words echoing in his head. He repositioned on his makeshift bed and realized he was sore. He’d been pushing himself a lot lately. He pulled his blankets back up from where they’d fallen on the floor and tried to force himself back to sleep. He finally managed it, but only by repeating one thought in his head over and over.

 He had to get back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you can see, next chapter will be back in Central City! :D  
> For anyone who doesn't know, (but I'm sure most of you do!) Dinah is Dinah Laurel Lance aka the Black Canary, and she and Oliver are an item in the comics. :)


	3. Loss of a Hero

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back in Central City, Iris, Joe and the others deal with the loss of Eddie and Barry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YASSSS the summer of insanity is officially over! I'll be much more regular with my updates from now on! :D  
> Thanks for all your awesome comments and support! You guys are fabulous! As always thanks for reading!  
> Also, this is just sheer unadulterated angst. I apologize in advance, but it has to be done. There is no way our characters would just shrug this off. Not gonna happen. But it won't stay this way forever, I promise. :)

## Central City

##  _**Flash Missing in Crisis.** _

_**By Iris West** _

__

_After a singularity (also known as a black hole) appeared in the sky above Central City, our very own scarlet speedster was seen racing up a building as it was torn apart. Cars, buildings, and other objects were sucked into the raging vortex. The Flash was seen running around and into it as he attempted to close it with his super speed._

_It appears that he succeeded. However, after the black hole was closed no trace of Central City’s hero could be found. Several others died in the crisis, including Central City Police Department’s own Detective Eddie Thawne who died saving lives. Large amounts of property damage were also inflicted…_

 

 

 Iris pushed back from her desk at CCPN, blinking to clear her vision. Her eyes were too full of tears to see the screen of her computer anymore. She’d already proofed the article once and was just going to go over it one more time. But she couldn’t make it through. She was glad it was after hours and she was alone. The dark shadows of the office suited her current state.

 The numbness had faded the very night Eddie had died and Barry disappeared, only to be replaced by such pain that she would have gladly taken the numbness back. She hadn’t been brave enough to go back to her apartment. Joe had gone to fetch some clothing and necessary items, but after she’d seen the look on his face when he’d returned she had refused any more offers he made to go for her. She was sleeping in her old room, but that just seemed to be trading one painful place for another. Her apartment reminded her of Eddie, but her father’s house reminded her of Barry. Trying to sleep in her old bed without Barry down the hall was just as terrible as sleeping at her home without Eddie next to her. She ended up on the couch, weeping silently so her father didn’t come down. He was already hovering nervously, but she just didn’t want to be around anyone right now, much less talk.

 She had offered to go back to work, in spite of her boss’ concern that her boyfriend had died a scant two days ago. She hadn’t mentioned that she needed to get out of her father’s house just as much. After debate about whether publicizing the Flash’s disappearance might encourage metahumans and criminal activity, it was decided that since most of downtown Central City saw him run up to the singularity and not return it was a moot point anyway. Iris was the designated Flash reporter, so she got the honor of writing it. She couldn’t decide if it was worse to write about those events or better that she do it to make sure it was done right. Right now she was thinking the former.

 She saved her article one more time and sent it in. If there were any more typos her boss would catch them. She’d done all she could do.

 She wiped her eyes with the dwindling supply of tissues on her desk. Her gaze fell to the object lying next to her computer. She picked it up, running her fingers over the surface and edges. It felt small and jagged, like her. It fit neatly onto her outstretched hand. Twisted and bent on one end, she could see the pressure and stress that it had endured until it finally broke away from its source.

 It was a piece of wreckage from the destruction the singularity had wrought. When Barry had closed it, as they looked for him and found no trace, as shards of buildings and cars had crashed to the ground, this piece of metal had broken off and spun in her direction. Its movement had caught her eye. She’d just stared at it, held tightly by her father and still not feeling anything. Somehow it had caught all her attention, or maybe it was a useful distraction from what she didn’t want to give attention to. When Joe had finally let go of her to call Captain Singh and see if he was needed in the aftermath, she had walked over and picked it up.

 It was probably from swirling around the vortex and then dropping to the ground, but the piece felt warm in her hand. Almost hot. For some reason, that feeling alone had broken through her numbness. She had clenched her hand around it, feeling it sear slightly into her palm and fingers as she gripped it. It felt like they had bonded together. After that, she hadn’t been able to dispose of it. Maybe she was cracking after dealing with so much, but she felt a kinship with this piece of metal somehow. She’d held onto it through the day, stared at it that night, and now it was always near tucked into her purse or a pocket.

 She ran her fingers over the smoother parts, studying the dark discoloration on one side, and tried not to think about Eddie’s funeral fast approaching.

 Or the other person who wouldn’t be there.

 When her vision blurred again, she pressed the jagged edge hard into her palm.

 

* * *

 

Joe hunched over his desk and stared at his blank notepad. Anything was better than seeing the empty desk across from him. He should probably be at home dealing with recent events, but he didn’t see the point. Iris wasn’t there; she had thrown herself into work. Like father like daughter.

 On a normal day he’d already be out working cases with his partner or upstairs hanging out in Barry’s lab, but he hadn’t seen a normal day since the singularity. The entire city seemed to be in shock. Everything was quieter, and while he didn’t really expect it to last, crime had taken a huge dive since then. The majority of the beat cops were helping with traffic and other aspects of clearing out the damage done in downtown Central City. He’d offered to help as well but had been told to pull desk duty instead.

 Besides, he didn’t have a replacement partner yet.

 “Joe?”

 Joe looked up to see Captain Singh standing in the doorway to his office, motioning him over. He pushed away from his desk and headed there, expecting a quick discussion in the doorway.

 But once he reached Captain Singh, the man stood back further to let him enter the office. As Joe moved inside he closed the door. Joe watched, feeling slightly concerned.

 Captain Singh waved at the chair opposite his desk. “Sit down.” Joe sat as the captain moved to the front of his desk. He didn’t sit down, instead he leaned back on his desk, crossing his arms and looking down at Joe intently. Joe met his gaze but could feel his guard go up slightly despite the other man’s attempt to put him at ease with his posture and expression.

 “So, Allen is on personal leave until when?”

 “I’m not sure.” Joe didn’t blink. “He thinks he found a lead on his mother’s case. He’s out of town chasing it down, but I haven’t heard from him yet.”

 “When did he leave?”

 “The night before that big disaster. Kind of glad he wasn’t around for that, actually.” Joe forced a small laugh. It sounded unconvincing even to his ears.

 “Mmhmm.” Captain Singh’s features sharpened ever so slightly. Joe schooled his own carefully. He had no intention of telling his boss that he’d hacked into Barry’s employee account in order to fill out a request for immediate personal leave. It had been easy in the end; Barry’s password was the date of his mother’s murder and her name.

 David was silent a moment, as if weighing his next words carefully. Joe waited, forcing his body not to twitch or fidget. When the other man finally spoke, it was less as a boss and more as a friend. “Joe, I know this has been a hard time for you. For all of us, really. But I’ve noticed something and I need to know what you think about it.” He picked up a copy of that day’s paper with the article written by Iris on the front page, waving it slightly. “Because it hasn’t escaped my attention that the very day the Flash disappeared closing a catastrophic event, Barry Allen suddenly filed a request for personal time off and left town.” Captain Singh pulled a sheet of paper from behind the newspaper that Joe recognized as the printed copy of the request he himself had forged. The captain’s finger pointed to the date at the top. It was the same day as the singularity, not the night before. Joe had only managed to get it done that night once they realized that Barry wasn’t coming back. Joe knew interrogation tactics well enough to know his lie was being tested.

 Joe’s gaze seemed to deepen and intensify as he tried to hold in his emotions. His boss continued to gaze at him intently as he spoke. “Doesn’t that seem a little…odd to you?”

 Joe West was typically a pretty good liar. He’d spent time lying to his daughter, friends, Barry and his partner. And he usually got away with it. But this was one of those times he couldn’t quite manage it. He’d never before had to pretend that the man he loved as a son was alive and well while deep inside he was deathly afraid that he wasn’t. The lump in his throat was growing, and he could feel his eyes burning. He stared at his boss, who he truly respected, and try as he might, he just could not pull this one off. He swallowed thickly, and the very expression on his face confirmed what Captain Singh had already guessed.

The captain’s shoulders drooped slightly. His face was grim and full of dread. “Is he dead?”

 Joe shook his head slightly as he tried to regain his voice. Finally he managed to choke out, “I don’t know.”

 “What happened?”

 “He went up to close it, and when it closed, he just—vanished. I don’t know where he is.” Joe wiped his eyes.

 David moved off his desk and sat in the chair next to Joe. His face was serious as he adjusted to this information. Allen. Klutzy, late, slow Allen was the Flash, and he was missing. It was amazing, hard to believe and yet it made complete sense. Even as he tried to adjust to that reality he had another thought.

 “What about Detective Thawne? Is he just missing too? There’s no body. Should we even be planning a funeral?” Joe was already shaking his head. David felt the tiny bubble of hope burst.

 “Eddie died a hero. I saw it. He is dead. He was sucked into the vortex; we couldn’t get to him before it took him. He saved many people and he deserves every honor this police force can bury him with.” Joe’s voice was emphatic.

 David sensed there was more to that particular story, but he could also tell Joe truly believed what he was telling him. He thought about pushing for more details, and then decided it was better not to know. Plausible deniability, if anything. He nodded. “Okay. I’ll call in a temporary forensic specialist; Allen is on indefinite leave for now, like when he was in the coma. Let me know if you find anything.” Joe nodded, working to hide his slight surprise and definite relief. David stood and moved around to his desk, sitting at the computer and starting to type in his password. “Luckily my administrator permissions allow me to alter certain fields. So I’m changing the date Allen asked for leave to two days before the disaster. He was off those days so there are no reports with his signature, and hopefully no one can prove he wasn’t long gone before this thing went down.” He gave a final few taps on his keyboard. “There.”

 Joe swallowed again. “Thank you, Dav—Captain.”

 Captain Singh nodded. “Keep me posted. I really hope he’s not dead. Not only am I down a superhero that helps protect the city, I’ve lost my best forensic scientist and a damn good detective. I’d say this day couldn’t get any worse, but the funeral is in a few hours.” He looked up and caught sight of Joe’s face. His tone softened slightly. “Go get ready for the funeral, Joe. Check on Iris.”

 Joe blew out a deep breath and stood up, straightening his suit jacket. He thought of saying something before he left, but there didn’t seem to be anything left to say. He left his boss’ office and wondered if Iris was still at CCPN.

 

* * *

 

Iris stood in front of her apartment door, key in hand. Her movements were slow as she unlocked it and swung the door open. It took her a moment to actually enter; the space felt so different now.

 She walked in with deliberate, if slower, strides. She stopped briefly in the living room before continuing to the bedroom. On her way she surveyed Eddie’s suit coat laid over a chair, the last dishes she used still in the sink. The blankets still on the couch from Eddie’s last night there gave her pause. But the sight that truly drew her gaze was the small pile of clothing and personal items collected and put to the side in their bedroom. The last time Iris had been in this apartment she had thought she and Eddie were through. She’d been piling things to take with her to her dad’s house, ready to stay with Barry and Joe until she could arrange to take the rest of her belongings. That day she had run out of time and had to leave for work, figuring she’d come back after and retrieve them. But Barry had caught Eobard and was presented an irresistible opportunity, and Eddie had decided screw the future and come to find her at CCPN. Caitlin and Ronnie had married, Barry had gone back in time only to return without changing anything it seemed, and everything had gone to hell. Iris hadn’t been back since.

 It was a horribly cruel fate, she felt, to think you could have everything for just a short time before it was all ripped away. Far worse than simply being refused it in the first place.

 She blanked her mind the best she could and went to the closet. She pulled out suitable attire for a funeral, purposely making it as drab as possible. Now was not the time for fashion, and she didn’t want to feel good about herself at this moment.

 She went into the bathroom, intending to find the brush her father hadn’t been able to locate on his trip here, but a look at the bathroom counter stopped her cold.

 Two items lay side by side, completely by accident. One had been left there for lack of any better place and would have been left behind when she moved out, back when she’d thought she would be. The other had simply been waiting to be picked up for its next turn to be worn. One in a box, one on a chain. One given by her best friend, the other never really given to her at all.

 Two rings stared at her. Mocked her. Cut her to the quick.

 One for the man she could never have.

 And one for the man she’d never realized she already had.

 Sounds emerged from her throat, harsh and breathy. They reverberated off the hard surfaces and came back at her, assaulting her ears.

 She rushed forward and scooped them into a drawer. The sound of the drawer slamming shut echoed through the apartment.

 

* * *

 

 The group that gathered for Eddie’s funeral was fairly diverse. The funeral home was full of cops, some politicians, S.T.A.R. Lab employees and Eddie’s family. Iris had met Eddie’s mother on several occasions, but she had never held a conversation with her without Eddie present as well. She stood in the foyer near them but off to the side as her father, Caitlin, Ronnie, Cisco, Martin and his wife clustered around her as if trying to shield her.

 She noticed Eddie’s mother glance her direction several times, but she avoided her gaze. She just didn’t know what to say. What would she do if Mrs. Thawne asked for more details about how her son had died? Iris and the others present had already decided the truth could never be clearly revealed. Not only did it sound insane, but also they feared Eddie’s actions would be misread as something other than heroic, and they all knew that they were. So they fudged the truth slightly, to make sure Eddie received the honor he deserved.

 Caitlin’s hand grasped her arm, jarring Iris out of her thoughts. “Iris, it’s time to go in.”

 “Right.” Iris could tell that Caitlin was desperately trying to be there for her, but the sight of Ronnie at her elbow only made her think of their wedding, when she had held Eddie’s hand and cheered for them, and hoped that soon it would be her and Eddie getting married. She stared straight ahead as they went to sit down, not looking at any of the group with her, or her father at her elbow. As they sat Cisco fidgeted slightly, then caused a minor disruption to make sure he slid into the seat next to her. With her father on the other side, she realized she was slightly separated from the two happy couples with them, and wondered if Cisco had done it on purpose. If so she appreciated it.

 Eddie’s mother had offered her the chance to speak at Eddie’s funeral, but Iris had declined. She was sure she would never get through it, she couldn’t say that he had died saving her and the others directly, and she couldn’t shake the feeling that she didn’t quite belong up there speaking. As it was, sitting on the front row opposite Eddie’s family felt counterfeit enough, even if Joe had been Eddie’s partner for a year.

 The large picture of Eddie’s bright smile, the coffin she knew was empty, the speakers who spoke in glowing terms about him even though she was pretty sure they had never truly noticed him while he was alive made it impossible not to cry during the service, but she held in as much as possible. Joe reached for her hand at one moment, but she was already moving to dab her eyes with tissue and the moment was lost. He didn’t reach for her hand again, and she couldn’t decide whether she wanted him to or not.

 So she didn’t move.

 

* * *

 

The ride to the cemetery was silent as Joe drove them, their car towards the front of a long procession following an empty hearse that would never be filled.

 They all gathered around the gravesite, waiting for the rest of the company to file in and sit down. Iris looked up and realized they had a perfect view of downtown Central City from this hillside. The jarring lack of a skyscraper in the skyline marked the location of the singularity. She stared at it, and wondered if it was fitting or just cruel irony that she was here to bury Eddie but now could also include Barry’s loss in the process. Longing welled up in her.

 “Iris?” The voice startled her out of her thoughts. Eddie’s mother was standing next to her, having worked her way over from her side of the seats. She still looked elegant, as ever, even in her dark somber dress. Her silvery blond hair was elegantly coiffed. Always the wife of a politician, even a deceased one. Her smile was sad but contained warmth for Iris. The older woman moved forward to hug her, and she gladly reciprocated. It felt good to comfort someone who had also suffered this loss. Joe gave them a sad smile and stepped back, giving them a tiny bit of privacy.

 “Mrs. Thawne—“

 “Iris, I know you weren’t my son’s wife. But I had hoped one day you would be. I just wanted to say that this last year of his life he was so happy, and I know that was because of you. So thank you, my dear, thank you for loving my son.”

 Throat blocked, Iris just nodded. They hugged again, and then Mrs. Thawne moved back to her seat as they prepared to start the burial.

 Anything that was said was a blur, Iris could never recall it afterwards. She stared at the coffin, that empty coffin that didn’t have Eddie in it, and realized that tears had been coursing down her cheeks since the moment Mrs. Thawne had spoken her last words to her. They ran in an endless stream down her face, instantly replaced if she wiped them away. There were no sobs to accompany them, but Joe noticed and shifted slightly closer.

Iris looked out at the skyline, locating the singularity’s location easily once more. It was blurred slightly, but she could see it. She could see the place where her life had changed forever. A bullet and a black hole had ripped away two of the most important pieces of her life, and there was no point in her standing here anymore. She wasn’t Eddie’s fiancée, she never had been. And he wasn’t here anyway.

 As her father and Eddie’s family stepped closer to throw dirt on a descending empty coffin, Iris broke away from the gathering and walked away. She walked deeper into the cemetery; eyes still blurred by the never-ending tears, and realized the reason Mrs. Thawne’s words had hit so hard.

 She _had_ loved Eddie, but she wasn’t sure she had loved him enough.

 

* * *

 

It was several hours later that Caitlin finally found her. Iris was sitting inside S.T.A.R. Labs, just inside the particle accelerator. From her position she could just see where the singularity had broken through the building as it rose to the sky, and the place where Eddie had died in her arms.

 But she could also see the place where she had said goodbye to Barry, before he had gone back in time. Where she had kissed his forehead and told him that whatever life he found she hoped it was enough and made him happy.

 She held the piece of metal in her hands and ran her fingers over it as she sat on the floor.  

 Caitlin approached slowly; as if she were afraid Iris would bolt. Iris gave her a rueful smile. “Sorry if I worried you guys.”

 Caitlin relaxed slightly, moving to sit next to Iris. “It’s okay. I guess it just got to be too much?” As she finished speaking Iris could see Caitlin’s phone in the other woman’s hand as she texted a message. She was probably letting Joe know that she’d located her. That was fine; he had probably called out reinforcements and started searching block by block by now.

 “Everything is too much right now.” Iris just didn’t feel like she had the right words to articulate everything going on inside her.

 Caitlin gave an understanding nod. She gestured to the open door next to them. “You know, the night the accelerator exploded, I was on the other side of that door. Ronnie was inside here. It was one of the worst nights of my life. Things were very hard for a long time after that. But—“

 “I hope you’re not going to tell me that there’s still hope that he’ll come back. We all know that’s not true.” Iris pressed her finger onto a sharp edge of the metal piece.

 “No, no I wasn’t going to say that. But when Barry came down here with me, and I started to deal with what had happened instead of just running from it, he said something to me. I told him how Ronnie had saved lives that night, and he said that he was a hero.” Caitlin didn’t mention what her response had been, that she didn’t want him to be a hero, she’d wanted him to be her husband. It would be cruel and pointless to bring that out.

 Iris stared at the metal piece. “I know he was a hero. He was always a hero. But it doesn’t bring him back.” Iris closed her hand over the piece, hiding it from sight.

 “I know.” Caitlin moved to touch her shoulder, then thought better of it. “If anything, he got to die saving people, and that is how he would always want to go.”

 “Yes it is. But I miss him so much.”

 Caitlin abandoned restraint and reached over, enveloping Iris in a hug. Iris laid her head on Caitlin’s shoulder and cried, letting the sobs emerge that should have come out hours ago.

 “The w-worst part ab-out it, is that we’re not t-talking about one person, we’re talking about t-two.”

 Caitlin froze, realizing that their entire conversation could have applied to either missing man. She swallowed back tears of her own and hugged Iris tighter. “You’re right. Eddie died a hero, and I’m so sorry he’s gone. And maybe Barry died a hero too. But I just can’t give up on Barry yet. We don’t know he’s dead. I thought Ronnie was and he came back to me and now he’s my husband, something I never thought would happen. I’m not going to give up on Barry yet. You shouldn’t either.”

 Iris nodded. “I know. I’m just so worried that he won’t come back. I can’t do this again, it’s just like the coma.”

 “I get that. Living in hope can be a miserable experience. But take it from someone who’s been there; living in fear of losing something is just as bad. Worse, actually. For me, I’ll choose hope now, every time.”

 Iris nodded. Eddie’s loss hurt, it left a huge gaping hole. Barry’s loss hurt just as bad, but if he had come out of the coma and come back to her, maybe he could still come back again.

 When they entered the main cortex Cisco was there, fiddling with some tech at his workstation. He looked up in relief when Iris came in, offering her a smile. “Hey, Iris. Hope you’re doing okay.” Iris didn’t reply but gave him a small smile back, preparing to head back to her father’s house. Cisco, anxious to give support, held up the newspaper he’d noticed on his way back from Eddie’s funeral. “I see you got the front page, that’s dope. Your article was really good and they used the picture you got of him too.”

 “Thanks, Cisco.”

 He rushed to fill the slight pause in their speech. “Yeah, I mean when I first saw the headline, I thought I was seeing the future article again, but then I realized that the gas station didn’t look like Eobard’s secret lair at all. He didn’t have icee machines.”

 Iris stared at him. “What?”

 Cisco stared back. “What?”

 “The headline is the same as the future article? The one that I write as Iris West-Allen?”

 Cisco opened his mouth, but nothing came out. His gaze flickered to Caitlin, who was standing behind Iris giving him a look of death and a subtle headshake. But Iris was still expecting a reply. He weighed his words so carefully they came out at a snail’s pace. “I—thought you knew…that.”

 “I never saw it, Eddie just told me about the name and the date.” Iris looked at Caitlin, then back to Cisco. “So he goes missing then too? I lose him then, too?”

 “We don’t know that he stays missing, the article was written but we never saw a follow up. He could come back the next day!”

 “But you don’t know that.”

 “Well, no, but so many things have changed, and Eobard was erased from existence, we don’t even know that _that_ future even happens anymore! We could’ve totally changed how things play out!” Cisco’s voice was getting more and more distressed as he looked at her face. He wasn’t even sure why, but somehow this was a big deal.

 Iris shook her head, feeling a weight fall on her again. She remembered talking with Barry on the rooftop, when she’d brought up hyphenating. He had even tried to say that they didn’t know if that future event would ever happen now. “Maybe so. But it’s still the same, isn’t it? It’s always the same. I’m destined to lose him.” A bitter laugh emerged. “That’s great. That’s just great! So one way I lose him after we get married, and another I lose him before I even have a chance to—“ her words cut off abruptly, she was shaking as she gathered her purse and jacket. “I was always going to lose him. Might as well get used to it.” She left quickly, leaving a stilted silence in her wake.

 Caitlin gave him an aggravated look. “Why would you even bring that up?”

 Cisco shrugged miserably. “Just trying to help. Sorry.”

 Caitlin came over to him, putting a hand on his shoulder. “I know.” But that didn’t stop the frustrated sigh that emerged.

 It didn’t seem like there was any help for this.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From here on out, a scene taking place in our version of the Central City from the show will have the words Central City in bold showing at the beginning. I'm perfectly aware that both worlds take place in that city, but for the sake of clarity only our world will have this. I'll do my best to keep things from getting terribly confusing as we take a look at our world and the alternate world, heh. :)


	4. Exactly the Same But Completely Different, a screenplay by Barry Allen(s)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A new name, a new face and a familiar place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is fairly short, but the next one will follow tomorrow or Friday at the latest. Thanks for reading, and for all the support and comments! :)

 

 

Barry woke with a groan, feeling sore all over. He opened his eyes and squinted quickly. Sunlight was streaming into the living room.

 “Morning, sunshine.” Iris was standing at the foot of the couch looking down at him, a grin playing around her lips. She had a long fluffy robe wrapped around her that was obviously her husband’s. The sleeves were rolled up to accommodate her shorter arms but the extra length allowed her to tie the robe shut around her belly. Barry got the feeling that his counterpart wouldn’t see that robe back in his own clothing until after their babies were born. “Sleep well?”

 “Uhh, kind of.” Barry realized his blankets were once more on the floor. He reached down to retrieve them, feeling his muscles protest as he did. He grimaced. Iris watched sympathetically.

 “Hard to sleep when you’re away from home, huh?”

 He stopped pushing his newly retrieved blankets to the foot of the couch to look up at her. Her eyes were sparkling with repressed laughter. He shook his head as a small laugh escaped. “Away from home. Nice. Yeah, you could say that.”

 She giggled, happy he’d caught her joke. “I’m going to make breakfast. You boys have work to do.”

 Barry nodded and moved to get up as a gust of wind blew out from the master bedroom. Older Barry emerged, dressed for the day. Barry couldn’t hold in another groan as he stood up, stretching out sore muscles as he reached for the ceiling. He caught sight of Older Barry watching him. “I hate your couch.”

 Older Barry pointed. “What, that couch? I’ve slept many times on that couch. It’s very comfortable. You have hyper healing, don’t be a baby.”

 Barry gave him a look. “You’ve slept on the couch many times?” He raised his eyebrows. “Trouble in paradise?”

 “I’ve _fallen asleep_ many times on that couch.” Older Barry corrected himself firmly. “Doesn’t mean I stayed there.” Barry couldn’t help grinning.

 “Barry?” Iris was calling from the kitchen.

 “Yeah?” They both answered, both turning her direction as she popped her head out of the kitchen. She froze a moment before she came out the rest of the way, trailing her extra long robe behind her.

 “Okay, this isn’t going to work. We need some kind of alias for one of you; it’s too confusing to have both of you answering to Barry.”

 Older Barry slid Barry a superior glance as he affected a too-innocent expression and tone. “You know, Oliver said the same thing yesterday, and there was a name put forth by Barry himself.” Barry rolled his eyes.

 Iris gave him an expectant look. “Really? What is it?” She took in his expression. “It’s not Bartholomew, is it?” Her nose wrinkled as she made a face.

 Older Barry grabbed his younger counterpart by the shoulders. “Oh no, it’s better! Go ahead, Barry, tell her what you suggested.” His voice was already starting to shake with mirth again.

 Barry shrugged out of the other’s grip and sighed. “I suggested Bear.” He braced himself and wasn’t disappointed.

 Older Barry let loose the laugh he’d been holding in. “Isn’t that just hilarious?” He looked to his wife for confirmation.

 But Iris had a considering look on her face. She looked at Barry, who looked defensive but was obviously trying to hide it. “Shortened from Barry. Is that what _your_ Iris calls you?” Her voice was soft with understanding.

 Barry debated a moment before he responded. “And Joe. They’re my family.” He crossed his arms and waited, ready to go on the offensive.

 Iris smiled. “I like it. There’s nothing more important than family. Oh! Wait a moment.” She hurried back into the kitchen.

 Barry couldn’t help it. He turned a wickedly triumphant smile toward the other man. Older Barry looked miffed that no one saw the humor in the name like he did. He mumbled his next words to Barry out of the side of his mouth as Iris came back out of the kitchen. “I still think it sounds cuddly.”

 Iris approached them, a long wooden spoon in her hand. She pointed it at Barry. “Kneel, sir.”

 Barry looked down at himself, in his borrowed pajamas. “Um—“

 She raised her eyebrows, silently daring him to refuse. Older Barry recognized the look and gave him a look of his own that told him he’d better start complying pronto. Barry sighed, rolling his eyes slightly as he kneeled in front of the couch. But there was already a grin tugging at his lips. This reminded him of the time he and Iris had played knight and dragon when they were kids. Of course, the only reason she’d agreed not to be the knight was so she could be the queen dubbing him. Then she’d insisted as queen she would be allowed to go fight it with him anyway. Joe’s couch had never been the same when they were done. The memories made him smile for real as he looked up at Iris now, still managing to look queenly in her too-long robe and pregnant belly. He looked down at the floor, playing along. He heard Older Barry shifting behind the couch and imagined he was ever so slightly jealous. Good.

 Iris carefully laid the spoon on each of Barry’s shoulders and affected a regal tone of voice. “I hereby dub thee Bear, with all the rights and honors pertaining to it, until such time as you return to your own world and get to be called Barry again—except by your Iris and Joe, of course.” She withdrew the spoon and gave him a proud smile.

 Bear looked up at her, feeling the absurd pride that came with this new name, now that Iris herself had deemed it worthy in this world. Barry could laugh all he wanted.

 Bear had never sounded so good before.

 

* * *

 

 

After a very large breakfast for each member of the trio, Barry gave Bear some extra clothes and a hat to wear while they were out. Bear was tempted to argue about it, but it really did make sense not to advertise that Barry Allen suddenly had a slightly younger look-alike following him around. Iris was reduced to half time in the office now thanks to the twins but still worked from home. She gave Barry a kiss at the door and Bear a hug before sending them off.

 Barry and the newly dubbed Bear headed out into the city, speeding through city blocks. They whipped in and out of traffic, finding a familiar route Bear had used in his world many times. About the time they hit the parking lot of a very familiar building, Bear was starting to get concerned. He stopped on the very outskirts of the parking lot. Barry noticed and circled around to stop next to him.

 “What’s the matter?” Barry looked slightly concerned as well. Bear was pretty sure he had the exact same look on his own face.

 Bear just stared back at him. “Who wrote the paper you read?”

 “Well, I don’t know them personally, but they’re inside. Come on, we’re not going to get you home standing out here.” Barry walked away, leaving Bear no choice but to follow.

 They strode toward the main entrance of the facility, and Bear was craning his neck to look in all directions. The parking lot was very full. He could see buses for a school field trip lined up in one area. As they came closer and closer to the doors they merged with the stream of people headed inside for the day.

 It was the busiest Bear had ever seen S.T.A.R. Labs. Ever.

 They entered the office for visitors (always closed down and locked in Bear’s world, it wasn’t staffed and there weren’t any visitors). Bear stood back against the furthest wall, arms crossed as Barry approached the reception desk. A very nice middle-aged woman spoke to Barry and then led them to a small room off the connected hallway. Bear slouched in, feeling the need to hide his face more than ever as the lady peered at him and Barry, asking if they wanted water or something else. Both politely declined. Once the woman smiled at them one final time and left them to wait, closing the door behind her, Barry rounded on Bear.

 “Are you okay? What’s the matter?”

 Bear finally uncrossed his arms. “I just don’t feel comfortable here.”

 “Don’t you have a S.T.A.R. Labs in your world?”

 “Yes, but it’s never been _this_ busy.” Bear widened his eyes for emphasis.

 Barry stared at him a moment, finally realizing that there were things from Bear’s world that he probably shouldn’t talk about if he was going to follow Barry’s own rule. “Okay. Fine. Look, don’t worry about it we’re just going to ask some questions. I won’t tell them anything about the Flash.”

 Bear relaxed slightly, feeling reassured. “Okay.” He glanced out the small window, noting the full parking lot again, and then back to Barry. “So, how did you get your powers?”

 Barry looked slightly surprised. He seemed to consider the safety of answering the question before deciding it was probably okay. “I was just reading comics in my lab, and lightning struck me. Chemicals, lightning, ta-da,” he spread his arms out to put himself on display “fastest man alive.” His arms came down as he considered Bear’s expression. “Why?”

 “There was no—explosion, no major catastrophe that caused the lightning?”

 “No.” Barry’s forehead wrinkled. “Why, was it that way for you?”

 “Kind of.” Bear mumbled as he turned toward the window, feeling disgruntled. Some guys had all the luck. “Spoiled.”

 Barry clearly took offense at Bear’s last word but lost his chance to respond as the door opened again and two people walked in.

 The first arrival Bear didn’t recognize at all. She was middle aged, tall and attractive with light hair and a friendly face.

 The second Bear recognized immediately. It was Eobard. Or more likely, Harrison Wells.

 He was almost exactly the same as Bear remembered, except there was no wheelchair and his face was just this side of different. Looking at him (and then quickly averting his own face as he shook hands with the man) Bear realized that this Harrison’s glasses were different. They had clear frames, and made his face look far more open and friendly. His posture was more relaxed than Eobard’s had ever been, and his eyes were bright with enthusiasm. But it took a moment for Bear to recognize the difference and force his body to relax. He hadn’t even realized it at first. His entire body was coiled with tension, ready to spring into action. Barry noticed and shot him a nervous warning glance. Bear realized his face had settled into antagonistic lines and tried his best to smooth it out.

 “—Dr. Wells, Miss Morgan, it is so great to meet you,” Barry was finishing. “I’m sorry to bother you, but I remember the paper you two wrote a while back, and I just wanted to ask you about the theory.”

 Harrison Wells laughed. It made Bear’s skin prickle. “Actually, we probably wrote that paper while we were Dr. Wells and Miss Morgan, but it’s now Dr. And Mrs. Wells.” He gave his wife a fond glance and slid his hand into hers.

 “Really? Well, congratulations! I’m married myself, and my wife is everything to me.” Barry was beaming. Bear was starting to feel like the fifth wheel—again. Perfect. Even in another universe he couldn’t escape it.

 Tess looked away from her husband long enough to note Bear quietly standing in the back. “Are you married, Mr…?” She left the word hanging, waiting for him to fill in his name. Barry jumped in.

 “Henry. This is Bear Henry, he’s my—cousin.” He gave a wide, nervous smile.

 “Bear? Oh that’s unusual.” Tess looked to Bear for more detail, and he managed to answer before Barry could jump in again.

 “It’s a nickname, but it’s stuck with me for a long time now. And to answer your question, no I’m not married.” He managed a tight smile, trying not to think of Tess Morgan’s fate in his world.

 “And you’re cousins? Well that makes sense look at the resemblance. If I didn’t know better I’d say you were twins!”

 Barry laughed slightly too loud. “Yeah, we get that all the time.” His smile dropped almost instantly as he tried to get back on the subject. “So, about that paper you wrote…”

 “Oh, right!” Harrison was nodding. “Which one?” He gestured to the open door. “I’m sorry, things are crazy here right now, would you like a bit of a tour? We need to head to the main cortex and sign off on some things. Mind if we walk and talk?”

 Barry shot a quick glance at Bear, who nodded slightly. “Yes, that would be great. Lead the way.”

 They headed out the doorway and to the elevators. Barry and Harrison were in the lead, while Bear and Tess followed after. Bear was staring at the floor most of the time, intently listening to the conversation.

 Barry got back to the topic immediately. “So the paper I was interested in was the one about your theory on alternate universes?”

 Harrison laughed. “What, that? Oh that was years ago, before we got serious and started building S.T.A.R. Labs. Didn’t I used to call that our fantasy theory, honey?” He looked over to Tess as he entered the elevator and pushed the right button. The others followed him in.

 “I think it was the sci-fi theory, Harrison,” she replied. “I always liked it, even if it seemed a bit far fetched.”

 Barry was nodding quickly, as if he could speed up the conversation by agreeing faster. Bear found himself doing the same. “Yes, but the theory was that there might be—alternate universes, right? Multiple worlds?”

 Harrison smiled reminiscently. “Yeah, that was the idea.”

 “And they are divided by what? Why don’t they crash into each other, why aren’t we aware of the others?”

 “Well,” Harrison looked at the two visitors in turn, “theoretically, you mean?”

 “Oh! Yeah! Yeah, theoretically!” Barry was nodding even faster and seemed in danger of blurring his entire face. Bear elbowed him surreptitiously.

 “Okay, theoretically, we hypothesized that these worlds are kept separate because they each vibrate at their own specific frequency. So there could be multiple worlds right near each other, but one is never aware of the others.”

 There was a moment of silence in which the elevator dinged. The doors opened. Harrison led the way out, and both Bear and Barry moved quickly to keep in the conversation. Barry kept talking.

 “Okay, that’s interesting Dr. Wells. Now what I wanted to ask, is do you think it is possible to travel across those frequencies to another world?”

 Harrison came to an abrupt stop outside the main cortex entrance. “Travel? No. I don’t see how that’s possible. What do you think, Tess?”

 Tess had a considering look on her face. “If our theory was correct, and that’s a really big if, someone would have to vibrate at exactly the right frequency to be able to cross through that barrier to another world. That’s not physically possible for a human being. That’s one of the reasons we gave up trying to prove it and moved on to other fields of science. It’s impossible to experiment with. There would have to be some kind of mitigating factor to enable that kind of crossing without vibrating.”

 “Like a black hole?” Bear spoke for the first time since they’d left the main office. He was still staring at the floor, even as the others rounded on him in surprise.

 Harrison had a look of utter fascination on his face. “A black hole? Well I don’t see—but maybe—Honey, doesn’t a black hole’s accretion disc have some kind of energy event to it?”

 “Somewhere around 6.7 teraelectron voltz.” Tess supplied, nodding her head. Bear looked up in surprise.

 Harrison was smiling. He nodded to Barry. “One of the many reasons I love having her around. She’s got an amazing memory.” Tess smiled at him, and it couldn’t have been more obvious they were deeply in love. Bear looked back down at the floor, frowning.

 Barry flicked a glance at Bear then turned back to Dr. Wells. “A black hole?” he reminded Harrison.

 “Oh, right. So a black hole with an energy event of such magnitude…I guess it could be possible it could facilitate travel between universes, but not it its typical state.”

 “What if you disrupted the motion?” Bear’s voice was heavy with dread.

 Harrison gave him an incredulous look. “Are you two writing a novel or something?”

 “A screenplay,” Barry supplied. “We take our research very seriously, Dr. Wells.”

 Harrison’s face cleared, while Tess made a small noise of approval. “Well, hats off to you two, usually people just put together a bunch of science words and call it good. It’s hard to find a good sci-fi movie I can sit through.”

 Tess seemed to have really gotten on board with the idea of a movie. “All right then, if, somehow, in your story you disrupted the motion of a black hole with that kind of energy event, the vibrations caused while the accretion disc shattered apart could very well allow for travel from one universe to another if they hit just the right frequency. There would most likely be—“

 “—a bright light,” finished Bear. He was glad only the floor could see his face. His stomach was curled with tension as his thoughts followed through. He had shattered the disc, and the resulting vibrations had allowed him to travel from his world to this one. That white light had been the doorway.

 “Right,” Tess gave him an amazed glance. “You know, I bet you’re a great screenwriter, but you may have missed your chance to be an amazing scientist, Mr. Henry.” She gave a small chuckle that he didn’t return.

 Barry pushed forward. “So, once the accretion disc was gone, would there be any way to get back through to the other world again?”

 Harrison shook his head. “I don’t see how. The facilitating factor would be gone. Hard to recreate that exactly again.”

 “But,” Bear looked up, trying to hide the desperation on his face, “what if someone _could_ vibrate to that exact frequency? Couldn’t they—phase through?”

 Barry gasped in agreement. “Yeah! What about that?”

 Harrison looked at both of them for a moment before he answered. “Not without knowing the exact frequency of that world. Otherwise you’d just be blindly shooting and hoping you hit something just right. Too many unknown factors. That would be very, very dangerous, with very little odds for success. But it would make for a great movie, I guess.”

 There was a moment of silence. Bear was staring at the floor again, trying to disguise the fact that his breaths were coming in harsh gasps. Barry gave him a worried look. Neither speedster could think of anything else to say.

 The moment was broken when a lab tech popped his head out from the main cortex. “Dr. Wells? Mrs. Wells? We need you guys in here.”

 “Sure thing, Kevin.” Dr Wells turned to Bear and Barry. “Well! It was really great meeting you two. If you use our theory in your screenplay, I expect my name in the credits!” He and Tess laughed, holding out hands to shake with both visitors again.

 “Of course,” Barry was smiling his fake smile again, but Bear couldn’t even muster one.

 “Can you find your way out or shall I lead you there?” Tess was pointing up the corridor as her husband headed into the main cortex.

 “Oh,” Barry looked in that direction, looking unsure. “Um-"

 “I know the way out.” Bear turned on his heel and led Barry out of the building.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From here on out, our Barry will be referred to as Bear while in the alternate world. I hope it's not too jarring or difficult an adjustment, but there needs to be a division between the two for clarity's sake. I appreciate that most of us would rather change Older Barry's name, but it doesn't play out that way, and Bear has always been the nickname for ours. :) I really hope this doesn't put anyone off or make them stop reading. Hi-jinks, angst and fun stuff is in the near future and worth having a Bear and a Barry! :)


	5. Jewelry, Wallets, and Puns For Charity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bear gets a better look at the world he's stuck in. Also: Puns!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, the last one was short, and now this one is HUGE. I probably could have made them both a bit more even but the writing didn't fall that way. Oh well. Enjoy! :) 
> 
> As always, thanks for your awesome support, kudos and comments! (Still need to reply to a few of them!) You guys are awesome! :)

 Bear sat on the roof of Barry and Iris’ apartment building. He was pressed up against a wall, knees drawn up, hands wrapped around them. The sun was behind him and out of his view. He listened to the sounds of the city drift up while he watched the sunlight slip farther and farther off the roof. It was late in the day, and he was tired of talking. He just wanted to be alone for a while.

 He appreciated all of Barry’s talking since they’d left S.T.A.R. Labs that morning. He was truly grateful that Barry had told him they weren’t giving up yet, that they hadn’t exhausted every possibility, that he would do everything he could to get Bear home.

 But it didn’t make him feel very hopeful.

 When they had arrived back at the apartment Barry had left for work. Iris had sat with him, attempting to lend support. He’d gently pointed her back toward her computer to finish her latest article, and she’d seemed to understand that he needed to be alone. After restlessly prowling the apartment for a few hours he’d come up to the roof for some air.

 Right now would probably be the point where Joe would approach him and give him some good advice, tell him how he could get through this or why he couldn’t let this beat him. But his Joe, whose house he had grown up in, the man who was like a second father to him was in another world. Bear was having a hard time motivating himself by himself, but part of that was because his options seemed so slim.

 At this point he could just blindly vibrate and hope he phased through—and probably end up stuck half through a wall or something. Or half in some other world that wasn’t even his. Getting home sounded impossible. Probably because it was. This world, this reality seemed to be pressing its uncomfortable truth on him: he was stuck here, and there was no way to get back. It felt like his life had been ripped away. He felt like he’d do anything to get it back.

 The chink of an arrow entering concrete reached his ears, and a moment later he was unsurprised to see Oliver swing onto the roof. He watched as Oliver detached his cable and moved over to stand in front of him.

 “You do realize there are other ways to get around, right?” Bear realized he sounded testy but that didn’t do much to fix it.

 Oliver didn’t reply, just looked at him. After appraising a moment, Oliver decided to slide down the wall next to Bear. Silence ensued. Bear felt no need to break it so he just looked at his knees, feeling Oliver’s gaze on him.

 Eventually Oliver cleared his throat lightly. “So…Barry told me the news wasn’t so good?” Bear just nodded slightly. Oliver echoed the movement, obviously searching for something to say. There was an awkward beat. “Well, you know what they say, don’t give up.” Oliver thought a moment. “It’s always darkest before the dawn.” Barry held in a groan. Oliver tilted his head, staring at the sky as if for inspiration. “When life gives you lemons—“

 Bear cut him off. “Okay, no, I’m sorry but I can’t do this. I can’t sit here with you and deal with you giving me optimistic phrases and trying to be a bucket of sunshine. _My_ Oliver would give me advice and tell me not to give up, but he’d put two arrows in my back to prove his point, or tell me how his life is so much worse to make me feel better. My Oliver would tell me life sucks but I should get up and do something. I just can’t do this right now, okay?”

 Oliver’s eyebrows rose as he listened. Bear looked away, feeling guilty about his outburst but still not wanting to take it back. Oliver tapped the end of his bow on the ground as he thought.

 “Well,” Oliver spoke slowly. “That sounds a little hard core, but if you want me to shoot you, I’d be happy to oblige.” He turned his head to look at Bear, who was still staring straight ahead. “Then can I give you advice?”

 Bear’s frustration started to give way as his face cracked into a smile. His shoulders shook slightly as he laughed a little. Oliver grinned as well and then both of them were laughing together for a moment. Bear rested his head on the wall behind him and looked Oliver’s way.

 “Sorry.”

 Oliver waved it off. “Don’t sweat it. I’ve had much worse from Dinah. And Hal. Clark, Bruce, Diana, Barry—“ he would have kept going, but he caught sight of Bear’s slightly confused face and changed topic quickly. “So, I get the feeling _I’m_ the bright and happy Oliver?”

 “Yeah,” Bear chuckled. “You could say that.”

 “Hmmm,” Oliver’s face had a look of concentration as he digested that fact. “Never thought I’d hear that. But, your Oliver, what would he really say to you right now?”

 Bear gave the other man a considering glance as he thought about it. “He’d tell me he still believed in me, and if I needed anything he’d be there. With a possible arrow wound or a challenge to fight and see who would win.”

 Oliver laughed out loud. “Well, we’re not _that_ different then. You had me worried for a moment.” He clapped a hand on Bear’s shoulder.

 Bear was shaking his head and smiling slightly when the door to the stairs opened. Barry and Iris came through. Iris gave him a gentle smile. Barry was conspicuously trying to cover up his worry. They stood in front of Bear and Oliver, holding hands.

 “Glad you two showed up, I was about to challenge Bear here to a fight, just to see who wins.” Oliver gave a sly wink in Bear’s direction. Bear shook his head, fighting a smile.

 “Well, as lovely as that sounds, I have a better idea.” Iris held her hands together in front of her, looking slightly giddy. “There’s a fundraiser tonight, and as part of the police force Barry is invited! He managed to wrangle you an invite too, Bear.” She gave him a slightly pleading smile, very aware of his current state of mind. “Please come with us.”

 “I don’t really—“ Bear took in the look on her face and admitted defeat. He heaved a sigh. “Okay.” Barry gave him an approving nod from behind his wife. Bear nodded back and looked over at Oliver. “Want to go as my plus one, Oliver?”

 Oliver shook his head. “I’ll be there, but I won’t need an invite.”

 Barry was shaking his head as well, but for a totally different reason. “You don’t always have to be antisocial, you know. You can mingle a little.”

 “I get enough of that at home. This’ll be fun.” Oliver stood up and Bear followed suit.

 

* * *

 

 

After a quick dinner Iris spent a good hour in her room preparing for the evening, even though her current selection of fancy dresses was much smaller than usual. Barry provided Bear with a slightly dressier suit and wore his best one. Bear started to protest when Barry turned his way with the same baseball cap he’d worn to S.T.A.R. Labs that morning.

 “Oh, come on, I’d look like an idiot wearing this suit and that hat!” Bear wasn’t a fashion dresser by any means, but he knew certain things were going too far. Iris would never have let him get away with this growing up.

 Barry was still holding the hat out to him, but he kept his hands by his sides, resistant.

 Barry gave him a parental (or big brotherish) chiding look. “There is only one Barry here and that’s me. We need to keep you under wraps as much as possible.”

 “Fine, why don’t I just stay home, then?”

 “And disappoint Iris? Are you crazy? Even if you get home I still have to live with her. No way. You’re coming.” Barry pushed the hat closer.

 Bear took it with a glare. “Yes, _Dad_.”

 His counterpart rolled his eyes. “Oh, teenagers are going to be _so_ much fun.

 At that moment Iris exited the bedroom, looking beautiful as ever. “What’s that honey?”

 “Nothing, dear!” He sped close to her, putting one hand on her belly and the other on her back. “You. Look. Gorgeous.”

 Iris gave her husband a light push, looking Bear’s way, but he just nodded in agreement. Her smile had quite a blush behind it. “You boys…be careful, I might get used to twice the compliments.” She raised an eyebrow at them both, making them laugh.

 They were on their way out the door when Iris stopped short, Bear almost walking into her. She turned to her husband. “Do you have—“ her eyes flickered to his hand.

 “Of course.” Barry smiled at her, making his eyes crinkle. “Just in case.” His wife nodded, reassured.

 Bear followed her gaze and looked down at Barry’s hand as well. He easily realized what she was asking about.

 Barry was wearing a very familiar ring. Gold, with a lightning bolt on it. The last time Barry had seen that ring Eobard had been wearing it and had ejected his yellow suit right out of it before speeding it on. Cisco had been enthralled with the science of it. At the time Bear had thought it was something of Eobard’s own invention but now, looking at it on Barry’s hand he wondered if it had been another thing Eobard had stolen from him in the future. He had already stolen Gideon, apparently. The knowledge did little to improve his current mood as they set out for the fundraiser. 

 

* * *

 

 

The fundraiser was a typical affair, fancy people in fancy dress eating fancy appetizers. It was taking place in a large square surrounded by trees, beautiful at night. Bear found himself looking around, taking in the special lighting for the event and scanning the nearest buildings for Oliver, since he was pretty sure he’d be there watching from the dark. It took him a moment to realize Barry and Iris were talking in low tones next to him.

 “—if he knows who you are.” Iris had a worried look on her face.

 “He only thinks he knows,” Barry assured her, running his hands down her arms to hold her hands. “He doesn’t know anything for sure and he can’t prove it.”

 Iris chewed her bottom lip slightly. “You’d better be careful from now on.”

 Barry smiled. “Always.”

 Bear’s head popped into their conversation. “Who knows what? Is there trouble?”

 Barry shook his head. “Nothing major. A known enemy thinks he may know who the Flash is, that’s all.”

 That didn’t sound like nothing major to Bear. He opened his mouth to ask further questions, but instead Barry shouldered him and nodded up to the building behind Bear. Bear scrutinized the building and noted the barely visible form of Oliver crouched on a ledge, perfectly concealed if no one knew to look for him. Sitting utterly still, observing the cityscape and the party below, he seemed to be having a better time than Bear all things considered.

 “Nice,” he breathed. Barry nodded, grinning with appreciation.

 “Ooh appetizers!” Iris practically squealed, and made for the nearest server holding a tray. Barry smiled after her fondly and headed for the bar to see if they had something non-alcoholic. Bear helped himself to a stuffed mushroom cap with a sigh and resigned himself to a dull evening. But he’d try to enjoy himself, for Iris.

 He watched as Barry headed her direction with what looked like a sparkling water in his hand and felt a deep longing inside. Iris was now nibbling a meatball on a toothpick and chatting animatedly to Barry, who still hadn’t lost that fond smile. All Bear could do was wish he had his own Iris back again. He wondered what she was doing right now, how she was handling the recent events. He wished he could be there for her. Was she holding up all right? He wondered if Eddie’s funeral had taken place yet.

 He started walking back over to the couple, lost in his own thoughts.

 And that was how he completely missed the warning signs. Several guests suddenly put on ski masks and pulled out guns. He was almost to Barry and Iris, back to most of the crowd, when a voice he knew boomed over the mass of people.

 “Everybody freeze!”

 Several in the crowd cried out in surprise as they realized gunmen in black now surrounded them. Bear’s last few steps were way too fast for a normal person but no one noticed in the panic. Barry was planted next to his wife’s side, already slightly in front of her. Iris had gone still, both hands on her abdomen. Bear caught her annoyed whisper as he moved next to Barry, facing the other direction so they didn’t look like they were all together.

 “We should know better than to go to a charity event by now, they always get robbed. Dammit.”

 Up on his ledge, Oliver cursed silently and shifted to get a better look at what was going on. He couldn’t see much through the trees. Immediately he moved backward on the ledge several steps and prepared to scale the wall up to the roof.

 “We should do something,” Bear’s voice was low in Barry’s ear.

 “Wait.” Barry’s eyes flicked up the building they knew Oliver was on, and Bear followed his gaze quick enough to spot a glimpse of Oliver scaling the wall, moving to a better position. Oliver would help, Bear knew, but he needed a few minutes to get a better vantage point. The trees gathered around the square weren’t very helpful at all, which was probably the reason Oliver hadn’t noticed anything amiss sooner.

 The voice boomed over the crowd again, cutting off any leftover chatter.

 “Ladies and gentlemen, if you would please place your valuables in the hands of the mean man nearest you, we’ll get to the _real_ reason I’m here.”

 Leonard Snart stepped in front of the crowd, wearing his trademark fur-lined parka and goggles that were an edgier version of the ones Bear knew. As usual, he was brandishing his cold gun.

 And what a cold gun it was. It was larger than the one Cisco had built by quite a bit. Snart was using two hands to carry it. Bear could see even from here that it was more complex. When Snart shifted it slightly Bear saw a panel on one side with a series of buttons and switches.

 Snart continued, “Let’s get this over with quickly, so I don’t have to ice as many cops. There’s only one badge I’m after.”

 Barry’s eyes narrowed. Bear realized in an instant what was going on. “ _Captain Cold_ thinks he knows who the Flash is?” His voice was an urgent whisper. “Can’t you just make an arrangement with him or something?”

 Barry looked at him like he was crazy. “Captain Cold doesn’t make deals, his top goals in life are women, money, and killing me.” He unconsciously shifted closer to Iris, moving in front of her.

 “Then _do_ something!” Bear’s voice was close to panic.

 “If _I_ do, I confirm his suspicions and lay out my identity for everyone to see.” Barry cast him a meaningful glance, then nodded to a weak point in the perimeter where the gunmen were distracted taking jewelry and wallets. They were a few people away, but they would be robbing the three of them any second now. Bear looked back at Barry and noted that his hands weren’t raised, but rather spread low in a protective gesture in front of Iris. One of Barry’s hands vibrated slightly, drawing Bear’s attention. It was easy to spot the Flash ring on his finger and he instantly realized what Barry wanted him to do.

 In a blink he had taken the ring off Barry’s finger and left the crowd. One of the gunmen felt the wind as he passed and looked around, making sure Barry and Iris hadn’t moved. When he didn’t see anything suspicious the gold bracelet a woman was holding out distracted him.

 Oliver made it to the top of the roof and looked down, trying to locate Captain Cold. All he could see was the center of the square, which at the moment was almost empty. His face screwed up in frustration as he ran to the front of the building. He was already pulling an arrow from his quiver.

 Captain Cold, confident in his plan, now began walking through the crowd. He was heading straight for Barry and Iris. “We only have 54 seconds until more police arrive than I’d like to see. So I’d like to find the Flash. And I’d like to find him right—” without missing a beat, with no warning, he blasted an unsuspecting man standing to his left, several people screamed “now—“ he iced a server, whose tray hit the ground with a clatter “—please.”

 “Dammit,” Oliver hissed as he gave up searching for one man in what crowd he could see and pulled a different arrow from his quiver. He couldn’t see him, but he’d heard the cold gun firing and knew innocent people were getting hurt. He couldn’t give Cold any more time to blast people around him.

 The crowd was full of fear now, pressing back from Cold as he moved through. He stopped directly in front of Barry, who was standing in front of his wife with arms spread wide, unable to move her any further away due to the gunmen holding the line behind them. Barry’s face was fearful and angry at the same time, but he didn’t move. Iris held his shoulders from behind, trying to shield her unborn children. Noting the fearful distress on her face, Cold smiled. “And I think I may have found him.” He leveled his cold gun at Barry’s face. “Let’s see.”

 “Stop!” A new voice echoed across the gathering, and the crowd shifted to find the Flash standing opposite Cold on the other side of the square. His bright red suit stood out in the space lit for the evening festivities, the white emblem practically aglow in the soft light. “You found me.”

 Staring at him, Cold smiled. “I knew it. I knew you were—“ he turned back to Iris and Barry, fully expecting to see Iris standing by herself, only to find Barry still firmly planted in front of her. Cold’s face dropped in astonishment. “But—“ He looked back at the Flash, who just smiled.

 “Looks like your leads ran cold, Captain.” The Flash gave him a smug grin.

 Face filled with disdain, Captain Cold turned to face him completely, two hands raising his gun to aim at the Flash. “I’m the punny one around here.” His finger tightened on the trigger.

 At that moment an arrow landed in the cleared space in the middle of the crowd. A blinking light could be seen for a just a moment before the flash bang grenade on the end detonated. The crowd, including the gunmen, immediately recoiled, hands clutching eyes and ears. Cold took the least damage, protected by his goggles.

 The Flash came flying across the open space and punched Captain Cold square in the chest. Cold reeled backwards, slamming first into a light post and then the ground. The crowd began to split apart as party goers recognized their window and began running in any direction they could, dragging anyone more incapacitated by the grenade along with them.

 The Flash started disarming and gathering up gunmen, leaving them in a groaning pile near the police cars that were just pulling up.

 

* * *

 

 

Over a mile away, Barry was still running with Iris in his arms. In the split second before the flash bang took effect he had grabbed her and hightailed it out of the area, his only concern for his wife and their babies.

 Iris squeezed his shoulder reassuringly. “It’s okay, Barry. We’re fine.” His pace started to slow a bit, but he was still running. “We should go back, Bear might need some help.”

 “He has Oliver.”

 “We need to be seen giving statements, it’ll help avoid suspicion.”

 Her tone was calm and level, helping his thumping heartbeat to slow slightly. He came to an abrupt stop on a deserted corner, letting her down to stand on her own feet. He stared at her for a moment before his hands went to her belly of their own accord. Hers came to rest on top of his. They could both feel the movement inside, echoing his frantic run. Her smile still showed the distress of the danger they’d just left behind, but it still made him feel better. His face started to return to its typical carefree lines, masking the turmoil underneath. He smiled back, and she rewarded it with a quick kiss.

 “We’re okay.” She whispered it into his ear, her arms around his neck.

 He held her tightly for a moment longer. “Okay. We’d better head back then. But we’re looping around first to make sure the danger has passed.”

 She smiled in reply. He picked her back up and started running back the way they’d come, but at a slightly slower speed than before.

 “It’s—oof—been awhile since I—“ he puffed for breath a moment “carried you, dear.”

 Her hand smacked his shoulder. “Barry Allen, don’t you even dare.” He laughed, squeezing her slightly so she’d know he was kidding.

 The couch was already occupied after all, and he didn’t feel like sleeping in the closet.

 

* * *

 

 

Bear had left the crowd, stopping around the corner to shuck his hat and jacket. Then he put the ring on. For a split second he’d wondered how to even open it, but a closer look showed him a small stud on the side. He thumbed it, and the ring opened just as Eobard’s had.

 Out sprang Barry’s costume, shrunk to fit into the ring but growing larger by the millisecond. Bear wasted no time jumping into it. His clothes ended up in a pile under a bush. He stood there, dressed in bright red for the first time.

 “Awesome,” he breathed.

 Oh, he needed one of these.

 It was strange not to hear Cisco or Caitlin in his ear, or even Dr. We—Eobard. He pushed those thoughts away and started running. Otherwise the suit felt the same, though, even if it was just slightly more roomy.

 He had zipped around the block to confront Cold, trying not to panic at the sight of Barry about to be a Popsicle and still trying to protect Iris, who looked to be in imminent danger as well.

 But Oliver had found his better vantage point and chosen the perfect surprise. Bear had hit Cold hard and was gathering up gunmen, noting the arriving police officers, when he realized a second too late that Cold was back on his feet.

 If there was one thing Cold prided himself on, it was adherence to his plan. He’d come to expose and kill the Flash, and that’s what he was going to do. Didn’t matter if one came before the other now, he could be flexible on that point. Cold’s teeth were bared, lips drawn back in a grimace of pain as he stood and hefted his gun in one hand. “Enough. Is. Enough.” He flicked a switch on the side panel, aimed and fired.

 Blue light erupted from his gun, laying out in a widening shape as it went. Bear zipped to one side to avoid it but still got caught in its spread. The second it fell over Bear he felt the bone-chilling cold. It slowed him immediately, smothering his speed in ice-cold temperature. He struggled to push past it and get out of the cold field, but he couldn’t make his legs work. He could feel his teeth starting to chatter, his ears and fingers going numb. His fast metabolism had to be slowing to nothing. He dropped to his knees.

 “Not…liking…this…” he managed, trying to crawl but really only managing to slither a few inches. He was lying on his side now, crumpled in a half-fetal position.

 Cold moved forward, two hands holding his gun and adjusting it so the cold field issuing from it was now centered on the Flash. He thumbed a button on the side, and Bear could feel the temperature drop further around him. He couldn’t move anymore. He was helpless.

 “Stop right there!” Several police officers had gathered on the other side of Bear and had their guns drawn on Cold. Gun still holding the cold field on the Flash, Cold casually checked his watch and then laughed at them from the other side.

 “Go ahead. Try it.”

 The officers quickly looked at one another and then the Flash motionless in the center of the cold field. One decided it was worth a shot (literally) and fired his weapon well over Bear’s prone form, aiming for a shoulder.

 The bullet traveled so fast it wasn’t visible—until it hit the cold field. The bullet froze in place, stopped in its tracks. Captain Cold smirked, still holding the gun on Bear. “Looks like I gave you the cold shoulder, boys.” Bear would have groaned, if he’d been able. He closed his eyes, hearing the officers wonder what to do now. They knew if they tried to approach him he’d just shift the field to include them too. Cold’s voice filtered in. “Just another minute, boys and I’ll have done what I came for. Forty five seconds, actual—“

 His sentence wasn’t even finished when an arrow pierced the shoulder of the main arm holding the gun. Cold cried out and dropped it. It hit the ground and the cold field disappeared instantly. For a second, the sound of the frozen bullet plinking to the ground was all that could be heard. Oliver soundlessly emerged from the shadows behind Cold.

 Then a gruff voice echoed as the Green Arrow addressed Captain Cold. “Oh, brother, Cold. Go to sleep. I can’t handle any more puns.”

 Still on the ground, Bear’s eyes flicked to the arrow sticking out of Captain Cold’s shoulder and recognized a tranquilizer arrow. Cold swayed where he stood and then slowly fell to his knees, then flat on his face as the officers rushed to handcuff him and haul him away.

 Oliver crossed the space to Bear, who was just starting to move again. Bear groaned as he rolled to his back. He was shivering so hard he was on the verge of vibrating uncontrollably and pretty sure he had a bluish hue to what skin was showing. Oliver leaned over him, looking concerned. Bear managed a weak smile. “We need to work on your one liners.”

 Oliver shook his head and smiled. He leaned down to grab Bear’s hand in order to help him to his feet. Bear could feel his metabolism starting to speed up again, but he was still shivering and weak so he allowed Oliver to pull his arm over a shoulder to help hold him up.

 Oliver shifted his bow to give Bear better support and walked him as quickly as possible out of the fundraiser event area before he spoke again. “And I told you, I don’t do one-liners.” Oliver and Bear both looked up in time to see Barry and Iris approaching a good distance away. Iris was smoothing her obviously windblown hair and Barry was scanning the police cars and ambulances, probably making sure Bear wasn’t in one.

 Oliver’s head snapped over to stare at the man he was holding up. “Bear?” His voice was low but truly confused.

 Bear looked back at him, grinning. “Did you think I was Barry? Fooled you with the suit, didn’t I?”

 Oliver shook his head. “Everything happened so fast. I couldn’t see who did what, I was running around on that rooftop trying to get a better view and angle. It could’ve been either one of you running off with Iris or taking on Cold. Both options are exactly what you two would do.”

 “Just glad you were here to help. Thanks.” Bear was starting to feel a bit better, so he pulled away slightly from the support and tried to stand on his own. Barry and Iris got close enough to recognize Oliver and Bear, and after a quick look up and down to make sure they were mostly unhurt, Barry took Iris’ elbow and guided her to the nearest police officer taking statements.

 Oliver shifted to Bear. “We better get out of here, the police appreciate our help but that doesn’t mean they’re going to turn a blind eye to us just standing around.”

 Bear nodded. “Oh, right. We should go then.” They were starting to move away, Bear leaning on Oliver’s shoulder a small fraction, when Bear turned back. “Wait, I left my clothes under a bush around the corner.” He moved to speed over and get them, but realized it was probably not going to happen. “Do you…mind getting them for me? I’ll wait in the shadows over here.”

 Oliver sighed. “Sure.” He left and quickly returned with the clothes bundled under his arm, but now he looked hard-pressed to hold in the grin trying to emerge. He took Bear’s arm and put it over his shoulder again and they walked further away. They were alone on a darker side street when Oliver finally spoke again, and Bear could easily detect the barely contained mirth.

 “Bear, are you…bare? Under there?” Oliver let the grin emerge finally.

 Bear flushed. “I have boxers on!” Oliver just grinned at him, further increasing his embarrassment. “That’s the way _my_ suit is designed! What, you’re telling me Barry puts his on _over_ his clothes?”

 A laugh rumbled out of Oliver, full-bodied and rich. “I don’t know how it works, but yeah he just kind of ejects the suit and jumps into it. _With_ clothes on, I’m pretty sure.”

 Bear groaned. “Please don’t tell Barry. I’ll never hear the end of it. Get me back to his place quick so I can change.”

 Oliver’s laughter echoed down the street.

 

* * *

 

 

After a few more blocks Bear was feeling much improved so he ran the last several to Barry’s apartment to change. Oliver came in the door several minutes later to find Bear wearing his borrowed sweats and pointing the ring at the suit, trying to figure out how to put it back in. Oliver’s lips were still twitching, and he was obviously in a very good mood. Bear gave him a helpless look.

 “Do I just stuff it in there, or…?”

 “I never asked how he does it, but he does just wear it and point.” Oliver crossed his arms and settled in to watch.

 Bear put the ring on and pointed it at the suit where it lay on the couch. He breathed out, preparing, and then summoned the speed in his body, making his eyes crackle with lightning.

 The suit lifted off the couch and sucked into the ring, shrinking as it went. The top flipped closed, and Bear stared at it a moment, mouth gaping. “I need one of these!”

 Oliver nodded. “They are pretty cool.”

 Barry and Iris entered the apartment at that moment. Bear proudly presented the ring back to Barry, but only after giving Oliver a warning look. Oliver hid a smug smile but said nothing.

 Iris moved to hug Bear quickly. “Glad you’re okay, Bear.” She stood back a bit and looked him up and down, checking to make sure he really was okay.

 Barry gave him a once-over too. “Yeah, I got quite a story from the officers I know who were there. Cold got you with some kind of cold field? That’s a new one.”

 “You’ve never dealt with that before?” Bear was a bit surprised.

 Barry just shook his head. “Nope. Must have been why Cold was brave enough to storm the event, he thought he had me. Glad you and Oliver were there to help that could’ve been bad.”

 Bear felt a prickle of unease. “Good thing he’s locked up, then.”

 Barry shrugged. “He doesn’t seem to stay locked up for long. We’ll go at it again, I’m sure. At least I know about it now.” His hand reached for his wife’s. Bear frowned as Barry turned to Oliver.

 “Thanks, Oliver. Good thing the Green Arrow was on watch tonight.”

 Oliver snorted. “I wasn’t on watch I was just relaxing, that’s why I got caught off guard. Glad I was there, though. Can’t let the bad guys win. And I had way more fun than I thought I would.”  

 “I second that,” Bear murmured.

 Oliver was headed out the door when he turned back a moment. “You know, when I came to Central for a bit of a breather I had no idea it was going to be this great. I’m feeling a lot better, so thank all of you for that. This was just what I needed.” He gave them a small smile and shut the door.

 Bear turned to Barry and Iris. “What is that supposed to mean?”

 Barry shrugged again, obviously uncomfortable discussing other people’s problems. “Oliver is having a bit of a rough patch at home, things are on the rocks with Dinah and he’s having trouble remembering why he decided to be the Green Arrow. He came to Central to get a break and think. He’ll work through it.”

 Bear stared at them, his mind clicking away, and then he sat down on the couch. Iris came to sit next to him. “Bear? What’s wrong? Besides the obvious other world problem, I mean.” Barry moved around the couch so he could see Bear more clearly and waited.

 “Cold…tonight. He could’ve killed me. He almost did.”

 Barry stepped closer and sat in a chair opposite Bear. “Are you upset that I didn’t stay to help? I’m really sorry I just wanted to get Iris out of there—“ he cut off abruptly as Bear raised a hand.

 “No, that’s not the problem. I’m glad you got Iris out, that’s what you should’ve done. But…if I hadn’t been there, if Oliver hadn’t been there, just by chance, he could’ve exposed you and killed you.” Bear looked at Barry, trying to see if this realization upset him as much as it did Bear. Barry just nodded, acknowledging the fact. Bear looked at his hands again.

 “I took it easy on him. Even after he shot those people, when I punched him out I took it easy on him, because I didn’t think—I didn’t _believe_ that he would truly kill me.”

 Barry leaned forward in his chair. “Bear, he’s Captain Cold. Why would you think that?”

 “Because—“ Bear stopped a moment, looking for the words. “The Captain Cold in my world has tried to kill me, yeah, and he betrayed me and he’s a bad guy, but he doesn’t seem as _evil_ as yours.” Bear could tell that both Iris and Barry were trying to figure out why this would bother him so much. He put his hands in his lap and looked at one of the couple, then the other. “I think I’ve had this idea in my head that you guys—this world is somehow an easier version of mine, that you haven’t had to suffer like I have. So much in this world is better than mine. And I was…a little jealous.” He looked at his knees while admitting it. “I just didn’t realize things could be so dangerous here too. Or that Oliver could still struggle. Or that it isn’t all sunshine and daisies.”

 Iris put a hand on his arm. “Bear, did you think we were just living a perfect life while you got handed the awful one?” Bear hesitated and then nodded. She inched slightly closer. “No, Bear…nothing is ever sure. Nothing is ever perfect. We struggle here too, and the only thing that helps Barry and I overcome it is that we _choose_ to live. We choose to love each other and live our lives the best we can, in spite of the difficulties.” Iris glanced at her husband who nodded slightly, giving permission. She straightened a bit.

 “Barry’s parents were killed in a car accident four years ago.” Bear looked at Barry in shock. The other shrugged and said nothing. Iris continued.

 “I was an orphan most of my life. I never really had a family until Barry, and now we’re making our own.” Bear just stared at her, images of Joe running through his mind. He didn’t trust himself to speak. Her hand tightened on his arm a fraction before she spoke again, and he knew she was remembering that Joe in his world called him Bear too.

 “We could let tonight ruin us because of what could have happened, what almost happened, or we could put it away and be grateful it happened like it did. We’re all okay. Barry is alive and his identity is safe for now. You could’ve been killed but Oliver was there to help you. We’re all fine. The twins are healthy and safe. And I _choose_ to be happy about that.”

 Bear glanced her way and saw that her eyes were shining with unshed tears. He looked at Barry and while the other said nothing, the look on his face told Bear that he completely agreed with his wife. He nodded slightly to show he understood, and smiled at Iris. She smiled back.

 

* * *

 

 

 The trio headed for bed shortly after that but not before Barry assured Bear that they weren’t giving up on getting Bear home, and they’d try something new tomorrow. Bear acknowledged it with a smile, hugging both Barry and Iris before he went to the bathroom to get ready for sleep. Barry was almost embarrassed but was smiling as he moved to the master bedroom. Bear was starting to feel like a member of the family.

 It was late and the master bedroom was dark when a voice whispered to the other side of the bed.

 “Baaaaarrry,”

 “Mmpphhf,” Barry replied, already mostly asleep.

 “I want ice cream.”

 There was a small groan from where his face was buried into his pillow. “Now? Are you sure?”

 “It’s your fault. You running with me got the twins all revved up, and now they’re keeping me awake. I think they liked it too much. Mint chocolate chip, please.”

 “Okaaay.” Barry moaned as he rolled over and pulled himself off the bed, shrugging into his older, less fuzzy robe and heading to the kitchen.

 He was two steps inside the kitchen when a sound that shouldn’t be there filtered into his perception. It was a rustling, slithering noise coming from the living room. Barry’s head popped back out of the kitchen, instantly awake and on guard.

 “Bear? You awake?”

Silence.

 Cautiously Barry’s hand reached for the light switch just inside the kitchen and flipped it on. Light poured out of the kitchen and into the living room, bathing the furniture in enough light for Barry to see better.

 The sound could still be heard, but it had changed somewhat. Barry could detect a different timbre in the sound and the slithering was gone. He moved carefully to the couch, stopping at the foot and letting his eyes adjust to the dimmer light.

 Then he realized what the sound was.

 It was Bear, and he was vibrating. The slithering sound had been the blankets sliding to the floor. The rustling was Bear vibrating head to toe, so much that he was a blur Barry could hardly make out features on.

 “Bear?” Barry moved to his side and put a hand on his shoulder—but his hand went right through, stopping only when it made contact with the couch. Barry pulled his hand back with a gasp. As he watched, Bear’s body became slightly more solid but continued to vibrate. As it did it became almost perfectly solid and then went back to transparent.

 Barry ran his hands through his hair and watched Bear’s body go back and forth, continuously vibrating the whole time. He was very aware that this was not normal. And though Barry tried, Bear wasn’t waking up.

 Bear was stuck this way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heh, well...it's possible you feel like I just rocked that alternate world all around. Sorry! I've messed with an alternate timeline with Sacrifice, and I really wanted to show an alternate world this time. It just appeared to be a perfect version of Bear's timeline before Eobard messed with it, but it was always part of my plan with this story to reveal it as just as imperfect and difficult as Bear's world. There are differences too, they just sit in the background most of the time. Hope no one feels like I didn't hint at it, because they are there, just extremely subtle. 
> 
> Also, credit goes to crazedtroll on ff.net for the idea of playing with the name Bear and making it "bare". I laughed when I read it in her comment but hadn't thought about it, even though I did want to show the difference between how Bear wears his suit and the fact that Eobard just jumped right into his with clothes on in Rogue Air. (Barry seems to do the same thing in the comics, someone correct me if I'm wrong.) So when the opportunity came around in this chapter it was way too good to resist! :D


	6. Dust to Dust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Iris runs into a known enemy and a brand new one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another giant chapter for you! Hope you enjoy it, thanks for reading!
> 
> As always thanks for all the views, kudos and comments. I swear I'll start answering them soon, I've been a bit distracted lately...

 

Iris was imagining how good mint chocolate chip ice cream was going to taste and wincing at a particularly energetic kick—when suddenly she was in the living room next to the couch. She wobbled slightly, trying to regain her balance, and felt the twins start doing somersaults inside. She wrapped her arms around her abdomen.

 “Barry Allen, there better be a good explanation for this—“

 “Help, Iris I don’t know what’s wrong with him.”

 His words made her stop short and assess the situation. Her eyes grew wide as she took in Bear’s constant vibrating. She watched him waver back and forth between solid and barely there. “Oh my—what’s he doing?”

 Barry threw up his hands helplessly. “I don’t know. It’s like he’s stuck. He won’t wake up.”

 She stared at Bear a moment, thinking hard. “Have you—touched him?”

 “I tried once, but my hand went right through him.”

 Iris moved closer to the couch and waited for Bear’s form to become almost solid. When it did, she hesitantly put out her hand. It made contact. She withdrew quickly before it could start losing solidity again. Barry was behind her watching carefully.

 They both reached the same conclusion at the same time. Barry looked at his wife. “I need to find his frequency and bring him out.” She nodded. He flexed his hands nervously. “Okay, no big deal, first time for everything, I guess. Hope I don’t phase through the floor or anything.”

 They switched positions so Barry could be closest to Bear. Iris hovered in the background. The moment Bear became mostly solid Barry laid a hand on him, closing his eyes in concentration. He pulled his hand back as Bear started to change again, but kept his eyes closed.

 Then Barry started to vibrate too. His kneeling form began to blur and shake, but it took several seconds more before it started to become less solid. Iris watched in suspense. Even the twins had gone quiet.

 After two minutes that felt like hours, Barry’s body began echoing Bear’s constant change. Iris watched Barry’s vibration chase slightly behind Bear’s until finally it caught up and was perfectly in sync. When Barry’s body got more solid, she thought she could see his lips moving through the vibration but couldn’t hear anything.

 Suddenly Bear’s steady fluctuation began slowing down and erratically shifting in fits and starts. He looked like he was shorting out or having static interference. His body looked more like wobbly jello, like a distorted mirror, and then he sat straight up on the couch with a gasp. His body stopped vibrating altogether.

 “—now!” Barry’s voice could suddenly be heard, and he stopped vibrating as well. He sat back, looking weary and exhausted. Iris moved to fill the space he had left, perching on the couch next to Bear, who still looked very confused.

 “You okay, Bear?” Her voice was soft and concerned.

 He gave her a blank look for a moment before he shook his head a bit. “Yeah, I think. What happened?”

 “Not sure, but it looked like you were stuck vibrating through different frequencies.” Barry spoke from the chair he’d moved to. “Were you trying to get home by yourself?”

 “No, I was sleeping! Or I thought I was. I was dreaming, kind of…” Bear’s voice trailed off in confusion. He suddenly realized how sore he felt. He moved to get up, and Iris moved to let him. He groaned getting off the couch. “I’m so sore.”

 Barry sat straight in his chair. “Oh no—You did this last night too. You had to, you were all sore in the morning, and you just didn’t get stuck that time.”

 Both Bear and Iris stared at him in surprise. Bear looked like he wanted to negate it, but he stared at his blankets on the floor and didn’t seem able to. He sat back down. Finally he spoke. “I did wake up in the night, all of a sudden, and my blankets were on the floor.”

 “You were lucky.” Barry’s voice was grim. “You could’ve gotten trapped like that. You could’ve stayed trapped _this_ time.”

 Iris interjected, “So what does this mean?”

 “Well, my degree isn’t exactly in this kind of thing, but I’ve studied enough physics to guess that somehow, your body knows it’s in the wrong frequency and subconsciously it’s trying to find the right one. That’s just a spitball, though.” Barry had a worried look on his face.

 Bear had to agree. “That does sound about right.”

 “I’m afraid to let you sleep now.” Barry pointed at Bear. “Also, a question: When I was trying to get you out, did you see the other guy that was there?”

 Again, Bear and Iris stared at him.

 “What other guy?”

 

* * *

 

## Central City

****

Cisco hadn’t had a great night’s sleep since the singularity. Probably before that, really considering he’d been having dreams of Dr. Wells crushing his heart with a vibrating hand. He usually had trouble falling asleep anyway; lying still just invited his brain to start thinking about possible inventions and theories.

 But it had been so much worse since the day Barry time traveled on purpose. The singularity had wrought death and destruction. Barry was gone, and they had no idea what had happened. Eddie had killed himself, and Cisco had been front and center to watch Eobard Thawne dissolve into nothing.

 It was the kind of thing nightmares were made of, really.

 Everything had become so much harder after that day. With Ronnie and Caitlin married and spending so much time together, Cisco found himself lonely without Barry around. The fact that his ex-mentor-turned-betrayer was also gone made it worse. Martin Stein had decided to stick around a little, and Cisco hung out with him at S.T.A.R. Labs a fair amount but their relationship wasn’t nearly as comfortable or easy.

 Cisco ended up spending much of his time in his workshop, messing with tech and trying different things. But even that was difficult, since many of his ongoing projects had been ways to help Barry be the Flash or improve his suit.

 And to top it off, Cisco had inadvertently made Iris feel even worse about everything. Great. He felt like the kind of friend nobody needed.

 He realized how bad things were getting one day when he pushed aside his barely sipped icee and decided he’d eaten enough candy.

 So Cisco was used to dreaming about certain traumatic events that had happened recently. Much as he did not want to admit it, he had been truly disturbed to watch Eobard Thawne be erased from existence. It was just as disturbing as seeing the Reverse Flash, skipping and wavering like a bad computer image, turn to him and ask for help. What should he have done? Cisco couldn’t think of anything. Should he have? Eobard had just threatened to kill anyone Barry cared about, and Cisco was sure he was on the list. But reconciling the two very different pictures he had of this same man was very difficult. Somehow the same one who had told him he cared for him as a son was the one who had also killed him in an aborted timeline. The same man who watched movies and ate popcorn with him, gave him advice on his personal and professional life, persuaded him to stay when he’d thought of leaving was the same murderer who killed Nora, manipulated and spied on all of them, and ultimately proved he was only out for himself.

 Cisco told himself he shouldn’t feel sadness that the maniac was gone, but it didn’t stop him missing Dr. Wells. Even if he didn’t want to admit it.

 Tonight Cisco’s brain had oh-so-helpfully supplied the memory of the gunshot in the particle accelerator, as Cisco lay on the ground realizing Barry hadn’t changed anything, that he was fighting the Reverse Flash and the wormhole was in danger of destabilizing. He’d barely registered what Eobard had said before the shot rang out. Cisco had watched Eobard flicker and step back. Had he been shot? But Joe was right next to him and didn’t have his gun out…Joe’s screaming had told Cisco what had really happened.

 “Eddie! What did you do?” The voice flickered and distorted. “What are you doing?”

 Eobard turned to Cisco, flickering in and out, flashing between yellow and red. “Cisco, help me.” It was Eobard’s voice, but then suddenly it was Barry’s, sounding warbled like he was disguising it. “Help me, Cisco.” Barry was standing in front of him, flickering and shorting out, not entirely there. Cisco just stood still, helpless. Eobard was being erased; Eddie was dying as Iris screamed. He couldn’t do anything. “Help me, Cisco.”

 The wormhole reopened, turning into a singularity and crashing through the roof as it rose. Barry climbed in through the hole and dropped to the ground, running to Eobard and grabbing him by the shoulders. But Barry was behind him, wasn’t he? He could hear him talking to Iris.

 “Iris, we have to go…”

 “I’m not leaving him…”

 “We have to go, now! You can’t do this. You’re stuck. Bear you need to stop this, right now—“

Cisco sat straight up in bed, gasping for air.

“What. The. Frack.”

 Sometimes he hated his brain.

 

* * *

 

 

Iris punched in her cell phone account password for the second time, jabbing the keys harder than she should. Changing her address on everything was always a pain, but this time it was awful in so many ways.

 She had found her own apartment, far away and in a different neighborhood than her and Eddie’s. The manager had been kind enough to let her out of the lease, since Eddie’s name was the one officially on it. Joe had helped her move, and she had felt bad leaving him alone in his house without Barry, but she just couldn’t live there either. Joe had looked upset while moving her but refused to say anything. She couldn’t decide if it was his standard silent treatment of disapproval or something else.

 She pushed her hair behind her shoulders and focused on the new story that had rolled in. A murder with strange circumstances. It took some pushing of herself to get moving again, but she made note of the address and headed there, trying not to think about the fact that if Barry were here maybe she could get some better info on the manner of death.

 

 

 An old brick building with eight stories stood tall in a neighborhood of older architecture. Iris made her way to the fifth floor and down the hallway to the correct apartment. The police had already been there and taken the body and any evidence. Iris was glad; she didn’t really want to see anyone from the police force right now. Iris could see the police tape crossed over the doorway. The door was locked, but she took note of the way a layer of the door seemed to be missing. A long gouge was stripped out of the main body of the door, slightly higher than eye level for Iris. She hesitated then laid a finger on it, having decided the police would have already taken swabs or any other kind of evidence from it to test. That normally would be Barry’s job…

 The stray thought made her straighten up. Her hand immediately went into her pocket. Her fingers brushed the metal piece, still always kept nearby and ready for moments like these. She gripped it in her palm and felt the jagged edge press in just enough so she could feel it, distracting her from her suddenly ragged breathing. She bit her bottom lip, holding in any sound that wanted to escape. She let a few minutes pass, and then finally let go of it and pulled her hand out. She took a deep breath and realized she was being watched.

 A door to her right had opened about two doors down. Warm brown eyes peeped through the crack at her. She guessed the kid was maybe 10 or 11 years old. She put on a smile and approached.

 “Um, hi there, my name is Iris. I work for Central City Picture News.”

 Her friendly tone seemed to put the boy at ease, because the door opened a fraction more. He had a mass of silky brown hair. “Hi. You look upset.”

 She opened her mouth to deny it, and then nodded. “Yeah, I guess I am. Are your parents home?”

 There was a slight hesitation. “No.”

 She nodded. “I see. You know when I was your age my dad told me never to open the door if he wasn’t home. Are you going to get in trouble?”

 The brown eyes flickered slightly. “There was a lot of noise out here.”

 Iris could tell an excuse when she heard one. She’d given enough to her father over the years, and Barry had been full of them.

 So she nodded a bit, trying to stay friendly. “There were a lot of police officers here, coming in and out. That’s probably what you heard.”

 “Oh.” She could tell police hadn’t been the first thing the boy had suspected. “I didn’t answer when someone knocked. I thought it might be him.”

 That got her attention. “Him?”

 “The guy who—hurt Mr. Willis.”

 A distant sound made Iris straighten up quickly and look back and forth in the hallway. It seemed to be empty. She moved closer to the door, but she must have done it fast because he shifted the door a bit, making the crack much smaller. Iris stared into it, bending over to meet the brown eyes. “Did you see who hurt Mr. Willis?” Her voice was just above a whisper.

 The door wiggled a bit, like he almost shut it in her face. “I don’t know.” Iris waited, and the silence proved to be too much for the boy. “I heard shouting, so I opened it just a crack to see what was happening. I didn’t keep it open for long.” There was almost a pleading tone to it, like he was hoping that small detail would keep him out of trouble.

 “Did you see who it was?” Iris held her breath.

 “No…” There was a small pause. “But I saw his back. And I saw what he did to the door.”

 “What did he do to the door?” Iris tried to reign in her intensity, it looked like it was scaring the kid.

 “He—shot lasers out of his eyes.” The brown eyes looked down, as if afraid she wouldn’t believe him.

 “What color were they?”

 The boy’s eyes snapped back up to hers. “They were black.”

 “Black lasers? Interesting. And what happened to the door?”

 The boy looked amazed she was still talking to him. “The door parts, they just…flew away.”

 Iris was aware her eyebrows were into her hairline, but it wasn’t like she hadn’t heard stranger things. “How did they fly away?”

 “They were dusty.”

 “They were dust?!” Iris realized her voice had raised and lowered it.

 “Yeah. Then he pushed the door open and went inside. There was yelling. I closed the door.”

 Iris nodded, keeping her face friendly. Mr. Willis had opened the door to someone. There had been shouting, and when Mr. Willis had tried to close the door the murderer had somehow turned part of the door into dust. That must have scared Mr. Willis away from it, and allowed him time to push the door open and gain entry. She kept her voice lowered as she got closer to the door again. This time it didn’t wiggle. “Did you see who it was?”

 “I—I don’t know.” His tone was cautious, scared.

 Iris nodded. “Okay. Well, if you remember anything, or if you want to talk to me you can call me at this number.” She slipped her card through the door and was glad when he actually took it instead of letting it fall to the floor. “Maybe you keep this door closed from now on? Just in case.” The brunette nodded. “Maybe you tell your parents?” This time there wasn’t a reply. She sighed. She was pretty sure she wouldn’t have wanted to tell her father she’d disobeyed the rules either. “Be careful, okay?”

 “’Kay.” She waited, smiling, until she heard the door click shut.

 Then she headed for S.T.A.R. Labs.

 

* * *

 

It was strange, walking into the main cortex. She hadn’t been back since the day of Eddie’s funeral. There just didn’t seem to be a reason to be here anymore. She turned the corner and caught sight of Caitlin first, leaning back against a desk and smiling gently at her husband as they chatted. Iris scanned the rest of the room quickly and found her father talking with Cisco in front of a computer, and Martin Stein standing in a corner talking on the phone. There was a stark lack of Barry’s presence. She even noticed that the small area here his suit was usually stored was closed off. For a moment she stood there. It felt like she was on the outside of a bubble looking in.

 Joe noticed her first, cutting off his conversation with Cisco to come her way. “Baby, I didn’t know you were coming.” He gave her a quick hug that she accepted.

 “I didn’t either. Just found myself here, I guess.” She gave a fleeting smile. Everyone else in the room seemed afraid to come near her; as if she were a bomb they might set off somehow.  

 Everyone except Martin Stein, who was just pocketing his phone as he too crossed over to greet her. “Ms. West. Glad to see you come by. You’ve been missed.” His eyes peered at her from behind his glasses.

 “Thanks.” She looked around, and the silence began to get awkward. She turned to her father. “So, Dad, are you here about that murder earlier today? Mr. Willis?”

 “Well, actually, yeah.” Joe gave her an astute look. “How did you hear about it?”

 “A tip filtered into CCPN. Was there something strange about the murder? Unusual?”

 “Yeah,” Joe ran a hand over his chin. “I was just discussing it with Cisco, actually. Looked very metahuman. Part of the guy’s chest was just…um…gone.”

 “Gone as in taken?” She tried to hide her interest, but her father knew her too well.

 “Gone as in poof, disappeared.” Cisco put in from next to her father. “As in the guy’s chest wall and heart, gone. Not even a whole lot of blood, just—not there. Sounds kind of cool, but kinda gross.”

 “What if, this guy could, say, turn things into dust, or atoms?” Iris was giving it her all to look innocent, but Joe’s eyes still narrowed suspiciously. But he still looked to Martin and Cisco as they pondered it.

 Martin’s brow was furrowed in thought. “Maybe, if he had some kind of metahuman ability to pull apart matter and separate it into its lowest form, particles or atoms, then I suppose that would fit what you told us about the victim, Joe.”

 Cisco was nodding. “We have seen some weird stuff. But yeah, if a metahuman can do that it’s bad. So he would have just…scooped out this guy’s heart and unraveled it? How do you do that? Plus, that’s gross.”

 Iris nodded in agreement, then realized her father was staring at her. “What?”

 “Is there anything you know about this that you should share?”

 It was clear Joe thought she did. And part of her knew that a possible witness could be very valuable in a case like this. Part of her felt she should volunteer what she had learned. But a deeper part of her, the part that had shut down and pulled in after the singularity, didn’t want to offer anything and didn’t want to open up. She met her father’s eyes directly. “No, I was just asking.”

 Joe looked like he might not let go of the matter so easily, but the following silence allowed the entire group to become aware of the sound that had been quietly pinging in the background.

 “What’s that?” Martin was looking around in confusion.

 Cisco moved to a monitor. “It’s an alert. The police were just dispatched to an armored car heist. Everything’s been so quiet since—“ he glanced at Iris “—that, I didn’t realize it was still on.” Cisco glanced up. “This is the sort of thing we’d normally send Barry to handle.”

 The silence that followed was heavy as the group absorbed that. Finally, after several seconds, Ronnie stepped forward. He looked at Martin and raised his eyebrows, clearly asking a question.

 Martin’s own eyebrows shot up in surprise. He stepped to Ronnie. “Oh, what the hell, someone call my wife and tell her I’ll be a little late.” He and Ronnie moved closer together. “Never thought my education would land me in a nest of vigilante activity.”

 Cisco handed over a small earpiece. “I have no idea if it’ll withstand the heat you produce, but we might as well try it.”

 Ronnie accepted the earpiece with a smile. The two men headed outside to merge together, since they could fly immediately that way.

 Caitlin, looking nervous, headed to a side room to busy herself, but Joe followed her in. Cisco went to a monitor to see if he could communicate with Firestorm at all. Iris sat in a nearby chair, wondering if she should leave.

 Cisco peeped at her from the console as he punched buttons and entered codes. Iris waited. Finally Cisco found the courage to speak up. “Iris, I’m so sorry about what I said the last time you were here. I didn’t mean to upset you—“

 “It’s okay, Cisco. It was just a nasty surprise.” She gave him a small smile.

 He leaned over the console. “Good. Because seriously, we don’t know anything about anything anymore. There’s no proof anything is going to happen now.”

 Iris nodded, really not wanting to discuss it. “Yeah. Anyway, it doesn’t seem to matter anymore.”

 Cisco hesitated a moment, as if he were unsure what she truly meant by that. The console beeped at him and drew his attention. “Well, here we go—oh. Yeah, it burned out immediately. I’m going to have to work on that.”

 Firestorm returned roughly twenty minutes later, back in Martin and Ronnie form but very frustrated versions of each.

 “What happened?” Joe was the first to ask.

 Ronnie looked reluctant to answer, but he finally did as he put an arm around Caitlin. “Well, the earpiece burnt out immediately—“

 “Yeah, I noticed that.” Cisco gave them a slightly abashed smile.

 “—and it was Captain Cold and his gang.”

 Joe ran a hand down his face. “Oh, great. What did they get?”

 Martin spoke up, “Well, that was the strange part. They seemed to be waiting, but they were surprised when we showed up. Though I do think we may have inspired some affection bordering on obsession in one of their team, the big guy with the flame gun?”

 “Mick Rory. He calls himself Heatwave now.” Cisco filled in, as Caitlin gave a shudder. Ronnie’s arm tightened around her.

 “He shouted something about ‘this being even better’. Captain Cold didn’t seem to agree.” Martin had a thin-lipped smile on his face, indicating he was less than impressed with their new fan.

 “He was looking for Barry,” Joe’s voice was low and serious. The others nodded in agreement. Iris hadn’t moved from her chair.

 “Was Li—the sister there? With the gold gun?” Cisco looked back at the others staring at him. “What? I was just wondering.”

 “Yes, she was there too. The whole thing seemed to be a set-up to see if the Flash would show. They left pretty quick once we got there, didn’t take anything.” Ronnie finished.

 “That might have been because the armored truck exploded right next to them,” Martin’s thin-lipped smile hadn’t gone anywhere. Joe winced just thinking about it.

 Ronnie rolled his eyes. “I was aiming at the ground in front of them. Barry just makes fighting crime look so easy.” Caitlin patted her husband’s shoulder in consolation. “At least the guards weren’t in it, they’re okay. We’ll practice a bit.”

 The others nodded in agreement, but no one could quite say what they were all thinking.

 It just wasn’t the same without the Flash around.

 

* * *

 

It was late and Iris knew she shouldn’t be walking home by herself in the dark, but she couldn’t quite get up enough motivation to do anything different. Her parking garage was a bit further away from her apartment building than she’d like. Her new manager had promised her one of the close parking spots would open up in about a month, but until then she was walking. In the dark. It felt very appropriate.

 Until the sound of a bottle shifting in the alley next to her brought her around quickly, smothering the gasp on her lips so she wouldn’t seem so surprised. She stopped and peered into the darkness, searching for the cause of the noise. Probably a cat or something.

 Or a Cold. Captain Cold emerged from the shadows, stopping a good twenty feet away from her. He was still wearing his fur-lined parka and goggles, the cold gun dangling at his side. He looked cool and collected, and annoying. It was obvious he was here to see her. Her fingers tightened on her shoulder bag.

 “Ms. West,” he tilted his head slightly in greeting.

 “Snart.” Her voice cut across the empty space.

 He let out a mild laugh, removing his goggles with the hand not holding his gun. “Well, if I didn’t know whose kid you were, I’d still know whose kid you were. How’s Detective West?”

 “What do you want?” She was not in the mood to exchange pleasantries with this man. Not after all the stories she’d heard about him. Her hostility was practically radiating off her.

 Surprisingly, it seemed to thaw him a bit. He tapped his gun on his thigh before responding and gazed at the ground a moment before he looked up.

 “So, he’s really gone, huh? “

 She knew exactly who he was referring to. And there didn’t seem to be any use denying it, not after earlier this evening.  

 “Looks like it.” She stared daggers at him, because she knew this would just mean Cold and his crew would start robbing the city blind without the Flash to hinder him.

 Or maybe she didn’t know it. For a moment he almost seemed let down with the answer she’d given him. He looked at the ground again, frowning. Eventually he spoke, choosing his words carefully and tapping his cold gun on one of his boots. “He was always fun to fight with, you know? Helped me keep my game up.”

 Iris simply couldn’t stop the snort of disgust that emerged it was so heartfelt. That anyone was walking around viewing crime as a _game_ , while people like Barry and Eddie were gone because they believed in saving people…it was too much.

 Cold’s eyebrow rose on his impassive face. “Is that disapproval I hear?”

 “Tons of it.” She had to focus to keep her voice from shaking, and it was anger not fear. “The Flash is gone because he believed it was worth the sacrifice to risk himself for the city. My boyfriend died saving me. But you just think it’s all fun.” She spat the last word as if it had a bad taste. At this point she didn’t even care if he shot her with his cold gun, someone had to say it.

 Cold’s face went arctic, all emotion closed behind a glacial front. His voice was dry and sarcastic. “We can’t all have a _good_ cop for a father, you know.”

 “That’s no excuse.” Iris turned her back on him and walked into her building; half-sure she was going to feel an icy blast on her back any moment. Once she made it inside the building she realized how much she was trembling.

 

* * *

 

  After a restless night of frustrated sleep, Iris spent the next day at her desk sifting through her blog and any other reports looking for sightings of a man with black laser eyes. Not what she thought she’d be doing a few days ago. It was strange to her that new metahumans were still popping up a year after the accelerator explosion. Did their powers remain dormant until they were given a jump-start? Did they just take longer to manifest themselves? Were they better at hiding it, staying under the radar longer until they were finally noticed? Though the police would have noticed if anyone else had died with a giant hole in their chest, she was pretty sure.

 Her confrontation with Captain Cold the night before also ate at her. It was infuriating to know that someone like him was out committing crimes and lamenting the loss of a hero only because it meant less fun and games for him. It made her feel sick to know that Eddie had sacrificed himself, that his goodness was gone from the world while others remained to fill it with pain and fear. She’d laid in her bed half the night forming more angry words she wished she could say to him.

 She was packing up to go home for the night when her cell phone rang with a number she didn’t recognize. She answered it with a cautious “Hello?”

 There was a beat of silence, then—“Is this Iris?”

 “Yes, who’s this?”

 “I’m Jacob.” She thought a moment, still coming up empty. “I looked through the door.”

 “Oh!” She hadn’t even realized she never asked his name. “Jacob, thank you for calling me. Did you remember something else?” Iris was already grabbing her bag and heading for the door.

 “I—yes. Can you come over?”

 “Sure, I’ll be right there.”

 It took her less than ten minutes to get to Jacob’s apartment building. She climbed the stairs in a rush and then moved past the gouged door that still had caution tape over it, counting to make sure she had the right one. She tapped on the door lightly. “Jacob? It’s Iris.”

 The door opened its usual crack. Iris leaned down to smile at him, expecting to talk through the door again, but once Jacob had assured himself it was really her he opened the door all the way and grabbed her hand. She allowed herself to be pulled into the apartment and watched as he shut the door and locked the deadbolt.

 “Jacob, are your parents here?” She looked around and couldn’t see anyone.

 “They’ll be home soon.” Jacob’s eyes flitted to the door. He looked nervous and scared.

 Iris got lower to meet his eyes. “What’s wrong?”

 His eyes filled with tears. “I know who did it. I saw his jacket today, he was getting mail in the lobby.”

 So the killer was a tenant as well. Iris took that in with as calm a face as she could manage. “And what did you do?”

 “I—I tried not to show I was scared, but I couldn’t help it, and he looked at me so I came up here and just when I was about to go inside I saw him down the hallway following me. He knows where I live now.” Jacob was practically sobbing his words, and Iris reached for his shoulders to comfort him, all the while keeping her face as blank as possible.

 “He saw you come in here?” She looked around quickly. No lights were on and the apartment was bathed in soft light from outside sources. Jacob had been trying to hide.

 “Y—yes, and then I called you.”

 Iris could feel the lead weight in her gut now, that feeling that things were about to be very wrong. She held Jacob tight and was deciding whether they should call for help or leave first when the decision was taken from her. A soft rushing sound caught her ears amidst Jacob’s soft hiccupping sobs, and when she looked at the front door she already knew what she was going to see.

 The doorknob was dissolving, turning to sandy particles of dust that blackened and floated away.

 He was here.

 “Get out.” Her voice was soft but firm as she grabbed Jacob’s arm and led him down the hallway, looking for the nearest window she could see with an old fire escape on the outside. It was behind the couch, and luckily Jacob’s parents must open it regularly in hot weather because once she flipped the lock it slid up easily. She grabbed Jacob and pushed him through as she heard the front door open quietly, bouncing on the doorstop. He thought he was going to take them by surprise.

 Jacob was standing on the metal grating, terrified into silence and it was clear he had no idea how to lower the fire escape. They didn’t have time even if it did work. She grabbed the window and slid through it, standing up just as a figure moved into the living room and spotted them.

 “Go!” Iris shoved Jacob to the stairs heading up to the roof. The window started to ripple as she moved, melting and flowing into black dusty particles that blew out into the night air. Jacob was light and quick as he scrambled up to the next level and the level after that. Iris was rapidly following. She could hear the man behind them as he made it out onto the fire escape. He was directly under the stairs they were climbing now.

 “Don’t stop until you reach the roof, Jacob, go!” Her voice spurred him on even faster, even as two of the stairs began to sag and shift under her feet. They fell into dust as she pushed off them onto the next level. She could hear their pursuer lunging up the stairs after them, skipping the ones he had ruined. One more flight to the roof, and then she wasn’t even sure where to go after that.

 By now Jacob had reached the ladder leading to the roof. He scrambled to the top and turned back, waiting for her. Her hands were reaching for it, halfway grabbed onto the bottom rungs when the top one next to Jacob dissolved and fell apart. She felt more than heard her short scream as she fell several feet to the fire escape on the top floor, barely avoiding a serious head wound from the leftover ladder rungs as they clattered down on top of her. She felt a dull pain in one forearm as they hit.

 She pulled her arms down from their protective position over her head and sat up quickly, realizing she was trapped. It was too far to reach the roof without the ladder, which was now lying useless next to her. There was an apartment window next to her, but she highly doubted it was unlocked. And there was a murderous metahuman coming up the stairs. He’d only paused long enough to ruin the ladder and block their escape. She wondered if he’d been aiming for the boy instead.

 “Iris!” Jacob was leaning down, trying to stretch his shorter arms down to her, but it was no use. He would never reach her. He moved to jump down to her.

 “No! Go, Jacob, run. Don’t wait!” Jacob froze where he was, eyes pleading with her, but she gave him her father’s best threatening look. She was using moments she didn’t feel she had. “Go.” Jacob’s face crumpled, but he scrambled to his feet again and ran.

 Iris sat on the fire escape and tried to fight hopelessness.

 The shadowy figure of the metahuman was just appearing at the bottom of the stairs below her. She was almost in his line of sight. So she did the one thing she could think of: She pulled off her heavy heeled shoe and chucked it down the stairs.

 It was probably sheer luck, but it hit him square in the face as he came around. She could hear the grunt of pain and see him grab at his nose, covering his eyes too. Desperate, she tried to slide the window up. It was locked. She grabbed the leftover ladder rungs and swung them right at it, shattering the window and clearing a passage.

 He was still staggering up the stairs, clutching his face as she broke enough window out to clamber inside a dark apartment living room. No one was home. He was moments behind her as she picked herself up and darted to the hallway on the left, hobbling slightly now in just one shoe. Maybe she could get out the front door. At least he wasn’t following Jacob.

 But this apartment wasn’t like Jacob’s. Where the left hallway had led to the front door in the lower apartment, there was now a dead end with three doors, probably a bathroom and two bedrooms. She was halfway down it in the semi-darkness before she realized it and came to a screeching halt. She stared at the end of the hallway; hearing and feeling him come up behind her but still in the living room.

 She turned around. She didn’t expect any help, and she didn’t have any hope. There were no heroes left anymore. Both of hers were gone. She faced him alone.

 He moved into the hallway. She had hurt him with her shoe and he was angry. Blood was dribbling down his face from his nose, running over his mouth. He was breathing heavy, almost panting with rage.

 Iris looked at him. She realized she was still clutching her shoulder bag, even after the frantic run up the fire escape. She was breathing hard too, in half-sobbing gasps, but she stood straight and tall as she faced him. She looked weary and tired. She shifted her fists, clenched over her bag strap, away from her chest leaving her heart exposed. Her eyes never left him.

 “Go ahead. There’s nothing left anyway.”

 He looked at her and narrowed his eyes. When the black beams shot out, she fell to the floor.

 

* * *

 

Joe was starting to hate coming to the police station, which wasn’t a good thing considering that was his job. But every time he saw Captain Singh now the man always had the same question in his eyes.

 Anything?

 And Joe always had to answer no.

 The whole feeling was a bit too familiar, too much like Barry’s coma where Joe showed up to work each day without Barry or Chyre. Eddie had helped fill that void, and now he was gone too.

 He sat at his desk, ignoring the empty one opposite him. It was habit by now. He’d just paid a somber visit to Henry in Iron Heights. The man was suffering, waiting for word just like everyone else. But there was no word. He didn’t see how things could get any worse.

 “Joe?” Captain Singh had a look in his eye. Maybe he was wrong about that.

 He was no sooner inside Singh’s office than the man closed the door again and crossed his arms.

 “So, what’s this I hear about some guy on _fire_ blowing up an armored truck last night? Do you know anything about this?’ The look he leveled at Joe said he was betting Joe did.

 Joe shifted nervously. “Captain Cold and his gang were robbing it.”

 “The truck was on fire, Joe. And from what I hear, it wasn’t the work of Heatwave.”

 Joe couldn’t deny that little detail. “Th—he’s just trying to help. He needs—polishing. I’ll mention it.”

 “Well, I guess they can’t all have super speed, sadly. Please tell him not to blow things up any more.” Singh passed a hand over his face, and Joe could only imagine the stressors piling up with Singh’s job. Singh had a sudden thought. “He’s not secretly your nephew, or something is he?”

 Joe laughed. It sounded rusty. “No. Nooo, no relation at all. I swear.” Singh nodded. “Soo, is that all?” Joe was counting his blessings he’d got off so light.

 “No, actually I also wanted to tell you that you have a new partner coming in tomorrow. Another transfer from Keystone.” Singh carefully evaluated Joe’s expression. “I’m sorry you have to deal with a new partner again so soon. But you are the best detective to train a newbie. Just—take care of this one, best you can, okay? Don’t let them run into a bullet or a giant black hole. I’m sick of losing good detectives.”

 “Right.” Joe let himself out just in time to see one of the 911 dispatchers from the floor below standing by his desk. She made a beeline for him once she saw him, her face serious.

 “Joe, I just picked up a call and dispatched some officers.”

 “Okay…” he was a bit confused since that would be a usual thing in her job.

 “No, but, the call—it’s Iris.”

 Joe felt his world fall away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SO SORRY 
> 
> Seriously. I hate cliffhangers myself, and I have never done two in a row like this. I even spent time deliberating on whether I should change it. But it works best this way. I swear I'll get the next chapter out as fast as possible so you aren't hanging a horrible amount of time. Hang in there! Sorry!


	7. Crack in the Wall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Iris gets a glimpse of the light at the end of the tunnel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, and the cliffhanger! Hope everyone survived it.  
> I'm busy trying to get ahead in my writing but there always seems to be a distraction...ah well.  
> Thanks for all the support, kudos and comments! You guys are the best! *hugs*  
> Thanks for reading, hope you enjoy it! :)

 

_**Central City**_

 

Even during the hardest of times, Iris had never truly wished to die. Not when she lost her mother, not when Barry was struck by lightning. Not even now, when it felt like she had lost too much to recover from. In the end, no matter how bad things got, Iris found she always had a burning desire inside her to live.

 But there were times when the pain was too much. Like going to Jitters now, which was a place she avoided like the plague. Or the quick moment when she had packed up the bathroom at her and Eddie’s apartment to move, and quickly emptied a certain drawer into a box without looking at the contents. Or the time she had thought she saw Eddie down the block in a crowd of people. Shredding two thousand return labels that she had never used even once because just throwing them away wasn’t enough. Those were the moments when guilt, anger and despair made her feel so hopeless, like it would never get any better.

 Part of her acknowledged the desire for a break, for the pain to just stop even if it was for a short while. Part of her ached to rest, to simply close the book on this time and come back to it when she could truly handle it, if she ever could. Usually she ignored it and pushed through. It was all she could do right now. Day by day. Moment by moment. It became the wall she held in place to keep those emotions at bay. Just keep going.

"Go ahead. There's nothing left anyway."

 When Iris faced a metahuman killer in the hallway of a strange apartment, she dropped that wall entirely. She let him see it all. That was partly why the metahuman truly believed that she had given up, that she was resigned to losing. It seemed so real because it _was_ so real.

 It just spurred him on, angry as he was. His nose was still smarting, and his pursuit of her had only increased his desire to take care of her once and for all. Then he’d go find the boy. His own anger and pain led him to put extra power into this blow, he so desired to see her unraveling into atoms.

 So when he narrowed his eyes and focused on her, he took an extra moment to inhale and increase his ability. He was careful and deliberate, believing that she had no choice but to just wait for it.

 And that was what enabled Iris to fall to the floor the moment before the black beams emerged. She didn’t kneel or duck, she fell. Flat onto the floor with her hands over her head. The metahuman was already in the moment and firing by the time he realized what was happening. The lasers overshot her.

 And the beams bounced back at him, reflecting off the full-length mirror mounted on the bathroom door behind her. They hit him full in the face. There was a sizzling crackle of sound, and then he hit the floor too. Whispy clouds of black particles rose up, quickly dissipating into nothing as the night breeze rolled in through the broken window.

 Still breathing in shuddering gasps, Iris looked up. She didn’t really want to look at his face so she peeked at his chest. There was no movement. It took her a moment to regroup, everything had happened so fast.

 The darkness of the hallway had ultimately been her savior, hiding the mirror in the gloom behind her. She had stared at it for just a moment as he approached behind her, and a plan born of sheer desperation had emerged. She had turned to keep his attention on her, stood straight and tall to block it, kept her hands clutching her handbag instead of raising them in the air so the movement wouldn’t be caught in the mirror. She had watched him intently, hoping she could be fast enough and that maybe, just maybe it would work.

 She couldn’t believe it actually had. That familiar burn to live just got more intense as she remembered Jacob.

 She scrambled to her feet, ditching her other shoe. She rushed to the front door to unlock it and head up to the roof.

 It was clear that the door to the roof was locked from the outside and that no one had been through it recently. She pushed open its heavy weight, shifting the cinder block on the other side to hold it open as it was obviously meant to.

 The roof was quiet and dark. She anxiously scanned it for movement.

 “Jacob?” Her voice echoed slightly in the night. “Jacob!”

 A small shape shifted slightly behind an old chimney, then it raced her way and hit her like a cannon ball as Jacob wrapped his arms around her midsection tightly and refused to let go. She returned his hug with her own. Jacob was sobbing uncontrollably now, and it was clear that he’d been trying to suppress them as he hid with no idea of what was happening below, and no escape from the roof. It was several minutes before she could convince Jacob to let go enough for her to dig in her bag and pull out her phone to dial 911.

 

* * *

 

 

 Jacob still hadn’t let go of Iris later, as the police took care of the metahuman’s remains and took statements from both of them. Other officers were upstairs dealing with the couple whose window Iris had broken out in the upstairs apartment. Iris had already apologized profusely and offered to help pay for the window. The couple had been quite gracious under the circumstances, considering they came home to find shattered glass and a dead metahuman in their home, not to mention the broken window.

 Iris dealt with all of it fairly well. Even now she was sitting on the couch, feeling similar to the numbness she had felt after the singularity had closed. She was glad of it, it was far better than feeling.

 Jacob’s parents had arrived shortly after the police had, and had been understandably horrified and upset to hear the whole story. The metahuman had lived directly beneath Mr. Willis, and they had argued for years about the “noise” Mr. Willis was causing above. Things had obviously escalated to murder.

 But what truly horrified Jacob’s parents was the knowledge that not only was their son a witness in a murder, he had been targeted by that same murderer as well. Once the tears and shouting had died down, both had hugged their son tightly and decided that things needed to be different. Jacob was no longer going to be at home alone after school those few hours, and some serious education about communication with parents was needed.

 Both expressed their thanks to Iris for her quick-thinking protection of their son. Jacob had finally let go of Iris but was still sitting next to her. Iris noticed his mother giving him glances and realized the woman wasn’t sure how to proceed with her son. The empty window behind them was making the room chilly, someone was going to need to cover it up until it could be replaced.

 “Ms. West?” An officer had just entered the living room, Iris looked up from Jacob. “Your father is downstairs.”

 Iris could tell by the look on the man’s face that Joe was probably demanding to come upstairs, and they were hoping she’d go down to him. She nodded. “Well, if I’m not needed here anymore I should go talk to my father. No need to subject you to another parent-child conflict tonight.” She gave them a small smile.

 Jacob’s father was staring at her. “Wait…Iris West? You’re _the_ Iris West, the one who writes about the Flash, right?”

 “Oh, yeah, that’s me.”

 Jacob’s head shifted to look up at her with awestruck wonder. “Do you know him?” He looked boggled at the idea, the events of the past few hours suddenly farther back in his mind. Iris couldn’t help smiling.

 “I’ve…seen him a few times.” She gave him a sly wink. Jacob’s mouth was wide open as he bestowed a reverent look on her.

 Jacob’s dad looked more serious. “Any…word after that—“his eyes flickered to Jacob, then back to her “—day?”

 Her smile faded slightly. “No. Not yet.” Jacob’s parent both nodded, slightly subdued to hear that. Iris gave Jacob a final hug and stood up, offering her place to Jacob’s mother. The other woman quickly filled it, wrapping an arm around her son. Iris was glad to see him melt into his mother’s side and return the embrace. They were saying their goodbyes when a disturbance near the front door drew everyone’s attention.

 Joe was standing there, and he looked like he’d just run several miles. He was breathing hard, coat thrown on but no attention paid to straighten the collar that was curled under. He stared at Iris, and she realized the time to leave was right now.

 “Well, I should go. Good bye.”

 “Goodbye Iris, and thank you.”

 “Bye Iris.” Jacob was now curled up next to his mother.

 Joe’s gaze swept her up and down as she approached, checking for injury. She wasn’t going to tell him that her arm was still throbbing where the ladder had hit it. He stopped once he reached her feet, clad only in thin dress socks. Her shoes were evidence for now.

 “What happened to your shoes?”

 “It’s a long story.”

 Joe took her arm. “That is one I expect to hear.” They marched downstairs and out the door. Iris made a move to her car, but Joe quickly interrupted it.

 “Uh-uh. My car. You can’t drive without shoes anyway.”

 Iris heaved a sigh. This was exactly what she wanted to avoid, but it didn’t seem like that was going to be possible. She tiptoed over the gravel to Joe’s car and got in. Sure enough, he started driving in the direction of his house, the opposite direction of hers.

 The silence was heavy and thick with emotion. Iris stared out the window, waiting for it. Joe drove with precise economical motions and it was obvious he was wound tight. He didn’t actually speak until they got inside the house. Iris put down her bag and sat on the couch with a sigh, pulling her feet up under her.

 Joe paced back and forth a few times. Iris wondered if he’d have a stroke if she told him she was twenty five and he wasn’t allowed to treat her like she was fifteen any more. But she held her silence. She never really felt like talking nowadays.

 Finally Joe decided what to say first. “Baby…I’m so glad you’re unhurt. The officers told me most of what happened. I’m so glad you’re safe. And the boy too.”

 Iris nodded. Wait for it…

 “But what were you thinking? You knew more about this case yesterday when I asked you, and you denied it! You can’t keep acting like you’re all alone!”

 “Girl’s gotta be her own hero every now and again.” She muttered it dully, looking at the floor with an ironic twist to her mouth.

 “That’s not what this is about.” Joe sat down right next to her, almost in her space, interrupting her gaze at the floor. She felt a flicker of annoyance. “This is about you closing everyone out. I didn’t say anything when you found your own place because I know how hard it is for you to be here, and I’ve tried to give you time to deal with this on your own.” He took her hand in his. “But baby, I’m really worried about you. I know you’ve lost so much, but don’t shut me out. Talk to me.”

 She pulled her hand out of his, clenching both hands together in her lap. “You shut down when Mom was gone, and I dealt with it until Barry came to live with us. You did it again when Barry was in his coma. You can’t yell at me for being like you. I don’t want to talk, Dad. There’s nothing to talk about.”

 Joe knew full well she had a point with her first statements, so he skirted over them and focused on the last. “Oh—nothing?” Joe looked at a loss for words, which was quite a feat, but he quickly found them again. “Nothing to talk about? So you going off on your own, shutting out the people who care about you is nothing? The fact that I have no idea what you’re feeling anymore because you won’t talk to me is nothing? The fact that Barry and Eddie are gone is nothing?”

 Her careful wall began to crack as her eyes flashed up at him, angry and bright. “I don’t want to talk about how I feel, Dad!”

 “Why? Why don’t you want to talk about it, Iris?”

 “Because I’m ANGRY!” Her voice was suddenly much louder. Joe backed off slightly but he didn’t move away. His eyes were sad as he surveyed her.

 “Who are you angry at?”

 “Everyone! I’m angry at Eddie, and I’m angry at Barry! I’m angry that this happened, at myself, at the Reverse Flash, I’m angry at the world, Dad!”

 Joe held himself still. He stared at her a moment, sorting through everything she had said. “Why are you mad at Eddie?” His voice was soft now.

 “Because! He just made his decision, without talking to me, without checking to see how I felt about it! He just did it and left me to deal with it!” She was blinking back tears now, but they were spilling over anyway. This is exactly what she’d wanted to avoid, but the events of the last several hours compounded the other recent events, and now it was all spilling out. “Barry did it too! You did it when you decided not to tell me Barry was the Flash! I am tired, Dad. I am sick and tired of everyone making decisions around me and leaving me to pick up the mess.” She angrily wiped away tears.

 Joe nodded slightly. “I understand why you’re mad at me, and really I understand why you’re mad at Barry and Eddie, but honey do you think maybe you’re mad at them because deep down you know there was no other choice to make? They were trying to save people they loved. You knew that boy for a day, but you didn’t leave him to that metahuman. You made the only choice someone like you could ever make.”

 Iris glared at him. It was clear she knew that, but it didn’t take the anger away. She took a steadying breath. “That doesn’t make it hurt less, Dad. It just makes me angrier that it happened. That they’re gone.” She laid her head on his shoulder, sniffling.

 “I know.” Joe put his arms around her. “I miss them both. I…didn’t always see eye to eye with Eddie, but he was good to you and he was a good partner. I miss him too. And Barry—“his voice broke, so he just stopped talking. Iris seemed to know what he wanted to say. “They were both good men.”

 “Yeah. They were. I think I found my type, Dad.”

 It was the closest she had ever come to acknowledging her feelings for Barry. The ones Joe knew were there but had been waiting years see out in the light of day. This was more of a peek, but it hurt that it seemed to be too late now. His arms tightened around his daughter. “It’s okay to feel angry, Iris. Don’t hold it in. Please talk to me.” He could feel her nod against his shoulder, and that gave him the courage to press his advantage. “And not just me, you know. You have a whole team of people at S.T.A.R. Labs who want to talk to you, who are suffering too. Let us help you. Let us be involved. We’re still a team.”

 “I was never on your team, you guys did all that without me.”

 That hurt, but Joe couldn’t deny it so he let it pass. “I meant you and I. We’re still a team. Even with Barry missing. We can’t shut each other out, I’m sorry I ever did that. And the others, well we’ll just let them tag along. We’ll let them think it’s their group because it’s their treehouse. But it’s our team. We just need to be a part of it.” He attempted a half smile.

 She looked at him with wet eyes, but then she nodded. Her back got a little straighter, her shoulders a bit more square. “Okay. Our team.” Her hand landed on his.

 His other hand covered hers, warming it. “Our team.”

 They both smiled, until Joe couldn’t wait any longer. “Now, why don’t you have any shoes?”

 

* * *

 

The next day Iris was repeatedly interrupted at her desk by texts from Caitlin, Cisco, Ronnie and even Martin as the story of her previous evening trickled in. Joe must be talking to people today.

  **Are you okay?**

**Why didn’t you tell us? Metahumans are our thing!**

**Please come have pizza with us tonight, Caitlin asked me to text you in particular.**

**Remarkable exploits last night, Ms. West. Why don’t you come by and tell us about them? Clarissa would love it.**

Iris groaned as they came in one at a time, disrupting her writing process and breaking her train of thought. The last one interrupted her as she was putting together an envelope for Jacob. She put down her felt tip pen yet again to pick up her phone and text a reply. Having finally made plans with the entire group for that evening at S.TA.R. Labs, she was putting her phone away when her boss approached.

 “West, my office please.” He headed to his office without waiting. She blew out a sigh and followed. She closed his door as she entered, he was already seated behind his desk.

 “Mr. Larkin?” She’d long since learned not to joke with her boss, not since the disastrous first day she’d called him Chief.

 He was frowning at his computer screen, but spared her a passing glance. “Yes, I was thinking we could do some sort of follow up article on the Flash and his disappearance. Any possible news, things like that.” He didn’t look up as he stared at his computer, obviously expecting her to agree and let herself out.

 “No.” Her voice was soft, but firm.

 That finally got his attention. He looked at her across his desk, his gaze piercing above his glasses. “Excuse me?”

 She straightened up. “There is no news on the Flash. None at all. People don’t want to hear that.” She kept going before she lost her nerve. “I know you hired me because of my blog, and I know you think that’s all I’m good for but I can assure you, I’m worth much more than that.”

 Mr. Larkin’s eyes narrowed slightly. “You’ll write what I tell you to write about, West. Or you won’t have a job here anymore.”

Something slid into her spine, running from the nape of her neck all the way down her back. Something steely and strong. Her voice was calm but just as steely as she spoke. “That’s true, Mr. Larkin, but I wonder what you’ll tell me to write about next when I tell you that I can write about a boy who was saved from a murderer with black laser eyes, or expose the corruption inside CCPN when I write about a Pulitzer prize-winning reporter who went missing, and his boss who didn’t even blink an eye.”

Mr. Larkin did blink now, rapid and surprised. He had known something was wrong when Mason Bridge had disappeared, but to be honest he hadn’t even known where to start. Mason had no direct family and no real life outside his job. West had hounded him about it until he had at least filled out a missing person’s report. He had been counting on the big expose Mason had promised for the weekend, but everything had disappeared at the same time Mason had. It was the last time he was ever going to let a reporter keep the basics of a story from him. But the suspicious circumstances had led him to simply do nothing, partly because he had no lead to act on, and partly because he was worried that if he started digging there might be another disappearance. West had never truly let it alone, he knew, but had stopped coming to him about it. He’d been grateful she’d never gotten anywhere, if she disappeared too he’d have no one with an in to the Flash. Not that it helped him now.

 He may have blinked at the time, but it was true he had done little to nothing. He didn’t need that kind of bad press even if it was just on her blog. He looked at West across from his desk, trying to decide if he should just fire her on the spot or knuckle under. He wasn’t used to knuckling under, but something about the look in her eye told him she just might be worth more than he’d previously thought. He sat back in his chair, giving her his full attention now.

 “You have a story about a murderer with black laser eyes? How’d you find that?”

 “A tip filtered into CCPN, I followed it on my own. Found the boy myself, got the scoop no one else did, and landed in a mess of trouble. But I got the story.” Iris hadn’t looked away from him yet. “Do you want it or not?”

 Mr. Larkin wondered if he’d created another one like Mason by making her his cub or if it had just happened that way. She reminded him of Mason so much right now; a dog refusing to let go of its bone no matter what. Mason would probably be proud. He couldn’t repress a grudging respect.

 Well, Mason _had_ been an impressive reporter.

 “Yeah. Go with that. Better be a helluva story, West.”

 Her smile was bright but not smug. “Thank you, Mr. Larkin. You won’t be disappointed.”

 She turned to leave, but his voice stopped her. “You know, when I was a kid, there was a word we used for girls like you. Haven’t thought about it in a long time. Care to know what it is?”

 “Um, bitch, sir?” She looked like she was expecting it.

 His eyebrows drew together as he leaned forward over his desk, surprised. “No, actually. Girls like you were full of moxie. Don’t lose it.” He turned back to his computer, a clear dismissal.

 Iris could hardly believe her ears, but she managed a “Thank you, sir.” and was able to get out of the office without embarrassing herself.

 She was sitting back at her desk when she looked down and remembered what she had been working on before she left it.

 A large print of the first picture she’d taken of the Flash lay next to the manila envelope of Flash-oriented blog and newspaper articles she was gathering for Jacob. She’d been writing on it for him. The top left corner had his name, and down below Barry’s masked face she’d written “ _The Flash believes in you_!” in felt tip pen. The picture had been shifted when she left, so now the corner with Jacob’s name was covered by the envelope, and as she read it again she felt like it was meant just for her.

 The Flash stared at her out of the picture, and she could now recognize Barry underneath it amid the red suit and lightning, the blurred background behind him. She’d been lucky he hadn’t been a giant blob. She remembered those first days at CCPN, when she’d felt so out of place and incapable of this job, and Barry had told her if Mason didn’t see what a talented journalist she was he must be a lousy writer. A fond smile turned her lips this time before she reached in her pocket for her always reachable metal piece, running her fingertips over the smooth side. Then she took her hand out and grazed her fingers over her own writing.

 “ _The Flash believes in you_!”

 There were still tears unshed in her eyes, but there was also a smile as she murmured to herself. “A small, really really big thing. Thanks Barry.”

 She packed up the envelope and took it with her when she left that evening. But she didn’t knock on the door this time, even though someone had already replaced the lock and she was pretty sure she heard his mother’s voice inside. She didn’t want Jacob in any more trouble than he already was.

 She slid it under the door.


	8. To Wells or Not To Wells

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bear and Barry head back to S.T.A.R. Labs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Tuesday! I'm suddenly on a roll, so there will be another chapter to follow this one, probably tomorrow. Yay! :)   
> As always, thanks for your support and comments, it means so much to me! You guys are awesome!  
> Thanks for reading, hope you enjoy it!

 

 

“For the record, I still think this is a bad idea.” Bear was back in his borrowed clothes and hat, striding quickly alongside Barry as they headed into S.T.A.R. Labs.

 “Noted. For the tenth time.” Barry didn’t break his stride as they entered the main doors.

 Bear hurried to get in front of Barry, heading him off and turning them into a corner of the main lobby. Barry’s face told him he was pretty sure what Bear was going to say.

 They’d been discussing this same issue for most of the previous night, after everyone was solid and definitely in the same world again. Barry had immediately proposed going back to S.T.A.R. Labs to consult with Harrison and Tess Wells…

  _“What good is that going to do?” Bear’s posture was suddenly guarded in his chair._

_“Well, first things first maybe they can figure out a way to help you stop trying to cross dimensions in your sleep. We can’t guard you every moment and you have to sleep sometime.” Barry had moved to the couch and was now sitting with Iris’ feet in his lap, giving them a light massage. Iris had detoured to the freezer for a bowl of ice cream in the first part of the conversation and was now listening intently as she ate._

_Bear looked at them a moment. “How exactly do you plan to explain something like that to them without telling them truth about who you—who we are?”_

_Barry glanced at his wife quickly, and they traded a nonverbal agreement before he looked back at Bear. “I…don’t.” Barry could see the storm gathering on Bear’s face and leaned forward slightly, careful not to dislodge his wife’s feet. “Look, there’s no possible way to explain something like this without telling the truth. When the circumstances are desperate enough I’ll tell someone I think I can trust who I am if it will get me the right help.”_

_Bear was already shaking his head. “You don’t even know Dr. Wells, or his wife. You met them one time. It’s too big of a risk, you have no idea what they might do with that information. No, we’ll have to find another way.”_

_“What other way? We’ve got nothing!” Barry made a frustrated huffing sound. “It’s like you don’t want to get home, Bear!”_

_Bear leaned forward. “No. I do. I need to get home to my world. I want to, more than anything. But—this Dr. Wells, he may not be everything he seems to be. And you don’t even know him, and for that matter neither do I, really. I just think it’s too dangerous for you to reveal your identity to complete strangers and just hope they don’t betray you with that knowledge.”_

_Silence followed as Barry and Iris digested that thought. Iris pointed at Barry with her spoon. “He does have a point, Barry.”_

_Barry was looking at Bear intently. “You know him in your world, don’t you? Did he betray you there?”_

_Bear’s jaw tightened. “I thought we weren’t supposed to be talking about our worlds, ‘don’t want to blow something up’ remember?”_

_Barry still hadn’t looked away from Bear. “I know what I said, but this is getting serious, and nothing has blown up yet. Did he betray you?”_

_Bear looked away and glared at the carpet. “He wasn’t who he said he was. He hurt a lot of people.” Iris had stopped eating and was looking at him somberly._

_His suspicions confirmed, Barry sat back again, absentmindedly continuing the foot rub for his wife. She wiggled her toes in thanks. Barry sat deep in thought for a moment before he addressed Bear again. “Is there any possibility that he’s the same here?”_

_Bear’s gaze flickered. “Probably not. His wife was dead there, he was—I guess it’s very unlikely. But I still don’t like the idea.”_

_Iris passed her bowl to her husband, who immediately started finishing off what she couldn’t. “Bear, you do realize you’re punishing one man for another’s actions, don’t you?”_

_“I know!” He tempered his tone quickly. “I know, it’s just that—I used to trust people easily, and now…it’s a lot harder. And if I get back home, he still knows who the Flash is here. I don’t like it. I mean, look what happened tonight once Captain Cold figured it out! In my world everything changed the minute E—an enemy found out my real name. We have to be careful.”_

_“That’s true. But Bear, if we were in trouble and you were trying to help us, would you do it?”_

_He stared at her. He could picture his Iris saying the exact same thing. That was playing dirty, turning it back on him like that. He opened his mouth but nothing came out as he sat back in his chair. Barry looked up from the now empty bowl, waiting. Bear exhaled in exasperation._

_“Yes. Yes I would.”_

_“Then it’s settled.” Iris moved her legs off her husband’s lap and prepared to stand up. “I need to go get some sleep, the twins wear me out. Barry, are you taking the first shift?”_

_Barry smiled up at her. “Yeah.” They’d already agreed that Bear needed guarding tonight to make sure he didn’t get stuck again. His eyes were alight with happiness as she bent down to give him a kiss. “Goodnight, Iris.”_

_Bear tried to stifle the worry that still gnawed at him as Iris gave him a hug and headed into the master bedroom._

_Barry vacated the couch and used his speed to make it back into a bed again. He pointed to Bear’s chair. “Trade?”_

_Bear stood up with a sigh and settled on the couch, well aware that he was probably going to be shaken awake every thirty minutes or so. It was going to be a long night…_

And so it had. Bear had averaged about four hours of broken sleep, and he was definitely feeling it. Barry had managed a few hours toward morning when Iris came out to take watch, but he didn’t look much better. They were both on edge and a little irritable.

 Barry waited for Bear to speak but his look said it wasn’t going to change his mind much. Bear pulled out the argument he’d been saving for when Iris wasn’t around.

 “Look, I know you want to help me, and I am really grateful. But you have twins on the way! You need to look out for your wife and children. Telling Dr. Wells who you are won’t just impact you, it could affect your whole family.”

 “You think I don’t take protecting my family seriously?” Barry looked offended.

 “I didn’t say that, but you really need to think about this before it’s too late.”

 Barry looked torn between anger and understanding. He finally nodded, putting a hand on Bear’s shoulder. “Bear, I’m sure you know that there is nothing more important to me than my family.” He looked to Bear for affirmation, and the other man nodded. “But I can’t call myself the Flash if I’m not willing to take a risk when I help others, and this is you we’re talking about helping. Your Iris needs you as bad as mine needs me. We need to get you home. I understand the risk, and so does Iris. It just has to be done. We’ll deal with the consequences if or when they happen.”

 Mention of his Iris went a long way in convincing Bear, just as Barry knew it would. Bear sighed, knowing he’d lost this argument. “Okay.”

 Barry nodded and took his hand away as they began moving to the visitor’s office. Barry glanced at Bear, a smile tugging at his lips. “Don’t think I don’t know why you saved that for last. Be glad I don’t plan on telling Iris you said any of that, you’d be in trooouble….”

 Bear couldn’t hold in a laugh. “Thank you. I don’t need Iris mad at me in any world.”

 “No you do not.”

 They waited in the same room they had before. This time when Dr. Wells entered he was alone, and he looked slightly less friendly. “Mr. Allen, Mr. Henry, nice to see you again. But I’m not sure what else I can do for you—”

 Barry shook Harrison’s hand. “We’re sorry to intrude again, Dr. Wells, but we are actually hoping you can help us in a different way this time.” Bear fidgeted behind him, still ill at ease. Harrison waited with eyebrows raised.

 Barry took a deep breath. “Umm, I’m assuming you know about the Flash?”

 “I doubt anyone in Central City doesn’t know about the Flash in some capacity, Mr. Allen. Please don’t tell me you want me to develop some kind of weapon—“

 Barry laughed. “No, not really. But maybe we should close the door for this—” There was a rush of wind as Barry sped to the door, shut it, and came back to his starting place.

 Harrison’s jaw was still dropping as he stopped in front of him. Bear watched his face closely.

 “Oh my—you’re—oh, how do you do it? What’s the science behind it? It’s amazing!” Harrison’s eyes were sparkling with questions.

 Barry smiled briefly. “That’s not the most amazing part, Dr. Wells.” He looked behind him, inviting Bear to join them. “Bear?”

 Bear hesitated a final moment before he sped up to stand next to Barry, removing his hat at the same time. Harrison’s jaw was still dropping a second time when he was done. 

“There are _two of you_? How—have there always been—I can’t believe—”

 Barry interrupted Harrison’s abbreviated thoughts. “Dr. Wells, we need your help. And I think you and your wife are the only ones who might have an idea of what has happened and how to fix it.”

 Harrison looked from one to the other for a moment, taking in their exact likeness give or take a few years. He looked like he might explode with more questions any moment, but instead he pulled himself together and nodded. “Let’s go find Tess, and a private room somewhere to talk. Follow me.”

 Bear put his hat back on as they left the room.

  

* * *

 

 

 When Harrison had located his wife and pointed out a small room that would be useful to converse in, Bear and Barry each had the same thought. They rushed her into the room along with her husband and closed the door. Once she had pushed her hair out of her face, Tess Wells’ reaction was stunned silence. She didn’t even stutter her thoughts out loud, she just stared at Bear and Barry for a full twenty seconds before she turned to her husband.

 “Harrison—”

 He raised a hand to forestall her inevitable questions. “You now know about as much as I do, dear. They say they need our help.” Both Harrison and Tess turned to the speedsters, waiting for them to begin. Bear took off his hat again as Barry started talking.

 It didn’t take long to fill the couple in. Harrison’s eyes were continually moving between the two men as they spoke. It was clear that his mind was working on overdrive. Tess stood next to her husband with her arms folded. She was almost completely still, but Bear was sure her mind was working just as fast. She was a serene looking pool with a whirlpool just underneath. It was slightly unnerving, simply because he was realizing that Eobard had been much the same. He pushed that thought away as Barry finished.

 “—and we were hoping you could help us find a way to get Bear home and keep him from getting stuck when he subconsciously vibrates.” Barry stopped for breath and waited.

 Tess looked from one to the other. “Absolutely amazing. Our theory was correct. And another Flash from another world—only someone as fast as you two could manage something like this.” She looked at both of them again, awestruck.

 Harrison’s gaze finally settled on Barry. “I think your spitball is a sound theory, Mr. Allen. Subconsciously Bear’s body knows it’s in the wrong place.” He put a finger to his mouth as he gave it more thought.

 “Well, your screenplay questions make a lot more sense now. But that would have been a great movie.” Tess smiled at Bear, who returned it with a cautious one of his own. She gave him a considering glance. “So we need to design something that will counteract your body’s natural desire to vibrate through frequencies. Interesting. What if we made a device that transmitted a frequency already? If it were touching your skin your body might not be able to start moving through other frequencies, it would home in and stay on that one.”

 Harrison made an approving sound. “We need to gather data. Let’s go to the workshop, I’ll reassign our employees there for a bit so we can be discreet about this.”

 Barry shot Bear a look as they all left the room, and Bear knew he was telling him that he’d been too paranoid.

 But unfortunately Eobard had taught him that things could appear one way and still be very different. He found that he avoided Harrison as much as he could and gravitated more to Tess.

 They spent the rest of the day working in what Bear recognized as Cisco’s workshop in his world. Both Harrison and Tess grew very excited as they gathered data and started designing prototypes, though neither mentioned much about the possibility of Bear getting home. Bear could feel his exhaustion and knew he really needed some good sleep, so he didn’t distract them from their labors. One battle at a time. He was delighted when the two scientists asked him if he would nap so they could assess what he was doing and measure frequencies. He was less delighted when they shook him awake exactly thirty five minutes later

 By early evening, Tess and Barry had gone looking for an appropriate power source for the device. Bear was submitting to yet another test measuring his specific body frequencies, which brought up unpleasant reminders of the Pied Piper and the feeling of organs shredding apart. He sat in a chair with small patch sensors attached to his arms and forehead, tense and trying not to twitch as the machine to which they were attached began to run through its program. Harrison was standing nearby writing notes on a pad of paper, glancing first at the machine and then to him. Finally the silence stretched on too long. Harrison put his pad and pen down on a table.

 “You can’t even look at me, can you? Why?”

 Bear glanced up at him, surprised that he’d been so forthright. The last time Eobard had been completely forthright with him, Bear had slammed a fist against the pipeline cell glass and told him he wanted to kill him. He pushed those thoughts away and tried to see Harrison as just Harrison, forcing himself to look at the other man fully.

 “I’m sorry. It’s not you. You…remind me of someone else.” Bear attempted a half-hearted smile.

 Harrison’s eyes were keen behind his glasses, but kind. “Someone from your world?”

 “Yeah. He was…not a nice man.”

 Harrison pulled up a chair next to him and sat down. “And he looked like me?” He leaned slightly closer. “Or he was me?”

 Bear stared at him, unsure how much he should say. It was impressive how fast Harrison’s mind worked. There was no doubt this man was very intelligent. But no one wanted to hear that an evil speedster from the future caused an accident, killed the love of your life and then you as he drained your body into a shrunken corpse and stole your identity.

Harrison was waiting patiently for an answer, his face open and easy to read. Bear could feel pity for the Harrison Wells of his world welling up. “He wasn’t you. That much I’m sure of.” Bear’s smile was a bit more than half-hearted this time. “Dr. Wells…thank you for helping me. I can’t believe you accepted this as calmly as you did. And your wife too.”

 “No, thank you Bear. To receive confirmation that an untestable theory of mine is not only true, but I get to discover more about it as I attempt to help someone return home? This is like Christmas!” Harrison stood up to check the machine and, seeing it was finished, started removing patches from Bear’s arms. Bear fought a smile as he pulled the ones off his forehead.

 Tess and Barry re-entered, deep in conversation.

 “—but you still have the problem of how to get him there, we don’t have a frequency to tune in to.”

 “I know, but is there any other way?” Barry glanced between Bear and Harrison quickly before giving his attention back to Tess, who was putting the power pack next to their new device. She leaned against the table and looked to her husband.

 “I don’t think so. Harrison?”

 “The first time was a singularity. I don’t see how we can reproduce that.” Harrison started.

 “Oh we could reproduce it, but it wouldn’t be safe.” Bear blurted, then wished he hadn’t as the other three looked at him.

 Harrison’s gaze was intent. “How would you do that?”

 Bear tried to find a nice way of putting it, but there just didn’t seem to be words for that. “We…might have used a particle accelerator to create a wormhole, and when it destabilized—“

 “You got a singularity.” Barry finished. He put his hands up to his head, looking very unsettled. “Why on earth would you do that?”

 “It’s a long story.” Bear mumbled. “It was stable for a minute and fifty two seconds, and we thought we closed it, but then it opened and it was unstable.”

 Tess shook her head. “Wormholes don’t just re-open and become unstable. Well, theoretically, I’ve never actually done it. What happened after it was closed?”

 Bear stared at the floor. “A paradox.”

 All three understood at the same time, but Barry spoke first. “A paradox was created, and the timeline was unable to sustain itself. That’s why it re-opened.” He looked at Harrison and Tess for confirmation and both nodded their agreement of his theory. “So, you closed it. Which means the collapsing timeline is now stable in spite of that paradox, so your world is still there to go home to, thank God. But Bear, do you realize the damage that’s been done?”

 Bear’s eyes came up to meet his. “Of course I do! I may have performed the time travel and started this specific mess but I wasn’t the one who started messing around in the timeline in the first place! _He_ split off a new one and screwed up everyone’s lives. And when I came back we closed it, and then I was definitely not the one to create the paradox, but he was just trying to save us. Her.” Bear looked away. There was silence for a moment. He swallowed. “Believe me, I know the damage this has caused all right? I just need to get back to the people I left behind. I don’t belong here.”

 Tess moved to him and put a hand on his arm. “Of course we’ll help you get home.” She turned to her husband, who looked deep in thought. “Right? He can’t stay here, he belongs in his world. How would you feel if it were you, Harrison? How would any of us feel?”

 Bear twitched involuntarily. He couldn’t help it, her words were too much of a reminder. He frowned at the floor.

 Harrison and Barry both noticed as Harrison replied. “Of course. We’ll do everything we can.”

 He moved to the device they’d been fashioning and began attaching the power supply the other two had brought back with them. Barry was staring at Bear, his mind working at a furious pace. Harrison brought the device to Tess.

 They had fashioned an anklet of sorts, thin cables wrapped in thin cloth to transmit Bear’s same frequency. The bulge of the power pack and frequency generator were in the middle and it was completed with a small buckle to secure it. Tess wrapped it around Bear’s ankle and fastened it in place, tight enough to make contact with Bear’s skin but not tight enough to cut off circulation. She switched it on to make sure it was tolerable.

 “Feels fine.” Bear couldn’t detect anything different about it.

 “Okay. You’ll need someone to watch you tonight to make sure it works. Come back tomorrow and we’ll see what else we can do.” Tess smiled reassuringly.

 Bear nodded. “Thank you.”

   

* * *

 

 

Bear and Barry left shortly after that. Harrison and Tess bid them farewell by the front doors, both expressing their intent to continue looking into getting Bear home.

 They were out of the building and moving to the edge of the parking lot so they could start running when they heard the yelling from down the street.

 A young man was racing past the trees lining the parking lot, stolen bag in hand and looking behind him. Another man was quickly closing the distance behind him, followed by a woman who was doing most of the yelling.

 “Stop! Get back here!”

 Both Bear and Barry looked at one another, ready to jump into the fray. But at that moment the pursuer reached out both hands and grabbed the purse snatcher by the shoulders. Both men went down, skidding on the pavement. Bear and Barry approached at regular speed as the pursuer pushed the would-be thief to his stomach, pulled his hands behind his back and proceeded to cuff him.

 “Need any help?” Barry offered. Bear had stopped a step sooner and was just staring at the two men on the ground.

 The streetlamps lighting the edge of the parking lot were dim but still lit up the man’s golden hair as he looked up at them, a slight smile curving his lips. “No thanks, I got him.” He have his attention to the thief, who was grumbling under his breath on the ground. “Thought you’d steal my wife’s bag but you had no idea I was a cop and I could run. Tough luck, buddy.” He stood up, shaking his skinned knuckles and rubbing an elbow where he had hit it on the concrete. His white shirt was dirty and torn in a few places but he looked very pleased.

 “Eddie! What were you thinking?” The woman had caught up with them. She was a classic beauty with blond hair, tottering slightly on her heels as she approached. Her husband turned her way with a proud smile, holding her purse out to her. She snatched it from his grasp. “Like I don’t have four of these at home! You didn’t have to run after him like an idiot! God, you’re embarrassing.” Her gaze took in his appearance with distaste.

 Eddie’s smile fell, replaced by deep humiliation as he glanced at Bear and Barry, both of whom suddenly felt embarrassed to witness this. He looked back to his wife, who was checking inside her purse to make sure everything was there. “Hon, it’s my job.”

 “Your job is to be a detective and use your brain, not go running after thugs like a common street cop.” She threw her bag over her shoulder.

 Bear couldn’t take any more. “Ma’am, your husband was trying to stop a criminal. He’s a hero.”

 She looked at him as if he were a bug. “What would you know about my husband?”

 “I—” Bear stopped talking abruptly.

 “That’s what I thought.” She turned to Eddie. “I suppose now we have to take him to the station, and I get to wait around all night and have my entire evening ruined because you just couldn’t let it go.”

 Eddie ducked his head in shame, but bent down to grab the thief’s arm and help him to his feet. They were about to move away when Bear stepped forward.

 “Eddie.” Eddie looked his way, eyes surprised and a little wary. Bear could see the lingering embarrassment and disappointment in them as well. “You—you’re a hero. A good man. Don’t forget that.”

 Eddie looked slightly uncomfortable being called such a thing, but even his wife’s scoffing snort of disgust wasn’t enough to diminish the spark of happiness Bear saw in his blue eyes.

 “Thank you.” He gave Bear a bright smile.

 “No, thank you.” Bear blinked rapidly, and the smile he gave Eddie was sad. Barry looked between the two of them, sensing an underlying message.

 The trio moved away, and they weren’t even out of earshot when Eddie’s wife started in on him again. Her voice could be heard as they progressed across the street and around a corner. Bear just watched them go.

 He had often been jealous of Eddie because of Iris. He had been ready to hate him when he discovered their relationship. But Eddie had been kind and supportive, had even called Bear a friend. He had taught him to punch, kept his secret in spite of the trouble it caused, and he had ultimately given his life when Bear hadn’t been strong enough to defeat Eobard himself.

 The woman’s nagging was still carrying back to his ears, and he couldn’t suppress the thought that Iris would never have treated Eddie like that. Even if Eobard _had_ messed up the timeline and Eddie and Iris should never have happened, he couldn’t blame Eddie for fighting to keep it. Anyone would. It wasn’t human nature to find someone that made you so happy and then throw them away.

 Barry moved up next to Bear and watched them leave too. “Do I even want to know who that was?”

 Bear sighed. “No, you probably don’t. But if you ever see him again, treat him nice. He deserves it.”

 


	9. See the Unseen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Iris and Cisco become buds. You know you want it!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised, another chapter! :)  
> I cannot believe the awesomeness that is my readers! You guys are the best! *hugs*  
> Thanks for all your insightful comments and support! (Swear I'm going to answer some real soon....no really.)  
> Thanks for reading!

 

 

 

**_Central City_ **

Iris’ article was printed by the end of the week, and her boss was very pleased. Her next assignment was in no way Flash related. Dinner with the crew at S.T.A.R. Labs was becoming a regular occurrence after the night they invited her for pizza and insisted on every detail of her close call with Jacob and “Black Eye”. (Cisco decided he needed a name, even posthumously.)

 As time went on, Iris found herself watching each member of group as they interacted. Her dad was right, she wasn’t the only one hurting. Caitlin and Ronnie were happy to be together, but she caught both of them sharing saddened looks with each other when Dr. Wells or Barry were mentioned. Martin brought Clarissa to most of their dinner gatherings and she was welcomed into the group, but Iris caught Martin looking at the closed room that used to hold Barry’s suit more than once, and a few times he glanced at Iris and looked about to say something, only to move away. Invariably his wife would move to hold his hand after, but once in a while she caught Ronnie looking his way as well. Her own father was quieter than usual, offering very little information on his new partner other than she was from Keystone, capable and nice. Iris hadn’t met her yet, she still couldn’t bring herself to enter the building, even if Joe was still there.

 Cisco was the closest to what he had been before the singularity, but the more Iris watched him the more she wondered if he was simply better at putting up a front. That was something she could understand. He joked, he worked, and he was still smart and nerdy. But he seemed to be holding something in. His typical response to Iris asking him how he was that he was just tired and didn’t sleep well anymore.

 After pizza, Thai, more pizza, then sandwiches, Joe showed up one scheduled evening with bags full of Big Belly Burgers and fries. He was met with enthusiastic cheers and immediate grabbing of food by almost everyone.

 “Cisco? Your food is over here.” Caitlin pointed to the double cheeseburger and fries near his station.

 Cisco nodded his acknowledgement. “Yeah. I need to finish something. Be right back.” He disappeared down the hall to his workshop. Iris watched him go.

 Five minutes later, amid cheerful debate on the relative success rate of Firestorm’s attempts to deter crime, Iris got up and followed him.

 “Yes, now we scare the criminals toward the police, or knock them down so they can be apprehended.” Martin’s sarcasm was as thick as the milkshake he was working on.

 Ronnie was quick to defend. “At least we can aim well now, we’re not lighting them on fire, are we?”

 “That is true, but we seem to be at a disadvantage when the criminals are _inside_ a building…”

 Iris smiled as she approached Cisco’s workshop. He was inside, but as she suspected, he wasn’t working on anything. He was standing at a small table staring at a piece of tech in his hands. He looked up and tried to appear busy the moment he realized she was there.

 “Hey. Your food is getting cold.” She gave him a small smile.

 He nodded. “I know. Be right there.”

 She moved inside, gazing at the varied objects lying around. She picked up a large electronic device and put it down. “I’ve never seen you wait to eat. If I didn’t know better, I’d say you didn’t like Big Belly Burger.” She waited with a friendly air, hoping he might open up.

 Cisco put down the tech he was holding. “I just don’t feel like eating right now.” He looked over to see if she was going to buy that, but it was obvious from the look on her face that she wasn’t going to. He busied himself arranging items on the table, but Iris was still waiting and finally he gave up. “I haven’t eaten Big Belly Burger since the singularity.” He sat down heavily in his chair.

 Iris dragged a stool over next to him and sat down. “Why not?”

 Cisco stared at the table in front of him. “It was his favorite.”

 “Barry’s favorite?”

 “No, _his_. Dr. Wells, or Eobard, the Reverse Flash or whoever. Mr. Evil Betrayer.”

 “Oh, his favorite.” Iris could see how someone who was a trusted mentor turning out to be evil incarnate must be upsetting. “Still hurts, huh?”

 Cisco nodded at the table, searching for the right words. “I mean, I know now that everything he ever told me was a lie. And he killed Barry’s mom and tried to kill Barry. But for almost two years he was just Dr. Wells, the guy who believed in me and gave me a job. The guy who watched movies and ate popcorn and gave me pep talks. That’s why I stayed, after the particle accelerator blew up. I didn’t want to abandon him. I thought he was a great man.” Iris nodded but stayed silent, knowing there was more.

 Cisco was still staring at the table, obviously awash with memories. “I looked up to him and wanted to be like him. And sometimes I still remember that guy that I looked up to and that’s who I see and I miss him. But once you find out about the other side of someone you can’t un-see it. I can’t see him the same anymore. But it’s so hard to see both.”

 Iris put a hand on his shoulder. Cisco’s words made her thoughts run around to Barry. Her best friend for years, but also the guy who had quietly loved her almost his entire life. She had only ever seen him as her best friend until that Christmas, and then she couldn’t un-see that new side. He loved her, but she was with Eddie. She cared about him only as her best friend…but did she? As time wore on, she had to wonder if she was now seeing him with a new perspective she’d never had before, never even realized she might have had before? As a possible lover, boyfriend, something more than just friends or even adopted family. She had tried so hard to look past that new side of him that had been revealed, but she couldn’t. And she had never even realized that the Flash was someone she was drawn to because of who he was under the mask. She had never been able to get past that, not even when she was with Eddie. Eddie had been right, there always had been three people in their relationship. But she had tried so hard not to hurt anyone…

 She blinked back tears. “You’re right. You can’t un-see that other side of them. But you can’t let it drag you down either.” She gave his shoulder a squeeze. “Cisco, I’ll make a deal with you. You eat Big Belly Burger tonight, and tomorrow I’ll eat Mama Chow’s with you for lunch.”

 He looked a bit confused as he finally turned her way. “How does—oh.” He suddenly put together the pieces and realized what she was offering. Support for him to do something difficult in return for the same for her. He didn’t need to be a genius to realize Mama Chow’s had been special to her and at least one of the guys she had lost. He lifted his head, swallowed and nodded. “Deal.”

 “Thank you, Cisco.” Her smile was slightly watery. “You’re a good friend.”

 “Same to you.” They stood up and headed out the door to the main cortex.

 Her voice echoed in the hallway as they went. “Can I just ask one favor? No ordering dim sum.”

Cisco nodded soberly. “No problem, I’m more of a sweet and sour guy.”

 

  Cisco managed to eat his burger and fries without incident after hesitating on the first bite. Iris stood next to him, providing support with a smile. Cisco chewed and swallowed, then grabbed some fries. He really was hungry. Gradually the food disappeared and as it did, Cisco joined the current conversation with Ronnie and Martin. He got excited as he described the new design and materials he planned to incorporate into a new earpiece for Firestorm so they could communicate. Both Ronnie and Martin asked for specifics.

 Joe moved to stand next to Iris, who was leaning against the console with her arms folded watching with a smile. It hadn’t escaped his attention that Cisco had left without eating, and Iris had been the one to bring him back. He could sense the shift that had taken place.

 “Well done,” he murmured quietly to his daughter.

 Iris kept looking at Cisco, but her smile got wider as she acknowledged his comment. “Thanks, Dad.”

 “What did I say? Our team.”

 “Our team.” She held out one of her folded arms to her father, fingers curled into a fist. He bumped it with his own.

 Then a real genuine laugh escaped him as he put an arm around his daughter and hugged her, kissing the top of her head.

 Iris hugged him back.

 

* * *

 

  Even without dim sum, lunch at Mama Chow’s was a solemn affair. Iris picked at her food as Cisco ate nervously, trying to find things to talk about that wouldn’t be too painful. Finally Iris pushed her food away and leaned across the table. Cisco froze, realizing she looked very determined.

 “Do you think we choose our own destiny?” Her voice was quiet, but her eyes were intense.

 “Um, I don’t know…” Cisco realized she was dead serious, and that she really wanted his opinion. “Okay, yes. Yes I think we do.”

 “How do you know?”

 “I don’t really, I just believe it. I don’t have proof.”

 He could tell his answer was unsatisfying, and as much as he didn’t want to cause Iris pain, it felt like this was something she needed to talk about. It dawned on him that she was asking about the newspaper article, and how he’d inadvertently upset her the day of Eddie’s funeral. This was his chance to explain himself better. He pushed aside his own plate to lean in as well. “Look, we know Eddie was an ancestor to Eobard. Some would say that was his destiny. It looked unavoidable. But Eddie chose his own destiny, and _he_ decided what it was going to be. So yes, I believe we do choose it.”

 Iris had flinched when Eddie’s name was mentioned, but she pushed through. “But what about Barry? Eobard engineered everything to make him the Flash! How did Barry have any kind of choice in that? He didn’t.”

 “Actually, he did. I mean, he didn’t have any choice in being struck by lightning, or getting super speed. But he chose what he was going to do with it. Caitlin and Joe were against him using his powers to help people at first. Dr. Wells told him he was just a guy struck by lightning. Now I don’t know if he was just playing mind games or checking to see if Barry was going to step up to the plate, but Barry decided he was going to do this. Barry came to Caitlin and me asking for help with Clyde Marden. Barry chose his destiny as a hero.”

 Iris let his words sink in. “So, a newspaper article from the future isn’t set in stone?”

 Cisco shook his head. “I don’t think it is. There was a totally different timeline in play before Eobard went back to kill Barry’s mom and changed everything. So yeah, Iris West-Allen was your destiny there, but here who knows? Everything is different now. You get to choose. Even if it was the same as the article, which it can’t be really, but still, if you _chose_ it that would be why. We choose, Iris. Just because something happens more than once doesn’t make it destiny that is unavoidable. And we’ve all made so many weird freaky choices in the past year, there is nothing set in stone anymore. There might be some Terminator going on, but there’s a whole lotta Back to the Future here.”

 To her credit, Iris barely blinked as she processed that. “Why do you think Barry didn’t change anything? Why do you think he didn’t save his mom?” Her eyes were still intense.

 Cisco gave a helpless shrug. “I don’t know. He had to have had a really good reason. But he chose then too. He chose his destiny. This one.”

 “Yeah he did.” Iris leaned back to let the waitress take her barely touched plate. Cisco did the same. Silence fell between them as Cisco finished his drink and opened a fortune cookie.

 All Iris could think about was the day she had told Eddie the same thing. _“I choose my own destiny, and I choose you.”_ She had been determined not to be forced into any decision, not because of some article, not because of some evil speedster, and definitely not by anyone in her life. She was not going to let anyone control her life again.

 Cisco had a thought and leaned forward again. “But, Iris, getting to choose for ourselves means we also get to change our minds. So that’s something.”

 Iris nodded. It was something, all right. Barry and Eddie had both proved that when they changed their minds and chose different paths. She honestly couldn’t decide whether this conversation had made her feel better or worse about her life at the moment.

 Cisco opened his fortune and huffed out a laugh. “I feel like I’m in a movie right now.” He slid the paper toward her so she could read it too.

  **We cannot dictate choices for others, we can only dictate our own.**

Iris nodded. “Too true. Thanks Cisco.”

 “No problem. Anywhere else you need to go?”

 She laughed softly. “I’ll let you know.”

 

* * *

 

  It was a week later when Iris finally found the strength and courage to contact Eddie’s mother. She arranged a meeting at a nearby coffee shop (not Jitters). For the rest of the day she was on edge and nervous. Not because of who she was meeting but what she had decided to do.

 She guzzled a latte as liquid courage, made a quick stop at her apartment after work, and walked into the coffee shop trying to look as composed as possible.

 Eddie’s mother had already arrived. She smiled at Iris as she sat down. “Iris, it was good to hear from you. I’ve been wondering how you were doing. I read your article, what a terrifying ordeal!”

 “Hi Mrs. Thawne.” Iris put her purse in her lap. “It’s good to see you too.”

 There was a slightly awkward pause as each woman realized that they had little in common with each other except Eddie. Iris dug into her purse. “Well, I really only asked to meet so I could give you this.” She pulled out a blue ring box and gave it to Eddie’s mother.

 The other woman hesitated slightly before she took it and opened it to view the ring inside. “Oh. Eddie asked me for this, a few weeks before he died. It belonged to his Grandmother Agnes, you know. I wondered if he had ever given it to you before…”

 Iris swallowed past the lump in her throat, tears brimming. “I found it. Eddie never had a chance to give it to me.” That was true enough.

 Eddie’s mother closed the box, then made a slightly jerky motion to give it back to Iris. Iris shook her head. “Oh no I couldn’t, Mrs. Thawne.”

 “I think he would want you to have it.”

 “Thank you, but I can’t. He—it was never truly mine.” Iris smiled at her, even as tears spilled out. “Just borrowed for a while. And it was lovely.”

 Mrs. Thawne pursed her lips together to avoid the sob that was trying to escape, nodding as she tucked the box into her own purse. They both stood to hug each other, knowing it was probably for the last time.

 “I wish you much happiness, Iris.”

 “Same to you, Mrs. Thawne. Thank you for raising a wonderful son.”

 Iris was out on the sidewalk, wiping her eyes so she could see where she was going before she reached into her pocket and pressed the metal piece into her hand, feeling the jagged edge. The feel of it calmed her, helping her to take a deep breath as she walked away.

  

* * *

 

 There was no scheduled dinner at S.T.A.R. Labs that evening, so things were quiet when Iris wandered in. Caitlin was finishing up and getting ready to leave for dinner with Ronnie, but she pointed Iris toward Cisco’s workshop when she asked about him.

 “Hey Cisco,” she sighed as she walked in and dropped her bag on her usual chair.

 Cisco, who was used to Iris dropping in by now, barely looked up from the new earpiece he was working on. “Hey, Iris. What’s up?”

 Iris leaned against a wall and slid down it to sit on the floor. “Just met with Eddie’s mother.”

 “Oh.” Cisco abandoned his project and hurried over to sit next to her. He slid down the wall too and braced his arms over his knees. They sat in companionable silence for a moment before he spoke again. “So, was it awful?”

 “No, she’s very nice. But it was hard. Saying goodbye sucks.”

 Cisco nodded appreciatively. “Yup. It does.” He stared at his knees. He admired her strength. He hadn’t quite been able to say goodbye to the idea of his old mentor, not to mention— “Have you said goodbye to Barry yet?”

 “I…I can’t. I don’t know how.” Iris elbowed him. “Stop it, I’ve cried enough for today.”

 “Right. Sorry.” Cisco shook his head. “I can’t do it either. I don’t want to think that he’s dead. I just keep thinking something wild must’ve happened. I mean he just vanished. I wondered if he’s lost in time, or suddenly invisible, I wish I knew more about how the speed force worked, or maybe he vaporized…but I hate that possibility.”

“Me too, don’t say that again.”

 “Right. I’m gonna to shut up now.” Cisco resisted the urge to smack himself. Iris didn’t need him putting his foot in his mouth and making her feel awful again. He was wondering what he could say to cheer her up when the sound of metal pinging onto the floor diverted him. “What was that?”

 “Oh.” Iris reached for the metal piece on the floor next to her. “It fell out of my pocket.” She picked it up and showed it to Cisco before she held it in front of her, running her fingers over the edges.

 Cisco craned his neck to get a better look at it. “Where’d you get that?”

 “After the singularity closed. It broke off when everything was falling to the ground, after we realized he was gone. I can’t seem to let go of it. Stupid, huh?” She gave him a rueful self-mocking smile.

 Cisco gave her a look full of sad understanding. “No. No it’s not stupid.”

 Iris flashed him a grateful smile, turning the piece over and over in her hands. Cisco caught a glimpse of the discoloration on one side. “Interesting. This was exposed to a large amount of heat and stress at the same time, see how it’s discolored on that side? May I?” He reached for the piece, and Iris stopped turning it so he could take it from her fingers. “See the discoloration is in the same area where it was bent and brok—”

 The rest of Cisco’s sentence was lost the moment he made contact with the piece. Suddenly his mind was awash with different images, colliding and clashing together. His eyes rolled back in his head as tremors shook his body. He could see dark sky and stars—a lit neon sign advertising Central Cinnamon Rolls—a playground where parents were calling their children, telling them to come in, it was dark—grass—rocks—an old dented pop can—a construction site with trucks and cranes lined up, creating a silhouette against the night sky—and a small but comfortable apartment where two men were sitting on the couch and a third walked in through the front door, pulling off his green hat as he did—“Hey, I heard about the—“

 “Cisco!”

 He jerked as his eyes opened, twitching so violently that the piece flew out of his hands and skittered across the floor. Iris rushed to retrieve it. Once she did she turned to look at him, face full of confusion and concern. Cisco put his hands up to his forehead; it was aching.

 “Cisco.” Iris moved closer and knelt down next to him. “What the hell was that?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *hides behind computer* I can't seem to stop with the cliffhangers, they just keep coming out like this! I blame the story! Hopefully next chapter this weekend! *runs away*


	10. Snapped Into Focus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Metal pieces and theories, and lots and lots of caffeine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Saturday! Have another chapter! :)  
> You guys are the best readers ever, I am loving your comments. Still answering a bunch!  
> Thanks for all your support! Thanks for reading, hope you enjoy it!

 

**_Central City_ **

****

Cisco sat with his hands still on his head, breathing hard. When he didn’t reply Iris touched his arm.

 “Cisco, are you okay? What happened?”

 He didn’t meet her eyes. “I don’t know. That was weird. I need some air.”

 He struggled to his feet and left the room, heading for the main cortex. Iris stared after him.

 So much had happened in the past year that Iris rarely felt like the same person she used to be. Maybe it was the reporter skills she was honing, or maybe it was the fact that she’d seen that same avoidance in Barry right after his coma and could now recognize it for what it was, but she knew one thing for sure: Cisco knew more about what had just happened than he was letting on. She tucked the metal piece securely back into her pocket and followed him.

 He was leaning over a console in the main cortex, both arms braced on the surface and bearing much of his weight. He was staring at the console and didn’t look up when she entered, but she was sure he knew she was there.

 “Cisco, I’m a lot better at knowing when I’m being lied to, and I feel like you’re lying to me now. What’s going on?”

 His eyes flickered up to hers and then back down. “I…see things sometimes. Things that happened, or didn’t. I think—” he took a deep breath, like he needed just one more moment before admitting it—“I was affected by the accelerator too. It just took longer to manifest itself.”

 Iris stared at him. “You mean you’re a metahuman.”

 Cisco made an aborted motion to shake his head, then gave up and nodded. He’d never truly given himself that label before. But there didn’t seem to be a point denying it now.

 Iris accepted it without drama. He really appreciated that. “What is it you can do?”

 “I don’t know exactly. Something about seeing the vibrations of the universe. I don’t understand it that well.” He still couldn’t look at her.

Iris nodded, sensing his disquiet. “Still, that’s kind of amazing, isn’t it? To have a skill like that?”

 “I don’t want it.” His voice was so low she barely realized he’d spoken.

 “What?”

 “I don’t _want_ it!” His voice was suddenly loud and angry. He looked up finally, and she could see the turbulent emotions in his eyes, on his face. It was the closest she’d ever seen him to losing control in any way, so she kept her voice quiet when she replied.

 “Why not?”

 He looked down again, hands gripping the edge of the console until his knuckles went white. “ _He_ gave it to me. He said it was given with love. I don’t want anything from him, especially his _love_.” His lip curled on the word, like he could hardly stand to say it.

 More than anything Iris wanted to give Cisco a hug, but she wasn’t entirely sure he would accept it at the moment. She moved closer and rolled a chair over next to him so she could sit down. It took a few moments, but eventually he pulled the chair nearest him over and sat down as well. Iris took that as a good sign, even though he sat staring at his hands in his lap.

 Iris debated possible questions in her head, trying to land on the one that would upset him least. “When did you first notice this?”

 “A couple months ago. I started having weird dreams, when I was asleep, and then even when I was awake. About Dr. Wells being the Reverse Flash, and he called me a son and then killed me with a vibrating hand through my heart.”

 “What?” Her mouth was open in horror.

 “Yeah. Turned out it wasn’t a dream, it was a timeline that Barry reset. I could remember it but no one else could. I’d figured out the truth, and he killed me for it. Right before Barry went back to save his mom I told Eobard about it. He said he must have had a good reason. That made everything all better.” Cisco’s sarcasm was so thick it was palpable. “But then he said I could see the vibrations of the universe, and he was sorry. And my destiny was ‘great and honorable’.” Cisco looked like he might cry.

 Iris nodded, then realized— “Wait, Barry reset a timeline already? Going to save his mother wasn’t the first time?”

 Cisco latched onto the diversion, grateful to move on from a sore topic. “He said it was an accident. He was trying to stop Mark Mardon destroying Central City with a huge tsunami, and he was running so fast he traveled backwards a day. He ended up doing things different so it didn’t turn out the same.” Cisco shook his head. “That day still sucked, though.”

 Iris put her hand on his arm. “I’m so sorry, Cisco.” He gave her a fleeting smile of acknowledgment. She hesitated a moment, but curiosity got the better of her. “What happened just now? When you touched the piece?”

 Cisco shook his head slightly. “I don’t know. It was…different. I saw things, lots of things all at once, and they didn’t make sense. It wasn’t like last time, where I got a full image, instead it was just flashes…some sign…a park…trucks…stars…it was freaky.”

 “Why would a piece of metal do that to you?”

 “I don’t know.”

“Will you…touch it again? Just to see what happens?” She sounded hesitant; it was a lot to ask.

 He gave her a doubtful glance. “I don’t know. My head still hurts. I’d rather go to bed and pretend this never happened.”

 “I can understand that, but Cisco don’t forget what you told me about Barry. He didn’t choose to get his powers, but he did choose what he did with them.” She gave him an encouraging smile. “You never know what kind of good you might be able to do with this.”

 He gave a sarcastic laugh. “Good? From Eobard?”

 “He did help Barry become the Flash.” Her eyebrows raised, slightly challenging.

 Cisco gave her a long-suffering look. “I knew that conversation was going to come back to haunt me.”

 Iris bit her bottom lip. “Cisco, if you do this, I’ll go to Jitters with you.”

 Cisco gaped at her. He knew she hadn’t been there since the day she lost Eddie and Barry. “You want this that bad?”

 “I want you to be able to handle this that bad. I want you to feel better about it that bad, yes. That’s what you get for being my friend.” She put an arm around his shoulders, squeezing it in a hug.

 Her offer and the hug made him feel a little better. When she produced the piece from her pocket again, he stared at it a moment as he gathered his strength and wits. Finally he reached out to take it from her again. At the last moment, she pulled it back. “Wait.”

 “Whaat?” The suspense was getting to him.

 “This time, try to control it. See if you can get a fuller image, or focus on one you want to see clearly, anything like that.”

 “Why?”

 “If you’re in control of your powers, maybe you won’t hate having them as much, who knows. You can make them work for you.”

 “Yeah, this isn’t the Matrix, but I’ll try.” But even as he reached for the piece, he found himself thinking _there is no spoon_.

 Spoon or not, it was definitely less of a shock when he was prepared for it. He was somewhat aware of his eyes rolling back in his head this time, of Iris shifting nervously next to him. But his focus was mainly on the visions that were once again colliding in his head. He could see the Central Cinnamon Rolls sign, but was diverted by the construction site, then the dark sky with stars took precedence. Even as he moved from one to the other, trying to slow them down, he became aware that each vision was almost like a puzzle piece; blurry on the edges, focused and clear in the middle, like a watercolor bleeding out to unfinished edges. He tried to focus on just one, to make it the center of his attention. The playground slid to the forefront, now shrouded in darkness and lit streetlamps. And as it did, the edges began to fill in, creating a full picture as it sprang to life. Suddenly it was much more like his dreams about the reset timeline.

 A lone boy was jumping off the swings as a strident voice echoed from a far corner.

 “I called you to come in an hour ago! Get inside!”

 The boy ran across the grass to what looked like his father, who turned and began walking at a slower pace as he waited for the boy to catch up.

 Another image swung into his perception and he automatically grasped it, trying to fill it out as well. Two men sitting on a couch took center stage, but the image filled in to include the entire room, bleeding to the edges and then filling in as the door swung open again, just like last time.

 Oliver entered (or it kind of looked like him…was that a goatee?) and pulled off a Robin-hood style green hat and his mask. “Hey, I heard about the anklet thing. Are you on house arrest now?” He gave the man on the couch a smirk.

 Barry was sitting on the couch. He just shook his head as the man to his left replied.

 “More like world arrest. Hopefully we can all get some sleep tonight, I’m exhausted. He keeps trying to get back on his own, and he’s going to get hurt.”

 “It’s not my fault, I don’t even know I’m doing it…”

 Cisco’s shock jarred him right out of the vision. Still holding the piece this time, his eyes snapped open wide. “Ohmygod.”

 Iris was hovering next to him. “What? What did you see?”

 He looked at her, mouthing wordlessly. How could he even begin to explain what he was seeing? But she was waiting, growing impatient, while his brain was furiously working and puzzling. He jolted to his feet. “I need pen and paper.”

 “What? I—ok.” Iris moved to get him some from a nearby console. Cisco braced his hand on the console again and laid the piece on it, staring at it and still thinking hard. Iris rushed back with a pad of paper and pencil and tried to hand them to him, but he pushed them back at her. “No, you write. I’ll try to talk. Write down everything I say.”

 Iris looked utterly lost, but she sat down immediately and turned to a clean sheet of paper. “Okay.” She sat with pencil poised.

 Cisco took a deep breath and stared at the piece again. “You got this that day? It broke off something that fell when Barry shattered the accretion disc?”

 Iris blinked. “Yes.”

 Cisco gave a disbelieving huff, half laughter half exhale. He sat back down and carefully reached for the piece. “Remember, everything I say.”

 “Right.” Iris could feel the tension pressing in on them both, even though she had no idea what was happening right now.

 “Okay. Okay.” Cisco sat down and picked up the piece again.

 The effect was once again immediate, but he could feel the control he had over it this time. He pushed away the pain in his head so he could focus, trying to relearn how to make his mouth speak words as he also tried to bring images into focus.

 “Central Cinnamon Rolls, neon, closed, First Street…stars, the big dipper, north star…construction site, skyscrapers, junkyard, crane, trucks, bulldozer… pop can, Pepsi… street, Big Belly Burger, Thai food, oh that place sucks…playground, slide, curved slide, two swings, jungle gym, apartment buildings, Trickster?... Grass, picnic table…rocks, gravel, empty lot, brick building, old sign…apartment, couch, pictures, Barry, Oliver, so weird, another Barry, again?”

 “What?!” Iris broke his train of thought this time, staring at the last several words she’d just written. Cisco opened his eyes, put down the piece and held his head again.

 “Oohh my head is killing me now.”

 “Cisco, what did you say about Barry?” Iris was shaking his shoulder, trying to get him to focus.

 “If I said it you wrote it, you know what I said.”

“What did you see?” Her tone was rapidly growing angry, the stress taking its toll.

 “I saw…an apartment, and Barry was sitting on the couch, and the other man sitting on the couch was Barry too, except he looked just a little off, older maybe. And then Oliver Queen walked in, but he looked very different, he had this mustache and goatee, and this ridiculous Robin Hood hat with his mask.”

 “Why would he have a mask on?”

 “Ummmm because…he’s the Arrow? Or was, anyway.” Cisco glanced her way to see how she was taking that.

 It was a testament to how much she wanted to hear anything about Barry how fast she processed that little fact and moved on. “What else?”

 “Something about an anklet, and house arrest, but it was world arrest, and he keeps trying to get back on his own and is going to be hurt and Barry said it wasn’t his fault he doesn’t even know he’s doing it. And then you started talking.” Cisco massaged his temples. The pain was starting to ebb. “Maybe I was dreaming that sounds like some kind of whacked out nightmare.”

 Iris gave him a shrewd glance. “You don’t think that.”

 Cisco stared straight ahead, blowing out a breath, afraid to get his hopes up. “No. I don’t.”

 Iris looked to be in exactly the same position. She held her breath, then asked, “What do you think?”

 Cisco glanced at the paper full of hastily scribbled writing. “I think we need to go searching for these other places I saw. I have a theory, and I need to see if I can back it up.”

 Iris stood up. “Let me get my coat.”

 

* * *

 

 Martin Stein was sound asleep at 6am when his cell phone woke him. Cisco was on the other end, and he was so excited Martin could barely detect anything but individual syllables.

 After making out “Barry—need you—S.T.A.R. Labs” Martin agreed to meet him, then rolled out of bed with an annoyed sigh and started to get dressed. Clarissa’s head lifted off her pillow.

 “Martin? Is everything okay?”

 “Everything’s fine, dear. I think. Cisco wants to talk about something. I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

 If he’d had any idea what was really going on, he might have used a different word. Once Martin arrived at S.T.A.R. Labs he walked into the main cortex to see two extremely coffee-fueled individuals chattering in what sounded like chipmunk frequencies as they poured over several assorted pieces of metal fragments arranged on a table. Dark circles and lines were forming under both Cisco and Iris’ eyes, but neither seemed to care. Cisco chugged the rest of his latest coffee and bit off a piece of licorice with vigor before he presented his findings to Martin, whom Iris escorted to a chair so fast he felt like he had roller skates on. He sat in front of the table with the metal fragments, observing both people with a wary look as he waited.

 Cisco took a deep breath, trying to slow his breathing and speech so he could be clear. Iris could hardly hold still next to him, bouncing with excitement.

 “Okay, Martin, we would like to know if you have ever entertained the theory of multiple universes, or multiple worlds.”

 Martin blinked. Maybe he should have stopped for coffee himself before he came in. It was too early to be thinking about things like this.

 “Uh, well, I’ve never written anything on it, but I’ve heard the theories. The ‘bubble universe’ idea, that if our universe is ever-expanding then new so-called ‘bubble universes’ are constantly forming next to and around us...”

 Cisco was jittering his nods. They ran so close together that he looked like he might be vibrating for a moment. “Yes, yes, yes, but what if those bubble universes all exist on their very own frequency? And what if someone would just need to tap into those frequencies to see them?”

 Martin stared. “What?!”

 It took another twenty minutes to fully explain Cisco’s abilities, because at this point even Cisco didn’t truly understand them. But he did know enough. Martin’s jaw dropped once he heard about the timeline Barry reset that Cisco never forgot, Eobard’s revelations, and the piece of metal that he had touched the night before.

 That led to a new explanation of everything he’d seen. Iris presented the list Cisco had dictated to her. Martin was an intelligent man, and he started to formulate the same theory Cisco had as the story came out.

 “That piece came from the singularity?”

 “Yes! You see?”

 “I do. Did you—”

 “—go searching for all the other pieces based on the locations I saw when I touched the first one? Yes we did!”

 “What did you find?” Martin’s voice was breathless.

 “We found pieces at that playground the Trickster parachute bombed last year, one in the street down the road from a Big Belly Burger and a really bad Thai place—”

 Iris jumped in. “We found the construction site, it’s the building that was broken apart the day of the singularity, they’re clearing out the site to start rebuilding, and—”

 “—we searched the entire radius of the singularity and finally found the old Pepsi can with a piece right next to it!” Cisco finished triumphantly.

 Martin stood up, glancing over the table with the pieces. “And what didn’t you find?”

 “We can’t find the piece that looks up at the stars, we could search for a month and not find it, there’s nothing else to go on, and we can’t find the empty lot with the old sign and brick building next to it.” Iris looked far too happy delivering such news.

 Martin gave them an expectant look. “And?”

 Cisco laid down his last piece of evidence with the confidence of a poker player with a straight flush. “There is no Central Cinnamon Rolls company on First Street. That business doesn’t exist anywhere in Central City…in this world. Professor Stein, we think Barry somehow crossed a universe that day. We think he’s trapped in another world, and he’s trying to get home.” 

 

* * *

 

 By the time Martin had called in Joe, Caitlin and Ronnie, it was 8 am and he was gibbering as badly as Iris and Cisco were, completely unaided by caffeine of any sort.

 There were quite a few surprised exclamations as the evidence and story were laid out.

 Ronnie was staring at the assorted metal pieces on the table. “So, these were all part of the accretion disc in the singularity? And they fell when Barry broke it apart.”

 “Yup.” Cisco’s exhaustion was starting to catch up with him, but he wasn’t slowing down. “And a few ended up in the same world Barry did, and some stayed in ours.”

 “And they all have the same unique frequency?” Caitlin picked up a piece, unable to feel anything different about it.

 Martin was getting very excited about the theory. “They’ve all been affected! They all have a unique signature due to the heat and stress and being part of the massive energy event of a black hole! They, and we think now Barry, all bear this unique frequency, and the fact that pieces remain in both worlds provides us with a bridge from one to the other.” He paused for breath. “Well, maybe not a bridge, perhaps a telegraph line? But you see what I mean? This unique signature they all have, we can’t detect it, would never think of checking for it, but Cisco can! He can detect it when he touches them. He’s our telegraph line.”

 Joe was staring at Cisco. “I thought that was just some kinda fluke, you remembering that other timeline. You have metahuman abilities?” He shook his head, still coming to grips with that.

 Martin had already done that hours ago. “It would appear so. But without this ability, we might never have discovered what happened to Barry that day. And we certainly wouldn’t be able to entertain the notion of somehow getting him back.”

 Joe’s shock registered in every cell of his body. “Wait—you—you think you might be able to help him cross back?”

 Martin raised his hands. “Why not? He managed to cross over from here. I’m going to need some new dry erase markers, I have to start assembling this data to ascertain how it might be done.” He was already rubbing his hands together, moving toward a board in the corner.

 Caitlin stepped forward. “What can we do, Dr. Stein?”

 Martin looked at the assembled group. Ronnie stood at attention, ready to build anything that might be useful. Caitlin was by his side, ready to put her intelligence to any puzzle she was asked to. He looked at Cisco, exhausted but happier than he’d seen him in a long time, and Joe, just barely hopeful that he might get Barry back somehow. And finally he looked at Iris, who was two minutes away from falling asleep but looking more peaceful than she had since Eddie died. The invigoration of new hope and energy could be felt in the air. This team was ready and willing to do whatever it took. They had felt fractured apart since Barry disappeared, but now they were coming together.

 He smiled. “We’re going to need lots of coffee…and maybe some sleep first for you two.” He pointed at Iris and Cisco.

 The group went separate ways but with one purpose in mind.

 Iris hugged her father, who held onto her longer than necessary, and then headed out with Cisco, each headed for home. They were in the hallway alone before she spoke again.

 “Don’t want them, huh, Cisco?”

 Cisco’s tired face split into a smile. “Okay, I want them. Screw you Eobard. We’re getting Barry back.”

  

* * *

 

 Iris took the day off and went to sleep. After getting proper rest she headed back out to S.T.A.R. Labs, but made a detour to Iron Heights prison first. Seeing Henry walk in and sit down made her smile. She should have come to see him long ago. They both picked up the phone.

 “Iris! How are you?” His eyes were lined and weary, but still so concerned for her.

 “I’m…doing okay.” For once, it felt true. “I should’ve come to see you before now, I just…didn’t know what to say…” Her voice drifted away.

 Henry smiled gently. “You were dealing with your own problems. I was so sorry to learn about Eddie.”

 She nodded and managed a smile. “Thank you.”

 “So, what can I do for you?” Henry flashed her a smile that reminded her of his son.

 “Actually it’s more what I can do for you, but I thought you should know. We think we might know what happened to Barry that day.”

 He perked up immediately. “Really?”

 “Yes, and we think he’s alive but trapped. We’re trying to figure out how to get him back.” Iris simply couldn’t stop the hope rising in her eyes, in her voice. It was all over her face.

 She expected to see the same thing in Henry, but instead he smiled, utterly at peace. “It’s about time. That boy is always late.”

 Iris stared at him. “What do you mean? You knew about this?”

 Henry shrugged. “No, I didn’t know. But I had faith that he’d come back. It didn’t make sense he could be dead. I’ve just been waiting. It was a matter of time. I won’t say it was easy, but I’m glad it didn’t take nine months this time.” His eyes sparkled at her from the other side of the glass.

 Iris laughed. A true, honest laugh emerged as she smiled at him. “Henry, I should have come to see you a lot sooner. Would’ve done me good.”

 Henry laughed too. “I’ve always had faith in him. He hasn’t let me down yet. He thinks he has, but he hasn’t. And now, he just needs to have faith in you and the crew at S.T.A.R. Labs. You’ll get him home. I have no doubt.”

 For the first time in a long time, Iris felt lighter. “I definitely should’ve come to see you sooner Henry. I won’t take so long next time.” She graced him with a fond smile.

 “I like the sound of that. There’s nothing like your ray of sunshine to break up the monotony in here, Iris.”

 

 


	11. Central Singularity Cinnamon Frequency Rolls (say that 5 times fast)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bear and his team get closer to a solution, and a cinnamon roll or two.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Thursday! Have a chapter!  
> Thanks for all your comments and support, you guys are the best and it means so much to me.  
> Thanks for reading, hope you enjoy it! :)

 

Eddie, his wife and the thief had turned the corner and were well out of sight before Bear turned to Barry.

 “Do you mind if we walk? I think I need it.”

 Barry shrugged. “Sure.”

 They turned in unison to walk down the sidewalk, unaware of how identical their movement was. The silence was comfortable as they cleared a few blocks, which was to be expected considering each was essentially walking with only themselves for company. Bear had thought time travel was strange, but this beat everything so far. At least before when he saw himself he knew it was still a future or past version of the person he was now. Barry was him and yet not him. The man was like him in many ways, but with his own past experiences and struggles, not to mention a wife and babies on the way.

 Barry glanced his way and noticed his expression. “What?”

 Bear shrugged. “It’s just so different here, but it’s not. You know?”

 Barry nodded his understanding, wondering why a blond man named Eddie would bring Bear down so low. “Alternate worlds are really weird, Bear.”

 Bear asked before he could stop himself. “How did you and Iris meet?”

 Bear waited for Barry to object, citing possible complications that arose from knowing too much information, but instead Barry’s face creased in an immediate smile. “I got lucky.” He glanced over and noticed Bear’s slightly irritated look. “Oh, you want the whole story? It’s pretty basic. She was working a story and wanted some information, so she visited the precinct and Captain Singh told her I’d be the best one to ask. She found me at work in my lab. She was so gorgeous, Bear. I remember just staring for a second before I realized she was introducing herself and had her hand out. I swear, I felt sparks when I shook it. Iris says I’m romanticizing it, but I felt it. So we talked and I gave her the basic forensic facts she was looking for, and the whole time I’m thinking I should ask her out, but I’m just so sure she’d laugh at me. I mean, look at her, she could have any guy she wants!”

 Bear nodded, repressing a smile. He remembered staring at his own Iris more than once as she walked into his lab looking gorgeous as usual. “So did you ask her out?”

 Barry’s face fell slightly. “I…I tried, but the words just didn’t come out. I thought she’d never say yes. So I let the opportunity go and figured I’d saved myself a rejection.”

 Bear completely understood. “We’re more alike than you think, Barry.” Barry flashed him a look of gratitude, very aware that he had spent much of his time laughing at Bear for various reasons. Bear returned it and they both felt the reality of their love for a woman they were sure was far out of their league. Bear prodded the conversation forward. “So if you didn’t ask her out, how did you get a date?”

 Barry’s face melted into warm fondness for the memory. “I walked her to the stairs, and she was about to leave and then turned to me and point-blank asked me why I hadn’t asked her out yet. I just stared at her for a moment, I was in total shock. I think I mumbled something like ‘You mean you’d say yes?’ and she gave me that Iris look. You know the one?”

 “Ooh yes, I know the one.” Barry laughed.

 “So I realized if I didn’t do it now I was going to blow it for good, and I managed to mumble something about her maybe going to dinner with me. She said she was free that night. The rest is history.”

 Bear snorted lightly. “You _are_ spoiled, I don’t care what anyone says.”

 Barry’s look was surprised. “It wasn’t like that for you?”

 “Yeah, um, no. Definitely not that easy.” Bear tried to suppress the jealousy creeping up. He couldn’t believe Barry had ended up with the girl of his dreams that quickly.

 “Yeah, but I bet you got other good things to balance it out.” Barry paused. “Right?”

 Bear opened his mouth to disagree, but the words never verbalized as jumbled memories surfaced. Iris standing at the top of the stairs the night his mother died, telling him she believed him when he told her his father didn’t do it. Iris in pajamas and fuzzy slippers watching movies with him because she knew he was afraid to go to bed. Helping her with her homework because she didn’t really enjoy science as much as he did but wanted to keep up her GPA. Growing up together. Talking all night. Iris smiling at him and hugging him a million different times, kissing his forehead before he left to save his mother and telling him she hopes what he finds is enough and makes him happy. Iris in a forgotten timeline telling him that she didn’t want to stop thinking about him, and the kiss that forever haunted his dreams since, the feeling of his lips on hers, her smile and the look in her eyes. Even knowing she remembered none of it didn’t dull the beauty of that moment in Bear’s mind. At least it was something.

 He’d meant it on the roof when he told Iris that he’d had a good life. Just because it was different than Barry’s didn’t mean he couldn’t choose to appreciate it. “Yeah. Yeah, I got other good things, you’re right.” A thought struck. “Wait! Were you already the Flash when you and Iris started dating?”

 Barry paused. “Yeah…”

 “How did that go down? Did you tell her right away, or after you’d been dating a while?”

 “Not exactly…” Barry ran a hand over the back of his neck, a sure sign that he was uncomfortable.

 Bear pounced. “What happened?”

 “I…kind of…talk in my sleep.” Barry was mumbling, as if he hoped Bear wouldn’t truly understand.

 “You—what?” Bear stopped walking and turned to face Barry, who halted as well. Barry’s face was starting to flush even in the dim light.

 “I might have mumbled something in my sleep that tipped her off that I was the Flash.”

 Bear was torn between simply gaping at his counterpart and bursting out laughing. Gaping seemed to be the clear winner, because Bear needed another question answered.

“Was she mad? I bet she was mad.”

 “No, actually she wasn’t all that angry. We’d been dating for quite a while, I was getting ready to pop the question. She just didn’t say anything. She let me keep lying to her for several more months, even when the Flash helped her out a few times. God, it was horrifying when I looked back on it later.”

 Bear could just picture Barry digging himself a deeper grave with every lie he told. It sounded familiar, actually. Like when Iris had figured out Bear was the Flash and come to his lab. Bear had just held onto the lie, but it had only made him feel worse when she confronted him. He could only imagine how guilty Barry must have felt when he finally realized she knew and had known for months.

 In many ways, it was the perfect revenge.

 The laughter rolled out then, uncontrolled as Bear pictured it. “Ohmygod Barry!” He had to pause for breath. “She played you for months! That’s hilarious!” He burst out laughing again, bent over and weak. Barry gave him an annoyed look but eventually chuckled as well. Bear eventually straightened back up and put both hands behind his head, grinning broadly. Finally they began walking again. Once Bear had stopped laughing he pressed for more.

 “How did you find out she knew?”

 “She told me she knew I was the Flash. Just told me straight out. I almost had a heart attack. But she also told me that she’d been hiding something too, and she understood why I did. She had never told me she was an orphan. She’d been pretending her parents were rich, world-traveling jet-setters the whole time I’d known her. Once we talked she told me that being without parents since she was a baby made her wonder if she was somehow unworthy of love, unlovable. Maybe she had been abandoned, or discarded. And she was scared to tell me because she thought it would change how I saw her.”

 Bear came to a screeching halt again, all levity gone instantly. “No. No way. I never got a chance to meet her mother, but no way her father didn’t love her. I don’t care what world this is. It’s not possible, believe me.”

 Barry smiled. “That’s what I told her. I can’t imagine her parents not loving her. _I_ can’t imagine not loving her! We’re still not sure what happened, but that just can’t be true. I’ll be sure to tell her that.”

 “Please do.” They resumed their walk once more. Bear found himself thinking of his own world. He didn’t mind it here, but he didn’t belong here. He really hoped they could find a way to get him back. He suddenly had a great desire to hug his Iris and never let go.

 He glanced Barry’s way and was glad that a Barry in any world had found his Iris, and that they were together and happy. His jealousy faded away.

 “Tell me about our parents here.”

 Barry tried to hide his surprise. “Not much to say. They were wonderful parents. I was blessed to have them while I grew up. Their car slid into oncoming traffic in a winter storm. That was about six months before I met Iris. I just wish they could’ve met her. And I wish they were here for their grandchildren.” Barry frowned at the sidewalk.

 Bear clapped a hand on Barry’s shoulder. “I understand, Barry. We have great parents. That’s what counts.”

 Barry smiled. “Choose to be happy, right?”

 “Right.”

 “Okay then, right now I choose to be home in less than a minute so I can happily hold my wife.”

 “I’d do the same if I were you.”

 They sped off into the night.

  

* * *

 

 Iris was sitting at her computer when they arrived, deep in the middle of her current article. She squeaked in surprise as Barry swooped in the door and picked her before she realized he was there.

 “Barry Allen, I have told you not to do that!”

 Barry’s voice adopted a wheedling tone. “I can’t help it, I’ve been away from you too long.” His arms cradled her close, his face moving close to hers for a kiss. She giggled as she allowed it, kissing him back quickly before pushing at his chest and glancing at Bear.

 “Put me down, you’ll embarrass Bear.” Reluctantly Barry set her down.

 Bear was watching with a fond smile on his face. “Oh I’m not the one embarrassed, I’d say that’s you, Iris. Barry, continue on.”

 Barry’s laugh was forestalled as Iris gave them both a look. “Don’t think you two can team up on me. I can still take you both, pregnant or not.” Despite her tiny size, her ferocity was to be taken seriously.

 Barry gave Bear a resigned look filled with mirth. “She’s got us there, Bear.” Bear had to agree.

 It was probably lucky that a cell phone rang just then. Iris answered hers and moved to another room to talk with her boss about the article she was finishing. Bear and Barry dropped onto the couch, discussing what to do for dinner.  

 Oliver walked in the front door, doffing his hat and mask. “Hey, I heard about the anklet thing. Are you on house arrest now?” He gave Bear a smirk.

 Bear shook his head as Barry replied. “More like world arrest. Hopefully we can all get some sleep tonight, I’m exhausted. He keeps trying to get back on his own, and he’s going to get hurt.”

 “It’s not my fault,” Bear protested, “I don’t even know I’m doing it.” He shook his head slightly, feeling woozy all of a sudden.

 Oliver and Barry both noticed. Both were suddenly intently gazing at him. “You okay?”

 Bear shook his head. “Yeah, I’m fine.” The feeling slipped away, allowing him to look back at both of his observers and smile to demonstrate his statement. Both leaned back, still watchful.

 Oliver pointed at Bear’s foot. “Let’s see it.”

 Bear raised a pant leg to show the anklet. “It’s not switched on right now, just getting used to it.”

 Oliver’s phone rang, so he stood and moved away as he answered it. Iris emerged from the bedroom, hanging up her phone. “I think we need pizza tonight, boys. Is Oliver staying for dinner? I get whole wheat crust with extra veggies, how about you?”

 No reply could be heard over the shrill screeching that was suddenly emerging from Oliver’s phone. He held it away from his ear with a grimace, waiting for it to be over. Audio feedback and static mingled with the sound, rendering it the type of sound heard in bad horror movies. Bear couldn’t imagine what was making the original noise.

 The sound suddenly cut off, so Oliver put the phone back to his ear, only to yank it away again as the sound resumed.

 Barry shook his head. “Are you guys still fighting? What did you say to her?” Oliver shook his head at Barry, but that did little to explain it.

 Bear mouthed _“Her?”_ to Iris, who moved closer and whispered back to him.

 “Dinah.”

 Bear nodded, then realized he still had no idea who that was.

 The screeching sound finally stopped once more. Oliver hesitantly put the phone back to his ear, then relaxed when he heard an actual voice. “Did you get ‘em?...Great. Nice work, babe.”

 “Ooohhh,” Barry finally understood. “She’s fighting crime at the moment. Well, that’s a good sign.”

 Oliver gave a thumbs-up from across the room, which Bear took to mean that he and Dinah were working through some issues.

  

* * *

 

 The following week was busy as Harrison and Tess continued to work on a possible way to get Bear home. The first night proved that the anklet worked perfectly, and everyone was able to catch up on sleep. Bear was frequently called to come back to S.T.A.R. Labs and submit to more testing and theorizing.

 The breakthrough came at the end of the week. Bear arrived at S.T.A.R. Labs with Barry and Iris, who was very interested in learning more details. After appropriate introductions were made Tess checked Barry’s body frequency one more time, then Harrison laid out several papers with data on them. His eyes were gleaming with excitement, so much that he reminded Bear uncomfortably of Eobard. Bear pushed those thoughts away and tried to focus.

 “You, Mr. Allen—Bear, I mean—have a very unique frequency signature. Very unique.”

 Bear nodded, sitting next to the table and glancing at the data. “Yeah, but we kinda already figured that since I’m from a world with a different frequency.”

 “No, no, no.” Tess interjected, smiling as usual. “When Harrison says very unique, he means flat-out amazing.”

 Harrison gave his wife a smile. “Tess is right. There is something at work here that we have never seen before, and it truly is amazing. It took us several tests and a different analysis to even find it, but we did.” He pulled up a graphic on a nearby monitor screen. There were two lines running across it. “This,” Harrison pointed at the lower, blue line “is your natural frequency, Bear. Different than Barry’s, your baseline frequency, if you will. This is due to you naturally belonging to a different world with a different frequency.” Harrison stopped to make sure all present understood. All three nodded.

 Bear pointed to the upper red line. “If the bottom one is my basic frequency, then what’s that?”

 Harrison’s eyes began to gleam even more, if that were possible. “This line, Bear,” he pointed at the appropriate line “is an added, overlaying frequency.”

 “What?” Barry practically yelped. “How is that possible?”

 “It is possible, Mr. Allen, because Bear was deep inside a singularity.” Harrison turned to his wife. “Tess?”

 Tess moved to the screen and pointed at the red line. “This frequency overlays your natural one, Bear, because of the intense heat and stress and heaven only knows what else you were exposed to inside the singularity. The way your body works and functions to provide you with super speed allowed it to overlay this new frequency. This is part of why you were having troubles crossing through frequencies in your sleep. These two were both competing in your body, but your basic one is always the dominant. However, your little adventure with Captain Cold’s cold field aggravated the condition. It depressed your natural frequency quite a bit, even when you were feeling better, and temporarily allowed the singularity frequency to dominate. Your body was searching through frequencies trying to stabilize itself.”

 Bear’s forehead was wrinkled in thought. “So I wasn’t trying to get home by myself?”

 Harrison smiled. “I still think there may have been an emotional element to that as well, Bear. But the dual frequencies and cold field combination was what made the situation so dire that night.”

 Iris had been following the conversation quietly. “So how does this help Bear get home?”

 “Ah!” Harrison lit up. “Well, Bear’s dual frequency has given us another idea.” He turned to Bear. “Do you remember any wreckage or debris falling with you after you shattered the accretion disc?”

 Bear tried to remember. “I…I think so.” He tried to recall the exact order of events that day. His head came up. “Yes, yes there was. I spotted them as I fell, I was waiting for Firestorm to catch me, and as I spun in the air I saw several pieces of debris falling with me. I remember hoping they wouldn’t hurt anyone when they landed.”

 Harrison snapped his fingers. “Excellent! That’s what we want.” He gave the two speedsters a considering look. “I don’t suppose it’s too much to ask for you to canvas the city and find them?”

 Bear stood up. “Not if it gets me home.”

 Barry agreed. “Just tell me what to look for, Bear.”

 Papers flew off the table as they left.

 

* * *

 

  It took twenty minutes of scouring the city to find three pieces, and that was only because the last one was located on an office building rooftop. The other two were quickly found as they raced up and down city blocks and through alleyways: One in an empty lot next to a brick building, cradled in an old sign, and one lying next to a business called central Cinnamon Rolls. (Barry quickly grabbed a box and left a generous tip with his payment.)

 They returned triumphantly with two quite large chunks of metal about the size of a dinner platter, and one the size of a cell phone. Barry accepted his wife’s grateful kiss on his cheek before she happily bit into a cinnamon roll.

 Harrison and Tess immediately began working on the metal pieces to see what (if any) data they could glean.

 Bear was just finishing his own cinnamon roll when they appeared back in the room, very flustered and rushing right to him. Harrison squinted at him and looked him up and down while Tess felt his forehead. “Ummm what’s going on?”

 “How are you feeling? Are you okay?”

 “Yeah, I’m fine. Why?” Bear remembered suddenly. “Well, I did feel dizzy a second ago, but I thought it was my blood sugar.”

 Harrison and Tess looked at each other. Barry and Iris were staring intently now. Bear felt a pang of unease. “What?”

 Harrison produced the smallest piece of metal and laid it on the table. For a few anticlimactic seconds it did nothing, but then it shivered slightly. Bear’s jaw dropped. The piece shimmered, lightly vibrating off and on, off and on, while everyone watched with baited breath. Finally, it lay still and didn’t move.

 “What was that?” Barry’s voice was quiet.

 Harrison looked at Bear. “That was something, or someone affecting the vibrations of that piece. Which, incidentally, Bear, is exactly the same as your secondary singularity frequency. That’s why you felt off for a moment. You all share it.”

 Tess moved closer. “We are theorizing that there are pieces left in your world that share this same frequency, there would have to be after the accretion disc shattered. Someone is affecting them. Do you have any ideas?”

 Bear shrugged. “No, I’ve never fought a metahuman that can do that. Pied Piper produced sonic waves but he had gloves that did it. I don’t see how this could be him.”

 Barry raised a hand, gaining the others’ attention. “Bear, have you ever dealt with anyone who seemed to know about or be able to see other timelines? Timelines are part of the vibrations of a universe as well. Anyone like that?”

 Bear’s face went blank with shock. “Cisco.”

 “Who?”

 “What?”

 “Cisco Ramon, he works at the S.T.A.R. Labs in my world. He helps me be the Flash. I accidentally time-traveled once and went back a day. After I reset it, Cisco could still remember what happened to him the first time around.”

 Barry’s face was unreadable for a moment. “You work with Vibe?” Barry’s voice was half relieved and half deeply saddened. Iris laid a hand on her husband’s arm.

 “Who?” But Barry just shook his head, sharing a look with Iris. Barry got the idea that if Cisco had been in this world, he wasn’t anymore. The thought made his gut twist.

 Tess spoke gently, not wanting to be disrespectful but anxious to know more. “What can Cisco do? Does he have powers?”

 Barry nodded, swallowing. “Yeah, he could—he sees the vibrations of the universe, but it’s more than that. He could track interdimensional breaches, he could control molecular vibration, he was a great breakdancer, and he could create sh—”

 “Molecular vibration, that’s it!” Harrison cut in. “Bear, in your world Cisco is tapping into the frequencies of these pieces, and since they and you are all related and unique, you are all being affected.”

 Tess picked up exactly where her husband was going. “That means we might have a thread, a way to communicate of sorts.” She turned to Bear. “Do you think your people are able to discover where you are and what happened to you?”

 Bear’s mind immediately produced an image of his friends at S.T.A.R. Labs. Martin, and Cisco, Caitlin and Ronnie, Joe and Iris. “If Cisco has discovered one of the pieces and realized he can tap into its frequency, then yes, I bet they can. They’re very smart. But Cisco’s powers aren’t really developed, in fact I don’t think I realized that he was a metahuman until just now.”

 “Getting a friend back is good motivation to explore them, though.” Harrison looked deep in thought. “If he can somehow tap into the frequency deep enough, and then project the correct frequency for Bear’s world over it, Bear could tune into it and phase there without doing it blind.” He looked up at the rest of the group. All but Tess looked dumbfounded.

 Bear felt like he was standing on the edge of the Grand Canyon looking down. “I’ve only done it once. I don’t know if I can do it right, this is big.”

 Barry tapped his shoulder. “We’ll practice together, you’ll get better.” He looked at Harrison. “He’ll need a safe place to get up to speed to able to do it. Preferably a loop.”

 Harrison knew exactly where Barry’s thoughts were going. “The particle accelerator will do just fine.”

 Iris asked the obvious question no one had given a thought to. “How are we going to have any idea when this could happen? We don’t want to miss it.”

 Harrison’s mouth opened, then closed. Tess looked deep in thought. Barry looked to Bear. Bear looked back to Iris.

 “No idea,” Bear admitted.

 Iris looked at them. “There are three pieces, why don’t we split them up. One for Harrison and Tess, one for Barry and me, and one for Bear. If it vibrates strong enough for long enough one of us will notice and we can try it. It won’t take Bear long to get here.”

 Harrison glanced at his wife, who was staring at the pages of data on the table. “Mind spending a few nights in the medical bay here, hon? That way we’ll be on call, hopefully not for too long.”

 Tess finally spoke, still staring at the papers. “Not long is the only window we have. We were just noticing this before the piece started moving, Harrison. Look at this.” She pushed the papers across the table at the group, spreading them into a line. She pointed to the first in line. “This is Bear’s secondary frequency the first time we tested it.” She laid another at the end. “This is the one we did today.” Everyone could see the clear movement of the red upper line lowering gradually every page.

 Bear stared at it and felt his stomach drop. “The secondary frequency is fading.”

 Harrison sighed. “It was only a matter of time. You are a living organism, and your body is adapting and shedding the secondary one. Those pieces of metal are inanimate, they won’t change, but you will and you are.”

 “Your rapidly reproducing cells are making that a very easy job, too.” Barry murmured behind Bear.

 “How long?” Bear felt like he was asking how much longer he had to live.

 Harrison plotted each piece of paper. “It’s fading pretty quickly. The pattern is accelerating the more the signal fades. This last one is less than half what it was the day before. Once it’s in line with your natural frequency it will be canceled out and lost. Following its current pattern, we have maybe twenty-four to forty-eight hours.”

 Barry shook his head. “But that doesn’t matter, does it? If he holds a metal piece, and taps into that frequency—”

 Harrison was already shaking his head as Tess replied. “Bear has to have that secondary frequency in himself to be able to tap into whatever Cisco is projecting. Otherwise he will simply tap into the singularity frequency of the piece. With his body already possessing the singularity frequency, he can hone in on a new one and the piece would be the conductor for the world frequency Cisco is projecting. It would allow him to lock onto it and phase. But without his secondary frequency, Bear can’t receive the right one for his world.”

 Barry traded a glance with Iris as he ran a hand across his face. “Oh God, you’re right, Tess.”

 Bear was still staring at the table. “So Cisco has one to two days to develop powers no one realized he had and figure out how to project to another _world_ , and I have one or two days to master phasing and make sure I don’t miss the call.”

 Tess gave him a look full of compassion. “Pretty much.”

 “Or I’m screwed.” Bear couldn’t stop the tension that crept into his tone.

 Tess nodded. “Or you’re screwed.”

It was too bad Cisco wasn’t around in this world, because right now Bear really needed a joke to lighten the mood.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaand things are going to get crazy now! Full speed ahead! Everybody buckle up, please.
> 
> Very sorry if the science babble is difficult. I tried hard to make it as clear as possible, and warped my brain a few times doing it. It all makes sense in a sci-fi way but I'll never claim it's real science, lol. That's pretty much how the show rolls too though, so....
> 
> Comic readers may identify some comic world features here. Black Canary's canary cry (this one is her natural ability) pops up, and Barry and Iris' meeting and first date may not be exactly like the comics, but it was inspired by them. The same is true for Barry talking in his sleep and the fact that Iris knew Barry was the Flash for a while and didn't tell him. (Hahaha, I loved that.)
> 
> In the comics Vibe was killed in the line of duty so I reflected that here as well. Also, comics Vibe was indeed a talented breakdancer. ;)


	12. (bad Kung Fu movie overdub) Judge me by my size, do you?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The calm before the storm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so one chapter became two. My bad. Enjoy this one, the next will follow shortly.   
> Thanks for reading, commenting, and supporting! :)   
> You guys rock!

 

“Try again.”

 “My head still hurts from last time.”

 “Oh I know that feeling. Try again.”

 Bear breathed out a breath. “Okay.”

 The particle accelerator was dimly lit, and it looked exactly the same as the last time Bear had been in one. It was actually disturbing. There were times he expected to look up and see Eobard pressing against the glass of his cell, watching him run. He was finding it hard to concentrate on phasing instead of time travel, less speed and more speed force.

 So far his attempts to phase through a wall of the accelerator had been only semi-successful. He’d phased, but only barely enough to get through the wall, and Barry and he both felt that he’d need to be able to sustain phasing for even longer to be able to make it through to his world without getting stuck in between. His last effort had been his worst thus far, when he’d felt like he started solidifying too early and almost got his head stuck.

 Barry stood opposite him with his arms crossed, brows knitted together in concentration. Bear waited, sure he had something to say.

 “It feels like you’re holding back. You’re resisting it. You don’t want to stay here, do you?”

 Bear shook his head. “No, I don’t.” He tried to figure out how much he should say without causing problems, but finally just let it spill out. “The man who taught me to phase was someone I looked up to and thought I could trust. Turned out he had killed—someone close to me and manipulated most of my life. The singularity that reopened in my world did it” he pointed down the cavernous heart of the accelerator “right there. I think I’m just having some bad memories, and I don’t like thinking about him when I’m trying to do this, but I can’t stop it either.”

 Barry pursed his lips as he thought for a moment. “Iris is right, you have suffered more. There is some doubt in there that I just don’t have. I’m so sorry.”

 Bear’s smile was brittle. “Great. So I’m too damaged to do this?”

 “No! But you aren’t trusting yourself.” He waited for some kind of denial, but Bear just looked at him. The silence was an affirmation. Barry tried a different angle. “You remember much of that ‘dream’ you were having when you were stuck and I had to find your frequency and help you get out?”

 Bear shrugged slightly. “I think I was mostly reliving some of those memories. That’s what I was doing the night before too.”

 Barry nodded. “It wasn’t all that clear, but I do remember entering that memory. I had to climb in through a huge hole that dropped into an accelerator and grab you by the shoulders to get your attention. I noticed that someone else was there, but I didn’t focus on him too much. It must’ve been Cisco.” He looked at Bear, but the other just shrugged his shoulders, wondering where he was going with this. “Bear, I think you were caught up in _Cisco’s_ dream about those events. He was subconsciously projecting it, you were traveling frequencies but that one stalled you and you got tangled in your emotions. There was a lot of chaos and stress happening there.”

 “What’s your point?” Bear’s voice was terse.

 “My point is that if that memory hadn’t slowed you down, or stopped you because it affected you so much, it would have been much harder for me to echo your frequency and find you. Those events were terrible and traumatic, I’m sure, but something good came of it too. This is the same. Whoever this traitor was, however he affected your life, he taught you the skill that is going to get you home. Stop trying to block it and just let it flow. You’re doubting yourself. _You_ are holding yourself back. The only thing standing in the way of you doing this is you. ”

 Bear looked away. “He said almost those same words to me.”

 “Well, he was right. Whatever else he did, he gave some good advice. Use it and get home.”

 Bear exhaled roughly, then nodded. Barry moved back to observe.

 Bear started running. He ran a few laps in the accelerator to warm up. Then he ran a few more. Hesitantly, almost unwillingly, he allowed that voice to bubble up in his memory.

  _“Breathe…breathe…”_ Bear pushed away unpleasant emotions and focused on his breathing.

_“Feel the air…feel that wind on your face…”_ He could feel the wind rushing past, the lightning and power.

_“Barry, feel the lightning…feel its power…traveling to every nerve of your body…like a shock…”_ He did feel it. The shock running through his core, out to his extremities, his feet pushing off the ground. He closed his eyes for a moment, recognizing this feeling now.

_“You’re no longer you now. You’re part of something greater…part of a speed force…it’s yours…now do it.”_

He phased through the five thin partitions Barry had speedily moved into his way.

 Bear popped out the other side and skidded to a stop before he turned around. Barry was grinning at him, peeping around the partitions. Bear tried to look upset, but he couldn’t hang onto it. “Cheater.”

 Barry laughed. “No, I just knew you were ready. I believe in you.”

 Bear looked at him, an older and more confident version of himself, and couldn’t find words. What Barry had said meant a lot. He smiled his thanks at Barry and hoped that he wouldn’t disappoint.

 Barry tipped his head toward the partitions. “Want to go for ten?”

  

* * *

 

 

 It was a few hours later when Bear phased through the front door of the apartment, startling Iris. She gasped and twitched on the couch, clutching her book to her chest before she relaxed again, her eyes alight.

 “Well, I see the phasing lessons have paid off. Feel ready?”

 Bear sat in the chair next to her. “I hope so. I phased through a garbage truck, two underpass pillars and a seafood market on my way here. By the way, don’t ever phase through a seafood market, it smells so terrible it’s hard to vibrate at the same frequency. Hopefully I’m good enough to get home.”

 “Where’s Barry?”

 “He dropped by his lab, he’ll be back in a few minutes.” Bear pulled his piece of metal out of his pocket. It was the smallest one, about the size of a cell phone. He placed it on the coffee table and stared at it. “So, no call yet?”

 Iris looked back up from her book and nodded to the larger piece she had on the end table next to her, eyes dancing. “Not that I’ve seen.”

 Bear knew that he would have noticed his own piece, but he couldn’t quite dispel his anxiety about missing the call.

 His face must have been easy to read, because Iris closed her book and leaned forward. “Don’t worry Bear, I’m sure your friends won’t waste time trying to reach out.”

 Bear nodded vigorously, trying to appear assured. “Yeah, I know.” Iris’ face changed abruptly, softening as a hand went to her belly. “Everything okay?”

 “Yeah, the babies are just moving.” She leaned back, trying to get comfortable and looked over at him. “Do you want to feel them?”

 Bear didn’t move. “Uhhhhh…”

 “Oh come on Bear, don’t tell me you’re afraid of feeling a pregnant woman’s stomach.” Her tone was chiding.

 “No, no it’s not that. It’s just…”

 “Just what?”

 Bear blushed slightly. “I’m sorry, I just didn’t want my first time feeling a baby move to be with someone who wasn’t my Iris. I wanted that first experience to be with her. I mean, I accidentally erased our first kiss, I don’t want to do that again. I’m sorry I know that sounds dumb.”

 He peeked at her to see if her feelings were hurt, but she looked very understanding. “That’s sweet, Bear. Are you close to this with your Iris?” She patted her rounded belly.

 His face froze and then slowly dropped into sad lines. “No. Not really.”

 “That’s okay, I’m sure you’ll get there.” Her tone had a measure of surety to it.

 “Yeah…I don’t know about that.” He gave her a quick, fake smile. Maybe the conversation would end now.

 But she was leaning forward again, brows drawn together. “Are you just dating still? Not married yet?”

 It was somewhat funny in a dark sort of way that Iris was so sure Bear and his Iris were together. He almost hated to pop that bubble. “No…we’re best friends, actually.”

 “But you love her.” She said it like it was so obvious. Probably because it was. She shifted a bit, the twins still active and distracting her.

 “Yeah. It’s…complicated.” One look her way told him there was no way she was going to let it end there. “One of the reasons I need to get back so badly is that she needs me right now.”

 “Well of course she does, Bear. She’ll always need you.”

 “No, I mean because she’s grieving. She just lost her boyfriend. He was killed right before I ended up here.”

 Her face went perfectly blank. “Oh.” She looked like she couldn’t even comprehend that possibility. Her hand rubbed her belly absently, and he realized how crazy everything sounded, and how remote his chances were at ever having the life he wanted with his Iris, even if he did beat the odds and make it home.

 His breath gusted out in a sigh. He was holding onto things that were never going to happen. He sat forward in his chair and reached out his hand. “Yeah, it doesn’t matter does it? Sorry. Are they still moving?”

 His hand was almost to her belly when she caught it in hers. “No, don’t.” He met her eyes in surprise.

 She held his hand in both of hers. “It does matter, Bear. There’s always hope.” Her smile was soft. “Don’t give up.”

 Bear stared at her for a moment, realizing that her words were meant to have a double meaning. He couldn’t believe she was so positive about everything, after the life she’d had. Iris was inspiring in any world. He smile, sincerely this time. “Barry is lucky to have you, Iris.”

 “See, I think it’s the other way around. Any Iris is lucky to have her Barry.” She gave him a teary smile. He squeezed her hand, then let go and moved to stand. She picked up her book and was flipping to the correct page before she spoke again. “I expect you to at least give me a thought when it happens for you, considering you’ll be back in your world and this opportunity will be long gone.” She gave him a sly glance, barely tipping her face so he could see her expression.

 Her stubborn belief that he would get back and be with Iris made him feel a little better. “Deal.”

 He was in the kitchen looking for something to snack on when he realized he’d left his metal piece on the table. He phased through the kitchen wall to check it.

 Iris barely blinked this time. She turned a page of her book. “A watched pot never boils, Bear.”

 “Dammit.” He phased back into the kitchen.

 

* * *

 

  ** _Central City_**

 

“Try it again.”

 “My head still hurts from last time.”

 “The glasses will help with that. Try again.”

 Cisco sighed. “Okay.”

 The cortex was now slightly cramped. Whiteboards with equations and designs took up space in every corner possible, and the large reclining chair Cisco was currently occupying sat in the middle. Martin was busy at a computer, checking his latest calculations.

 Everyone had been tirelessly working toward getting Barry back home. They all were low on sleep but still going. Cisco and Martin had spent time gathering data on the metal pieces and theorizing possible ways to reach out to Barry. After Cisco sat in a locked room for several hours experimenting where no one could watch, he and Martin had determined that the telegraph line provided by the pieces was the key, but they still weren’t sure how to use it.

 The most disturbing part had been the increasing difficulty Cisco was having connecting to Barry. All the other pieces were easy to connect with, and Cisco had been trying to increase it. He’d noted that the pieces in Barry’s world had moved. When he connected to them again they were lying on a table, all in the same place, and it looked like a lab of some sort so he was hoping that Barry was making similar connections and progress.

 But Barry had become much harder to find, almost blurry. When Cisco did find him he couldn’t maintain it as long. The sounds coming through were distorted, he couldn’t identify any speakers or even other faces. It was like Barry was drifting farther and farther away. Cisco was sure he was somehow doing something wrong, but Martin had told him it was more likely that Barry was losing the frequency that connected him to the singularity pieces. It made sense when Cisco thought about it, but a niggling doubt in the back of his mind still whispered that the problem was him.

 Either way, Martin had become more edgy about attempting to get Barry back sooner rather than later, since it looked very likely that they were on limited time. When he related it to the rest of the team, all decided to spend every minute possible at S.T.A.R. Labs.

 It wasn’t until the entire team was eating together, throwing thoughts around, that Caitlin provided the answer. She pointed her chopsticks at Cisco as she swallowed.

 “Remember when Barry phased to get the bomb off his wrist? Didn’t he have to vibrate to the frequency of air?”

 Cisco dropped his fried rice. “I forgot about that. He did! He phased! Martin—”

 Martin tossed his eggroll into the air (where it was perfectly caught by Ronnie) and grabbed a napkin, wiping his fingers as he headed straight to his most recent whiteboard. “What if—” he started scribbling madly.

 Iris stood up. “I’ll get you some coffee, I think you’re going to be up most of the night again.”

 Joe rose as well. “I’ll come too.”

 Phasing had led to the world vibration theory again, which then led to Cisco broadcasting the signal for their world, which then led to more attempts on Cisco’s part, which ended in headaches, which led to Cisco tweaking his glasses used to recall the other timeline to help ease the pain, when then led to the idea of tweaking them further to aid Cisco’s broadcast attempts.

 It had been a long road.

 Finally, it felt like they might be there. Cisco tried to relax in the chair and readjusted his visor until it felt better. “Okay. Let’s go.”

 Martin flipped on the machine that measured Cisco’s frequency and any he emitted. “Let’s see if you can broadcast.”

 Cisco had no idea how to work any of this, so he fell back on advice from a source he knew best: Movies. He tried to breathe deep, still his mind, and basically follow any advice doled out in Kung Fu movies. _Find your center, zen mode, snatch the pebble from my hand…._

 “Doing fine, Cisco. Now try to find the frequency of the air.” Martin was staring at the monitor, the light from the screen reflecting off his glasses.

 Cisco kept his eyes closed and tried to feel the air. Nothing. Minutes passed. He was just sitting here. In a chair. Useless. God, this was ridiculous. He pulled off the glasses and sat up. “I can’t do it.”

 Martin looked up, dismay clear on his face. “You just got started.”

 Cisco slid off the chair. “Yeah…I can’t. I’m not the guy for this, sorry.” He left the cortex quickly.

 He knew the exact moment that word got around of him leaving, because there were suddenly people moving in the hallways, and he knew they were looking for him. So he avoided all the typical places he might go; his workshop, the accelerator where everything happened (Ronnie was replacing the roof there for lack of anything better to do), Barry’s favorite pipeline thinking spot.

 He climbed up all the way to the roof and stood at the rail in the chilly night air, trying not to think about what a failure he was.

 But if anyone was stubborn enough to find him, it was a woman. Two women, actually. Caitlin and Iris climbed the final ladder to his position, moving carefully in heels and skirts. Any other time it would have made him smile.

 Neither said anything as they each moved to his side, leaned on the rail and looked out on the city with him, until the pressure finally got to him and he spoke first. “What?” His voice was low and irritated.

 “That’s what we climbed all the way up here to ask you. In heels, Cisco.” Caitlin slid him a look so he knew how hard that was.

 “Yeah, at least at Jitters there are stairs to the roof.” Iris agreed.

 “Well I’m sorry, I don’t have Barry’s super speed to just rush right over there.” Cisco knew he sounded rude but it still didn’t affect how he said it. He instantly regretted it when Iris spoke next.

 “No, you don’t have super speed. What you do have, Cisco, is a very valuable gift.”

 “One that you could use for good.” Caitlin added.

 Dammit, he’d given them an in. He threw his hands up in frustration. “A gift I don’t even know how to use! It’s wasted on me!”

 “What do you mean?” Iris kept her voice calm, and he recognized that tone. She was trying to get him to talk about it. Fine. He would.

 “I mean, I’m not a hero.” He said it slow and precise. “I’m the sidekick. I’m the plucky funny guy who makes great tech and helps the guy be the hero. I’m not heroic! I’m not powerful! Heroes are tall and good looking, and manly, like Barry and Ronnie and Ray, and Oliver and Eddie…” He fizzled off, staring at his hands on the rail. “I can’t even figure out how to get a hero back. I’m not one.”

 Iris looked so sad just to hear him say it. That made him feel even worse. She put a hand on his shoulder. “You can keep trying, you’ll get it.”

 “I can’t get it. I don’t get it! I’m sorry, I’m just not that guy.” He looked her in the face, and he could see she didn’t know what to say next. Good. There was nothing she could say to fix this. She might as well stop trying.

 But he’d forgotten that he was being double-teamed. He’d forgotten that Caitlin was on his other side, listening and assessing. Her voice made him jump slightly. “Cisco, are you saying Martin Stein isn’t a hero? Are you saying that Iris wasn’t a hero when she went up against that metahuman?”

 Cisco looked warily between the two women. Iris’ expression was now daring him to agree. “N—no…” He realized he was in dangerous territory.

 Recognizing it, Caitlin smiled and continued. “What about Yoda? He’s powerful. He’s a hero.”

 “He’s also from Degobah, okay? And he’s a total badass. Everyone from there looks like him.”

 Iris picked up where Caitlin was going quickly. “Doesn’t make him less of a hero. It doesn’t matter where one comes from. It doesn’t matter what he looks like. What matters is that he did everything he could.”

 Cisco snorted. “Don’t try to use Star Wars against me, okay?”

 Caitlin pulled an innocent face. “Well maybe you just aren’t using the force enough, Cisco, did you ever think of that? Maybe you need to ‘do, or do not’. There is no try, remember?”

 Cisco’s mouth turned up. “I knew you liked it.”

 Iris jumped in. “She’s right Cisco. You have to feel it, you have to feel the force inside you, all around you. Yoda said ‘It surrounds us, it binds us. You must feel it between you, me, the rock, the tree, everywhere.’ How is that different than the vibrations you’re feeling?”

 Cisco was staring at her now. “How many times have you seen The Empire Strikes Back?”

 She gave him a look. “Please, I grew up with Barry.”

 Against his will, a laugh bubbled up. “Right. So you’re saying I need to approach this like a Jedi.”

 Caitlin and Iris traded a look. “That’s what we’re saying. May the force be with you.” Caitlin bumped his shoulder with hers.

 “You can totally do this.” Iris smiled at him.

 Cisco fought a smile. “Size matters not,” he gave it his best Yoda voice.

 Both women slapped him on a shoulder.

 “Exactly.”


	13. You're no longer you now.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two worlds collide.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm just gonna leave this here...

 

A short time later Cisco was back in the chair. Joe had arrived, and the entire group was assembled.

 “You sure you don’t want to run some more tests?” Cisco adjusted his glasses again and laid back nervously.

 Martin smiled. “Nothing we do could ever quite simulate this, Cisco. Let’s just try it and see what happens. Remember, find the frequency of the metal first, and then try to project the world frequency over it.”

 “Okay.” Cisco tried to breathe a few times, repeating his mantra. “Use the force, use the force, use the force.”

 Martin’s voice was calm and reassuring. “You just need to feel. Feel the vibrations, Cisco. Tune into them. Then push them out. You can do this.”

 Cisco looked at the group gathered around. Iris gave him a supportive nod and smile. Joe was trying too hard to look casual about this, and Caitlin and Ronnie were practically radiating positive thoughts.

 Cisco heaved a deep breath and closed his eyes. Martin carefully placed the metal fragment in his open hand. “Just feel the vibrations. Focus only on them.”

 For several minutes there was only the sound of Cisco’s deep breathing. Then he twitched in surprise, a startled gasp interrupting his focused breathing, but he quickly rallied and resumed. “I feel…something. I see…” His voice drifted off as he worked to intensify what was happening.

 Images began to flow through his head again, but he was getting better at finding the one he wanted. He focused on all three of the pieces, sitting on a table somewhere. He had worked specifically on tuning into the pieces themselves and less their surroundings. Where they were and who was with them mattered less than Barry being aware that they were being connected with and broadcasted over. He could feel them begin to vibrate. This was the wake-up call, the signal to them that Cisco was trying to provide Barry with a way to get home.

 He breathed again. Feel the force…that advice really did work…now feel the air. Feel this world’s frequency. He thrust aside the niggling self-doubt and focused on creating a beam of frequency based on the vibrations of the air. He could almost picture it focusing together and flowing over the telegraph he’d already established with the piece. _C’mon Barry, get what we’re trying to do…c’mon Barry…_

 

* * *

 

 

After Barry got off work, he and Bear and Iris had headed straight to S.T.A.R. Labs, hoping that something might happen that evening. Harrison and Tess were there as usual, and everyone else employed there had gone home. Bear couldn’t take waiting around the apartment for the rest of the night. He was wearing his suit just in case. He was leaning against a console, chatting with Barry and Iris, when Harrison suddenly shouted from across the cortex.

 “Bear get over here!”

 Bear raced across the cortex to the table Harrison was looking at, followed quickly by Barry and Iris.

 Harrison was pointing to all three pieces of metal on the table. They were shimmering. No, they were vibrating just enough to be seen.

 Bear suddenly couldn’t breathe. “Oh, this is it.”

 Harrison’s eyes were gleaming with excitement. “This is it, Bear. Are you ready?”

 Bear nodded, mouth dry. “Yeah.”

 “Then do what you do best.” Bear looked up. Harrison was smiling at him, eyes alight with anticipation and excitement. “Run, Barry, run.”

 Bear swallowed and stared at him for a fraction of a moment. It was too familiar. He couldn’t shake the feeling that Eobard was looking back at him. He’d had that same look many times before. Bear shook off the sudden discomfort that laid over him and went to Barry and Iris, giving each a hug, and then Tess. Each wished him safe travel. Harrison offered his hand, which Bear shook.

 Bear picked up the smaller metal fragment and moved to leave the cortex, heading for the hallway that led down to the particle accelerator itself, and looked back one last time. Iris and Barry were holding hands and beaming at him. Harrison had an arm around Tess for a moment, then moved to pick up one of the larger pieces and follow Bear.

 The walk to the pipeline area was silent. Both men were aware of the enormity of what they were about to attempt. Bear pushed away memories of the last time he had made this walk. Once he made it all the way to the accelerator floor, he looked back up at Harrison, who was standing on the upper level. The only thing missing was Eobard’s pipeline cell.

 Harrison’s voice echoed down to him. “Bear, focus on the piece in your hand. If we’re right, Cisco is broadcasting the frequency of your world over it. Your secondary frequency isn’t gone yet so you should be able to lock onto it and use it to phase. Don’t focus on the piece, focus on what’s coming through the piece.”

 “Got it.” Bear swallowed, his hand clenching on the fragment.

 “Good luck.”

 “Thank you.” Bear looked up, avoiding Harrison’s gaze, and then pulled his hood into place. He bounced on the soles of his feet for a moment, loosening his muscles and readying to run. Then he started running.

 The first few laps were basically warm up, and he tried not to notice when he passed the spot where the wormhole had opened up in his world. He also tried not to think about what had happened after that. He increased his speed, going faster and faster. When it felt like a good baseline, he allowed his focus to drift to the metal in his hand, letting his running go on autopilot navigating turns as he went loop after loop.

 He could tell his singularity frequency was still there, if less, because it was far easier to move past the frequency of the piece itself and look for anything else coming through. He raced countless laps as he reluctantly allowed Eobard’s voice to echo in his mind.

  _“Breathe…breathe”_ He let the metal piece lay loosely in his grip, feeling for a broadcasted frequency.

  _“Feel the air…feel that wind on your face…”_ Bear could feel it, but he could also feel vibrations rolling off the piece that weren’t there a moment before. He suppressed a thrill of excitement, not wanting to get so distracted that he lost it.

 He had no idea how many laps he had run by now, but it didn’t matter. He could feel the lightning. He could feel the air. He could feel his cells, every one, in a state of excitement, ready to phase. He let the vibrations from the piece run up his fingers, through his arm and into his body, flooding it with the frequency of his own world. _Home…_

 He was ready. He was starting to phase. It was more gradual than usual, and Bear could feel the extra effort it took, the extra distance of an entire dimension he was trying to cross.

 But it was working. Every lap around so far he had seen Harrison standing above, just like Eobard had. But every few laps, Harrison wasn’t there. Every few laps, Bear could see moonlight filtering in through a hole in the roof that was there in one world, but not in this one.

 Spurred by the success, he allowed Eobard’s voice to replay in his head as he focused even harder. Whispers and advice and memories he had shut down long ago once he realized that Wells was a murderer and a fake now came to life.

 “ _I may not care about people, Barry, but I care about you.” “You can do this, Barry, I believe in you.”_ Not even those memories could diminish this moment.

 On the upper level, Harrison raised his arms, excited beyond measure. “It’s working!” His voice was exultant. “It’s working!”

 Bear was phasing home.

 

* * *

 

****

 Iris stood next to her father, hand in her pocket clenching her metal piece so tight her fingers were going numb. She watched Cisco closely, desperate for some kind of sign. _This has to work. It has to._ Her father glanced down at her, and she could read the same thoughts in his eyes. His arm went around her.

 Minutes passed in tense silence. No one wanted to interrupt or disturb the process, but the waiting was becoming unbearable.

 Suddenly Caitlin pointed at a monitor screen. “Oh!” The others rushed to it. Cisco twitched in his chair but didn’t open his eyes.

 It was camera feed from a camera down in the accelerator, the same one they had been using to watch Barry time travel. The chamber stood empty and partially lit. But as Iris watched, she began to pick up a regular discrepancy. She moved closer to the monitor, and the others crowded around her.

 There, in the middle of the chamber, a quick blur raced past the camera every few seconds. With every lap as the group watched, the blur became slightly more distinct. First just barely seen, next clearly human but transparent, next transparent human in a red hazy suit. Glitching and skipping, the speedster was starting to fill out into reality.

 Barry was slowly phasing into this world, one lap at a time.

 “It’s working.” Martin’s voice was hushed, as if afraid to jinx it. He moved back to Cisco’s side. “Keep going, Cisco, it’s working!” Cisco made no reply, but his muscles tensed as he put in extra effort.

 Iris turned and ran to the accelerator, the others not far behind.

 

* * *

 

 

Cisco was putting everything he had into broadcasting the signal. Images of the other metal pieces in their various locations still vied for his attention but after the wake-up call, he pushed them away as he searched for Barry. When he found him, Barry was still blurry, whatever voice speaking to him was still distorted. But that didn’t matter because Cisco focused on sending the signal straight to him now. He got the feeling that Barry was running, could feel the small piece that Barry was holding in his hand, and he knew that Barry had reached the same conclusions they had. Barry was trying to phase.

 Cisco poured all of his energy and concentration into the signal, and as he did things started to become clearer on Barry’s side. He could see Barry, running round and round in what looked like a particle accelerator ring. He could see him starting to become less distinct and yet more distinct. He was glimpsing both worlds, it was really trippy. He could see that there was no hole in the accelerator roof like they ha— Caitlin’s exclamation and Martin’s voice cut across his concentration, and he had to focus extra hard not to lose the connection. He heard footsteps vacating the cortex, but he didn’t have time to think about it because Martin was encouraging him to keep going. He doubled his efforts.

 And suddenly the connection was crystal clear, the picture in his head bursting to life in full color and sound. He could see Barry, running laps in the S.T.A.R. Labs accelerator, phasing slowly to another world. The picture rapidly began to bleed to the edges like watercolors, filling in the rest of the scene.

 Standing above Barry on the upper level was a man who looked very familiar. The scene abruptly filled in, overwhelming Cisco with the speed and content.

 Eobard Thawne was standing above Barry, exultant as he watched Barry run. His eyes were alight in a very familiar, now very terrible way.

 “It’s working! It’s working!” He laughed. The sound was jarring to Cisco, sending shock to every nerve, every cell, the feel of his heart shredding apart replaying in his mind.

 “Ohmygodohmygod! What is he _doing_ there? What is he doing? Barry look out!” Cisco was barely aware he was yelling out loud, too aware of his heart beating, shredding… His focus shattered, pulled apart by intense emotions that felt as real as Eobard’s vibrating hand.

 

* * *

 

Bear was keeping track of the differences of the two worlds, watching one fade and the other become solid. He was between worlds now. He was so close, almost home. His last lap did not have Harrison standing above him, but it did have someone else.

 His automatic glance up as he passed was habit now, just checking the progress of the phase since it was one of only a few indicators. Harrison was flickering in and out, much like his body must be. Everything seemed slower like it always did when he ran so fast, but when he looked up this time it slowed even more. Seconds stretched into eternities, one after another after another…

 Iris was standing above him, beautiful as ever, looking down at his blur with eyes wide. They were filled with hope, longing and that same look she’d given him when he’d walked into the coffee shop after his coma.

 Without meaning to he slowed slightly, wanting to hang on to the moment. Their eyes met for the briefest of milliseconds. Then he had sped past her position and he raced around again, wanting to see her, to complete the phase.

 But he never made it. Halfway around the loop the piece in his hand altered its feed of the world frequency, rendering down to essentially static. Random vibrations and shocks filled his body as it tried to match what was now coming through. Instead it became jumbled and confused. Bear felt his body overload, short-circuiting as every nerve went haywire. One moment he was running, partially phased into his world, and the next he was down, skidding and rolling along the accelerator floor.

 Except he wasn’t just skidding and rolling. He was also phasing, in and out, an elbow passing through the floor where it should have hit and been badly damaged, his head passing through the side wall as he flipped askew. His other elbow and a knee didn’t fare so well. He traveled a good fifty feet before he came to rest, but even then he could feel that something was very wrong.

 

* * *

 

 

 Iris couldn’t stop the swell of emotion inside her when Barry briefly met her eyes. Then he was gone again as Joe, Caitlin and Ronnie came up behind her to wait as well.

 Their jubilant anticipation was soured as they waited, and waited. A blurred red form, barely visible, careened through their sightline. They all could clearly see the floor beneath him he was so transparent. Before he had even come to a complete stop, he was gone. He blinked out of their world, leaving them stunned.

 All he left behind was horrified silence.

 

* * *

 

 

 Cisco felt the connection break as Barry went down. “Barry! No!” He bolted upright in the chair, staring at Martin in horror.

 “What happened?” The foreboding on the other man’s face only confirmed Cisco’s fear.

 “I lost him! I messed it up…” He pulled off his glasses, trying to figure out what exactly had just happened. It didn’t take long for his rational mind to play it out for him, for him to realize that if there was another Barry and another Oliver in that world, it was highly likely that there was a Harrison Wells alive and well, never body snatched by Eobard, not an evil speedster. Cisco had seen him and panicked, and Barry had been lost in the transfer.

 “I’m sorry…I’m so sorry…let’s try again. We can do it again…”

 Martin’s face didn’t change. “Okay. Try it again.” He nodded at the piece Cisco was still holding.

 Cisco put the glasses back in place, but when he closed his eyes and tapped into the piece, he could only see the metal pieces now. No Barry at all. Cisco shifted through the different views over and over, hoping Barry would eventually show up. But he never did.

 Even after he’d finally given up, Cisco stayed in the chair and left the glasses on. It was easier to avoid Martin’s eyes that way.

 But there was no way to hide the tears starting to run from behind the glasses, so Cisco got up and left. He ran down the hallway, headed for his car. He didn’t feel like he could face anyone.

 “I told them. I’m not that guy.”

 

* * *

 

 Barry, Iris and Tess had been watching Bear begin to phase on the monitor and were beside themselves with excitement. For a few precious minutes. Once they saw Bear go down on the monitor they all rushed to the accelerator. Barry sped past them all and was the first to arrive, of course. He stopped a few steps away and approached cautiously.

 Bear lay on the floor, twitching and writing. He looked like he was shorting in and out, very similar to the time on the couch, but this time Bear was awake, and Barry could see random golden lightning sparks occurring all over his body. Barry didn’t say what he was thinking, but it didn’t look good. He kneeled down next to Bear, carefully assessing him.

 “Bear?”

 Bear’s eyes blinked behind his mask. It was hard to focus, hard to think at first. His body was in chaos. “—I miss it—” Even his voice was shorting in and out. It sounded like he was a bad cell phone connection. What did emerge was distorted and strange, like when he disguised it.

 Barry couldn’t hide the distress in his expression. “I think so. What happened?”

 “—n’t know.” Bear grimaced, trying to breathe. “I—almost there.”

 “Yeah, you were.” Barry scanned Bear’s body up and down, noting how various parts of it were going translucent and then solid, but not at the same time or even the same transparency. Bear was wavering back and forth, but there were multiple frequencies at work here. “Just lie still, Bear.”

 Bear tried, he really did. But his body refused to. It was twitching and jerking, overactive in every way. He groaned.

 Harrison had waited for Tess and the others to arrive, and now they all were approaching. Barry held out a hand. “Don’t touch him, he’s not stable.”

 Iris came closer but didn’t touch Bear. “How do we help him?” Her question was directed at her husband.

 Barry was staring at Bear, thinking hard. “He might just need a little time to work through it himself. His body needs to find the right frequency again.” He glanced back at the others. “I’m a little worried I can’t help this time.”

 “—t happ—d?” Bear was still twitching, but his mind was starting to focus better, even if his speech was skipping. His voice still sounded like a stranger’s to his own ears.

 Harrison shook his head. “I don’t know. Everything was fine. You were doing it, it was working. Then all of a sudden it was like the connection broke and you got stuck.”

 Bear’s head was reeling, replaying memories with Eobard and entwining them with Harrison. “—said—working, you—Cisco—”. Bear couldn’t even verbalize what he was thinking, but in his head it was becoming clear. Cisco had tapped in enough to see Harrison and thought he was Eobard, and Cisco had panicked. Had he been able, Bear would have wept. Eobard had ruined things again. Even when erased from existence he couldn’t be wiped from memory. The shorts of electricity on Bear’s body, the twitching and involuntary phasing, and the frustration of losing what he was so close to achieving all became anger that boiled over as he became aware that there was a conversation in progress over him. He glared at Harrison as the latter finished his sentence.

 “—but the problem is that if his secondary frequency is gone, which it may well be after this, there is no other viable way to get him home short of creating another singularity.”

 Barry and Tess were both opening their mouths to respond, but Bear beat them to it.

 “Fine. Do it.” Bear’s voice warbled the words.

 It was the first full sentence he’d managed to speak, and it took a few moments for the group to realize he had been the one to actually speak them.

 Tess shook her head slightly, rejecting it. “You don’t mean that. Think of the catastrophe, the danger to the city.”

 “—be I don’t care anymore.” Bear was shifting, struggling to his feet. “Maybe I’m tired of losing everything I ever cared about.” His voice blipped in and cleared, but still sounded distorted. He was glaring at them, daring them to argue with him. “Maybe I just want something for myself once in a while.” He’d managed to stand upright, still sparking, still twitching, still phasing on and off. “Maybe I just want to be happy. Maybe I’m tired of spending _every day_ suffering because of what _you_ stole from me!”

 He was pointing straight at Harrison, filled with loathing, when he finally looked, really looked at him for the first time. The man was completely horrified, bewildered. And afraid. Tess was clutching her husband’s arm as if she could somehow keep him safe, and staring at Bear as if he were a dangerous, unpredictable animal.

 But the worst was looking at Barry, whose face looked like a reflection of himself. Disturbed, worried, disappointed.

 And Iris, standing with both hands over her mouth, silently weeping for him. For his loss. For his actions. For his pain. Much like his Iris was probably doing right now.

 Bear pressed his hands to his eyes, weaving where he stood. Eobard’s voice whispered out of the corners of his mind again, confirming his worst fears. _“I’ve controlled your life for so long, Barry. How will you get along without me?”_

Eobard had taken everything from him, except the one thing Bear needed to get rid of so badly.

  _“You’re no longer you now…”_ Eobard’s words, talking about the speed force, now meant something else.

  _“And now, somehow, I know what Joe and Henry feel, when they look on you with pride. With love.”_

It was his greatest fear realized. The monster in his voice, the raging chaos in his body, it was all too much. He could feel blackness closing in, and right now he welcomed it.

 Bear pitched straight forward, and Barry raced forward to catch him before he face-planted on the floor.

 

* * *

**_Central City_ **

****

Iris sat in her father’s living room, not speaking. She dug the metal piece deep into her hand, until Joe gently removed it and wrapped his arms around her. She wept into his shoulder while tears streamed down his face.

 Martin sat on his couch at home, having just recounted their near victory to Clarissa. She hugged him tightly, and then they sat in silence. His hand never left hers.

 Ronnie held Caitlin close on their bed as they both stared up at the ceiling, keeping each other warm. They needed each other more than ever now.

 Henry sat in his cell, contemplating the ruined building he could just see from his window. He was patiently waiting.

 Captain Cold went over the plans for his next robbery one more time, calculating seconds, planning moves. It was too easy.

 Cisco stood in his apartment alone. He was breathing hard, leaning against the kitchen table. He put his hands to his face, backing away and turning away from the table. He slammed his fists on the counter, and with one sweep cleared it of the dishes scattered across it. Then he sank to the floor and buried his head in his arms, braced on his knees. His voice was muffled, but the words were for himself anyway.

 “Screw you, Eobard. Screw you.”

 His empty apartment stood witness as he wept in defeat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOBODY PANIC!!  
> Just remember, it's always darkest right before the dawn. I always planned for this attempt to fail, even though it was a brilliant plan and they were so close... I swear I have a master plan.  
> If it makes you feel better, take note of how Iris and Joe pull together in the wake of this loss instead of pulling apart like the first time. Also, Ronnie/Caitlin and Martin/Clarissa cling to each other. And Cisco...oh look I have to go.  
> The next chapter is not written yet but I'll do my best to get it out as fast as I can. Hang in there. :)


	14. Up from the Void

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bear and Cisco deal with the failed attempt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Saturday! Have a chapter! Thanks for not hating me after that last one... ;)  
> Thanks for reading, thanks for kudos, thanks for all your comments, I so suck at responding to them! But I appreciate them!  
> Hope you enjoy it!

 

 

Bear had never given much thought to how it must feel to break down into dust and disappear as you are erased from existence. He’d watched it happen to Eobard, but the events surrounding it had taken all of his attention, and then he had ended up in a different world.

 Bear was aware of the similarities. Both he and Eobard had been separated from their world one way or another, and both were desperate to return. Bear had thought it stopped there. He had been wrong.

 Now, as he lay on a medical bed in S.T.A.R. Labs, phasing uncontrollably, unable to move or speak, he truly felt he was the closest he would ever be to feeling what Eobard had felt as he had broken apart and faded from reality. Right now he was so insubstantial that he felt like there was nothing left of him.

 He kept his eyes closed, even though he was awake now. Opening his eyes meant facing the reality of what had happened. So he faked sleep, even as he heard hushed voices discussing him and his plight. It should have been like the coma, but that had passed quickly while he was truly out. This time he was awake, aware, and deep in thought. Sometimes the disconcerting feeling of his body settling through the bed partway distracted him. Eventually he always ended up on top of the mattress again. But it did worry him each time it happened, and he wondered if he’d be trapped this way forever, essentially faded from existence because he was too busy phasing to do anything but lay here. It would be like he _had_ been erased, or was as good as dead at the very least.

 And what would he leave behind, if that happened? What would be his legacy? Anger? Jealousy? Even hate? It was disturbing to realize that one legacy would be his irrational hatred of a person who in their life had truly done nothing harmful to him. Bear’s angry outburst at Harrison still rang in his ears, leaving him ashamed. It was too like Eobard’s response when Bear had asked him why he killed Bear’s mother. _“Because. I hate you.”_ No matter what Eobard had done in the other world, it was not Harrison’s fault. Bear had been angry and upset and let his emotions rule his thoughts, but truly that was no excuse. He wasn’t going to wallow in hate like Eobard. He couldn’t allow it.

 That led to thoughts about what Bear was willing to sacrifice to return home, and even more shame. If he was so desperate to return home that he was willing to risk the lives of innocent people, then he was more like Eobard than he ever wanted to be. He felt like a hollow shell of himself, a sham.

 He could not be like Eobard, no matter how much he wanted to get back to his world.

Just like he couldn’t force Iris to love him like he wanted her to. Wanting didn’t mean getting.

 In the end, he couldn’t control what other people did, he could only control what he did.

 So while his body phased in and out, while he faced his own mortality and wondered if this might be it for him, Bear used his mind to sort out what really mattered.

 He let his mind wander over the things he was grateful for, instead of the things he didn’t have.

 Iris was first and foremost in his mind, as always. As jealous as he might have been about Barry’s apparent ease in finding his Iris and marrying her, Bear realized he never wanted to give back the years he and his Iris had growing up together. It had brought its own challenges with it, but the closeness they shared was something priceless to him, and something he never wanted to give up, even if they didn’t end up together.

 Her face spun into his mind on a silken thread as he reached for her. Her strength, her caring. Her guiding light. Bear had been blessed with years of Iris, even if he never got any more. _Iris…_

 Joe’s face spun in next, weaving and entwining with his daughter’s. The relationship they had cultivated in the last year was one Bear would forever treasure and be grateful for. A second, unexpected father.

His own father was still alive, even if he was in jail. Bear’s last conversation with Henry came back to him, and he was suddenly grateful for his father’s guidance, his example. Henry’s life had taken twists and turns that he had never asked for or deserved, and yet he had dealt with them gracefully and even managed to argue against Bear changing the past. He had been willing to sacrifice his chance at a better life to benefit his son. Wasn’t that what Bear had been willing to sacrifice to close the wormhole and save those he cared about and everyone else on his world? Why was he so angry about it now? Because he hadn’t died? Because now he got to live with the consequences of the act? Bear needed to take his father’s example and truly live up to it. Henry’s face became the next silken thread, coiling with Iris and Joe.

 His mother’s face was next. Her love, her grace. He was grateful for the chance he’d had, however hard it had been, to say goodbye to her, that he loved her, to put her at ease regarding her husband and son. He would never stop missing her, and he would never stop wishing she was alive. But he’d had eleven years with her, and he now realized that he’d been blessed to have them. Iris in this world had gotten no years with her parents. Nora’s smiling face wound around his father’s and the others, adding to the strands.

 The next one was a strange mix of emotions. On one hand, Dr. Wells had been an important mentor in Bear’s development as the Flash. On the other, he was Eobard Thawne, a murderer and a liar. Bear let Eobard go, watching him float away in his mind, while Dr. Wells and his wheelchair slipped into the silken strands intertwining with the others.

 Cisco… He couldn’t even blame Cisco for his reaction to seeing Harrison, considering his own problems with exactly the same thing. Cisco was one person Bear was truly glad he had ended up being friends with. He had no guarantee that they would have met in the original timeline before Eobard altered it. Maybe he should be grateful for that. Yes, he was grateful…he couldn’t imagine not being friends with Cisco now. Cisco’s strand wound into the group.

 Bear had no concept of time as he methodically went through each part of his life, adding strand upon to strand as he did. Blessing upon blessing added up. Caitlin, her growth, her support, a reminder that he wasn’t the only one who had lost people. Ronnie and his bright spirit, his ever-present desire to protect the people he loved, even with his own life. Bear understood that. Martin, his intelligence and excitement over science, his support and comradery. Even Captain Singh slipped into the group.

 Eventually, the people Bear had met in this world also slid in and intertwined with the rest. Barry and Iris, Oliver, Harrison and Tess. He had been so lucky to end up with friends. Maybe that was what made the big difference between him and Eobard. Eobard had been alone, and his isolation led him to ultimately look out for no one but himself and his ultimate goal, even if he did some good deeds in the middle.

 By the time Bear’s mental journey was done, he had a thick silken rope of people and blessings that he was holding onto. And ultimately, it was that rope that held him fast as he clung to it and pulled himself back into reality. He gripped it and used it to center himself as he focused on each individual part of his phasing body, letting it phase and then focusing it on the frequency that helped it stabilize. Slowly and surely, his body calmed one bit at a time, all while he held onto the product of his mental exercise and used it to rework his physical body.

 He felt the last part of his body phase and re-solidify, and then the chaos was gone. He laid on the bed, grateful that the crisis was over even if he was still in a different world. In his mind he held fast to that silken rope as he opened his eyes to face whatever life threw at him next. He blinked at the ceiling.

 “Hey.” Her voice instantly caught his attention, and he turned his head on the pillow to look at her. She was sitting in a chair next to him, smiling in relief, her hands rubbing over her ever-growing belly.

 He smiled at her. “Hey, Iris. Thanks for being here.”

 Barry walked up behind her, putting a hand on his wife’s shoulder. “Where else would we be?”

 The silken rope was strong as Bear added to it, grateful that his outburst hadn’t driven them away.

 

* * *

 

 

**_Central City_ **

****

The pounding on his door woke Cisco with a start. The sound was far louder than it should have been. Cisco groaned, realizing he’d fallen asleep on the couch instead of his bed. Again.

 “Cisco! Open the door right now! It’s been three days and it’s time to re-enter the world!” Iris’ voice carried easily, and he wondered how many neighbors she’d already disturbed. He dragged his body off the couch and shuffled to the front door, still dressed in last night’s T-shirt and pants. He swung the door open with a glare.

 “Keep it down, you’re waking up the whole complex.”

 “Well, I would be, except it’s noon.” Iris peered at him. “Are you hung over?”

 Cisco pondered his answer. It was probably better to pretend he was hung over, instead of telling her he was trying to sleep forever so he didn’t have to deal with his failures. Maybe she’d believe he was hung over on sugar or something.

 He took so long to answer that Iris simply bypassed it and moved on, coming to the point immediately. “Look, you can’t blame yourself. Martin told us what happened, and any one of us could have reacted that way.”

 Her words did nothing for him. “Yeah, but it wasn’t anyone else. It was me. I blew our one chance to get Barry back, and now I get to live with that. Don’t think you can just help me get over that with a few words, Iris. But thanks for trying.”

 He moved to shut the door, but she immediately forced her boot against it, pressing her weight against the door. She was stronger than she looked. “Cisco, I didn’t come here to give you some cheesy speech.” That made him stop pushing the door against her for a moment, waiting to see why she really was here.

 Iris gave him an understanding smile. “I know there’s nothing I can do for you right now to help you feel better, so I brought someone else to see you. I thought she might be able to help you more than anyone else.” Iris pointed a few apartment doors down, and Cisco leaned out to get a better look.

 Laurel Lance was leaned against the railing, dressed in black and looking far too intimidating than she should be allowed to be without her mask. She gave him a small smile. Cisco gaped for a moment, then shot a look at Iris. “How do you two know each other?”

 Iris gave him a patronizing look. “Caitlin filled me in on Starling City activity, and since Felicity and Oliver are off traveling together, and Ray—well things have really changed up there, I did a little digging and found the person I thought could help you best.” She gave him a proud smile.

 Cisco stared at her a moment, wondering if her reporter skills went as far as finding the picture of him and the Black Canary he owned, placed carefully in between issues of his favorite comic books and frequently gazed at in a dreamy way.

 Iris seemed to read his thoughts. “Relax, I haven’t ransacked your apartment. I’m just a good reporter.”

 Laurel moved up to stand next to Iris. “Good, then I won’t have to kill Cisco.” She gave Iris a wink. Iris looked between the two of them, now aware that there was more to these two than even she had been able to dig up. Laurel smiled at Cisco in a teasing way. “You going to invite me in, Cisco?”

 Cisco’s eyes doubled in size at the thought. “Umm, yeah, okay…” he stood back to let Laurel enter, very aware that he was still in yesterday’s clothes, now very rumpled and wrinkly. He wished he was a better housekeeper. Laurel entered and Cisco waited for Iris, but she just gave him a small smile and walked away, headed to her car.

 Cisco closed the door and leaned back against it, almost terrified. The Black Canary was in his apartment (that was never something he thought he’d say) and he felt so very inadequate.

 Laurel pointed at the recently vacated couch. “Can I sit?”

 Cisco pushed away from the door in a jerky motion. “Yes, of course, um, have a seat. Can I get you anything? Water? Licorice?” He closed his eyes, wincing. He sounded like such an idiot.

 But Laurel smiled, looking like she was two seconds away from a giggle, which was so unlike her. “Licorice would be great, thanks.”

 Cisco looked at her, trying to decide if she was serious. She raised her eyebrows at him, waiting, so he decided she must be. “Right, yeah, okay.” He was in the kitchen, digging in a cupboard before he mumbled his next thought. “The Black Canary likes licorice, that’s a new one.”

 He placed a half-eaten package of Red Vines on the coffee table and sat on the far end of the couch. This was so unprecedented he had no idea what he should do next.

 Luckily, Laurel seemed to be ready to steer the conversation for him. She leaned forward and grabbed a piece of licorice but didn’t eat it, just rolled it between her fingers as she looked at him. Her face was suddenly serious, and Cisco realized Iris must have told her everything that had happened. That was just great. Now he felt even more inadequate, if that was even possible.

 “Cisco, you need to work through this.”

 The weight he’d been carrying for days fell on him again, and he looked at the floor so she couldn’t see that his eyes were getting wet. “I don’t know how.” He clenched his hands together, trying to use pain to distract him from breaking down in front of her. “We were so close. And I lost him. It was all my fault.” He dragged in a choppy breath.

 “I know that feeling.” Laurel’s voice was very quiet, and dripping with empathy.

 Cisco looked up at her in surprise, taking in the look in her eyes, the pained lines of her face. It dawned on him he knew almost nothing about her personal life. He’d only seen her as a butt-kicking vigilante in black, a larger than life figure he could dream about but never really know on a deeper level. He searched for something to say, but in the end it was a random question that popped out. “Who was it?”

 “Which one?” She gave him the most heartbreaking look he’d ever seen. All pain and guilt and self-blame. Horror filled him at the idea of dealing with something like this in a plural form.

 “I’m sorry.” He realized how everyone around him must be feeling right now, not sure what the right thing to say is. Because there is nothing to be said that will help.

 Laurel threw her head back and blinked rapidly, flipping her hair behind her shoulders. “I didn’t tell you that for your sympathy. I want you to know that others have dealt with this. Are still dealing with it, actually. You’re not alone.”

 Cisco nodded his thanks. “How do you deal with it?”

 She gave him a shadow of her usual smile. “I dress in black and beat up criminals, Cisco.”

 He gave a quiet huff of laughter. “Okay. Don’t see myself doing that any time soon. Does it help?”

 “Sometimes. But the real reason I do it is to deal with my anger and get justice.” She leaned toward him, the piece of licorice still dangling between her fingers. “It doesn’t really help with the guilt.”

 “So what do I do about the guilt?” He didn’t even realize he was leaning toward her now, almost begging for an answer.

 “I get up every day, and I do what I can to help the people around me. I don’t try to hide from it anymore, so I don’t drink. And I never stop believing I can do more than I am already doing.”

 Cisco sat back abruptly. “You’re telling me to just go back to my everyday life? That will make it better?!”

 She was suddenly right next to him. In his face, closer than he was anywhere near comfortable with. Her face was almost predatory, and he realized that she was far more dangerous than she appeared at first. Which was something he never should have forgotten, really, considering their first meeting. For a wild moment she reminded him of Lisa Snart, which made her even more attractive for some ridiculous reason.

 “I’m telling you that giving up and guilt-tripping yourself for the rest of your life won’t bring them back. So get up and do something. Make the world around you better. And don’t ever let anyone tell you you’re not capable of it.”

 The silence was deafening when she finished. Neither moved. She was still staring him in the face. He was staring back, eyes wide. His voice was almost a whisper when he finally spoke. “Why do I get the feeling you were told you couldn’t be the Black Canary when you first started?”

 Her predatory look softened slightly. She gave him an assured look and a small smile as she moved back a small distance, but not as far back as she’d been before. “Because you’re perceptive, Cisco. Almost everyone in my life told me I couldn’t do it when I started. Even myself. But I kept going.” She finally took a bite out of her licorice piece.

 “Do they think you can do it now?”

 “They know I can do it now.”

 His next question just popped out. “How did you get over telling yourself you couldn’t do it?”

 She chewed the last of her licorice and swallowed before she answered. “I stopped trying to be like someone else and decided to be my own kind of hero. I decided to embrace myself, for better or for worse.”

 “I think it was for the better.” The words were out before he’d realized he was going to say them. Laurel raised her eyebrows at him. He blushed furiously, feeling the heat in his cheeks. Nice, Cisco. Real smooth. He could practically hear Barry’s voice chiding him.

 But Laurel smiled. “Thanks Cisco.” She stood up. “Are you ready to go?”

 “Umm, go where?” If she was taking him outside to kick his butt it was probably better, he didn’t want any furniture broken.

 She grinned at him, looking close to a giggle again. “Iris is still outside. We’re going to Jitters. Right now. Let’s go.”

 He stood up in a hurry, and then realized he was still wearing yesterday’s clothes. “Maybe I could change first?”

 She leveled a look on him that quickly quashed that idea. “Yeah, nevermind, okay. Let me just get my keys and wallet.” He hurried down the hall, muttering to himself.

 “That is way hotter than it should be allowed to be.”

 Alone in the front room, Laurel giggled to herself quietly. What was wrong with her? Laurel Lance did not giggle. Unless she was around Cisco Ramon, apparently. She quickly arranged her face into a milder pleasant look as Cisco returned, but the giggle remained, lurking just out of range.

 

* * *

 

 

Barry pulled a chair over to Bear’s bed and sat down next to Iris, automatically reaching for his wife’s hand. Bear glanced over them and could just see Harrison and Tess working in the next room. Both seemed determined not to look in at him. He met Barry’s eyes.

 Even Barry seemed slightly guarded. “Are you doing okay? Back to normal?”

 Bear nodded, wiggling his legs experimentally. “I think so.” He sat up a bit more, determined not to tiptoe around the topic. “I’m really sorry for what I said. All of it. I was so upset things got screwed up, but it wasn’t Harrison’s fault.”

 Barry nodded, looking slightly relieved. “Glad to hear that, Bear.” He hesitated just a moment, then continued. “So what’s the deal with you and the Harrison in your world? Is he really that different?”

 Bear glanced back to make sure Tess and Harrison were still out of earshot. “Actually, yeah. He was that different. The real Harrison Wells was murdered and his identity stolen. Tess was killed.”

 Barry’s gaze was intense. “Who would do that?”

 Bear assessed the other man before answering, the suspicion niggling at him that Barry already had an idea. “Thawne.”

 Barry immediately recognized the reference. “Eobard Thawne?” Bear nodded as Iris gasped next to them. It was quite obvious that both knew who he was and how dangerous he could be. Barry’s next question was tense. “Is he…dead?”

 Bear nodded. “As good as, I guess.” Barry and Iris traded a glance, and Bear could clearly read their looks to each other. Obviously Eobard Thawne was alive and well in this world, which was really too bad.

 Barry’s face was all kinds of disturbed as he pieced together previous conversations and drew conclusions. “He was the one who taught you to phase? He murdered people and manipulated your life?”

 “Yeah. His last words to me were asking me how I would get along without him since he’d controlled my life for so long. And maybe he has. He still is, kind of. But I’m done with that. I’m not going to let even his memory control me anymore. Putting a city in danger to get home is exactly something he would do, and I won’t. So I’m just going to have to make a life here. Find a city that needs a hero. Maybe have a different name than the Flash? Do you think Oliver needs any help? Don’t worry, I’ll still come visit.”

 Bear stopped rambling long enough to look at both Barry and Iris. She had a fond smile on her face, almost holding back a laugh. Barry finally looked like he wasn’t guarded at all, a relieved smile making him look far younger suddenly.

 “Bear, you have no idea what a relief it is to know that even a version of me from a different world isn’t a major douche.” Bear just looked at him, perplexed, so he proceeded to explain. “I’m glad you refuse to endanger anyone. But we think we have another idea to get you home.”

 “Indeed we do.” Harrison was entering the room with Tess beside him.

 “Harrison, I’m so sorry—” but Bear had barely started before the other man held up a hand.

 “Don’t worry about it, Bear. We all have our demons.” Harrison smiled his way, Tess by his side smiling at him too.

 It took Bear a moment to get past the lump in his throat, his gratitude was so overwhelming. “Thank you. All of you, for helping me.”

 “What, you aren’t going to thank me?” Oliver was in the doorway, dressed in his classic green, mask and hat in place. “You didn’t say goodbye either.”

 Bear gaped for a moment, then looked at the rest of the group. “How long was I out?”

 Barry laughed. “About a day. Long enough for us to theorize a new idea and decide how to do it. We haven’t slept much. The Green Arrow is going to help.”

 Bear’s next question about how on earth Oliver could help slipped his mind as a striking blond walked into the room. She was leggy and tall, dressed in a black leather costume and fishnet stockings of all things. Even with her black mask on Bear felt like he should know her, but couldn’t quite place her.

 “All finished. When do we start?” Her gaze fell on Bear. “Wow you were right, babe. He looks just like ours, minus a few crow’s feet.”

 “Hey!” Barry protested weakly. Iris held in a giggle and laid a consoling hand on his arm.

 Bear looked back to Harrison. “You sure I didn’t phase into an all new world?”

Oliver laughed. “No such luck, buddy.” He put an arm around the blond. “This is D— the Black Canary. My girlfriend.”

 Bear’s face cleared of its confusion and then dropped in shock as he realized he was looking at a very blond version of Laurel Lance from his world. “La—uhhm nice to meet you finally. I’ve heard a lot about you.”

 “I bet.” Dinah gave Oliver a look, who immediately put his hands up in surrender.

 “It was all good, I swear.”

 “Uh-huh.” Dinah looked back at Bear. “Nice to meet you, Bear.”

 Harrison clapped his hands together. “Okay! So it looks like we’re all ready.”

 “Umm, ready for what, exactly?” Bear still felt seriously out of the loop.

 Dinah approached the bed. “We’ve figured out a way to get you home. All you have to do is stand up,” she stopped and waited until Bear got the message and got out of bed, still wearing his suit. “Now you stand up straight.” Bear did so. “Tap your heels together three times,” Bear’s look was getting more suspicious by the moment, but he complied. “And say ‘There’s no place like home.’” Dinah gave him an expectant look.

 Bear suddenly knew what it was like to have an older sister as well. Still not a fan. He looked at Oliver. “For real?”

 The entire room (minus Bear) burst into guffaws and laughter. Even Iris, who stopped laughing faster than anyone else as she realized how much her belly was bouncing with the motion. That and the laughter prompted a smile from Bear. He waited until they were done before he addressed Oliver again. “She’s perfect for you.”

 Oliver, still laughing, wrapped an arm around Dinah’s shoulders. “I think she is.” Obviously they had worked through their rough patch.

Harrison stepped in. “Well, our idea is going to be a bit more complex than that, it’s true.” He turned to Bear. “Let’s take you through the steps, but before we get started, you need to take a nap.”

 Bear shook his head. “Didn’t I just wake up?”

 “Okay, I misspoke. You need to make a phone call. Follow us, we’ll show you what we’re thinking.” Harrison and the others turned and headed out the door, obviously expecting him to follow. Bear waited as they all filed out.

 It shouldn’t be surprising that a well-known movie like The Wizard of Oz would be used to get a laugh, but all Bear could think about was how it had been one of his favorite movies with Iris growing up. They had watched it countless times. Bear had aspired to be the Tin Man, even though he’d felt like the Cowardly Lion much of his childhood. He could remember several times they’d reenacted the story, with Barry playing all the guy parts of the little group so Iris could be Dorothy with her little stuffed dog as Toto. He’d always felt that Dorothy was perfect for Iris. Brave, kind, and stronger than she knew. She could easily have been Glenda the Good Fairy as well, but the one time she wanted to be the Wicked Witch of the West Bear had put his foot down, insisting that she could never be that evil. Besides, she wasn’t green. They had talked Joe into taking the role just once, even though he wasn’t green either. Joe must’ve had a really bad day at work that time, because he had allowed them to persuade him fairly easily. Just remembering it made Bear smile.

 He looked down at the red boots that completed his Flash suit. It couldn’t hurt…

 He speed-tapped his heels together three times again and mumbled “There’s no place like home.”

 Then he quickly sped to catch up with the group before someone came back and spotted him.

 He’d never live that down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, things are moving along. I am really hoping to get the next chapter out before the premiere Tuesday, let's keep fingers crossed!
> 
> Credit goes to Ishipit87, who when I jokingly said I should have Bear get home ala Wizard of Oz, actually pushed me to include it somehow. It was meant to be! Thanks, hon. ;)


	15. The Plan of Two Flashes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bear gets closer to home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking so long! The next three chapters all run together, and I was writing on them all last week but I ran out of time to proof and tweak. But the good news is that you will now receive three chapters in a very short time! :)
> 
> Part of the holdup last week was also because I was getting my story posted for the Flash Big Bang Project. So if you are interested in a shorter and finished westallen adventure, head for my profile and look for Lead and I'll Follow. 
> 
> Things are coming to a head in this fic, but we still have a ways to go before I call it finished. Hope you enjoy it, and as always thanks for reading! :)

**_Central City_ **

Cisco was halfway to Jitters with Laurel and Iris when he realized that this was the first time Iris was going to be there since the singularity. She’d promised to go with him if he touched the metal piece again, but once they had discovered that Barry was in another world their focus had been on bringing him back, and the opportunity never arose.

 He assessed her mood as they walked to the front door, and it was clear she was a bit apprehensive about it. He put a hand on her shoulder to stop her. Laurel stopped behind them. “Look, you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.”

 Iris gave him a grateful smile, but it didn’t hide the determination in her eyes. “Yes. Yes I do.”

 “Okay,” Cisco sighed. He opened the door and held it so Iris and Laurel could enter, then followed behind.

 In the end, it was very enjoyable. After the initial unease, Iris relaxed a bit and asked Laurel about her work as an attorney. Laurel was quick to oblige. They talked about their different cities, their different approaches to fighting crime, and eventually the topic turned to the failed attempt to get Barry back.

 Cisco stared at his third coffee. “I panicked. I should’ve known better. I can’t believe I wasted our only shot.”

 Laurel gave him an understanding look. Iris leaned forward. “Cisco, if I know Barry at all, he won’t give up. He spent his whole life chasing down impossible things trying to prove what really happened to his mom. I don’t think that was our only shot. We just need to keep working on another way.”

 Cisco tried to keep the discouragement from showing on his face. “Yeah. Okay.”

 “Oh I know that look.” Laurel picked up her latte and looked straight at Cisco.

 Cisco pretended to be confused. “What?”

 “You’re telling yourself you can’t do it. What did I tell you? Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t. Not even you.”

 Iris gave an approving nod. “That’s good advice.”

 Cisco smiled reluctantly. “Noted. Thanks.” Laurel beamed at him from across the table, and it dawned on him he liked her even more now that he knew what lay under the black leather and beautiful exterior. She was like steel. Beautiful, strong steel.

 Shortly after, Laurel excused herself to get to her train on time. She gave Cisco and Iris a hug (Cisco felt dizzy getting a hug from Laurel Lance) and headed out the door. Iris turned to Cisco.

 “You ready to go to S.T.A.R. Labs?” She didn’t look like she would take no for an answer.

 Cisco took a deep breath. “Yeah, let’s go.”

 When they entered the main cortex, Martin looked up and his face broke into a smile. “Cisco, glad to see you back. I wanted your opinion on this theory I had would you take a look?”

 Cisco had no words to express his gratitude for the way he was being treated. Like he was still a part of the group, like he wasn’t hated for blowing it. He swallowed hard. Iris pushed him with a hand on his shoulder, and he moved to his usual station. Caitlin and Ronnie entered shortly after and invited him to dinner. Cisco gave Iris a narrow look, highly suspicious, but she just gave him an innocent look on her way out the door.

 She smiled to herself on her way down the hall. It hadn’t been hard to convince the team to back Cisco up, because they were all ready to do it anyway. Cisco had no idea how much the team needed him.

 

* * *

  

Cisco felt much better that night. They hadn’t come any closer to a solution to getting Barry back, but the team surrounding him with their support and caring had been the balm he needed.

 For the first time since the failed attempt Cisco was relaxed enough to dream. It started the way it always did, memories of the singularity and everything that had happened, except now it was mixed with images of Barry running laps, Eobard laughing above him. The wind Barry created became a howling vortex that beat and battered Cisco and everyone around him. The singularity formed, but this time it didn’t break through the roof of the accelerator. Cisco stood in the middle of it, immobile in the chaos, watching Eddie die and Eobard disappear. Helpless as usual.

 “Help me, Cisco…Cisco…Cisco…”

 “Cisco.”

 Suddenly the howling wind was gone. Cisco was standing in the accelerator alone. Until the voice broke the silence again.

 “Cisco.”

 He turned, and there was Barry. Dressed in his suit, the mask and hood off, smiling at him.

 Just looking at his friend brought all Cisco’s emotions to the fore. It had been so long since they had talked. “Barry. I—” he choked on the words, tears starting to slide down his cheeks. “I’m so sorry, I ruined it. You were almost home. I should’ve known it wasn’t Eobard. I got confused—”

 “It’s okay. I’ve been having the same problems over here. Believe me, I understand Cisco.” Barry’s countenance was full of absolution and friendship. It made Cisco feel worse.

 “But now you’re stuck there—”

 Barry held up a hand. “It’s okay. We think we have another way. But it’s a bit…risky.”

 “Risky?” Cisco didn’t like the sound of that.

 “We think it’ll work, but I need you to help me.”

 “Anything, Barry. You know that. Anything.”

 “I need you to watch for me, I’ll need help on your side.”

 “What is that supposed to mean? How do we help you come through?”

 “We think we have the way through from over here. But I need you and the rest of the team waiting. Just be ready.”

 Cisco nodded. “Okay. At S.T.A.R. Labs?”

 “Yeah.”

 “How do I know when you need help?”

 “Oh, you’ll know.” Cisco could have sworn Barry almost laughed, and he was about to ask for clarification when a hand touched Barry’s shoulder. Cisco jumped. He hadn’t seen anyone else arrive.

 “Barry.” An older version of Barry was touching his shoulder to get his attention. “It’s time to go.” Barry nodded and turned back to smile at Cisco. The older version did the same. It was almost freaky, watching them smile at him identically. Cisco just stared back.

 Finally Barry spoke. “Watch for me, Cisco. I know I can count on you, I always can.”

 The older version had just a tinge of sadness to the smile he gave Cisco. “Vibe. Good to see you again.”

 “See you soon, Cisco.” Barry and his older counterpart turned to go, and Cisco woke with a start.

 He stared at the ceiling a moment, processing it all. Then he reached for his cell phone to call Iris. As he hit the button to dial her number and raised it to his ear, he couldn’t stop the thought that emerged aloud.

 “Vibe. That’s a pretty cool name.”

 

* * *

 

 Bear stood next to a pile of rubble outside S.T.A.R. Labs. “Okay. Run it by me again?”

 The others groaned, but Harrison was very patient. “We use the accelerator to collide you with another particle, just like you did to time travel before. But we let the singularity go unstable without closing it.”

 “Yeah, that part in itself sounds a bit insane, but keep going.”

 “The Black Canary has helpfully broken down a bunch of cinderblocks and given us a pile of rubble to assemble the accretion disc, courtesy of her Canary Cry.” Harrison gestured to Dinah, who tapped her throat with two fingers and saluted Bear and Harrison with a raised eyebrow. Obviously her ability was natural in this world. Bear dragged his attention back to Harrison. “But this time, before it can rise into the sky, you’ll be running on it.”

 Barry moved into their conversation. “You mean we’ll be running on it.”

 Bear raised a finger. “Okay, that’s the more insane part. Never mind that the disc starts off small enough that we’ll have to tiptoe on it, but I don’t feel like opening another singularity over another Central City. I did that once, and I didn’t like it then. I already decided I wasn’t going to risk innocent lives to get home, and I won’t. This is exactly what I said I wouldn’t do. It’s too risky.” Bear stood with his arms crossed, the decision final.

 Barry gave him an annoyed look. “You really think I’d do that to my city? C’mon Bear. That’s why we’re both on the disc. If we run fast enough in opposite directions we can cancel out the disc’s natural pull.”

 Bear stared at him suspiciously. “No buildings get sucked up? No cars? No people get hurt?”

 Tess stepped in. “That’s the theory. That’s why we have this rubble for the disc, we don’t want it pulling anything else in. But you two will have to run pretty fast. Somewhere between Mach 1 and 2, we think.”

 Bear nodded, processing the thought, and looked at Barry, who shrugged and replied. “I know I can do it. You up for it?”

 “Yeah.” Bear’s reply was cautious. “No one gets hurt?”

 “As long as we keep up with an accretion disc,” Barry grinned. “We’ve had worse challenges. I know I have, at least.”

 Bear put a hand over his eyes, rubbing them. “Okay, suppose we manage it, and we ride it up to the sky, no one gets hurt, and then—what was next?”

 Tess continued. “With you two canceling out the gravitational pull of the singularity, we need a way to disrupt the motion of the disc, just like you did before, Bear.”

 Harrison pointed to Oliver. “That’s where the Green Arrow comes in.”

 Oliver held up an arrow with a device attached to the end. “This has enough plastic explosive in it to shatter the disc. I send it up from there.” He pointed to a tall building nearby. “And then I detonate it.”

 Bear shook his head, raising both arms in frustration. “Yeah, this is where I started to lose the plan last time.” He turned to Oliver. “I know you’re good, but I don’t think you’re good enough to shoot an arrow that high. We’re going to be hundreds if not thousands of feet up! And you only _think_ that device will break up the disc! Not to mention that there will be two of us up there and only one needs to go somewhere, what happens if Barry gets caught in the blast? I’m not taking him with me, he has kids on the way.”

 The others had waited patiently for him to finish, and once he had they each put in their piece.

 Oliver held up his arrow. “This arrow has been altered to achieve maximum height. I’ve made some adjustments, and since I’m not trying to shoot either of you it doesn’t even matter if the head is sharp. Plus, the Black Canary will give my arrow a boost with her sonic scream. It’ll reach the disc, believe me.”

 “I’ll get it up there, Bear.” Dinah looked completely sure of it.

 Tess pointed at the device on Oliver’s arrow. “There is a huge amount of C-4 compressed into that device, and we purposely left the nitramine particles very large to create as much shock wave off the explosion as possible. If it doesn’t work I’ll be amazed.” She nudged Barry in the ribs. “Thanks for sharing that little tidbit, by the way, it was very helpful.”

 “My pleasure.” Barry noted Bear’s look of confusion. “I told her how I invented my ring and the principles required to compress my suit into it. She used it to pack that thing with so much C-4 that there’s no way it doesn’t shatter the disc. And thank you for watching out for me and my family, Bear, but once the arrow comes up you’re on your own. I’ll drop out just before Oliver detonates it.” Barry nodded to Oliver, who held up a detonator.

 Bear’s mind was quickly looking for any other possible hang-ups. “And then you’re falling to your death. That doesn’t bother you?”

 Oliver laughed. “I’ll catch him. I caught you, didn’t I?”

 Bear frowned at the group. “This is the most ridiculous plan I’ve ever heard. Do you have any idea how much could go wrong?”

 Harrison looked at the other members of the group, then back to Bear. “Yes, Bear we do. We certainly don’t want to hurt anyone or endanger our city, but we think we can get you home this way. It looks like your only option. Your secondary frequency is gone, we have no idea how to do it except this way. We have all committed to it if it will get you back to your world. Are you willing to risk it or not?”

 Bear looked at each person in turn. Even Iris, who had been standing silent and observing this entire time. Every one of them looked ready to do what needed to be done to get him home. Most of this had been worked out before he came out of his phasing crisis, when they weren’t even sure he would. They had never paused, not for a moment, in their efforts to get him home. Gratitude swelled his heart, even through his worry and misgivings. He gave them all an appreciative look. “Thank you. If you’re sure this won’t hurt anyone, then I’m willing.”

 Iris smiled at him. “Every world needs its Flash.”

 Bear looked around and realized what else was bothering him. “Where is everyone? Why are we out here in broad daylight discussing this? Where is all your staff?”

 Harrison waved a hand. “We told everyone we had a small mishap at the labs and they should all take a day or two off. It happens every once in a while, they get pay for the time off they’ll be fine.”

 Tess laughed. “The best part is when they come back, and every department is talking to every other department trying to figure out who had the mishap.”

 Through all of the technical conversation Iris had been silent, but now she spoke up. “Bear, I can’t help but notice that you’re only worrying about others getting hurt, but you haven’t given any thought to yourself. What happens when you do get back to your world? Then you’re falling to _your_ death. Have you given that any thought?”

 The blank look on Bear’s face told them all he hadn’t. Harrison snapped his fingers. “Right, that’s the other part of the plan! Bear, Tess reworked the anklet to help cycle you through different frequencies. You need to try to make contact with Cisco on your side, so they know you’re coming and are ready to catch you. Otherwise, you’ll be back in your world long enough to fall hundreds of feet and probably die.”

 Bear sighed. “Nice. That was the phone call you were talking about?”

 “That was it.”

 “Well, let’s hope he’s dreaming and subconsciously projecting.” He turned to Barry. “I’m assuming you’ll get me out again?”

 “I’ll be there, but if you do it awake, you might have better control.” Barry slung an arm around his shoulders as they moved back into the building.

 “I’ve phased so much in the last week I think I’m done for life after this.”

 Barry laughed. “You say that now, but wait until you need to get out of a locked room, or get some restraints off you.”

 “Or a bomb off my wrist?”

 “What? Who was that?”

 “Trickster.”

 “Ah. Nice one.”

 

* * *

 

  **Central City**

 

Iris lay awake in bed, thinking. It was quickly becoming her usual. She had found it hard to sleep after the singularity, dealing with her loss and grief. It had been harder still to sleep when gripped with anticipation and the idea of getting Barry back. Now, she was back to worry and grief.

 Iris didn’t spend time blaming Cisco for the failure, but it didn’t help her as she tried to deal with the aftermath of it. Barry had been so close. Close enough to make eye contact, almost solid enough to touch. It hurt deep inside every time she thought about it, an endless ache that wouldn’t go away. That night she had wept in her father’s arms, and while she had truly needed the closeness with her father that they now shared more than ever, she also craved closeness with her best friend. She missed him so much. She still missed Eddie too, but knowing that Barry was alive now, that he was out there somewhere trying to get home, made her want him back even more than when she thought he might be dead.

 Sometimes she managed to convince herself that Barry would find another way. But sometimes she felt trapped in some cosmic loop where she felt that she was always destined to lose him somehow: Physically, emotionally, or mentally. Was she somehow forever destined to lose him? To have him for a short time only to have him torn from her at some random sudden point? Was it their destiny as Iris and Barry, or Iris and the Flash? Maybe it didn’t matter. Maybe it was just her. She’d lost Eddie, after all. She’d lost her mother. She’d lost Barry twice now. Maybe she just needed to get used to losing people.

 It was thoughts like those that made her reach for her metal piece and press the edge into her palm. But since her father had pried it from her hand and replaced it with his arms, she had realized just how dependent she had become on that tiny fragment. She had been relying on it more than the people in her life. So now when she reached for it, she allowed herself only a few moments of it before she put it away again. Baby steps. If she needed something more, she called her father, Caitlin, Cisco, and even Clarissa a few times.

 It had been the second day after Barry failed to phase home that Iris realized she hadn’t heard from Cisco at all, and though she had shown up at S.T.A.R. Labs a few different times, he hadn’t been there either. That had also helped her not rely on her metal piece as she threw herself into helping someone else. She questioned (or maybe grilled) Caitlin, did some research, talked to her dad, and finally contacted Laurel Lance in the hopes that she might be someone who could break Cisco out of his self-imposed isolation.

 Jitters had been a bit difficult, but not nearly as bad as she had imagined. She had built it up so much in her mind that the reality was just not as painful. And as she leaned across the table to tell Cisco she was sure Barry hadn’t given up, she suddenly realized how much she believed it. The Barry she had grown up with wouldn’t just give up unless he had exhausted every available option. All she could do was wait and hope. And go visit Henry when she needed a boost. She made a mental note to go see him tomorrow and tell him about the attempt. She’d been afraid to before now because she didn’t want to hurt him with it. But if she knew Henry at all, he’d agree that Barry was still trying, and maybe they just had to wait a little longer.

 Her early morning thinking was interrupted as her cell phone rang. She rolled over in bed and answered it. “Hello?”

 “Iris! He found me! Barry’s coming! He said to watch for him, we need to go to S.T.A.R. Labs!” The last bit of Cisco’s sentence was slightly muffled, as if he had pulled a shirt over his head while speaking. She realized she should be doing the same.

 She leaped out of bed and raced for the closet. “I’ll call Dad and be right there!” She tossed her phone onto the bed and began pulling clothes out, giddy with excitement.

 “That’s the Bear I know!”

 

* * *

 

Bear sat up as Barry flicked off the power source to the anklet Bear was wearing. He blinked and shook his head slightly. “Well, that was way better than last time.”

 Barry grinned at his side. “I think I only had to come get you because you were so happy talking to Cisco you didn’t want to go. It’s time for you to go home, Bear. It’s been great, but you’ve been away long enough.”

 Bear nodded, looking a bit apprehensive. He made to stand up, but Barry pushed him back to a sitting position on the bed and crossed his arms. “What?”

 Bear didn’t even try to hold it in. “I’m just a little worried. This is a really delicate plan. What if it doesn’t work again? What if the next time Iris sees me I’m a splat on the ground? I don’t want that for her, not after what she’s been through. You should’ve seen the look on her face when I almost got through last time.” Bear shook his head.

 Barry gave him a sympathetic look. “I understand. Here’s a little trick I learned.” Barry looked around to make sure no one else was in earshot and sat down next to Bear. “When you get in a tough situation, you only think of one thing: Iris. Getting back to her. How you need her. It helps you focus. It helps you figure out whatever the problem is.”

 Bear’s eyebrows climbed sky high. “Is this the same guy who laughed at me because of my nickname?”

 “Shh!” Barry looked both ways and poked Bear in the chest. “If you tell anyone I said this except Iris, I’ll deny it. But yeah. I know what gets me through, and it’s her. She gets me through anything.”

 Bear couldn’t hold in a smile. “I think I already do that, though. She’s always the thought that picks me up and keeps me going.” Memories of Grodd flooded back. “Yeah. I think I already do it.” Of course, Iris had to coach him that time…

 “I’ll bet it’s not refined enough. Do you only think of her? Is the thought of her the only thing in your head when you face a dangerous situation like this? Is it your first thought?”

 Bear shrugged. “Yeah.” But then he thought of the singularity, and how thoughts of Eddie had tangled with thoughts of Iris. “Okay maybe it’s not refined enough.”

 “It doesn’t matter what’s going on in your life, or what’s going on between you.” Bear’s eyes flickered to Barry’s at this as he wondered if Iris had told Barry what he’d said about Iris’ boyfriend. Barry returned his gaze steadily. Yeah, she had. Barry continued. “I can tell she means the same to you that mine does to me. So make her your anchor. One simple thought is all it takes. One sentence, over and over. As long as I remember Iris, I’ll be all right.” Barry stared him in the eyes, and Bear could see how serious he was. It was clear that Barry had internalized this mantra a long time ago. It was ingrained in him, part of his identity now.

 “As long as I remember Iris—”

 “As long as I remember Iris, I’ll be all right.” Barry was still staring into his eyes, and it would have made Bear uncomfortable if it had been anyone else. But this was Barry Allen. Himself. The love they shared for Iris was one and the same. All-encompassing, an eternal round that crossed worlds and timelines.

 “As long as I remember Iris, I’ll be all right.” Bear looked Barry in the eyes as he said it, and could feel a strange feeling of peace settle over him. Barry seemed to see it and sat back slightly, nodding in satisfaction.

 “That’ll get you home, Bear.”

 Bear smiled, feeling the impending departure. “I’ll miss you.”

 Barry smiled. “I’m in there, Bear.” He tapped Bear’s head. “And I’m in there.” Barry tapped Bear’s chest. “That heart that beats too fast for only one woman. We’re the same.”

 Bear smiled back, fighting tears, and the two men hugged. “Thank you.” It was all Bear could manage to say.

 “Thank you, Bear.” Barry squeezed him for a moment, then let go and moved quickly away. “Better stop before Oliver gets here, I’d never live that down.”

 Bear laughed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: The science in this fic is fiction. Science Fiction. I don't pretend that it could actually happen, but I hope it was presented in a way that makes it believable within the confines of the story. :)
> 
> Also: I was hoping to get the next big segment out before the season 2 premiere, but that didn't happen. I had this fic planned out way before I saw it, I swear I didn't steal the idea of an explosion in the singularity from the ep. The writers and I are always running over each other, argh! Wait for me, guys!
> 
> The line "As long as I remember Iris, I'll be all right." was straight from the comic books, and I loved weaving it into the narrative here. :)


	16. Blow Big and Go Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The plan goes into action.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! As promised, another chapter pronto! Be sure to read chapter 15 if you haven't! 
> 
> Thanks for reading! :)

 

Iris stood in a small room off the main hallway, waiting for the action to get underway. Standing at a small window, hand massaging her back, she stared at the sky and tried to imagine what a giant black hole would look like. It was strange how weird their lives were, and yet it felt normal.

 It should be horrifically terrifying to even imagine such a thing happening, and she should be in fear of her life and her children’s lives. But that wasn’t the problem. Her problem was much closer to home. It was a low moment for her right now, pensive and worried. She rarely indulged in them. This one had sneaked attacked her. As her children slept, lulled to sleep with her movement of the day, she ran her hands over her abdomen and felt insecure about the future.

 It wasn’t about a black hole. If she had faith in anyone to be able to accomplish such a herculean feat, it was Barry Allen. Two just made it a sure thing, or as close as it could possibly be to one. Bear had already sacrificed himself to save his own world, and Iris knew her Barry would be willing to do the same. But it wouldn’t come to that. She believed in her husband, and she believed in the Flash.

 “Iris?” The Flash was standing in the doorway. The only reason she knew it was Bear was because his suit was different. He pulled his mask off and did his best to smooth his hair. He looked slightly off somehow, like he wasn’t sure what he should be doing. He threw a quick glance behind him and moved into the room slowly, gauging her face. “You okay?”

 “Yeah.” She smiled. “You ready to go home?”

 “Almost. But you look worried. Are you afraid we’ll screw up and create a black hole that will eat your world and you with it?”

 She couldn’t help but laugh a little. “No, but it sounds like that’s what you’re worried about, Bear. Am I right?”

 He smiled at the floor, slightly abashed. “Yeah.” He looked up at her with a searching expression. “If that’s not what’s bothering you, than what is?”

 She blew out a breath lightly. Time to confess. “I’m just a little worried about when the babies come.” She could practically see the uncomfortable look unfold across his face and rushed to prevent it. “Not the actual part about when they come, but the after part. The parent part.”

 Bear gave her the exact same look that Barry had given her when she’d told him this. Slightly confused, as if what she said made no sense whatever. She hesitated, and then blurted the rest. “I never had parents growing up, and I have no idea what they were like. I’m really worried that I won’t know what I’m doing. How do I know if I’m doing it right? How do I know I can do it at all? I can investigate dangerous stories, I can handle crazy villains attacking my city, and I can handle a version of my husband from a different world without blinking an eye, but deep down I’m scared of being a parent! How lame is that?”

 Bear’s eyes went soft. “Iris, you’re worried you won’t be a good mother?” He shook his head vigorously. “All you have to do, is be you. You’ve been there for me this whole time. Looked out for me, supported me. You will be the best mom in the world. These babies are so lucky to have you. So. Lucky.”

 Her look told him that he’d made her feel a little better, but hadn’t erased her doubt entirely. “That’s what Barry says. But he just says that because he loves me.”

 Bear smiled. “Just because he loves you doesn’t make him wrong. In this case, he’s very right.” He smiled at her, seeing his best friend all of a sudden. They knew each other so well. “Is this because you didn’t know your parents? Are you worried you have some kind of bad parent genetics that you don’t know about? Or that you were unlovable, so how can you be a loving parent now?”

 Her eyes flew up to meet his, and it couldn’t have been more obvious that was exactly what she was worried about. Tears glimmered in her eyes as her deepest fear was brought into the light. Bear reached for her hand. Not in any romantic way, and not because he would always love Iris in any shape or form, but because she was his friend and she was in need. And there was nothing more he wanted than to help her see herself the way he saw her.

“Iris, you never have to worry about that. You got dealt a bad hand, but you never let it change you. You are so worthy of love.” He took her by the shoulders and looked her in the eyes. “And I know you didn’t get to know your father here, but I know him. And if there’s one thing in my world he loves, it’s his daughter. Iris West. Your father loves you so much. I can tell you that without a doubt. You come by good parenting naturally. You’re going to be amazing.”

He stared into her face, trying to convey how very serious he was. Mention of the father she’d never known now became a comfort instead of a question.  Tears were shining softly in her eyes. “Thank you, Bear.”

 He smiled as he let go of her shoulders and stepped back. “So are you going to believe Barry when he tells you what a great mom you’ll be now? I can’t come back and remind you again.”

 She gave a watery chuckle. “I’ll believe him. Thank you.” They hugged. She pulled back, sniffling. “Look, you made the pregnant woman cry.”

 Bear smiled, unrepentant. “Sorry.” He suddenly realized where he should be. “I have to go. I hope you and Barry and your babies are very happy together.” He headed for the doorway and stopped to look back at her.

 “We will be. Thanks, Bear.” He smiled in reply, taking one last long look at her, and then headed out.

 She took a few moments to wipe her eyes and collect herself and was about to leave when Bear and Barry walked past the doorway. Barry’s arm was slung around Bear’s shoulders, and they were laughing together. They both glanced in at the same time and spotted her.

 Barry moved quickly to her and took her hand. “Time to send Bear home. You ready?”

 Iris took a deep breath and smiled at them both. “Yes. I’m ready.” She gave Bear a somewhat longer look, so he’d know she meant she was ready on both fronts. He returned it with a slightly quizzical expression, as if he had no idea what she was doing. But that was okay. She held Barry’s hand and rubbed the other over her belly. She knew what she was doing.

 

* * *

 

The group said their goodbyes next to the door to the accelerator. It should have been eerie and creepy in how similar it was to Bear’s last time travel journey, but for once there were nothing but good feelings going around.

 Bear held out a hand for Barry to shake, but Barry laughed and gave him a hug.

 Iris gave him a tender, slightly sideways hug to accommodate how far her belly stuck out now.

 Tess waved away another apology and gave Bear a tight squeezing hug.

 Harrison too waved away an apology and held out his hand for Bear to shake. Bear looked at it.

 “No.”

 Harrison was just barely registering what Bear had said when Bear pulled the man into a hug as well. Bear held onto him for just a moment, and then murmured, “Thank you, Dr. Wells. For everything.”

 Harrison’s face was pure surprise, and a little touched. His hand came up to pat Bear on the back. “You’re welcome, Bear. You’re very welcome.”

 Bear pulled away, collected himself and then turned to Oliver and Dinah.

 Oliver was standing with his arms crossed. “You don’t expect me to hug you, do you?”

 Bear shook his head slightly, pursing his lips. “Nooo, no I don’t.” He paused for effect. “It’s okay. But the Arrow in my world totally would.” He turned to Dinah. “It was so nice to meet you here. Take care of him.”

 Dinah gave Bear a smile, then pecked him on the cheek. “I’ll keep him around.”

 Oliver still had his arms crossed, but now he had a seriously concentrated look on his face. “He would not.”

 Bear managed an innocent look, though it was difficult. “Actually, yeah that’s the one thing he would do. I don’t expect you to tell me you love me or anything, but—”

 “Oh knock it off, or I’ll sharpen that arrow I’m sending up.” Oliver’s voice was gruff as he quickly grabbed Bear into a brusque hung and let go again. “Happy?”

 Bear’s mouth was quivering with the effort it took to hold it straight. Barry caught his eye as he stepped back, and the older man’s were gleaming with silent laughter. “Yes. I am. Thanks for everything, Oliver.”

 Oliver gave him a slight smile. “My pleasure.” Bear’s face split into a grin, and Oliver’s echoed it.

 Harrison rubbed his hands together. “It’s time to give this a try. Everyone to your places. Bear, I’m assuming you know what you’re doing in creating the wormhole?”

 “I’ve already done it once, so yeah.”

 The group made sure their comms were functioning, then separated. Bear was starting to feel nervous and excited at the same time. He waved to the group as he stepped through into the accelerator.

 This time as he ran laps, Bear wasn’t thinking about Eobard in his pipeline cell, or anything else that had been going on. He simply focused on what he wanted: Home. His family, his friends. And Iris.

 He hit Mach 2 as fast or faster than the first time he’d time traveled. He felt the speed force before he saw it, and only then did he realize that he was in a different world, and maybe things didn’t work the same for a person out of his own world. He could see images flickering, just like last time, but as they quickly sped past, making very little sense, he wondered if maybe he was actually seeing Barry’s timeline in this world. It was the only conclusion he could draw because it looked nothing like his life right now.

 Bear saw his parents, but also Barry’s parents, smiling and happy, and Oliver proclaiming himself the Green Arrow. He saw what looked like Cisco standing next to Barry, dressed in a colored costume of his own, and wearing a visor-like pair of iridescent glasses. His voice filtered in. “I like Vibe. It fits.” And finally, the longest image Bear saw was Barry and Iris in a hospital room. Iris was sitting up in the bed, clearly having recently given birth to the twins. Barry was sitting in a chair next to the bed. Iris looked tired but still so beautiful. She was holding a blanket-wrapped bundle gently in her arms, and Barry had one in his as well. Barry’s face was soft and filled with amazed delight, staring down at the baby in his hands. He smiled over at his wife, and Bear could see the love and contentment shining from his face. Iris smiled back at him, also filled with happiness and love, and then looked down at her small bundle. She ran a finger across the baby’s soft cheek, then slipped it into the baby’s hand and watched as the tiny fingers wrapped around it. Her voice was soft, and thick with emotion.

 “I thought I knew what the word love meant…”

 Bear realized he was so distracted by what he was seeing he wasn’t focusing on where he needed to go. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He and Barry had discussed the need for Barry to time travel to make sure the wormhole was created, but they didn’t want to mess anything up. So Bear was only supposed to travel back a few minutes. And Bear knew exactly how to get there. Barry had given him the key.

 He thought of Iris. The brief moment he and Barry had passed by a small room on their way to contact Cisco. He had glimpsed her and realized that Iris was standing alone, looking worried and upset. But there hadn’t been time to talk with her. If he only needed to go back a few minutes, he knew exactly where he should be.

 Supporting the person who was always supporting him.

 In the cortex, Harrison sat in front of a computer screen, Tess right next to him. Iris stood behind watching, holding hands with Barry.

 They alternated between watching Bear on the monitor and the mug of water on the console. Harrison started when it began to rise out of its cup. “Fascinating,” he breathed.

 Barry spotted it too. “This is it, release the particle.”

 Harrison pushed to correct button, and the wormhole opened. Harrison stared in wonder.

 Tess quickly assessed the readouts. “It’s stable. One minute and fifty-two seconds. Make sure the Green Arrow and the Black Canary are in place.”

 Barry stepped away to speak into his comm.

 Bear popped into the hallway outside the room he knew Iris would be in. He moved to the doorway. “Iris?” He pulled off his mask and tried to smooth his hair as he moved inside.

 

* * *

 

Bear shot out of the wormhole and skidded onto the accelerator floor. Barry was waiting for him on the upper level.

 “Five seconds, Bear! You didn’t screw up the timeline did you?”

 Bear laughed as he zipped up to join Barry. “I don’t think so.”

 Harrison and Tess came in over the comms. “Are you two ready?”

 Bear was looking down the accelerator as he replied. “Yes, but I just realized. What’s going to happen when the disc starts to—?”

 He never finished his thought, because just then the wormhole passed one minute and fifty two seconds, and just looking at it Bear could tell it was unstable. He felt a thrill of fear jolt through him. This had better not hurt anyone. “I can’t believe I let you talk me into this…”

 The wormhole began to fluctuate and ripple, and Bear could see it beginning to exert gravitational pull. Luckily, Barry had moved the pile of rubble into the accelerator once Bear was safely down the wormhole. Small bits of concrete and dust began to rise off the ground, followed quickly by much larger chunks. The disc began to assemble, looking more solid by the minute. It was larger than last time, and Bear guessed it was because the wormhole had gone unstable without closing and then reopening. That would be good because there were two of them, and they needed to get on before it rose too high. Bear made a move as it started to rise, but Barry grabbed his arm. “Not yet.”

 “But if it gets away from us—”

 Barry flashed him a grin. “It won’t. Trust me.”

 “Okay.” Bear watched the disc rise slowly. Seconds passed, but they felt much longer.

 Finally, when the disc looked solid enough, Barry tapped his shoulder. “C’mon.” He leaped from the upper level, landing on the disc, and jogged slowly to stay in one place as he waited for Bear.

 Bear quickly followed. Jogging slowly as well, he looked at Barry and then looked straight up. “It’s going to break through the ceiling! Didn’t anyone think about this?!”

 Barry nodded as Harrison’s voice came through the comm. “Necessary evil, Bear. Hang on tight it could get rough.”

 No sooner had the words come through than the disc hit the roof. Luckily for the two men riding it, it was slightly tipped on its side as it did. The edge reached first and broke open a huge hole, just like the first time. Bear felt the reverberations pass through the disc and realized how solid it really was now. He and Barry were picking up speed, keeping pace with the rotating debris. The main body of the disc moved through the hole, which was thankfully large enough to allow the disc to clear the obstacle without knocking Bear and Barry from its surface.

 Once clear of the building, the disc shuddered and began to rise in earnest, picking up speed and power. Both men stumbled and faltered as they tried to navigate swirling debris and not lose their footing at the same time. “Hang on!” Barry reached for Bear as he tipped backwards, grabbing him just in time and yanking him back. As the swirling vortex rose higher into the sky the disc leveled out and Bear could see small objects like dust and twigs beginning to rise off the ground. He and Barry were running at a more rapid pace now, staying in step with the accelerating motion. The singularity began to enlarge, becoming the familiar black hole that Bear had run in once before. A vortex of wind and debris was now blocking out the sky. Horns blared and traffic screeched to a halt as the drivers stared at them in shock. Many people were starting to run the other way. Bear felt a little guilty causing such panic, but so far he didn’t see any damage being done to property or lives. A few people had realized that there didn’t seem to be an immediate danger and stopped to watch. This Central City was obviously used to a bit more chaos and catastrophe than Bear’s. Though that might not hold true for much longer…

 He caught sight of Oliver, Dinah and Iris standing on the roof of the tallest building nearby. He only had a second before the disc was rising past them.

 “Time to run for real, Bear!” Barry was already accelerating, and Bear wasted no time in joining him. It only took a few laps to settle into their groove, running opposite directions while Bear took an upper position and Barry ran a lower one. Both were careful to avoid the center.

 Harrison crackled on the comms. “The rubble and roof pieces went with you, but I’m seeing objects begin to levitate several inches! You need to go faster to make sure nothing gets pulled in!”

 “You got it!” Bear spoke for both men as they increased their speed. “How’s that?” He was terrified he’d just helped create another disaster. He’d never be able to live with himself if he destroyed another city…

 Harrison paused to assess his surroundings, standing out in front of S.T.A.R. Labs with a laptop in his hands. The random objects he’d placed on the ground were settling back to the earth, and the the pull he was beginning to feel on his computer relaxed. “It’s good! It’s good! Hold that speed! Canary and Arrow, are you ready?”

 “We’re in position.” Oliver was all business, Bear could recognize his gruff Arrow voice. He wondered if Oliver even realized he had already used his normal voice in front of Harrison and Tess, or if it was just habit once he was working. He caught Barry’s eye as they passed each other and grinned. He knew that they had several seconds more of simply running while the disc rose, so he made sure to maintain his speed but spoke into his comm. “Harrison, I’m sorry about the roof I didn’t even think about that—”

 Harrison cut him off. “I knew it would happen Bear. If it gets you home it’s worth the time and money to repair it.” Harrison let off his comm and glanced at his wife. “Besides, maybe we should take a blanket down there and lay under the stars a few nights. Just you and me, maybe a bottle of wine? What do you think, hon?”

 Tess smiled at her husband. “Two scientists under the stars in a ruined accelerator. Sounds romantic.” She kissed him on the cheek, and he smiled as he checked the progress of the disc.

 “Are we there yet?” Bear couldn’t help asking and then realized he sounded like a kid. Below him, Barry laughed. Harrison’s voice came in again.

 “Almost there. Green Arrow and Black Canary, on my mark.”

 Oliver raised his bow and took aim for the heart of the singularity. “Ready.” Dinah tensed next to him, preparing. Iris stepped back and covered her ears. Bear and Barry kept running, but both went hyper alert, ready for the next step.

 Time seemed to stretch as Harrison counted down. Even the air felt hushed, swirling and waiting. “Three…two…one…fire!”

 Oliver let his arrow fly, and the sound of Dinah’s sonic scream shattered the air. The arrow followed its projected course, propelled higher and faster by sonic waves, straight up to Barry and Bear still running deep within the singularity. Barry saw it coming and adjusted his latest lap to catch it in one hand. He held it up victoriously, catching Bear’s gaze, without pausing a step. “Time to go home, Bear!”

 “Barry, do you have it?” Oliver’s voice was still gruff.

 “Yes I do, handing off, let me drop out before you do it.” Barry sounded like he was arranging something far less delicate and disastrous.

 Harrison’s voice was calm as well. “Waiting on you, Barry.”

 The two speedsters were still running endless laps, and Bear could feel himself starting to wear out. “Not sure how much longer I can run, guys.”

 Barry smiled as he stepped up a few pieces of debris, moving closer to Bear. “No problem, Bear. Take this.” He handed off the arrow with its C-4 charge like a baton in a relay race. “Throw it as far up as you can and make sure you don’t get blown up with it.”

 “Gee, thanks.”

 Barry laughed. “Remember what I told you!”

 Bear saluted with the arrow. “I remember.” Barry’s pace began to slacken as he slowed down a bit. Bear adjusted to keep pace. The swirling howling vortex around them began to accelerate its motion without them, and Bear realized they had precious seconds before the singularity began pulling up buildings, cars, and anyone nearby.

 Barry put out his hand and Bear automatically held it. Their red-gloved fingers curled, fingers pulling in opposite directions as Bear braced against the weight and Barry leaned back to look down the deep tunnel, trying to line himself up with Oliver as much as possible. Bear could feel the change in the singularity, the whirling suction that was building, and knew they were out of seconds.

 Barry knew it too. He looked back at Bear and smiled one last time. “Goodbye, Bear.”

 “Goodbye.” Bear relaxed his fingers as Barry let go, and Barry plummeted backwards into thin air, falling back toward his world.

 Oliver’s voice was suddenly in his ear. “It’s starting to pull things in, we need to detonate!”

 Bear had started running again, just to keep pace with the rotation. He turned and threw the arrow farther into the heart of the singularity, but not all the way in. The last thing he needed was for it to get sucked away into oblivion. “Oh, God I hope this works. Do it, Oliver!” He closed his eyes and thought of Iris.

 “Safe journey, Bear.” Oliver detonated the C-4.

 The disc blew apart, shattering into every direction. A blinding white light illuminated the center for a split second before pieces of rubble and metal roof began raining back down. The public below dashed for cover.

 Oliver quickly guided Iris into the staircase doorway leading down from the roof for protection, then returned, grappling arrow and cable already drawn, looking for Barry.

 It didn’t take long to find the crimson form rapidly descending straight toward them. Oliver was about to intercept him when Dinah beat him to it. Her sonic scream shook the air again, and Barry found his very fast progress suddenly halted and then reversed as he was caught by the sonic waves she emitted and bounced back up into the air.

 “Who—oaaaa!!!” He sailed back up twenty feet, then descended again. Only to be caught again and tossed, caught and tossed. Again and again, accompanied by the intermittent sound of sonic screaming. It was becoming quite obvious that Dinah was enjoying herself.

 “Oo—kay guys!” Barry lost his breath as he was tossed again. “You—can—let—me—down—now!”

 Oliver was laughing out loud, hand on his stomach, making no move to help. Iris had emerged and was giggling behind both hands as she watched her husband become the equivalent of a red bouncy ball.

 “Seri—oof—seriously! Stop it!”

 Dinah bounced him one more time but with far less height and finally obliged, stepping aside so Barry could land with a smack on the roof. He sat up with a groan and glared at Dinah, who looked unperturbed. “I thought Oliver was supposed to catch me. I would have preferred it, actually.”

 Dinah shrugged. “You’re down and in one piece, aren’t you? Stop complaining.”

 Oliver offered Barry a hand and pulled him to his feet. He slapped him on the shoulder. “Well, this has been fun, but I think it’s time to head back home. Call us if you need us, you know where we are. Iris, always a pleasure.” He tipped his cap to Iris and turned to go.

 Dinah gave Iris a quick hug and Barry a push on the shoulder. “Had fun. See you next time.”

 “What, you’re not going to help with cleanup?” Barry’s voice was incredulous.

 The couple turned back to him but it was Oliver who spoke. “Well, no one can get it done as fast as you, Barry. The city would appreciate it more if you do it.” They headed down the stairs.

 Barry shook his head. “Unbelievable.” He looked down at his wife. “You okay? Nothing fell on you did it?”

 Iris smiled up at him. “We’re all fine. Go help clean up and we can go home. But first, will you give me a ride down to Harrison and Tess? She wants to know where we’re registered.”

 Barry chuckled as he gently lifted his wife bridal style. “Looks like we made some new friends.”

 “Looks like we did.” Iris wrapped her arms around his neck.

 “Do you think they’ll let me raid the staff kitchen again? I burned off all my calories in the singularity.”

 “I’m sure they will.”

 

* * *

 

  It was late that night when Barry entered their bedroom. Iris looked up from her laptop. She was propped up on a throne of pillows, her feet elevated on yet another pillow.

 “Do you know how hard it is to write an article about a freak singularity that didn’t pull everything into it and merely caused a few fender benders? Especially when you know exactly why it occurred but you shouldn’t say because it will give away your husband’s secret superhero identity? Being a journalist and married to the Flash is a challenge.”

 Barry grinned. “Yeah, but you always figure out a way. Besides—” in seconds, he had cleared out the pillows behind her and removed her laptop. Then he replaced her pillow throne with himself, sitting behind her and spreading his legs so she could sit between them. She was now comfortably reclining on his chest, his hands coming around to rest on hers where they were resting on her belly. “—it’s worth it, isn’t it?”

 Iris turned her head far enough to offer a kiss, which he gladly took. “Yes. It is. I choose you, Barry Allen.”

 Supreme happiness spread across his face. “I choose you too, Iris West-Allen.”

 They sat together in quiet contentment for a moment, fingers intertwined and feeling the movement within. Finally Iris voiced what they were both thinking. “Do you think Bear made it home?”

 “Yeah. I think he did.” Barry sounded pretty confident.

 “What makes you so sure?”

 “I gave him some great advice before he left. It always brings me home.”

 “And what was that?”

 “As long as he remembers Iris, he’ll be all right.”

 Iris accepted that in silence. Her hands pulled from under his and let his palms rest on her belly. Hers laid on top and gently squeezed his. “Well then he’ll be just fine, won’t he?”

 Her husband smiled down at her. “Yes. He will.”

 “I told you you’d find a way.”

 He landed a kiss on her temple. “How much longer?”

 “We’re at twenty eight weeks and three days. Four days and eleven weeks to go.”

 Her husband sighed happily, very content with his life. “You’re amazing, Iris.” One of the twins bumped his palm.

 Iris laid her head back on his shoulder. “I think the same about you.”

 Barry’s phone pinged with a text, interrupting them. He grabbed it from the nightstand. “Oliver says he forgot to tell me what Bear did in my suit that time he wore it. What’s that supposed to mean?” He texted a reply, but the answer did not reassure him. “Maybe later… He’s not going to tell me? What did Bear do in my suit?”

 Iris giggled. “He’s messing with you, Barry. Ignore him.” She could easily picture Dinah and Oliver laughing over Oliver’s phone as they teased her husband.

 “Right.” Barry put his phone back on the nightstand and lapsed into silence. Then, “Why haven’t you ever called me Bear?”

 Her head raised off his shoulder. “What, before Bear came? I don’t know. Never thought about it before. Why?”

 “No reason.”

 His reply was mumbled, but she could read its inflection perfectly. Her fingertips stroked the backs of his hands. “Barry, didn’t you laugh at that name?”

 “Well, maybe at first, but it doesn’t seem so bad now. Kind of a neat nickname for a Barry, especially if his Iris uses it…” his voice drifted off.

 Iris giggled. “Barry, would you like me to call you Bear?”

 He was glad he was behind her so she couldn’t see the blush creeping up his neck. “I don’t know, you could…if you wanted to…maybe only in private.”

 Her grin was huge across her face, and even if he couldn’t see it, he could feel her body shaking with laughter. “You got it. Bear.”

 I love you, Iris.” He kissed her shoulder. “Seriously though, only in private. I don’t need Oliver hearing that, I have a reputation to uphold.”

 “Don’t worry I’ll uphold your manly reputation. I love you too…Bear.”

 He settled back with a contented smile again. For a few minutes.

 “What do you think Bear did in my suit?”

 “Oh we’re going to be up all night with this aren’t we? Do you want me to call and get the answer out of him? You know I can.”

 “No! It’s fine. I don’t need to know.” A few seconds passed. “Yeah, call him.”

 “Hand me the phone.”

 “Thanks babe.”


	17. Flash Fall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barry comes through to his world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last of three related chapters, and the one most of you have been waiting for! Small note, this story isn't over yet. :)  
> Thanks for reading and commenting, you guys are awesome!

 

**_Central City_ **

Ronnie entered the cortex, mouth opened to speak, but one look at the group gave him the answer he had already suspected. Nothing had changed.

Cisco was staring at a far corner of the cortex, not really seeing anything. His workstation had the metal pieces (except for Iris’) spread in front of him. Iris sat nearby at a console, her head propped up on her hand. Martin was quietly snoring in a corner. The minute Cisco had made contact with Barry he had called everyone, and everyone had come.

But that had been a week ago.

S.T.A.R. Labs now looked like an emergency shelter. Camp cots and clothing littered the cortex. Garbage cans were overflowing with fast food wrappers of every kind. Everyone’s life had suddenly been put on hold since no one had felt comfortable leaving for long. No one had any idea when Barry might return or what kind of help he might need when he did. Cisco had attempted to sleep and dream again, but no results. The entire group had been reduced to waiting, in a constant state of ready, afraid to leave for anything but very fast food, afraid to use the bathroom without someone on watch. They even slept in shifts.

It was exhausting.

After three days Joe had gone back to work but spent his evenings and nights at S.T.A.R. Labs. No one faulted him for it, considering he risked getting fired if he didn’t. No one else but Iris had a full time job to uphold while they waited, and Iris had used every last bit of her earned vacation time, which was about to be up in another day. She was now considering faking a serious illness and had even discussed with Caitlin what might be most believable without going too far.

Caitlin moved up behind her husband, touching his arm. Their shared look communicated more than words could have. They were starting to lose hope, but they hated themselves for it. Both of them knew what it meant to think someone was gone forever only to get them back again. Both of them knew they should still be waiting and looking.

But still, the niggling doubts kept working their way in. It had been a week. Barry had said he was coming, so where was he?

Ronnie put a hand on his wife’s shoulder. “I’m going to work on the roof. Keep me posted.”

“Sure.” She smiled briefly as he gave her a quick kiss and headed out.

Even their quiet exchange was enough to wake Martin, who sat up with a start and quickly scanned the room. “Anything?”

“Not yet.” Cisco’s reply was mumbled, his eyes hidden behind his special glasses. Halfway through the first day Cisco had wondered if his special visor/glasses combo would be of any help, and since he didn’t know what he was waiting for, once he put them on they hadn’t come off except during sleep. It had been a bit bizarre for the people with him at first, but eventually they got used to it.

Caitlin glanced at Martin and then at Cisco. Martin nodded. He stood and stretched, and then turned to face Cisco across the room. “I was thinking, maybe I should go home for a while.”

Cisco stared at him, the blank stare of his iridescent glasses reflecting the light. “But Barry’s not here yet. What if he comes while you’re gone? We might need you.”

Martin looked unsure what to say next, so Caitlin took a step forward. “Cisco, we all want Barry back, but it’s been a week and nothing has happened. How much longer are we supposed to wait?”

Cisco’s face settled into stubborn lines, even behind his glasses. “As long as we have to.”

“Cisco,” Caitlin’s voice was gentle. “Have you thought about the possibility that this might have been wishful thing, or maybe wishful dreaming on your part?” Iris stirred, uneasy as she waited for Cisco’s reaction.

“It wasn’t a dream. I know the difference. It was Barry, and he said he was coming.”

Caitlin tried again. “Maybe this was just the work of a guilty conscience. Maybe your mind was just trying to help you get over your guilt. We know how bad you felt when we lost him, but you can’t just put your life on hold and sit in the cortex for the rest of your life.”

“This is not a guilty conscience, this is waiting for Barry to arrive. He said he’ll need help. I’m not leaving. You go if you want.” Cisco’s voice had hardened, and he was looking more stubborn by the minute. He leveled a look at Iris. “Are you leaving?”

Iris returned his look evenly as she considered. It was a difficult balancing act, hope. Waiting every second desperately hoping for something to happen was exhausting and depressing. But that never-ending hope also prevented ultimate despair. Finally Iris realized she had settled on something slightly different: Faith. She had faith in Barry. He said he would come, and he would. She would just wait until he did. Peace settled within her as she realized it. Her hand slid over her metal piece in her pocket, the smooth surface reassuring her.

“He said he would come. I’m not leaving.” She smiled at Cisco slightly and could see a return smile just barely settle on his face. Laurel’s words echoed in the silence between them. _Don’t ever let anyone tell you that you can’t do it. Not even yourself._

The ping of the computer distracted them all. Cisco slid his chair to the appropriate monitor. “Robbery report. Witnesses say it’s Captain Cold.”

Martin looked at Caitlin. “Where’s Ronnie? We should go help.”

Cisco was shaking his head. “No, leave him.” He looked up, realizing the room had gone silent and they were all staring at him. “We can’t worry about crime right now, not when Barry could need our help at any time.”

“That’s what you said two days ago when there was a string of car thefts in Keystone. We could have stopped them after the second one, we had the perfect opportunity, and you said we shouldn’t go. They stole eight cars that night!” Martin’s voice was beginning to rise with his frustration.

“It’s not my fault Barry didn’t say when he was coming through! He just said that he was!” Cisco’s voice was on the rise as well.

Iris stood up. “Guys, this isn’t going to help—”

Caitlin’s voice could be heard at the same time. “Cisco—”

Martin cut her off. “Cisco, I know you feel guilty about losing Barry, and I have waited for a week and done everything to support your belief that he’s coming, but you can’t expect us to do this forever, and Barry wouldn’t expect it either.”

“Barry said he could count on me, and I am not going to let him down ag—”

“Cisco!” Caitlin’s voice finally cut through the arguing, and the other three all looked at her. She pointed at the console as they all finally became aware of the alarm in the background. “What is that?”

Martin reached the console first, a look of near terror spreading over his face as he realized where he had heard that sound before. “Oh my God, it’s a wormhole, it’s another wormhole. How did that happen?”

He looked up at the group and they could only stare back, all of them aware that there was no one to save them this time.

 

* * *

 

 Joe stood in Captain Singh’s office, discussing the most recent case. Patty had left already, something about a robbery, and he was sure he’d be summoned soon to go check it out. But he waited until she had closed the door and then turned back to David who still, after all this time, gave him the same look at least once a day, inquiring about news on Barry. Joe moved closer to the desk.

“Not yet.” Joe tried not to look discouraged saying it, but he didn’t quite manage it.

David took the news stoically. It was pretty much what he expected. “I thought you said you guys knew something. I thought you said he was coming back.”

“I did. Things didn’t really pan out, and now we think it might happen, but we’re all just—waiting.” Joe shrugged helplessly.

His boss nodded. “I’m not sure how much longer I can leave Allen on indefinite leave, Joe. I’m going to start getting questions soon, and I don’t have any answers.”

Joe put a hand up, half pleading, half to stop Singh from asking for information he didn’t feel he could give. “I know. A few more days. Just give it a few more days.”

Singh was nodding, eyes concerned, when the sound of squealing tires and crunching metal brought both of their attention to the window. They peered down at the street below, glad to see it was a fender bender. But the drivers didn’t get together to trade insurance information, just pointed to the sky and began running.

It didn’t take long for either man to realize what they were pointing at. Joe felt his heart sink to his shoes as he turned to look at his boss. By the look on his face, David felt the same way.

 

* * *

 

 Henry Allen sat in his cell, reading a book as usual. He glanced up to enjoy the blue sky for a moment (small and simple pleasures could be found anywhere) but froze once he saw what was in it. A swirling vortex was in the sky, and it looked just like the one that took his son from him. He got up and pressed up to the window, hoping against hope.

“Barry?”

If it wasn’t Barry, they were in a whole lot of trouble. Henry held his breath.

 

* * *

 

Captain Cold was midway through his robbery when the sky caught his attention. He had planned for it to occur in broad daylight, hoping that might up the enjoyment factors a little, but it was still too easy.

He was halfway through the hole he’d blown in the side of the wall, case with a rare vase in one hand and his cold gun in the other, when the screaming alerted him. It’s not like screaming didn’t follow a job usually, because it did. And he had his sister and Mick outside waiting to help him complete his getaway, and Lisa and Mick tended to induce screaming, so he expected it.

But this was different. This wasn’t the screaming of a few alarmed passersby as they saw him emerge from a hole in a building, or even the screaming of a group who had spotted the Golden Glider and Heatwave and were running away, knowing that the Flash wasn’t here to help them anymore. The public gave the trio a wide berth when they did see them, he was used to that and he quite preferred it.

No, this was the screaming of everyone and anyone nearby in the city, and everyone he saw was pointing or looking at the sky. Maybe that flying fire guy was here, Mick would love it. Cold pulled himself out of the hole completely and moved farther away from the building, trying to see what everyone was staring at. He had at least 2 seconds to spare before he had to be gone.

One look and his plan was suddenly, completely out the window. Time and seconds were forgotten. He stared at the sky, dropped the case, removed his goggles for a better look and had the immediate feeling of déjà vu.

A swirling vortex was in the sky.

“Lenny!” Lisa and Mick had spotted him and rushed to his side. “We need to go! What’s wrong with you? The cops will be here in twelve seconds or less!” She finally followed his gaze and saw what he was seeing.

On his other side, Mick went still. “Whoa.”

The three stared a moment, and then Lisa grabbed Cold’s arm and tried to move. He didn’t budge. He had a look on his face she hadn’t seen for years. It wasn’t often he was indecisive about anything.

“We should go see what’s going on.” Cold’s voice was calm as usual.

Both Mick and Lisa’s heads whipped to stare at Cold. Mick spoke first. “Think I’d rather go the other way, buddy.”

Lisa shook her head. “Len, we need to get out of here. We need to get as far away as possible and hope it doesn’t get us. Let’s go!” He still didn’t move. He hadn’t even looked at her, he was still staring at the sky. She hardened her voice, speaking in clipped syllables to get his attention. “Don’t go running toward this kind of trouble. You’re a criminal, you’re wanted. You need to look out for yourself. And there is nothing you can do about this.”

That seemed to do it, and he took a step in the direction she was pulling him. But then he straightened up and pulled his arm out of her grasp. He replaced his goggles and gave her the strangest smile she had ever seen in all their years. It twisted his face and made him look almost human.

“That’s no excuse, sis.”

He turned and ran toward the city center, cold gun in hand, running toward the vortex in the sky. Exactly the opposite direction everyone else was running. The crowd parted as he moved through it, avoiding him even in the middle of chaos.

Lisa stared after him. Mick looked thoroughly confused. They looked at each other, debating their next move.

 

* * *

 

 Iris, Martin, Cisco and Caitlin raced outside, standing in the grass where Catlin and Ronnie had married. They stared up at the heavens, aghast.

“Barry, what did you do?” Cisco’s words were barely murmured.

Martin looked around them quickly. “Something’s different. It’s not drawing anything in.”

“What?" Iris moved closer, holding her hair.

Martin gestured widely. “There’s a lot of wind, but nothing’s getting sucked in this time! Look!”

It was true. There was dirt swirling and blowing in the wind, pieces of trash caught in the gusts, but there were no cars lifting off the ground, no buildings breaking apart. The group relaxed slightly, realizing they may not be in imminent danger.

“Then what’s happening? What’s going on?” Caitlin too was holding her hair back, squinting in the wind.

Iris’ voice could barely be heard as she breathed a name. “Barry.”

“It’s Barry! It has to be Barry! What else could it be?” Cisco laughed as he agreed with her.

Iris smiled. “He’s always late.”

Martin put two and two together and realized what was needed. He turned to the roof and bellowed against the wind.

“Ronald!”

 

* * *

 

 Ronnie had been busy welding metal, his welding mask and heavy gloves on, trying not to think about the past week as he worked. He hated himself for doubting, but he acknowledged that a week had passed and nothing had happened. At least he could make himself useful, working with his hands always helped him deal with things. He welded a thick metal plate to another, watching the flame join two into one.

Until a shadow passed over his work area. He turned off his torch then pulled off his mask and looked up, wondering if it might rain.

Then he stared at what was causing the shadow. “Oh my God.” How could that be? How could this have possibly happened again? His gloved hands gripped the roof automatically, bracing for a pull.

But it never came. He had only just realized it, only just put together what that might mean, when he heard Martin’s voice carry over the wind.

It was a good thing he’d helped build this building, because he knew exactly how pitched the roof was, and exactly what was below it. This section dropped a short distance to the pavement. It was the shortest and fastest possible way down. Without thinking twice, Ronnie moved to the correct section and took a running slide at it, shooting down the curve of roof and landing on the concrete below. He tucked and rolled on his landing, his gloves protecting his hands, and then he stood up and started running, throwing off his gloves as he did.

He had only just rounded the corner when Iris gave a startled exclamation. Her arms flew into the air in surprise as something burst out of her pocket with a zinging sound, and they all saw her metal piece fly into the air, gaining speed as it went. They had only just realized what had happened when grinding and groaning could be heard echoing across the city. They all turned toward it. And they all recognized what was about to happen.

“Oh no.” Martin breathed, as Cisco gasped and Caitlin covered her mouth with her hands. Iris watched in growing dread.

It was Ronnie who said it out loud. “The pieces are being drawn to their frequency source.”

It was true. Next to the building that had shattered and ripped apart the day of the singularity, the one they were now rebuilding, there was a now-empty lot being used as a temporary junkyard for the scrap metal and pieces of wreckage recovered over the city. If the pieces Cisco and Iris had found had a unique frequency due to being a part of the disc, then these ones did too.

And they all looked like they were being dragged up into the sky, attracted to the vortex.

Cisco only had a moment to remember the junkyard he’d seen while connecting with the pieces and put it together before wreckage of every kind began to rise out of it. Pulling from under debris that did not have the same frequency, lifting out and up, pieces big and small rose into the sky, looking like a swarm of bees. But a swarm of bees is not usually made from steel beams, jagged sheets and parts of cars. This one was far more terrifying.

At that moment, a figure dropped out of the middle of the vortex, and everyone knew who it must be. His red form fell through the air—on a collision course with the metal pieces.

“Barry,” Iris’ voice was a whisper.

Cisco’s was a shout. “They’ll bash him to pieces!”

 

* * *

 

“Oh my God I hope this works.”

Barry had thrown the arrow up into the singularity and gauged a safe distance from it. The howling wind and motion were increasing now that no one was running to counteract it. It was a bit terrifying. He closed his eyes and thought of Iris.

 _As long as I remember Iris, I’ll be all right._ He repeated the mantra over and over for what seemed like minutes but were probably only milliseconds.

“Safe journey, Bear.” Oliver’s voice came over his comm, and then the world around him exploded.

_As long as I remember Iris, I’ll be all right._

Breaking a disc apart with C-4 was quite different than running fast. The blast shook the entire disc. Again, he was swept off his feet.

Barry’s eyes were closed, but he still saw the white light flash through his eyelids, and he hoped desperately that this was the right door to the right world. The concussive waves pushed him end over end as he sailed through the air, and he opened his eyes to see blue sky and fragments of disc falling away from him.

_As long as I remember Iris, I’ll be all right._

He was falling headfirst hundreds of feet, and what probably took less than a few minutes felt like hours. He realized he was falling backward and shifted so he could roll, turning to fall front first and splaying his limbs in the hopes of slowing himself even marginally. In spite of it, he could feel himself gaining speed as he dropped. He rotated his arms, trying to garner some kind of resistance with a wind funnel, but he couldn’t get enough traction going to even maintain a normal person’s arm rotation, the wind was battering and buffeting him too much.

In the end, he simply spread-eagled and prayed. It was the biggest, most psychotic trust fall anyone had ever attempted, and he really hoped his friends were around to help out.

_As long as I remember Iris, I’ll be all right._

The wind watered his eyes and made him squint, but he did his best to assess his surroundings in spite of it. The city looked different than the one he had just left. That was something.

It took him a moment to realize that there were more objects in the sky than there really should be.

There was a cluster of metal pieces rising from the ground, and they were all headed straight for him.

_Iris…_

 

* * *

 

Ronnie and Martin both began running, fusing as their paths crossed. They took to the sky immediately, pushing harder than usual in an attempt to catch up to the storm of metal, but the lighter and smaller pieces were far ahead. A piece struck his chest, over his heart. Barry’s arms came up, trying to shield his face and head as small bits and dust hit him first. Shards pierced his suit sleeves and hood while others rolled off him on their way past, reaching for the vortex. A piece the size of a frying pan glanced off his elbow. Firestorm moved into the storm, trying to navigate girders and metal hunks, then a car door in order to reach Barry. They zigged and zagged, moving steadily up closer.

But larger sections were reaching Barry now as he fell into the group and met them halfway. He braced himself to be beaten and battered, maybe killed. A twisted piece of huge wreckage came right at his helpless falling body. He braced for impact.

But the impact never came. Mere inches from Barry, the piece suddenly froze over and dropped.

Everyone stared at it, and then at the man responsible. Captain Cold was standing next to them, firing his cold gun at every piece he could see about to collide with the Flash.

“Cold?” Cisco gasped, but was distracted by both Golden Glider and Heatwave as they moved into position and began firing as well. Piece after piece was frozen, gilded, or blasted out of Barry’s way as he descended through the storm. A path slowly cleared.

Cold’s words were emerging in time with his shots. “If. You. Ever. Tell. Anyone. About. This. I’ll. Freeze. Your. Feet. To. The. Train. Tracks.”

“Noted.” Cisco turned to the other two. “What about you guys?”

Lisa shrugged. “Didn’t have anything else fun to do today.” She hit a sharp jagged metal piece, covering it in gold as it spun out of Barry’s way.

Mick Rory was staring at his next target, but there was no mistaking his admiring tone and who he was talking about. “My hero is up there.”

Iris didn’t even care who was doing what as long as Barry made it safely to the ground. She and Caitlin stood together, tensed and waiting. For the first time in her life, Iris wished she had powers.

 

* * *

 

Joe and Singh were also watching in suspense from a few blocks away. They were too far away to see what was happening on the ground, but they had a clear view of what was going on in the sky from Singh’s window. Joe knew he would never make it to S.T.A.R. Labs in time, and if he did there wasn’t anything he could do anyway.

Slowly others below them stopped running and screaming. They all stared, squinting at the falling figure and the man on fire in the sky closing the distance between them.

 

* * *

 

 Firestorm was quickly closing the gap, and for a moment it looked like he was going to get to Barry on time.

Until Martin’s voice sounded inside their head. _“Look out!”_

What looked like a metal door slammed into them, sending them careening into other pieces, spinning far off course and out of the metal storm.

 The spectators below gasped, horrified and helpless.

Even Mick Rory was dismayed. “C’mon!”

_“Are you okay?”_

“I’m fine.” Ronnie finally managed to pull out of the spin and looked around quickly, disoriented but looking for Barry.

The Flash fell past Firestorm’s position in the sky, accelerating as he got closer and closer to the ground. Firestorm recovered and immediately gave chase, but they were too far away and had lost precious seconds. They weren’t catching up with him in time. He was going to crunch into the ground before they could get to him. Ronnie’s arm was stretched as far as he could reach, and he could tell that he was still yards away.

_“We’re not going to make it!”_

Ronnie didn’t bother to reply. He knew Martin was right.

Barry watched the ground fast approaching and realized he was staring death in the face. He closed his eyes. _As long as I remember_ _Iris…_

The group assembled on the ground by S.T.A.R. Labs began to panic. Iris frantically looked around for something to buffer Barry’s fall, but he was coming too fast and was too near the ground. There was no time. She stared in horror at Barry’s form. _Barry…_

Cisco turned to the Rogues. “Do something!”

“Do you want me to freeze him, because that’s only going to make the landing worse!” Cold’s voice was still barely calm, though there was a current of tension running through it. Mick and Lisa looked at their guns and realized they were useless as well.

“He’s going to die!” Cisco looked up, wondering if he could just throw his body under Barry’s but surely that wasn’t going to do much.

Barry was close enough to see the symbol on his suit, Firestorm was still at least twenty to thirty feet behind him, and Cisco realized deep in his bones that he had failed his friend.

He had failed him again.

His mouth opened in horror and his eyes caught sight of Iris. Her face had the same look she’d had at the funeral, that look he never wanted to see again on any of his friends. That look of utter devastation and loss. They were right back where they had been, losing Barry all over again except this time it was permanent and brutal, the crushed body of their friend and hero on the pavement.

His hands, on both sides of his head as he registered the truth, now came up in a useless attempt to ward off the impending landing even though that was impossible.

And then the impossible happened.

Somewhere from Cisco’s palms erupted wave upon wave of sonic energy, radiating into the air above them. The considerable force and power behind them caught Barry mid-fall and projected him straight up into the air again—right into the waiting hands of Firestorm.

“Gotcha!” Ronnie’s tone was astounded and relieved.

Barry’s eyes had opened when Cisco’s sonic waves blasted him upward. Incredulous, he looked upward at his rescuer. A small laugh released his nerves and tension.

The group surrounding Cisco was staring, disbelieving. Cold had a sudden recalculating look on his face, and Lisa seemed like her breath had been taken away. She was looking at Cisco as if he had been dipped in something delicious. Iris was holding back tears, delighted with Cisco’s new ability and the results of it while Caitlin simply stared in amazement. Cisco held out his own hands as if they were suddenly new to him.

Firestorm gripped the back of Barry’s suit, holding tight to each shoulder area as they lowered him safely to the ground. His feet touched and he stumbled, falling to a crouched position with one hand down, breathing hard, feeling the pavement beneath him as if he could hardly believe it was real. Firestorm touched down behind him.

Barry looked up and realized that the vortex had disappeared, and with it any pull exerted on leftover pieces of wreckage that hadn’t made it into the singularity. Several large chunks were on their way back down, and they were about to land on people.

He sprang into action and zipped onto the overpass behind them, moving several people out of the way before the hulk of a car crashed down. Firestorm blasted one out of the area with a casual motion, sending it spinning away. The Flash managed to clear the nearby area of people for the last two pieces to land before he came to a stop again, still breathing hard, still high on adrenaline. The S.T.A.R. Labs team stared at him in delight and each one almost rushed forward to embrace him, until they realized there was a roaring sound all around them. Barry and the still merged-together Firestorm turned in a slow circle, gradually realizing that all around them in every direction there were people who had been watching the drama unfold from afar. They were on the overpass, across the river, standing outside buildings, a few were even hanging out of windows. And they were all cheering.

The Flash had returned to Central City, and they welcomed him.

Screams and applause washed over Barry and Firestorm as they raised their hands to acknowledge it. Both looked slightly embarrassed. More people rushed into the space where Iris, Caitlin, and Cisco had been standing, wanting to get closer. Cold used the opportunity to melt away into the mass of people with his cohorts, eager to disappear. Mick was a bit disgruntled having to leave before he could get closer to his idol. Iris and Caitlin clapped and cheered as well, purposely blending with the crowd and becoming anonymous spectators.

Barry stepped forward and grabbed Cisco’s arm, pulling him forward to stand with Firestorm and himself. Cisco’s identity remained hidden behind his glasses, but his T-shirt and slacks were on full display. Most of the crowd was too far away to get a good look at him anyway. He too self-consciously raised a hand to wave at the crowd, unused to the spotlight. The roaring got louder.

Cisco was supremely uncomfortable with all the attention. He mumbled out of the corner of his mouth.

“Dude, get me out of here.”

Barry laughed.

Then he grabbed his friend and raced away, taking the extremely long way around town and back to S.T.A.R. Labs to avoid any suspicion.

Firestorm rose into the sky with a whoop and left as well, looking for a private place to separate and make their way back.

 

* * *

 

 Blocks away, Singh and Joe were also cheering. Joe almost hugged his boss in sheer relief before he realized that might be stepping over the line. Singh clapped him on the shoulder.

“The Flash is back, Joe.” He was grinning ear to ear, something Joe had never actually witnessed.

Joe smiled back, but he couldn’t quite hide the moisture in his eyes. “Yes he is. Do you mind if I—?” He gestured in the general direction of S.T.A.R. Labs.

Singh shook his head. “Go. I’ll make your excuses.”

“Thank you Captain.” Joe set off at a run.

 

* * *

 

In his cell, Henry pressed his hands flat against the wall as he stared out his window. He was still breathing hard, but he was also exhilarated. Barry was back. His son was home. He smiled, a small laugh emerging. Just a matter of time. Good thing he had learned how to be patient in the last 15 years.

“Welcome back, son.”

 

* * *

 

 Barry had barely entered S.T.A.R. Labs through the back way when he came to a stop and put Cisco down. Barry pulled off his mask and hood, and Cisco removed his glasses. They grinned at each other for a moment, and then Cisco gripped him in a hug that made it feel like Barry had cracked a rib.

“Dude, I missed you.”

“Thanks for the help, Cisco. What was that with your hands? I thought I was screwed!”

Cisco looked at his hands again. “I’ve never done that before. I only have one explanation.”

“Sonic waves, part of your vibration powers?” Barry’s eyebrows rose.

“Nope. I have force powers, man!” Cisco looked delighted.

Barry was still laughing as Caitlin came down the hallway and rushed to hug him, squealing. They hugged, and when he stepped back Iris was in the hallway as well. For a moment they just stared at each other.

It should have been jarring to see her, hair longer, not pregnant, and slightly younger. But even spending time with an Iris from another world couldn’t erase the girl standing in front of him. His best friend. The woman he loved. His Iris. He could read every bit of her face. The grief, the stress, the strength. The sheer happiness that he was home. He breathed out a sigh. The world finally felt right.

“Iris.”

She rushed at him, leaping into his arms and wrapping her own around him. Much like she had done when he woke from the coma. But this time, as he let her down she didn’t pull back to talk to him, or to see his face. She just pressed her face into the leather of his suit, arms still around him, and held on tight. Barry kept his own wrapped around her, strong and reassuring, until she finally felt able to pull back. Cisco and Caitlin were averting their eyes, not sure whether to go or stay.

Her eyes were glimmering with tears. “I knew you’d come back, Barry.”

He gave her that soft smile that he only ever gave to her. “I’m so sorry I was gone when you needed me.”

“You’re back now. That’s what matters.”

Joe burst into the hallway, followed by Ronnie and Martin. “Barry!” He grabbed Barry in a tight hug. “Don’t ever do that again! I thought we’d lost you for good this time.”

Barry’s shoulders shook as he laughed in Joe’s embrace and returned it. “I don’t plan on it, Joe.” When Joe finally let him go, he turned to Martin and Ronnie. “Professor, Ronnie. Thank you. I was really hoping you’d be there to catch me.”

Ronnie smiled as he shook Barry’s hand and moved to put an arm around Caitlin. “I seem to remember you catching us once before, Barry. Glad we were able to return the favor.”

Martin shook Barry’s hand as well. “We almost didn’t. Thank heavens for Cisco here.” He turned to Cisco, grinning broadly. “Well done, Cisco. You’ll be a force to be reckoned with.”

“Speaking of the force…” Cisco headed down the hallway, Martin following closely.

A beat of silence fell. “Did I miss something?” Joe looked completely confused.

Iris giggled as she grabbed an arm on Joe and Barry, leading them down the corridor as well.

“I need to hear about everything, Barry. Spill.”

 

The rest of the day went quickly. Clarissa came bearing food for everyone, and the cortex was returned to its usual state. It was hours later, after celebrating Barry’s return, after basic details of Barry’s journey had been shared, after Caitlin had performed a checkup on Barry to make sure there was no lasting damage, after everyone exclaimed about Cisco’s newfound ability, and after Cisco lamented on the state of Barry’s suit, that Barry found a quiet moment to ask what had been on his mind since he left.

“So, I know I’ve been gone a little while, but I was hoping I hadn’t missed it or anything, but…has Eddie’s funeral already happened?”

The group stared at him. Barry looked at them warily, realizing that something was wrong but not sure what.

It was Cisco who finally spoke. “Barry, how long were you in that other world?”

“I don’t know…two weeks, fifteen days, something like that. It was a long shot I guess…” Barry’s voice faded as he took in the shock pervading the room.

Cisco leaned forward. “Dude. You’ve been gone _five months_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun Dun DUN!  
> Raise your hands, anyone who picked up on the subtle clues that time was passing differently in both worlds! I admit I made it pretty subtle, so perhaps if you caught it you thought I was just making mistakes. Not so! I planned to have Barry be gone 5 months to reflect the hiatus, since the writers seem to do that every season, lol. 
> 
> But yay Barry is back where he belongs! :D Don't worry, plenty of westallen reunion feels and relationshippy stuff coming your way!


	18. Together Apart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barry and Iris work through his return.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry it took so long, life is insane. Huge long chapter to make up for it! :)  
> Now I know that the show is causing quite a bit of angst and many use fic for an escape. But the story goes how the story goes. The good news is that if you've read my other stuff you'll know my endgame and I won't take nearly as long getting there! Hang in there! *hugs*  
> As always thanks for reading, kudos and commenting, you guys are the best!

 

 

**_Flash Returns to Central City_ **

**_Unexplained phenomenon precedes the hero’s sudden reappearance_ **

**By Iris West**

_Yesterday citizens were panic-stricken when it appeared that the singularity that ravaged our city five months ago had returned. No one has forgotten that it was the Flash who saved us last time and disappeared without a trace. What could we do now without our hero to help us?_

_Luckily, we didn’t have to find out, because what looked like a black hole ready to consume more of our city was actually a blessing in disguise. Through it, the Flash reappeared and fell through the sky as the city watched. Another newly recognized hero, the man-on-fire known as Firestorm, was witnessed racing to catch the Flash before he landed and was killed. Many details are unclear, but another figure was instrumental in saving the Flash as he fell toward certain death. The Flash is alive and well and in Central City again._

_Little is known about the mysterious person who assisted our hero, or what happened to the Flash regarding his missing time and return. Also unexplained is the storm of metal that rose from a junkyard and flew into the sky. Strange things occurring in Central City are quickly becoming the norm. But one thing is certain: We in Central City are very happy to see the Flash running through our streets once more._

Iris sat back from her computer with a satisfied sigh. This was one Flash article she was happy to write. She quickly scanned it once more for errors and sent it in, eager to be done for the day. Barry was waiting at Joe’s house, and she was due to join him for their nightly dinner and Netflix.

 It had been less than a week since Barry made it back home, but their nightly hang-out session quickly became Iris’ favorite time of day. After five months without her best friend, Iris was happy to soak up as much Barry-time as she possibly could. They ate, they watched television, and they talked. They talked a lot. She loved it.

 She gathered her things and tried not to run out the door.

 

* * *

 

 Five months. Barry couldn’t believe it. The whirlwind visit to another world that had passed so quickly had lasted five months back home. Cisco’s words had reverberated in his mind as he stared at the group, aghast…

  _“Dude, you’ve been gone five months.”_

_Martin Stein and Cisco immediately jumped on the discovery and settled into a serious discussion riddled with scientific terms. It was fascinating to them that time would pass differently in both worlds. Barry realized that might explain the difference between his age and Barry’s in the other world, but that did nothing to help the shock and dismay running through his brain._

_It was like waking up from the coma all over again, but so much worse. During his coma Central City hadn’t been ravaged by a singularity. Iris hadn’t been reeling from the death of her boyfriend and Joe his partner. Barry felt like he’d abandoned everyone in his life when they’d needed him most, not to mention the city and police department._

_“Barry.” Iris put her hand on his arm and startled him out of his thoughts. He met her eyes and could see that she was already clueing into his emotions. “It’s okay.”_

_He pushed to his feet with a jerky movement. “I—I know, but I just can’t—I mean everything still just barely happened for me, and you all have been dealing with this for so much longer…” his voice faded away as he ran his hands through his hair. “I’m so sorry, guys.”_

_Joe spoke up from the console he was leaning on. “It’s not like you meant for it to happen, and you were saving the city. It happened, Barry. No use worrying about it now.”_

_Barry only faintly registered his words as he scanned the group. Iris was wearing her hair differently, and he could see lines under her eyes that hadn’t been there before. Cisco looked tired. Martin looked like he had lost weight. Caitlin and Ronnie rarely moved away from each other for very long when they were in the same room together. Joe looked like he had aged five years instead of five months. Now that he was looking for it, Barry could see the last five months in all of them. But it still felt so fresh and new to him, and he was still expecting Harrison or Tess to walk through the doors at any time._

_He was home, but he suddenly felt out of place…_

 Now, almost a week later, the only time he didn’t feel out of place was the evening when he and Iris hung out at home together.

 Once Joe had spoken to Captain Singh again they decided that Barry should lie low and return to work after a week to avoid possible connections with the Flash’s return. It wasn’t perfect, but it would have to do. Barry was not entirely happy that Singh was now in on his secret, but he had to admit that he wasn’t surprised that the man had worked it out. Captain Singh was pretty smart, after all.

 A week keeping a low profile now meant that Barry was actively avoiding his usual haunts, with the exception of S.T.A.R. Labs. He spent most of his time there or running through the city getting reacquainted with it. But that week the evenings (after a quick patrol) were reserved for home, hanging out with Iris and Joe if he wasn’t working.

 The first night was Iris pumping Barry for every detail of his time in another world. Just talking about it was mind-boggling to her, as was the idea that there was a somewhat more light-hearted Oliver Queen in existence, and another Barry married to another Iris. Barry didn’t hold back anything, so the first night was strangely intimate as they discussed Barry’s nickname there and the idea that Iris in another world had grown up without parents and was pregnant with twins. Twins fathered by Barry Allen.

 Somewhere in another world, a Barry and an Iris were happily married.

 Iris sat quietly for several moments as she digested that. The air was heavy with something she couldn’t quite identify. She sneaked a look at Barry, checking to see if he had that familiar face he’d displayed in the past when thinking about them being together. That face she’d finally deciphered after years. The one that said he’d give anything to make it happen. Their awkward scene at Jitters resurfaced in her mind, along with the phrase “let’s stop thinking and start doing”. She couldn’t decide how she felt when he didn’t display anything like that face this time. He was simply waiting for her next question. It popped out, unbidden.

 “Did Iris hyphenate in that other world?” She couldn’t stop the sly glance she gave him, remembering their last conversation on the rooftop.

 Barry answered readily. “She did, actually, yes. She felt it was more professional. And I think it was a link to her parents that she didn’t want to let go of.” He smiled in a slightly reminiscent way. Iris tried to repress jealousy against a different world version of herself. She waited for the comment she felt must be coming, where Barry would try to steer the conversation toward the infamous future newspaper article with Iris West-Allen as the author. She wasn’t quite sure how she was going to reply. But she was sure it was coming.

 Instead, Barry brought up the different version of Harrison Wells and Tess from the other world. He settled into the couch and warmed to his subject. Flustered, Iris allowed the detour but then decided it was probably best left alone anyway.

 After all, that article contained the headline about a missing Flash, and she really didn’t feel like delving into that topic again. The idea of being destined to lose him was still something that worried her. Plus, he had already tried to tell her they didn’t know if that would ever happen now.

 They settled into easy conversation and only realized they hadn’t watched any television at all when Joe walked in the door around eleven. It felt like old times again.

 The next night it was basic discussion, like catching Barry up on recent events. (He was making a new habit of apologizing for every small thing he had missed. It was actually starting to grate on her a bit.) Mention of Eddie was avoided, neither seemed to want to broach that particular subject yet. They watched the original Star Wars trilogy while Barry subtly flicked popcorn her way. Iris threw a handful that he caught and ate using his super speed. She accused him of cheating.

 Sometimes the conversation went a bit deeper, like the next evening when Iris mentioned meeting Jacob, which then led to the story of Black Eye.

 Barry sat up straight on the couch, looking at her with sudden deep horror. “You went up against a murderous metahuman while I was away? Why didn’t anyone tell me this before?”

 “I’m telling you now.” Iris was far less worried about it than he was. “Honestly it happened so long ago it’s not on the top of my mind anymore.” She shrugged. It was just a memory now, filed away with plenty of others she didn’t dwell on regularly.

 But it was brand new to Barry, and he wasn’t taking it all that well. He still had that horrified look on his face, that terror in his eye. “Oh my God, Iris I’m so sorry. I should’ve been there.”

 “Nothing about that was your fault. You were in another world, Barry.”

 “I know, but you could’ve been killed! I’m so sorry I wasn’t there when you needed me.”

 That last sentence, uttered for probably the fifteenth time, finally snapped her patience.

 “Stop it!” Iris jumped up from the couch. “Will you stop saying that? Stop apologizing! I got through just fine. It wasn’t your support or help I wanted, Barry! The only thing I missed while you were gone was _you_!”

 The words rang through the house. Barry just stared at her a moment, his eyes wide at her show of emotion. “Okay. You’re right. Sorry, I wasn’t trying to imply that you were weak or anything. You’re one of the strongest people I know. But I need you to understand that I want to be there for you because I’m your friend. And I hate the idea of you facing danger without me around, not because you can’t handle it, but because I will always _want_ to help you. That’s never going to change.” He waited, carefully assessing her reaction to those words.

 She seemed to take them well. Her shoulders relaxed and she sat down next to him again. “Okay then. I feel the same way about you, you know.” She poked his side, eliciting a small laugh.

 “Glad we’re on the same page. You’re not weak, Iris.” Barry squeezed her hand and then reached for the remote to start their latest movie.

 Iris stared at the movie but took very little in. Instead her mind was running back over the last few years.

 Iris had never considered herself weak. That was not usually the way she viewed herself. Her father had taught her to box from a young age, and all through their youth she had been able to best Barry in almost anything physical. At least until he finally got taller than her. Even with her smaller size, she never truly felt physically weak. The same was true of her intelligence. She was smart. She knew it, and she used it. She rarely felt weak when it came to her brains.

 Emotionally, she wasn’t sure she could say the same. She was pretty sure that most people didn’t feel strong while in the middle of a difficult struggle or terrible time in their life. It was only after the storm was over that people usually recognized the strength they showed, if they ever truly recognized it.

 Looking back, Iris realized how much she had relied on Barry in their youth. They both had no mother, Joe was working much of the time to support them, and as a result they relied on each other heavily for support emotionally. Barry would probably say that he leaned on her more, but Iris was pretty sure it had been far more of an equal thing. Barry had been her rock, her constant right up until he was struck by lightning. Then, she’d been alone. And it wasn’t until she had been so alone that she realized how weak she really was. She had spiraled without him, and ultimately allowed someone else to fill the void.

 Eddie had slipped into that void slowly. She’d felt guilty about it even as it happened, because she had felt that she was giving up on Barry. That was where she felt weak. So Eddie had slipped into her life, a boyfriend she later realized she’d never been meant to have. And then she couldn’t hurt him and throw him away after Barry woke up, after Barry confessed his feelings. She had loved Eddie, and she cared for Barry. She sat on the fence between them. That too was where she felt weak.

 And then fate had robbed her of both. She had tried to walk the line, to keep both men in her life, to not hurt either of them unbearably, and then they were both gone. But this time the void hadn’t been filled by an external source. She hadn’t clung to another person or an artificial escape. She had filled the void with her own strength. She no longer needed Barry or Eddie or even her father to be her constant emotional support. It wasn’t like she didn’t still need people in her life, because she did. But she didn’t depend on them so heavily anymore. That was where she felt strong. If she was here spending time with Barry it was because she wanted to, not because she needed to.

 The only time she couldn’t decide on her level of strength was the short time before everything had changed. She had been with Eddie, and she loved him. Wasn’t it strong to stay with him and be loyal? Or was that cowardice in the end? Was it strong to decide that Barry was too late, to stay with Eddie in spite of everything, or was it weak to cling to him, even as she slowly came to realize that she had stronger than best friend feelings for Barry? For just a moment before Barry had time-traveled, it had seemed as if the universe had handed her a simple solution. And then it had gone all wrong. She hated herself for that. Even now, she couldn’t decide if she should continue to honor Eddie’s memory or move forward. And she couldn’t decide if that was strong or weak.

 The weight on his shoulder became heavier and heavier until Barry realized Iris had fallen asleep on him. He smiled to himself and settled in more comfortably, using his spare arm to drape a blanket over them both as best he could.

 Ever since his return Barry had made sure to school his thinking in one specific direction: Choose to be happy. Iris was everything to him, and she always would be. She was truly his anchor. But being friends with Iris in another universe, watching her be married, about to have children, happy with a man who was him but really wasn’t had helped him realize that he could handle it. Iris had loved Eddie. One day she would find someone she loved just as much, and she’d get married. And Barry would be with her supporting it every step of the way. He’d take her friendship, the love that she could give him, and he’d be happy with it. He chose to be happy with it. Iris was always going to be in his life, and he was grateful for even that much.

 Eobard had changed so many things, but that didn’t mean Barry had to make himself miserable with it. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and mentally added another strand to his silken rope of gratitude. He was so lucky to have Iris in his life at all.

 Joe arrived home a few hours later and found both Barry and Iris sound asleep on the couch. He folded his arms as he stood behind them and shook his head, hiding a smile. Barry’s legs were on the coffee table, sticking out of the blanket uncovered because Barry had clearly been more concerned with keeping Iris warm. Iris was in the hollow of Barry’s shoulder, his arm wrapped around her shoulders still while she rested comfortably against him. Her face looked more peaceful than Joe had seen it in months.

 There had been many times through the years that Joe had arrived home to find Iris and Barry asleep on the couch in front of the TV. He had thought that he would never see this sight again. He couldn’t bring himself to wake them, to spoil it. He draped another blanket over them, making sure to cover Barry’s legs too, and climbed the stairs to bed.

 

* * *

 

 When the morning light hit Barry’s eyes he groaned and tried to raise a hand to rub them, but it was trapped under something. He turned his head and realized exactly where he was and what was on his arm.

 Iris was smiling up at him, a grin playing around the corners of her mouth. “Morning, sunshine.”

 He groaned, stretching as much as he was able while still sitting. His chest rose several inches as he did, lifting Iris as well since she was still resting on it. She giggled. “Sore?”

 “I haven’t felt this sore since spending the night on Barry and Iris’ couch.” Barry sat up slightly to ease the strain on his back, flexing his toes as his legs stretched out to their considerable length.

 Iris sat back a bit to accommodate him. “They didn’t have a spare bedroom for you?”

 “It was being turned into a nursery. I was fine on the couch. Except for random episodes of phasing.” Barry stretched out his arms too, rotating his wrists slightly.

 Iris watched in silence, feeling unnecessarily warm. She pushed off the blankets, letting them fall to her waist. But she still couldn’t quite tear her eyes off of him as he stretched. There was something whispering inside her that she couldn’t quite put her finger on, something familiar but not in this setting. She frowned slightly, trying to work it out.

 Barry eventually realized that she was watching him closely and gave her a quizzical look. Iris averted her eyes, feeling flushed. Just the idea of a nursery, babies, married to Barry… To distract herself more than anything else she glanced at her watch. “Oh! I’m going to be late for work, I need to go.”

 “Just what I was coming down to tell you.” Joe’s voice echoed down the stairs as he descended, tying his tie with his suit jacket draped over his arm.

 Iris leaped off the couch and kicked the blankets off her legs. Her voice came out slightly higher than usual. “Okay then, Barry I’ll meet you at S.T.A.R. Labs tonight so we can eat at that new taco place?” Barry nodded. Iris quickly slipped her shoes on and grabbed her things, cursing silently when her purse refused to untangle from her coat. She felt awkward and clumsy. What was wrong with her? She hugged her dad and headed out the door, catching her purse strap on the door knob as she went. By the time she had it off she was flustered all over again and closed the door harder than was strictly necessary.

 Joe stood in the entryway, looking after her with a very disturbed look on his face. He zeroed in on Barry. “What was that about?”

 Barry’s eyebrows lifted, his face perfectly blank. “What was what about?”

 Joe’s eyes narrowed as he stared at Barry before he relaxed slightly, realizing that Barry wasn’t faking anything. He looked at the closed front door again. “Nothing, I guess.” He looked at Barry again and decided he’d better keep an eye on things a bit closer now that Barry was back. He headed into the kitchen for breakfast. Barry showered quickly and joined him, then decided to put on his suit and head out into the city as Joe left for work. He had two more days and a weekend, and then he’d start up his job again. He was actually looking forward to it, finding things to do with his spare time was becoming more challenging than he’d originally thought.

 

* * *

 

It was wild to see how different the Central City of his home world was compared to the Central City he had just left. There were the obvious differences, of course. Barry took note of every building damaged or destroyed by the singularity, every current renovation as a result of it. He spent some time cleaning up after the most recent incident, collecting trash and random pieces of wreckage.

 Barry was already at S.T.A.R. Labs by the time Cisco arrived that morning. Cisco was surprised to see Barry working at a console in the side room off the main cortex, tinkering with a small metal device and tools. Cisco’s eyebrows furrowed as he watched.

 “What. Are you doing?”

 Barry quickly put down his tools and removed his magnifying glasses. “Nothing much, just—checking into something.” Barry’s hands were suddenly blurred as he speedily wrapped up whatever it was he was working on into a lint-free cloth and hid it in his jacket.

 “Oh. Kay.” Cisco hesitated, wondering if he should demand to see whatever it was. But Barry was looking his way, friendly smile in place, and he didn’t look upset or even particularly secretive. He looked more like he was trying to avoid being laughed at. That was one thing Cisco could understand.

 So he let it go, shrugging. “Okay then. Hey! Wanna see the flame-proof earpiece I built for Firestorm?”

 “Yeah!” Barry looked enthused, which was gratifying. Cisco led the way to his workshop. Martin peeked in later, asking about a possible way to test Cisco’s abilities. Cisco excused himself, only to be waylaid by Caitlin who wanted to run some tests and see how Cisco’s body was functioning now. Barry hid a smile. He wasn’t the only one being poked and prodded anymore.

 He zipped up to the roof and helped Ronnie do some repair work for a while. On his way back to the main cortex he came to a sudden stop as something familiar touched his memory. He glanced up and down the corridor, feeling irresistibly like Eobard, then cautiously ran his hand lightly up and down the wall to his left.

 Just like last time, the wall lit up under his hand and a doorway opened up leading to Eobard’s time vault. He slipped inside, passing through the barrier that hid the room from the rest of the world and waiting in the darkness as the doorway closed and the lights flicked on.

 He hadn’t been back in this room since before he time traveled. The case that once held Eobard’s yellow suit stood empty now, but Barry could still picture it there. He stood still for a moment, wondering how many times Eobard had entered this same room as he plotted a way to get home. As he used, manipulated and spied on everyone around him. He realized his entire body was tense and made a conscious effort to relax it.

 He looked toward the front of the vault where he had seen the future newspaper article and feeds from all of Eobard’s spyware tech. Cisco had disabled the ones he had found and repurposed them, but Barry wondered how many had never been located.

 He shook off the memories and addressed the empty room. “Um, Gideon?” He wasn’t truly sure he would get an answer, and for a moment he didn’t think he would.

 Until the familiar holographic face of Gideon rose out of a wall of light that was suddenly in front of him. She had the barest trace of a smile on her translucent face.

 “Good afternoon, Barry Allen. Welcome back.”

 He couldn’t repress the relieved smile that emerged at the sound of her multi-timbered voice. (Her? She sounded like a woman.) “Hi, I wasn’t sure if you’d still be here.”

 “When you closed the singularity this timeline was stabilized and exists despite the paradox that should have erased it. I remain here, the last time I existed in before Harrison Wells was erased from existence.”

 Barry wanted to correct her use of name, but it didn’t seem worth the argument. He searched for any trace of sadness in her tone at the mention of Eobard and found none. Well, she had told him that he’d created her in the future. And she accepted any order from Barry Allen, her creator. She certainly didn’t seem heartbroken to realize Eobard no longer had access to her. He took that as a good thing. He moved on, thoughts and questions coming forward in his mind.

 “Is that why everything is the same even though he was erased? My mother is still dead, everything he did remains.”

 “Events in this timeline remain the same, correct.”

 Barry nodded. It made sense in a really twisted kind of way. His next question just slipped out. “Can you still tell the future?”

 “I can access the headlines of future dates.”

 “So do you know what my personal future in this timeline is?”

 “I do not. My only point of reference for the future is the newspaper archive I have access to. I can only show headlines and articles from the year 2000 to April 25, 2024.”

 “Right.” Barry nodded. Gideon wasn’t omniscient. When he had built her in some nebulous future he had been able to give her access to newspaper article archives. Eobard had used that to constantly check back on his progress to make sure the future he eventually hoped to return to was the correct one. If the Flash’s disappearance after their fight was the headline, Eobard knew events would progress to that point. But if the newspaper in the future said nothing about the Flash or his family, Gideon couldn’t know it. He hesitated on his next request, wondering if he really wanted to go down this particular path. But he felt like he knew the answer, and he just wanted it confirmed now.

 “Could you…show me the headline for April 25, 2024?” He held his breath.

 Gideon’s eyelids blinked at him slowly. “Are you sure, Barry Allen?” She had picked up on his uncertainty.

 “Y-yes…” Barry waited. The familiar front page blinked up in front of him, but the headline was different. And so was the name.

 

**_Return To Sender:_ **

**_U.S. Post Office Shuts_ **

**_Down Permanently_ **

**By Anthony Johnstone**

He had expected it, but it still hurt. He no longer went missing, and he wasn’t married to Iris either. There was suddenly a lump in his throat, and crushing weight on his chest. Still, he managed a quiet “Thank you, Gideon.”

 “Is there anything else I can show you, Barry Allen?” She had reverted to her full form now, a feminine figure standing in front of him. He found himself looking down at her somewhat and realized that she was shorter than he was.

 “No—” He turned away, only to immediately turn back. “Wait, yes. Are there any more tech devices we haven’t discovered that Eobard used to spy on us?”

 Gideon blinked at him again, shifting her stance on nonexistent limbs. “I don’t understand the question.”

 “Wells spied on everyone here. He spied on Iris and Eddie. He spied on Joe. Are there more bugs around that we don’t know about?”

 “The small devices used to observe you and your friends have been located and disabled by Cisco Ramon. Disabling the others would not be recommended.”

 “What? What others? Why shouldn’t they be disabled?” Barry realized his voice was rising and tried to lower it. Shouting at a woman, even one that was an A.I., seemed like bad manners.

 Gideon really did smile this time. “Because, Barry Allen, other systems used to observe were S.T.A.R. Labs satellites and the security cameras inside this building.”

 Barry ran his hands through his hair. “Oh. I guess that makes sense.” He stepped closer. “Is there anything that should be deleted? I’m not going to spy on people, it’s not right.”

 Gideon disappeared, replaced by multiple screens against the back wall that showed different camera views around the building. Her disembodied voice emerged from the walls. “Which should I show first, Barry Allen?”

 “Umm, the hallway outside the main cortex I guess,” Barry pointed to a random screen he recognized. The screen enlarged and became the primary image, old footage replacing the current view.

 “Playing footage from the wormhole forward.” Gideon’s voice faded away as the footage played at an increased speed. Barry watched as Martin, Eddie and Iris walked down the hall to the main cortex, followed by Ronnie and Caitlin and then Cisco and Joe. He realized they had just said goodbye, and he must be walking into the accelerator to begin the process of opening the wormhole. It didn’t take long before Joe and Cisco emerged again, heading down to escort Eobard to his time machine and the wormhole. Shortly after Ronnie and Caitlin ran back out and down the hallway, running full pelt. They were trying to shut down the wormhole before it went unstable. Then Eddie was in the hallway, walking with determined strides.

 “Wait. Replay that, please.”

 “Of course.” Gideon rewound the footage and played it at regular speed. Ronnie and Caitlin ran out. Eddie walked out of the cortex and began his final walk to the accelerator. Barry felt his throat tighten. His eyes narrowed and he took another step closer. “His lips are moving. What’s he saying? Gideon, do you have audio?”

 “Of course, Barry Allen.” Gideon rewound the footage and zoomed in. Sound emerged softly from speakers he couldn’t see as he watched Eddie walk out again, already drawing his gun. Already prepared for the worst.

 “Don’t waste energy throwing the most punches. All it takes is one. Make it count, Thawne.”

 “Stop.” Barry’s voice was low, but Gideon heard it. The screen disappeared, and Barry was glad. He didn’t need to see any more. He didn’t need to see Iris run out a minute later, rushing to the accelerator so she could hold Eddie in her arms as he died.

 He stood for a moment, the memory of Eddie teaching him to fight filtering back. And Eddie repeating wisdom given to him years ago by a gym coach who took pity on him.

  _“A lotta guys waste energy trying to land the most punches…The key to fighting is patience…All it takes is one, but you’ve gotta make it count…Choose your spot, and drive through it…Like it’s six inches behind the target…”_

Eddie had made it count, all right. The shock waves were still being felt. But he shouldn’t have had to.

 “Is there anything else you’d like to see, Barry Allen?” Maybe he was just imagining it, but Barry thought he caught a slight amount of compassion in her computer-generated voice.

 “No. Thank you, Gideon. I’ve seen enough for now.”

 

* * *

 

 An hour later, Iris entered S.T.A.R. Labs after work looking for Barry. Cisco glanced up from his current project. “Hey Iris.”

 “Hey Cisco, is Barry here?”

 Cisco carefully placed his glasses back on the small table in front of him before he looked up. “He’s been out for a run for a while now. Let me check his location.” He moved to a monitor. “That’s weird. He’s not moving.” Cisco tossed a glance at the neighboring monitor, where Barry’s suit readout was displayed. “His vital signs are fine. Want me to get him on the comm?”

 He was already moving toward the microphone, but Iris had moved to the location monitor and her voice stopped him. “No, I’ll take care of it. Be back in a bit.” She gave Cisco a comforting smile and headed out to her car.

 Still slightly concerned, Cisco looked back at Barry’s location. “Oh.”

 He realized why Iris had chosen to handle the matter in person, and he was kind of glad that whatever happened wasn’t going to go down here.

 

* * *

 

 The sun was still up and anyone nearby might have been surprised to see the Flash standing around, obviously deep in thought. It was probably a good thing no one was around except Iris. She parked her car a good distance away and walked over, but she could tell he knew she was there. She halted a moment, taking in Barry’s red-clad form and the city in the distance. She could still see the skyscraper being rebuilt downtown. She hadn’t been back here in five months.

 His eyes didn’t move from Eddie’s gravestone as she approached, and he didn’t turn around.

 “Barry?” It was more to start some kind of verbal exchange than anything else. She watched his shoulders rise and fall with a deep breath before he spoke.

 “How was it? The funeral? Was it nice?”

 “It was a funeral, Barry.” She realized how sharp her words had come out and tempered them slightly. “Eddie received a hero’s burial. That’s about as nice as it gets.”

 Barry accepted that with a slight nod, but he still didn’t turn around. “Good. He deserved it. And more.”

 Iris shrugged as she moved up next to him. She hadn’t thought about the funeral in a while, and she didn’t welcome the memories returning. “I don’t remember that much. I left before they lowered the coffin. It was empty anyway.”

 That did get his attention. His head swiveled to look at her profile, his eyes concerned and probing. “Where did you go?”

 She met his eyes for a brief second before hers flitted away. “S.T.A.R. Labs. Where it all happened.”

 “I’m so sorry.” His reply was instant and unbidden. She nodded her acceptance but didn’t really know what else to say.

 Barry stared at Eddie’s name. It took a few minutes of silence before he opened his mouth to speak, and another few seconds before he actually did.

 “When I—left, to go save my mom…I knew you and Eddie were back together. I spent all that time since I woke up from the coma wishing you weren’t with him, that you’d be with me. I wanted you to be happy, but I wanted you to be happy _with me_.” He was staring at the gravestone, unwilling to look up at her as he bared his soul. “I was being selfish. Even saving my mom, I was only thinking about myself. And when I didn’t save her, I knew that when I came back you’d still be with Eddie. And I decided that was okay. I decided I could handle that, because one way or another you would always be a part of my life, and I could deal with that. Just another consequence of Eobard messing with time. I knew that Eddie would take good care of you, and that you’d be happy.”

 Iris stared at the gravestone too, afraid to look at him. She could feel the ache in her throat and the burning in her eyes and it was taking everything she had not to start crying. She clenched her jaw and tried to breathe, but she wasn’t ready to speak yet.

 But Barry wasn’t ready to stop speaking. “And I’m so sorry Iris, because I never thought that Eddie might die when I came back. It was never supposed to be that way. I never thought he would have to be the one to defeat Eobard. I’m so sorry. I failed, and you lost the man you loved.”

 Her throat was still too tight to speak. There were too many questions and thoughts and confessions all clamoring for a voice inside her head, and she felt too raw to deal with this right now. Her world felt like it was crumbling all over again. Finally she managed to half-whisper a sentence. “Eddie made his own choices. We all did.”

 He accepted her murmur with a nod, recognizing that she didn’t blame him. That she knew he’d change it if he could. But it didn’t lesson his regret. Or his guilt. “I’m still sorry.”

 “So am I.” She reached for his hand, suddenly feeling as if he were drifting away from her. A gaping chasm of distance that terrified her. Like he was in another world all over again. “So am I, Barry.”

 In the end it was his tears that undid hers. Her gasping sob alerted him, and he wrapped her in his arms, holding her tightly as they both cried.

 She never imagined that he could hold her so tight and still feel so far away from her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, seriously, there may be some emotional overtones similar to last night's ep so I am going to put my usual disclaimer in here. I plotted this ages ago, I didn't rip it off from the show. We coincide very often and it befuddles me. I knew I should have pushed through and posted this yesterday before the ep but I ran out of time, lol. Oh well. 
> 
> But YES! I called that Iris' favorite ice cream is mint chocolate chip!!! *fist pump* 
> 
> Also, some angst is required, but I promise some fun in upcoming chapters. I've put more comedy and fun into this fic than any of my others and I am quite enjoying it. I have some fun planned! :D Stay tuned!


	19. Two to Ignition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barry does a favor for Iris...with unexpected results.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ack! Finally updating! Thanks for being patient. Your awesome comments, kudos and support have been noticed and very very appreciated! They keep me going!

"What do you want, Barry?" Iris picked at her taco, flicking lettuce onto the wrapper.

Barry looked up from his own bag of tacos. "What do you mean?"

They were sitting in her car. Neither had felt like being in a public place, and Barry was supposed to be lying low anyway. After he'd zipped back to S.T.A.R. Labs to change they had hit the drive-through and found a quiet place to park in an empty lot. Barry was almost finished with his dinner, but Iris didn't feel like eating any more. She folded the wrapper around her taco and set it aside. She wrapped her jacket around herself tighter, crossing her arms.

"What do you want from life? What do you want from…me?"

Barry stared at her a moment, crinkle between his brows, taco forgotten in his hand. His mind flashed back to the other world. Iris happy and smiling, accepting strange occurrences without a blink, secure with her place in life and herself. (Mostly.) The look on her face when he'd helped her feel better about being a mother. He thought back to all their years growing up, when she had tackled life with twinkling eyes and contagious smile. Back when things had been simpler and easier even if they weren't ideal.

He wasn't quite naïve enough to think they could ever get back to that point, not after everything that had happened. So he didn't spend time wishing for that. But he knew what he wanted for Iris.

"I just want you to be happy again."

He realized how true it was with every word that came out. He'd said that to her before, but even then he had secretly held out the hope that she would decide she was happiest with him. Now that didn't matter. Whatever truly restored her zest for life, what lit up her eyes again was what mattered now. He was far more concerned with her happiness than his. He just wanted to see her happy, content and fulfilled, however that happened. He smiled gently at her, hoping she could see how much he meant it.

It was the look in his eyes that convinced her, though. The complete open and honest look that said he was holding nothing back. It broke her heart a little, but she refused to dwell on that. Instead she smiled too. "Having you back makes me far happier than I was before, Barry."

His eyes warmed and his smile widened. "I'm glad."

She had tears in her eyes but wouldn't let them fall, and that half-laugh, half-sob sound emerged that just broke him every time. He shoved his bag of tacos onto the floor so he could lean towards her, and she did the same. They hugged briefly due to the confined space of her car, but when they drew back both felt much better.

Iris started the car. Barry nabbed his taco sack and quickly finished off the last five while she drove. They arrived at Joe's house and found that he was off early for once, so they all settled down to watch a movie together.

Barry couldn't resist suggesting The Wizard of Oz.

The rest of the evening was passed in happy reminiscing, even though Joe flatly refused to impersonate the Wicked Witch of the West again. Barry gave it a try, which only resulted in Joe and Iris laughing hysterically for several minutes.

Joe had seen this movie so many times over the years that he basically tuned it out as he watched Barry and Iris enjoy themselves instead. Barry was humming along with the songs and Iris was giggling every time the Cowardly Lion spoke. They laughed over the flying monkeys and the witch's defeat, Barry commenting if only it were that easy against metahumans.

It was late when the final scenes played. Joe was slouched down in his chair finishing off his second beer of the night. Iris was almost asleep but not quite. Barry was remembering Dinah's instructions in the other world with a fond smile when the wizard addressed the Tin Man.

"And you, my galvanized friend. You want a heart, you don't know how lucky you are not to have one. Hearts will never be practical until they can be made unbreakable."

The Tin Man's face flashed on the screen. "But I still want one."

The words hit close to home. Just like they had every time he had watched this movie with Iris as kids. Even then, as his heart ached with anguish and mourning over his parents, Barry had found himself grateful that he was still able to feel. Because if he couldn't, he wouldn't know what it felt like to care about Iris like he did. To feel that warm feeling well up through his chest when she smiled at him, like everything was going to be okay no matter the circumstance. Only later had he realized the word he'd been looking for as a child had been love.

Barry glanced down at Iris struggling to stay awake, and then realized Joe was looking his way. He smiled slightly as he watched a hollow man receive a red heart and exclaim on its ticking. Hearts could break, but they were still worth having.

Good answer, Tin Man. Good answer.

* * *

The following days went quickly. Friday evening Iris texted Barry from work, asking for a quick favor. He readily agreed. So after some discussion and scheduling, once she left work Iris found herself once more knocking on Jacob's apartment door.

Jacob's mother answered. "Iris! How are you! We've been reading every one of your articles, Jacob has a collection."

Iris felt herself blushing slightly. "That's wonderful!" She hesitated for one brief second. "I was wondering if I might borrow Jacob for a moment to go up to the roof? I had something I wanted to show him."

Even though it was Iris asking, Jacob's mother hesitated. The close call with her son had made her far more protective than before. Iris understood immediately. "You're welcome to come along too if you like." Iris made sure to appear nonthreatening and friendly.

It helped. Jacob's mother nodded. "Okay then. Do you mind if my husband is included?"

Iris didn't blink. "Not at all."

After Jacob had rushed to squeeze Iris tightly and his father had also given her a friendly hello they all climbed the stairs to the roof. Iris was careful to block the door open so they didn't get locked out.

Once there, Iris took a moment to let their eyes adjust to the dark night and then led Jacob to the edge of the roof. She pointed out into the city, directing his attention to the streets below. His parents followed suit. "Just keep watching." They all waited.

They didn't have to wait very long. Soon a streak of red and gold raced into their vision, moving back and forth along the grid below. They had a perfect view, and the streak was moving at just the right pace for optimum watching and gaping.

"Wow…" Jacob breathed. His parents made similar impressed murmurs.

Suddenly the streak shifted direction and came their way. Jacob barely had time to gasp before a gust of wind blew over all of them. They all turned to see the Flash standing on the rooftop behind them, grinning.

"Good evening, folks." He nodded toward Iris. "Ms. West, nice to meet you in person."

Iris put on a surprised face. She and Barry had already discussed the need to pretend that she and the Flash weren't personally acquainted in any way. "Um, hello Flash nice to meet you…"

"I noticed you up here on my patrol and thought I'd stop by to say hello."

Jacob was simply staring at his idol, mouth wide open and slack. His parents looked much the same. Barry swallowed a laugh and approached. "I've been catching up on news while I was away, and I found Ms. West's story about a boy and a metahuman with laser eyes. Is this Jacob?"

He crouched down to get to Jacob's level, who mouthed wordlessly before finally managing a trembling reply. "Y—yes."

Barry smiled. "You were very brave, Jacob. Thank you for looking after the city while I was gone. You were quite a hero."

Jacob's small face flushed with pleasure. But he couldn't leave Iris out. "Iris was a hero too."

Barry nodded solemnly. "You're right. She was. I'm glad you two were here to look after each other. Thanks Jacob." He stuck out his hand, and the boy shook it with trembling fingers.

Barry stood up. "Well, gotta run. Better go see if anyone else needs help. Thanks again, Jacob!"

He smiled one last time and sped away, down the side of the building and down the street. Iris held in a grin as she watched him go, then turned to Jacob.

"Wow, I was just going to show you the Flash running through the city, I didn't think he would see us! How awesome is that!"

"That was the best!" Jacob squealed. He gave Iris another hug. "Thanks Iris!"

Iris laughed. "Anything for you, Jacob." She gave him an extra squeeze.

Jacob let go and practically ran to the door. "I can't wait to tell my friends!"

He rushed down the stairs. Iris and his parents slowly followed. Jacob's mother put a hand on her shoulder. "Thank you Iris. Jacob wants to be a reporter now, thought you'd like that. Or a superhero. He goes back and forth."

Iris laughed. "He'd do great at either one."

* * *

After leaving a very happy Jacob, Iris was halfway across the street when everything suddenly sped up. Once it slowed down again she found herself a few blocks away on a quiet side street. Barry was grinning in front of her.

"So, how did I do?"

Iris tilted her head, giving him her classic look while smiling too. "'Gotta run?' Don't you think you were overselling it just a little bit?"

Barry's grin didn't change one whit. "I thought Jacob would enjoy it. Gotta think of your audience, Iris." He put his hands on his hips, striking that cocky pose he only ever adopted while wearing the suit. Iris shook her head at him.

"Well thank you, you made Jacob's year I think. It meant a lot."

He ducked his head, looking somewhat bashful. "Happy to help." He was about to offer her a ride back to her car when the screeching sound of tires caught their attention.

An old pickup truck had taken the corner far too fast, careening wildly. It almost looked like the driver had made little to no attempt to correct. Time slowed down around Barry as he scrutinized the driver, half-slouched over the wheel and looking far too distressed to be driving. The weight of the driver on the wheel shifted it to the left, fractionally guiding the truck in the direction it really needed to go, but its speed was still far too fast. Close to riding on two wheels, the vehicle hit the curb and started to flip.

That was all the time Barry needed to speed toward the truck, leaving Iris on the sidewalk twenty feet away. He knew he couldn't do anything about the truck itself, it was already flipping up and halfway to the power pole it would eventually hit. Barry didn't have super strength, it was true. But the driver was inside, and that was something he could work with.

In the time it took the truck to complete its flip onto its roof and over again, Barry had yanked the driver's side door open, unfastened the seatbelt, and pulled the man from his seat. By the time the truck had finished its flip, landing on the driver's side door, undercarriage smashing into the power pole with enough force to break the pole in half, Barry was back on the sidewalk next to Iris laying the unresponsive man on the ground.

"Is he okay?" Iris leaned over both of them. Barry was taking the man's pulse and assessing his breathing.

"I don't know. Heart attack maybe? I need to get him to a hospital…" Barry's words faded as he picked up the man and raced away.

Iris called 911 to report the accident and then waited patiently, adjusting her purse strap and looking toward the wrecked truck as she bided her time. Barry must be giving the ER nurses everything he knew about the man's condition. She took several steps closer to the accident to assess the damage. The truck was pretty ruined, bent and battered in all the wrong places. The roof was caved in, the frame mangled. The top section of the power pole was laying over the top of it, stray broken power lines sparking randomly. It would have been a nightmare to extract the driver from it, and he would have been severely injured in addition to whatever health issue had caused the accident in the first place. The driver was really lucky Barry had been nearby.

The dimness of the nearby streetlights were just enough to illuminate the truck's wreckage, and as she stared at it, then squinted, she realized she was watching a dark shadow spread out from under the truck, fanning out wider and wider as it ran into the street.

"Gas…" she murmured to herself, just as she realized the approaching glow was Barry rushing back to her, and that the sparks from the downed power lines were starting to fall perilously close to what looked like a lake of gasoline.

All it could take was a hefty breeze to blow a few sparks the wrong way and ignite it.

And that breeze was headed straight for her.

"Wait! Barry there's gas—" She didn't even have time to get a full sentence out before he was racing through the lake of gas in the street and coming to a stop in front of her. The gust of wind that accompanied him whipped the trailing power lines violently, sending sparks sailing through the air.

It was the look on her face as she watched one make its inevitable descent toward the lake of gasoline that clued Barry into the fact that something was very wrong. He whipped around just in time to see the spark ignite it. Flames lit instantly and spread out in two directions: Toward the mangled truck and following the small path of gas Barry had accidentally trailed behind him when he passed through it.

"Whoa, Iris we have to—" Barry was already in motion as he spoke. He picked her up into his arms. "—run!"

Iris' initial sarcastic remark was swallowed up in very real fear as she looked over Barry's shoulder and watched flames spread after them, even as Barry started to run. The fire was greedily speeding along its chosen path, chasing the two of them so closely that the flames simply looked like an extension of Barry's lightning trail. She could feel the heat on her arms, wrapped around his neck, and knew that he must be feeling it too. He increased his speed, the gasoline trail he was leaving slowly disappearing, but the millisecond of relief Iris felt was short-lived because by that time the fire had reached the truck and it exploded.

The sound was ear-shattering, the heat waves rolling off blistering. Billowing clouds of flames rolled out in every direction.

The push of the blast just gave Barry a bit of a jump start as he sped up, racing to outrun the heat and flames blowing down the street towards them. Tiny pieces of projectile and truck bounced off Barry's back. Iris ducked her head into the curve between his neck and shoulder, very aware that the clothes she was wearing would do little to keep her safe from shrapnel or flame. Barry had a distinct advantage with his suit.

It was clear that Barry was aware of that fact as well, because his arms dropped her several inches to shield her behind his body better as he ran. But it did hamper his pace to do it. There were several heart-stopping seconds of terror where Iris wondered if she was slowing him down too much to escape, but then the distance between Barry and the flames began to rapidly increase as Barry added more speed and the explosion began to diminish.

Barry continued down the block, made an abrupt left turn, zipped up to a roof and came to a sudden stop. He looked over every part of Iris he could see without actually putting her down. His worried eyes peered down at her from behind his mask. "Are you okay?"

Iris became aware that she hadn't been breathing since the gas ignited and made up for it by taking in deep shuddering inhales. "Yeah. I think."

Only then did he let her slowly slide to her feet, keeping her steady before he let go. "I didn't see that gas at all, I was too busy—" his voice abruptly went silent.

"Too busy what?" Iris realized she was still, _still_ clutching her purse and let it slide to the roof through nerveless fingers. They could have died.

With the light behind him his face was a mix of the Flash and Barry, mouth curving in a smile with a sheepish look in his eyes as he finished his sentence.

"Running back to you."

He peeked at her from under his lashes a moment, embarrassed at his carelessness. He moved away to look out over the city, looking for any fires that may have been caused by the explosion.

She realized her heart was pounding, even her heavy breathing was doing nothing to stop her feeling breathless. Something huge had shifted, slid into place but she wasn't sure what yet. The last few minutes stretched into hours as she reflected on them. They could have been killed or seriously injured. They could have been enveloped in flames, burning together into a pile of ash… She ran her hands down her sleeves, checking for burns. There were a few small holes singed into the fabric but nothing major.

Barry had moved behind her to check for fires and, finding none, turned back to Iris. Her back was to him as he moved up behind her, stopping close enough to see her in the darkness and assess for injuries. "You're sure you're not hurt?"

Iris turned her head, just barely glimpsing him over her shoulder. She was irresistibly reminded of the first night the Flash had met her on a rooftop. This rooftop. Had he just come here out of instinct or another reason? The feeling she hadn't been able to put her finger on the other morning after she and Barry had slept on the couch was suddenly back full force. She could feel the heat in her cheeks, the waves of emotion that surely must be rippling off of her. Couldn't he feel it? How could he possibly miss it when it was so strong? It was like electricity arcing between them.

She realized he was still waiting for an answer, so she turned around. "I'm fine."

She knew who was behind the mask this time. Barry Allen. She could look up at him and he didn't vibrate his face any more to disguise it. She could see her best friend behind it, all the mystery gone and yet the thrill remained. She wondered if the thrill had always been there because it was Barry.

Barry smiled in relief, happy she was unhurt. "Good. I should get you back to your car and check in at S.T.A.R. Labs. I told Cisco I was turning off my comm for a while to do you a favor."

She stared at him. How could he be so casual? How could he be standing in front of her, as if there weren't fireworks going off between them right now?

And then it hit her. How he could stand there unaware and unbothered by the fireworks.

Because to him, there were no fireworks.

There was no trace of the look she'd finally identified after so many years. The longing, the yearning, the unsaid emotions and hesitation. The look she'd always just associated with Barry, even before he'd confessed his feelings. All those years he'd been wearing his heart on his sleeve, and she had never seen it for what it was.

She remembered yelling at her father that night at work, when she'd been angry at him for all the lies. For not telling her how Barry felt about her years ago. She remembered how angry she'd been that Barry would wait their whole lives, until after he woke from a coma and she finally had a boyfriend, to tell her his feelings for her. How could he say nothing all that time? She remembered how angry she'd been that she couldn't stop thinking about him after that. And she realized, just now, that she hadn't stopped because she hadn't wanted to.

If Barry had told her how he'd felt years ago, she would have done things so differently.

And that was why she had never felt that she loved Eddie enough. Because she loved Barry more and always had. She had been too weak to admit it before. Too weak to break Eddie's heart because he loved her too.

Barry's face was starting to get concerned as he waited. "Hey. Sure you're okay?"

"Yeah. It's just that you seem…different since you came back. You've changed somehow. I can't put my finger on it." Oh, she could. She definitely could.

Barry thought a moment. It was true. He didn't feel nearly as young as he'd felt before he ended up in the other universe. It was like he'd grown up and accepted reality a bit. Maybe he was becoming more like Barry Allen in the other world. He could handle that.

So he shrugged. "A lot has changed, Iris." He smiled at her, glad to see her unhurt and okay. He held his hands open, ready to whisk her back to her car.

Iris bent to pick up her purse again, feeling empty.

He didn't say her name the same. Not since that first hug in the hallway at S.T.A.R. Labs, right after he'd returned. Then it had been a caress. A prayer. Unfulfilled need and reverent admiration all in a breathy tone.

Now it held nothing but surrender. She could see it on his face as he bent to pick her up again, he hadn't withdrawn his friendship or the love they had always shared. But the yearning to be with her was no longer there.

Never, not when Eddie died or Barry disappeared, had she imagined that the black hole could swallow up this part of her life. And she never could have imagined how much she would miss it.

He lifted her gently into his arms and began to run. Even as close as they were all she could think on the way back to her car was that she had, yet again, lost him.

So it was true. She was forever destined to lose him one way or another. She was too weak to stop it, the overwhelming pull of fate or destiny was too strong.

She bid Barry good night and got into her car. She watched as he waved and sped away, watching the golden lightning move farther and farther away from her.

She realized, as tears finally spilled over, that her fingers were searching fruitlessly for her metal piece. It had been her substitute for her best friend while he was gone. Instead of crying onto his shoulder she had gripped it tight. But now she had neither.

She sat in the darkness ignoring the chill in the air, wishing she could tell Barry about her problem. He'd know what to do. He'd listen.

And then she realized that this must be what Barry had felt like, all those years. She hated it.

It broke her heart even more.

* * *

Special thanks and credit for the idea of Barry now saying Iris' name differently goes to ishipit87 on tumblr and her [excellent drabble](http://ishipit87.tumblr.com/post/132478279786/storyadvocate-ishipit87-tagged-by-these-two) that inflicted great feels on me earlier this week. Go read it! It's awesome! :)

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there you have it...ANGST! Don't worry, there will be some comedy and some drama coming soon. 
> 
> Now I am fully aware that this fic is now veering into ship territory, and I'm sorry if anyone who has been enjoying the general nature of this fic is at all put off. But I put the ship prominently in the tags and this is always where it has been going. (If you read any of my other stuff it's pretty obvious, lol.) 
> 
> But rest assured there is more plot coming! These last two chapters are very needed to set up the rest of the fic. I haven't forgotten about Cisco and the others. They're coming, along with some ship stuff I am really looking forward to. Keep reading and as always thanks for doing it! :)


	20. 10 on the Richter Scale

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some earth shaking developments!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been a while since an update! Thanks for reading and commenting it keeps me going! :)

Barry zipped into the main cortex, whooshed into the small room that held his suit and emerged dressed in street clothes. His suit was on its dummy ready for Cisco to fuss over and clean. It hadn't been truly properly cleaned since his return. He looked around, slightly lost.

No one was in the main cortex at all, which was pretty unusual especially when he was on a patrol. He moved to the main console, intending to bring up security camera views, but the explosive sound that rocked the building changed his mind. He zipped out immediately, heading for the large open room at the back of the building.

Sure enough, everyone was there. Firestorm was hovering in the air, waiting patiently as he looked down at Cisco, who was on the ground flat on his back. Caitlin was bending over him. As Barry watched Cisco pushed her hands away and sat up. "I'm fine, I'm fine."

"What are you guys doing?" Barry looked between the two duos, not missing the large area on the back wall that looked like something had hit it very hard. There were cracks radiating outward from the middle point, outer layers of concrete falling away even as Barry spoke.

"Hey Barry! How'd the favor for Iris go?" Cisco hurriedly got to his feet, brushing off his pants and attempting to look casual. But the glasses he was wearing gave him away.

Barry moved farther inside and approached Cisco. "Fine. Bit of trouble at the end but nothing I couldn't handle. Surprised you left the comms though."

Cisco pulled off his glasses and gave him a sheepish look. "Yeah. Well you turned yours off, didn't think you'd need us for a while, and I wanted to—try something."

Ronnie laughed, drawing everyone's attention as he continued to hover in the air. "Sorry, Martin just said if you were trying to break things you succeeded." He laughed again, leading Barry to think that Martin had said something else just then as well.

Cisco looked embarrassed and stuffed his hands into his pockets. Barry caught on. "Were you practicing your powers?"

Caitlin discreetly moved away toward Firestorm, who lowered to the ground and separated. The three quickly left through the closest exit, leaving Barry and Cisco alone. Cisco looked extremely ill at ease. Barry gave him a searching look. "Why would you wait until I was gone? Do you think I wouldn't help? I don't mind not being the only one with powers around here, you know. I don't need to feel special."

Cisco had been staring at a point far across the room, but he looked back at Barry's face on hearing that. "It's just…I'm still trying to figure all this out. And it's embarrassing to have people watching."

"You let Firestorm and Caitlin watch." Barry tried hard not to feel hurt.

"I know, but you're the Flash. You unwind tornadoes and close singularities and you can do a supersonic punch, baby! I'm not that cool. I'm not that amazing." Cisco's voice was grinding down to a mumble.

Barry just shook his head, a small huff of laughter managing to escape. "Cisco, do you remember the first time we decided to help people, back when Caitlin thought it was a bad idea? I was running to that fire in the apartment building and I—"

"Over shot it by like a mile, yeah." Cisco couldn't hold back a smile at the memory.

"Do you remember how many coats and shoes I burned through, like literally, in those first weeks? How I got my ass handed to me the first time I took on Multiplex? And how I kept passing out before you guys figured out that I wasn't eating enough?" Cisco laughed out loud this time, and Barry joined in. "Cisco, I would have spent a lot more time trying to figure out my powers and how to help people with them if you guys hadn't been around. You guys didn't laugh at me, you helped me. And that's totally what I want to do for you. I just got started on my powers sooner, that's all. Let me help. It's the least I can do for my friend." He slapped a hand on Cisco's shoulder. "Especially the one who used those same powers to save me from squashing into the cement."

Cisco's smile remained as he nodded. "Thanks, man."

"Okay!" Barry clapped his hands together and bounced on the soles of his feet. "So what are you practicing?"

Cisco hesitated minutely before he answered. "I'm trying to get a better handle on these…um…sonic blast things. I can't control them very well." He flexed his hands to demonstrate.

Barry looked back at the crumbling wall behind him, then at Cisco again. "That was you?"

Cisco glanced at it apprehensively. "Yeah. Knocked me down too. It's like it's controlling me instead of the other way around." He put his glasses back on, heaving a sigh.

Barry gave first the wall, and then Cisco a considering glance. "What if you were moving? At least at first, to help you keep on your feet? And the Barry in the other world told me I have to trust myself. I'm seeing the same thing in you. It's like you're afraid of your powers."

"I _am_ afraid of them, Barry! They're big and different and I could hurt people. And Eobard gave them to me. How do I even know this is a good thing and not a really bad one?"

Barry waited to make sure Cisco was done before he replied. "You don't know, Cisco. You decide. But to make it good, you can't be afraid of it."

Cisco heaved another sigh. "I don't know if I know how to do that, Barry."

"Cisco. When I run, I feel the lightning, the power running all through my body. It's the craziest feeling. When I first woke up with powers, it was almost like I was trying to outrun that feeling, or like it was pushing me along. But after Blackout, when I finally just stopped thinking about them and just connected to them, I felt it all the way through me. That feeling coursing through my body, every cell, every pore, that's what makes me faster. That's what makes my powers feel like a part of who I am, under my control." Barry shook Cisco's shoulder lightly. "Is there a feeling that you're aware of when you use your powers?"

"My head aches, but the glasses help with that." Cisco thought a moment. "I feel like my heart is going to vibrate right out of my chest. That's part of what scares me. I feel like I'm going to have my heart stopped again…" Cisco's voice faded away.

"Oh." Barry's face was suddenly very sympathetic. How would it feel to him if every time he used his powers it viscerally reminded him of being killed by a man he trusted? "Okay I understand. But Cisco, don't think about Eobard. Think about the feeling, and let it run all through your body. Let it become part of you."

"Feel the force." Cisco's voice sounded resigned, and a little chagrined that he'd forgotten that advice. "Okay."

Barry tapped his shoulder in affirmation. "Okay." He zipped away and returned, once more dressed in his suit. "Wanna try it?"

Cisco made sure his glasses were straight and nodded. "Yeah."

"Don't keep the feeling in your chest. Let it flow." Barry zipped back, standing twenty feet away. "Try to hit me."

Cisco cast a worried glance at the damaged wall. "Are you sure? I don't want to hurt you."

Barry's eyebrows raised, even under his mask. "I'd like to see you manage that, Cisco. Go for it."

Cisco could feel himself rising to the challenge in spite of himself. "Okay, you asked for it."

He raised his hands, breathing a little too fast. Barry waited, looking like he was far too relaxed but Cisco knew he could move in a blink. Cisco could feel his heart beginning to pound, a few beats away from that feeling that it was shattering, shuddering, vibrating inside him, in its final death throes…he pushed that thought away. No, it wasn't dying. It was pulsing, pushing out its vibrations and power through his core, through his extremities…he closed his eyes briefly, feeling it. It felt like his whole body was shaking but it wasn't. He looked at Barry, raised his hands, and fired.

Sonic waves blew out of his hands, but Barry didn't have to move very far or fast to avoid them. The force of them knocked Cisco off his feet again, and they fired into the air far above Barry's head. Barry heard them resonate off the roof, causing far less damage this time. He zipped over to Cisco to give him a hand and help him to his feet. "That was good, let's try moving this time and see if it helps you stay up."

Even under his glasses Cisco's face was showing discouragement. "I don't know Barry…"

Barry was having none of it. He put a hand on Cisco's shoulder so he could stare into his glasses. "Backwards on the treadmill, remember? I didn't always get it right the first time. I still don't, really. Let's try again."

Cisco nodded and backed up. Barry zipped backwards as well.

This time, when Cisco fired he moved a few steps forward to compensate. He wobbled slightly, but it worked. Barry easily dodged the sonic waves that came his way and grinned. "Nice! Let's do it again!"

Cisco's confidence was growing with every attempt, and before long Barry was speeding around the large space, dodging sonic waves and pillars. Cisco was continually moving, managing to stay in his feet as the force of his blasts increased. His entire body was thrumming with energy that he was channeling and focusing out of his hands. He felt great for once.

Barry's voice echoed through the air. "Why do you—whoa close one! Think you didn't get knocked down—nice! When you caught me falling?" Barry ran to the back wall and turned back to face Cisco and then ran straight toward the other man, checking his pace to make sure he wasn't going too fast.

Cisco's concentration broke as he saw Barry headed straight for him. He forgot that he was facing the fastest man alive, that Barry could easily dodge out of the way if he shot straight at him. His mind was too busy working the question he'd been asked. "I don't know. I was braced to catch you I think. I was ready to catch you with my own body if necessary." His stance widened unconsciously, his feet planting into the concrete floor as he remembered the desperate feeling of wishing he could catch his friend and save him.

Cisco looked up to see that Barry was almost on top of him. He didn't see the Flash, he saw Barry, and he could feel the power surging up his arms, almost to his hands, ready to emerge as sonic blasts that he didn't want to hurt his friend with. Feet still planted to the floor, he brought his hands down and blasted the floor beneath him, dispelling the sonic waves into the concrete.

The floor rumbled and shook. Seismic waves rolled the floor outward, breaking it up and shaking Barry off his feet as he stumbled over jagged pieces surging up. He went flying and landed with a grunt of pain several feet away.

Cisco stood in the same place, feet still firmly planted, and gaped at the destruction he had just caused. His worried gaze went to Barry, but the speedster was already pushing himself to his feet, albeit more slowly than usual. Barry brushed off pieces of concrete and dust, noting that his symbol was slightly loose now. Several bits of rubble fell out from behind it.

Barry's face split into a huge grin. "Look at that! That's amazing Cisco! You're amazing!"

Cisco tore his eyes away from the damaged floor to look at his friend again, realizing that Barry had orchestrated this hoping to produce some sort of progression. "Cheater."

Barry laughed. "No. I just believe in you, Cisco. You're going to be amazing." Barry grabbed both of Cisco's shoulders and grinned at him. "That's pretty cool, right?"

Cisco could feel the rush of his powers abating, but not the adrenaline. He felt like he had the year he'd won first prize at the state-wide science fair. For once, he felt confident about this part of his life. "Yeah. Pretty cool."

The door opened wide as Ronnie, Martin and Caitlin rushed through it. They had clearly run from the main cortex, and they too surveyed the damage with wide eyes and surprised exclamations.

Barry and Cisco started to walk toward the others, but before they'd made it more than a few steps Barry's quiet murmur caught Cisco's ears alone, as intended. "I think you're going to need a suit soon, Cisco."

Cisco halted abruptly. Barry continued walking but gave him a sly smile and raise of his eyebrows as he did.

Cisco looked at the glasses he'd removed. He'd never even thought of that. A suit. For him. If anyone had told him he'd be doing any of this a year ago he'd have laughed. But here he was, the tech science geek, thinking about what suit would best fit and work for his powers. Was he thinking about using his powers to help people like Barry did?

If he was honest with himself, he was.

He grinned to himself and rushed to catch up to his friends. His smile didn't even fade when Caitlin declared practice over for the night.

Deep in a crevice of the cracked floor, a small grey dot the size of a pinhead nested into its new space and waited patiently.

* * *

 That night, when Iris finally made it home to her apartment she walked straight to her bathroom. She pulled a small box out from under the sink, one she had only opened once before now since moving in. She placed it on the counter next to the sink and slowly opened the flaps, looking down inside it for a moment.

The box was only half-full of typical bathroom drawer items. A few brushes she'd decided she didn't like after buying, some satin caps, random bobby pins and things she never used anymore. She hadn't used any of it since the day of the funeral. It had been easier to replace the needed items than delve into this mess.

She carefully reached into the box and shifted items back and forth, searching. The one time before it had been easy. Then what she was looking for had been plainly visible, but this one was a bit harder to locate. Finally she glimpsed the gold, lost in a pile of everyday items, almost hidden completely from view. But that didn't diminish its value. It was still so precious.

She pushed aside the things that didn't matter at all and reached for what she wanted: Out came the replica of her mother's wedding ring, still on its chain. She held it up to the light and then laid it carefully into her palm, coiling the chain around and around in endless circles.

Never ending.

She stood in the bright light and gazed at it, truly thinking about it for the first time in months.

Then she gently but firmly wrapped her fingers around it and held it tight.

* * *

 The night before Barry returned to work it was deemed safe enough for him to visit his father. The Flash had come back a week prior, but Barry Allen was finally returning to Central City.

Barry could hardly contain himself as his father entered the visiting room, but Henry looked happy and peaceful. Barry could tell his dad had been aware of his return, which was to be expected since the entire city had either witnessed it or read about it.

Henry sat down in front of the glass as usual and reached for the phone. "Welcome home, son."

"Hi Dad."

"Did you find what you wanted?"

Barry tilted his head, somewhat confused. His father smiled back at him, calm and happy. Barry realized his father was probably seeing something in his son that hadn't been there before the singularity. He too could sense the change in himself. He was calmer. He was more accepting of what life had dealt him. Did that mean he had matured? Memories of Barry and Iris made him smile. He could feel that part of Barry in himself as he worked to help Cisco with his powers the other day.

He nodded to Henry. "Yeah. I think I did. But it's good to be home. Sorry it took so long."

Henry smiled. "Better late than never, Barry."

* * *

 Barry returned to work on Monday, and he had been in his lab less than five minutes before Captain Singh entered. Barry was trying to put things back to the way he usually had them, since the temp they had replaced him with had changed everything in the five months he'd been gone.

He was loaded with bottles of chemicals, replacing them in his preferred order, when Singh barked his name.

"Allen! Welcome back."

Barry jumped and clutched the bottles tighter. "Captain. Thank you." He extended his hand to shake Captain Singh's and then belatedly realized he still had a bottle in it. "Oh, uhh…" he looked for the nearest place to deposit the bottle, did so, and brought his hand back up. "Thanks Captain. Good to be back."

Captain Singh took his hand but neglected to shake it. He stared at Allen, this skinny, youthful, intelligent bumbler, and tried to picture him as the Flash. Barry stared back at him, bottles in one arm and an awkward expression on his face.

David shook his head. He just couldn't imagine it. If Joe hadn't confirmed his guess he'd doubt his own sanity. He let go of Barry's hand and surveyed the lab. "Don't spend too long setting back up, you're needed at a crime scene soon. I'm sure Joe will be up to let you know in a few minutes."

"Oh I'll have this place back the way I like it in a flash, sir." Barry was already back to depositing bottles in their proper order. Singh's head whipped around as he tried to read Barry's expression. He stared longer than manners would dictate is polite, and Barry couldn't hold in his smug grin any longer.

There it was. Captain Singh could suddenly recognize that demeanor, and he could instantly see the Flash in Barry plain as day. The transformation was incredible.

And just as suddenly, Allen was back. "Hey, Captain, Joe told me that you covered for me when I was gone, and kept my job open. I really appreciate it, thank you."

David shook his head slightly to clear it. "No problem, it's the least I could do." Singh turned to leave and threw a parting comment over his shoulder. "Try not to be late to the crime scene today, Allen."

"No promises, sir."

If Singh hadn't been the Captain he probably would've let it go, but he was still the Captain. Hero or not, Allen needed to know his place. "You'll make it, or I won't forget that you still owe me Big Belly Burger for that one time…"

Captain Singh glanced back on his way out and was gratified to see Allen staring after him, the color draining from his face as he too remembered stealing his captain's lunch right out from under his nose.

Nice to see things getting back to normal. Finally. Singh headed down the stairs.

* * *

 When Joe walked in a few minutes later, there were papers just settling onto the floor and Barry was standing with his arms crossed looking very satisfied. Obviously he had just managed to get his lab put right again. He was glad his partner had been held up downstairs on their way.

"Hey, brand new crime scene for you. Welcome back."

"Thanks." Barry grinned at him.

A blond woman turned the corner into the lab and came to a stop next to Joe. Joe hastened to introduce her. "Oh, Patty Spivot, this is Barry Allen. Barry, Patty Spivot my new partner."

Barry stuck out his hand. "Ms. Spivot, nice to meet you."

She returned the gesture. "Please, call me Patty."

"Well then call me Barry." He smiled at her, and then realized he still had her hand.

Joe rolled his eyes. "Intros done? We should go. Crime scene."

"Right." Barry went to get his forensics case.

* * *

 At the end of the day Barry was just finishing up when Iris walked in.

"Iris! Hi! You up for some dinner and a movie tonight?" Barry was putting the finishing touches on his report.

Iris stood still a moment, drinking him in. He had no idea that this was the first time she had entered the police station since the singularity. It had been hard walking in, saying hello to her dad. Hard to see Eddie's desk with another cop behind it. Harder still to see his picture next to Detective Chyre's. But remembering who she was really coming to see had kept her sane and under control. She was here to see Barry.

All the memories that had built up her over time before she had ever met Eddie helped her to focus. She fondly remembered Eddie in this lab, at his desk. But she was able to remember them and put them where they should be. In the past. Right now she was staring at Barry Allen in his lab, looking ridiculously cute in his slacks and sweater. She could feel the ring on its chain under the turtleneck she wore, concealed but warmed against her skin.

"Helloo! Iris?"

She blinked. "Sorry. Yes, I am totally up for dinner and a movie." She bit her lip. Did that sound like she was asking him on a date? Was he asking her? _Get a grip, Iris._

Barry grinned. "Great, I need to do a patrol and I should be home after that. Do you want to decide?"

Her face went blank. "Decide what? I've already decided."

"You've decided about dinner? That was quick. It's not just brownies, is it?" He gave her a teasing glance as he filed his last report and left his desk.

He'd teased her about brownies a million times in their lives, but this time she flushed. "No it's not." She moved over to him where he was reaching into his locker, pulling out his jacket and preparing to leave. "Barry, I need to tell you something."

Her tone made him pause. He had one arm in his jacket and the other still out. He looked ridiculous. And adorable. She wanted to run her fingers through his hair, touch his face. Maybe his neck too…

"Okay, what?" His tone was soft as he finished putting his jacket on and lowered his arms. He looked like he had on the rooftop after his fight with Grodd. Her pulse quickened as she tried to put what she was feeling into words.

"Barry…so much has happened between us, and I know we've had some difficult times…"

He cut in. "I think I know what you're trying to say, Iris. Things have been weird between us for a long time, and I know it hasn't been easy. And things didn't turn out how either of us expected. But you don't have to worry, because no matter what I will always be your best friend. And you'll always be mine. I'll always be here for you." He gave her a friendly, supportive, altogether gut-wrenching smile.

She opened her mouth to correct him. But looking into his face, realizing that he had moved past loving her and wanting more, suddenly she was afraid to. What if she told him now, and things went right back to being weird again? What if she ruined it for good this time? The smothering fear of losing him entirely diminished her voice, until she finally closed her mouth and gave him a trembling smile. "Just what I was going to say."

Barry smiled back happily. "I know. I know you, Iris." He touched her shoulder in a gesture of understanding and support. She couldn't say anything else. He grabbed his bag and closed the door to his locker. "I'll see you after patrol. Oh, and if you get Chinese get twice as much as usual for me, I seem to burn right through that stuff. Too many carbs."

Shoulder burning, she gave him a nod of agreement and then watched him head out of the lab. She waited a good thirty seconds before she turned and whacked her forehead on the locker with a frustrated groan. The metallic clang of the action was somewhat satisfying, but the pain in her forehead was more so. She rested her head against the cool surface until she could face the fact that she'd allowed a prime opportunity to pass.

Next time, she'd be able to tell him.

She would.


	21. Party time! (Wedgies not required)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Iris struggles with her feelings, Caitlin plans a party. Barry makes some adjustments to his suit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have a chapter! It's huuge!
> 
> Thanks for reading, commenting and leaving kudos! It's very appreciated! :)

"Barry?"

"Yeah?" He glanced her way on the couch, pulling his attention away from their chosen movie. She stared at him a moment, and drew in a deep breath.

"I—"

Joe came in the door, stomping his feet and shaking off his coat. It was pouring outside. "Hey kids, any dinner left?"

"Yeah, it's on the stove." Barry had leaned back over the couch to talk to Joe and now turned back to Iris. "What were you saying?"

She stared at him while her father headed into the kitchen, very aware of the new presence, and admitted defeat again. "I…want some chips."

Barry blinked. "What?"

"Could you pass the chips please?" She pointed to the bag resting on the end table on his other side.

"Oh, sure." He grabbed the bag and handed it over. "Not many left, sorry."

She held the bag with chips she didn't want and smiled at the man she did. "It's okay."

He returned his attention to the movie. She nibbled a few chips and settled onto the couch again with a sigh, licking her fingers to get the leftover salt and grease.

Weeks had passed since her first attempt to tell Barry how she felt in his lab. Weeks and many more failed attempts. The timing was always wrong, someone was present, Barry's Flash duties interrupted. It was always something. Sometimes she wondered if it was too soon after losing Eddie. And sometimes she just couldn't quite get the courage to do it. She felt weak again. Too weak to disturb the status quo and face what the consequences might be. Too afraid that the consequence would be a wedge driven between them that couldn't be overcome this time.

Subtle hints had gotten her nowhere. She was wearing her ring outside her shirt now. Barry had glanced at it once and she'd hoped he might clue in a bit. Nothing. But she had begun to notice him in ways she never had before. She couldn't help glancing at him appreciatively at times, when he wore his jacket with the collar up or his hair was ruffled just right. His arms were toned and muscular, even if they weren't huge, and his abs were notable even in his street clothes to someone who looked. And boy did she look. She had to stop herself from shamelessly ogling him when he wore his suit now. And he never seemed to notice. She couldn't decide if that was a good or bad thing at the moment.

She realized that she was spending an inordinate amount of time licking her fingers clean and thinking of Barry the entire time. Her eyes flickered his way, hoping against hope that he was watching her. No one could blame her for trying...

But his gaze was intently focused on the television. Really? Her hand dropped. Her sigh went unheard as Barry's cell phone began to jingle. He answered, had a brief discussion and then hung up.

"Sorry, Cisco says there's a disturbance at the docks. I should go see if I can help." He was already shrugging into his jacket. "Sorry."

Even her annoyance at his failure to catch her subtle hinting didn't stop her from giving him an understanding smile. "Go help. We'll finish this another time."

He flashed a quick smile of gratitude that made her heart melt. "Thanks." And then he was gone, out the front door in a blink.

Iris stopped the movie and settled back onto the couch with another sigh, debating on whether she should finish off the last of the chips. It didn't seem worth it with Barry gone now. Joe entered with a bowl piled high with macaroni and cheese and stopped, surprised to see just her.

"Did Barry leave?" He sat in his favorite chair and got comfortable.

Iris abandoned the bag of chips. "Yeah, a disturbance at the docks."

Joe nodded, unsurprised. His gaze assessed his daughter for several moments. He picked up his spoon and then put it down again. "Is something going on that you want to talk about?"

Iris gave him a surprised look. "What? No..."

"Really? Because you've been looking at Barry different lately—"

"I'm not—"

"Like you really want to say something to him—"

"Dad—"

"You're wearing the ring he gave you again, after months went by and I never saw it—"

"I found it again after I moved—"

"And by my count this is the sixth time you've made him your homemade macaroni and cheese in three weeks." Joe lifted his bowl slightly higher as if to prove his point and waited.

There was a small pause, before "It's his favorite." Iris could hear how weak her voice sounded.

Joe's eyes were concerned and understanding as he waited. Iris groaned in exasperation. "How is it possible that you see all this but Barry can't?"

Joe's bowl almost dropped from his hands. He quickly recovered and placed it on the coffee table. "Oh baby, don't tell me..."

She gave him an incredulous look. "Is that so hard to believe?"

"No. No it's not. I always suspected, but the timing—"

"I know! He's moved on, Dad. And after everything that happened I can't blame him, but it doesn't change how I feel." She gave him a miserable look, trying to hold back her emotions. "I want to tell him, but I'm scared it will ruin things."

Joe looked at her a moment, searching for the perfect answer. He couldn't find it. His shoulders slumped. "Look, I can't tell you everything is going to work out okay. What I can tell you is that Barry going years without telling you how he felt led to a lot of trouble in the end. I don't want to see you make that same mistake."

She stared at her hands, clenched in her lap. "I know. You're right. But I just got my best friend back and we're in a pretty good place now. I don't want to lose him again."

Joe sighed. "I get that. You just have to decide if what you could have is worth the risk."

Iris was still looking at her hands. "Yeah."

Joe picked up his bowl and spoon. "You two are killing me. If it's not one it's the other..."

Iris gave him a look through narrowed eyes. "Your life would be so boring without us, Dad."

Joe swallowed a bite and sighed. "I know." His resigned look made her giggle, which was gratifying to both.

* * *

 It was later that week that everyone was in the main cortex, discussing their latest metahuman challenge and how to tackle it. After a strategy was decided on and everyone knew their next move the group dispersed.

Barry headed out and down the hallway while Iris' gaze lingered on him, slightly wistful. She started slightly when Caitlin sat down next to her. "Hey, Caitlin, what's up?"

Caitlin smiled back. "Actually, I was going to ask you the same thing."

"What do you mean?"

Caitlin quickly glanced around to make sure they were alone before she spoke again. "It just seems to me that you're looking at Barry like he used to look at you."

Iris looked down. Both implications were disturbing. Her change in feelings was starting to be noticed, and the idea that Barry had looked at her this same way while she was blithely unaware or with Eddie was upsetting. "Yeah, but he doesn't look at me like that anymore, does he?"

Caitlin hesitated. She didn't like hurting people. "Not since he came back, no" she rushed to add "but that doesn't mean it's not there."

Iris nodded. She knew it, but a part of her had still hoped. She stared at Caitlin's face, noting the compassion and sympathy. Great. Now she was a sympathy case.

Caitlin hesitated, then pushed forward. "Did I ever tell you that Ronnie first told me he loved me at a Christmas party?"

"No."

"He did. He said the lighting and the music made him brave." Caitlin noted the bemused look Iris was giving her. "Maybe we could set up some kind of party. You never know what might happen."

"It's not Christmas, Caitlin."

"That's true, but we do have cause to celebrate. Barry is back! What if we set up a nice dinner party, maybe with some dancing?"

Iris thought about it for about three seconds before she started to see flaws. "Who are we going to invite? Not too many people know Barry is the Flash."

Caitlin's eyes were suddenly brimming with excitement. "The Arrow and his crew know. I'm sure they'd come down for a small party. That gives us a big enough group to give you some cover, but small enough that it doesn't interfere. Barry and Felicity decided not to date long ago so you shouldn't have any competition for him."

Iris stared at her. "When was that?"

"Shortly after her first visit after he woke up. Don't worry, from what Laurel tells me she and Oliver have finally decided they are together. You're good."

Iris opened her mouth, but couldn't decide what to say. She liked Felicity, but she was relieved to hear that. Finally she settled on "I don't know, it seems like a lot of bother, and maybe I should just tell him myself in private."

The knowing tone in Caitlin's voice was unmistakable. "You've been looking at him different for at least three weeks. What's stopping you?" The look on Iris' face said it all. "You need the courage a party can give you. You'll be in a killer dress, dancing to nice music, beautiful lights...you just leave everything to me."

Caitlin looked far too excited for this, and Iris had just opened her mouth to tell her not to bother when Cisco walked in. "Leave what to you?"

Caitlin almost bounced out of her chair. "We're having a welcome home party for Barry with dinner and dancing, and we're inviting Team Arrow."

"Does that mean Laurel might be coming?" Cisco's face lit up.

"Well she is part of Team Arrow, isn't she?"

Cisco beamed. "That's great! I can't wait! Do you need help? Maybe I should rent a tux..."

Caitlin was beaming now. She turned back to Iris. "See? Someone else might get a chance to tell someone how they feel! This is perfect!"

"Someone else—?" Cisco's mouth dropped into a perfect "o" shape. He snapped his fingers and pointed at Iris. "I knew it! You're looking at him different!"

Iris buried her head in her arms with a groan. "Keep your voice down!"

Cisco closed his mouth tightly, embarrassed. "Sorry," his voice was practically a stage whisper now, "but you have no idea how long I've been watching this drama go on. It's worse than Ronnie and Caitlin!"

"Excuse me?" Caitlin's eyebrows rose. Cisco hastened to reply.

"Well with you two we knew you liked each other, you were engaged! We just kept thinking he was dead."

Caitlin couldn't deny it. Iris lifted her head to make sure no one else was entering the cortex before she spoke quietly. "But you guys have been aware that Barry had feelings for me for how long?"

Cisco looked at Caitlin. "Like, forever? It's not like he hid it all that well." Iris grimaced as he continued. "But I didn't know if you had feelings for him the same way until now."

"Do you think he still has them?" Iris couldn't suppress the hope in her voice. If anyone would know it would be these two.

Caitlin looked at Cisco and shrugged. Cisco looked at Iris and opened his mouth. Then he closed it and came to sit next to her. "I don't know. He's different since he came back. I don't know how to explain it. He's...older?"

Iris nodded. "Yeah. I noticed it too."

Caitlin looked at them both. "We're having this party, and you two are going to tell them. It's not normal holding it in like this. You need to get it out."

Cisco looked at Iris. "Did she really just say that? I mean she's like the queen of holding it in." Iris smiled in spite of herself.

Caitlin rolled her eyes. "Maybe I'm just happy in my relationship and I want the same for you two. You'll never know until you try."

"Works for me. But if you start doing karaoke sober, I'm going to assume you've been body snatched." Cisco looked to Iris for confirmation, who nodded in agreement. Cisco held up a fist, and she bumped it.

Caitlin rushed to get her tablet. "Just leave everything to me!"

* * *

 

It took Caitlin a week and a half to plan Barry's welcome back party, which was impressive considering she made it quite lavish. Once Felicity was alerted she was fully on board, donating a large sum of money to help cover cost. Barry was a bit confused at the sudden rush for a party since he'd already been back several weeks but didn't argue. Iris kept a low profile and pretended she knew little about the party, at the same time wrestling with the idea of coming clean about her feelings.

The day of the party Cisco was working in his workshop, working his glasses into a visor that covered most of his face and attached to a preliminary suit design, when Barry's head popped in. "Cisco, can I ask you something?"

"Sure." Cisco didn't look up.

"Is there any way to...rework my suit?"

Cisco eyes looked up but his head stayed down, giving him the appearance of a glaring angry hobbit. "What do you mean rework it? You don't like my suit?"

"No, I love it, but I was hoping to um, incorporate something new into it. A few things..."

Cisco did look up now. "Like what? I add new things to it all the time. What could be missing?"

Barry glanced behind him and moved forward, unwrapping an object in a lint-free cloth. "Well, I was wondering if we could add something to make it possible to have an A.I. with me, doing calculations and things if needed when I'm out in the field..."

"WHAT?!" Cisco realized how loud he was and lowered his voice. "Like Gideon? Wait, is she still around? I tried to get into that time vault while you were gone and it was a no go. It still works for you?"

Barry nodded. "I think the door will only open for a speedster. But yes, she's still there and while I was working on something else she mentioned that Eobard traveled here with her by inserting her into a special slot in his suit. She could interface with him and give him information while he was wearing it. That's how she even got to this time with him. We're lucky she wasn't with him when he got erased. He set her up in the time vault and made her more permanent there so he must have been intending to leave her there. I think I've figured out how to make her mobile again. And I think I know how to insert her into the comm system in my suit but I didn't want you mad at me for messing with it." Barry looked at Cisco's face to judge the impending reaction.

Cisco's mind was already whirling with ideas. "Oh. My. God. The possibilities, Barry! We could even use her to activate some of your suit functions remotely if you're in trouble and if we aren't around! So how do you think you're going to set her up in the suit?"

Barry breathed a sigh of relief. "Well, first I need to show you something else." Barry removed a ring from the cloth and set the cloth aside. He slipped it on his finger and took a few steps back.

Cisco frowned as he looked at it. "Is that? I thought Eobard was wearing his when he was erased."

Barry smiled. "He was. This one is mine, I made it myself. Took a bit of work to get it functional, though. I did change a few things here and there..." Barry held his hand out and pointed the ring in front of him, then summoned the speed force. Lightning crackled in his eyes, and the ring sprang open, ejecting Barry's suit. Just like Eobard, Barry rushed into it and stood in front of Cisco, who was gaping.

Cisco couldn't speak for a moment. Barry reached back to dislodge the wedgie he had. "Still not a perfect fit with clothes underneath, wanted to ask you about that too."

Cisco just gestured with both hands wide, moving up and down to cover Barry's entire body. "Oh we are gonna talk about the science that makes this possible and we are gonna do it right now!"

Barry laughed. "Sure thing. But I need to get out of this first, my clothes are all bunched up inside and it's really uncomfortable..."

"Gotta work out the wrinkles, eh?" Cisco gave him a smug look, obviously proud of his joke.

Barry groaned.

* * *

 That evening Team Arrow and Team Flash met at a classy restaurant. Barry noted that the parking lot was almost empty on his way in but thought little of it. He straightened his rented tux and bowtie before he pulled the door open.

Iris, Cisco, Ronnie and Caitlin were already waiting at the bar. Caitlin and Iris were deep in conversation and stopped abruptly as he came in. Both stood up, Caitlin moving back to Ronnie and Iris stepping forward to meet him.

He couldn't help but stare. Iris looked amazing. She always did, really, but she looked so beautiful tonight he couldn't think for a moment.

Iris noted his reaction and felt a swell of hope. Every hour spent in careful preparation was suddenly worth it. She smiled at him, almost shy. "Hi Barry."

"Hey." He shook off his thoughts and reached to hug her. "You look lovely, Iris."

"Thanks." She noted how incredible he looked as well but didn't verbalize it. Instead she reached into her purse. "You look great, but I think a small change will make it better."

"Oh?" His eyebrows rose as he looked down at himself, trying to see if he'd forgotten something.

"Yeah." Smiling, she held up a different bowtie. It was red, like his suit, and had small gold polka dots spread across it.

His face split in a delighted smile. "Is that for me? It's great!"

Iris smiled, enormously pleased. "I thought it looked like you. And this one's not rented, so it's yours to keep." She busied herself removing his rented tie and replacing it with the new one. She was secretly glad she had purposely worn substantial heels so she could reach without looking silly. Barry smiled down at her, doing his best to hold still.

Both were unaware they were being observed by the other three. Caitlin looked very pleased. Cisco leaned over to Ronnie, speaking in a whisper. "Did she really just give him a bowtie? And is he  _really_ that happy about it?"

Ronnie nodded. "Looks like it."

Barry was still smiling as she finished. "Thanks, Iris. I love it."

"I'm glad." She smiled back, lost in his green eyes.

Cisco's snort of laughter broke them apart. "You guys really are made for each—ow!" Caitlin had not-so-discreetly elbowed him in the ribs.

Iris was already giving Cisco a look of death, but was saved having to tackle him by the timely entrance of Martin and Clarissa. The rest of the party guests entered soon after. Squeals were exchanged as Felicity, Iris and Caitlin greeted each other. The men nodded and exchanged greetings, and introductions were made for anyone who wasn't already acquainted. Diggle had brought Lyla and Sarah too and there was much cooing over the young toddler. Thea smiled and waved as she was introduced. Cisco was quick to move to Laurel's side when dinner was announced.

"Shall we?" Holding his wife's hand, Martin led the way into the dining area when it was time, only to stop in surprise as he realized that the entire room was empty.

"Oh." Felicity blushed slightly. "Caitlin couldn't find a banquet room on such short notice, so I just paid for the entire restaurant. It was easier that way, and they know me from last time when Ray was here. Not that they know me really well, but they remembered the occasion..."

Barry looked around. "Oh this is the same restaurant! I thought it looked familiar..." The only difference he noted was that one area of tables had been cleared for a small dance floor and there was a DJ in the corner setting up quiet music as they watched. And of course, the lights were low and Caitlin had ensured there were decorative strands of lights absolutely everywhere.

Oliver's eyebrow quirked. "There are benefits to Felicity's new position as CEO of Palmer Tech." The others laughed.

They moved to the tables, several long ones lined up together so everyone could talk. There was amiable chatter between all parties as they waited for food. Iris sat next to Barry with an innocent smile while Caitlin gave an approving look from down the table. Barry smiled at her and then looked across the table, observing Oliver and Felicity. They were whispering together, and Oliver had obviously said something funny to Felicity because she was giggling quietly while he stroked her fingers. Oliver's face was lit with a smile, which was truly bizarre in many ways. Oliver glanced over and realized Barry was observing. He stopped whispering to Felicity but didn't stop stroking her fingers. "What, Barry?"

Barry shook his head. Oliver looked like an even happier version of Oliver Queen from the other world. It was jarring. "Sorry, it's just that you remind me of someone else. Never thought that would happen." Iris glanced his way, trying not to smile as she remembered everything he'd told her about the Green Arrow with the Robin Hood hat.

"Who does he remind you of? Oh! Wait! Tell us all about your adventures in another world, Barry!" Felicity leaned across the table, very interested. Barry obliged. Sure enough, the moment he got to the hat Felicity erupted into laughter. Oliver looked horrified.

Cisco was seated between Diggle, who was trying to keep his daughter from grabbing every piece of silverware on the table, and Laurel. He dodged a flying tiny fist and leaned towards Laurel. "How have you been? I see reports of your crime-fighting on the news sometimes."

Laurel graced him with a smile. "Not bad. I saw the footage shot by a girl on her phone of some guy in a t-shirt catching the Flash. He looked kind of familiar." Her eyes were dancing now.

Cisco blushed slightly. "Yeah, didn't see that coming. I'm working on that part of my powers now. You know," He put his hands out, palms towards her, and affected a slight swaggering tone "practicin' my force push."

Laurel giggled, which drew the attention of Thea on her other side. The younger woman gave them a surprised look, clearly startled to hear such a sound emerge from Laurel Lance. Laurel was blushing slightly too as she moved the conversation forward.

Joe was discussing children and babies with Lyla, and then moved on to guns and body armor. Diggle joined in occasionally. Cisco surveyed the table and came to a realization. "Man this is like some evil villain's dream! Look at all the heroes and crime-fighters, all in one place!"

The entire table erupted with whispering shhhing sounds as all looked around to make sure no waiters were near. Luckily there weren't, the DJ had just taken a small break.

Cisco looked very abashed. Laurel leaned toward him. "Don't say that too loud I don't want to have to use my weapons tonight."

Cisco frowned at her. "You brought weapons? Where are they?" Laurel raised an eyebrow. "No, never mind, it's better if I don't know." Laurel giggled again, giving him the courage to ask her to dance when dinner was over. She agreed.

Dinner was lively and enjoyable as everyone talked and ate. Once dessert was over Caitlin tapped a spoon on her water goblet and stood with a glass of wine. Ronnie smiled up at her as she gained the group's attention.

"Thank you all for coming tonight, it is wonderful to spend time with friends. We are here to welcome Barry home and tell him he was sorely missed. We hope he's with us for a very long time."

Barry acknowledged her words with an embarrassed duck of his head as there were murmurs of agreement from all, along with a "Hear, hear!" from Cisco's end of the table. Iris turned to Barry and put a hand on his shoulder, and he could read her gratitude to have him back all over her face. He smiled back and then stood awkwardly.

"Umm, thanks guys. I wouldn't be here without you in one way or another, and I just want to say thank you for helping me get back to where I'm supposed to be. Thanks."

They toasted and drank, and then Caitlin took charge again. "Okay! Time for dancing!" As people stood and stretched, she skittered over to the music table and leaned across it, whispering loudly to the DJ. "Make it soft and slow! Romantic music!" He nodded and she slipped away again, tottering slightly on her heels, to return to Ronnie.

Cisco stood and attempted to be as formal as possible, holding out his hand. "Madam, shall we dance?"

"Yes we shall." Laurel took his hand as she stood and they walked to the dance floor, which was still largely unoccupied except for Diggle "dancing" with baby Sarah while Lyla watched.

Cisco and Laurel held hands and started to sway. Cisco cleared his throat, feeling nervous. "Um, so tell me about yourself. There's a lot I don't know."

Laurel obliged. "Well I started as the Black Canary last year, as you know—"

"No, no—" Cisco's interjection was soft. "I didn't want to know about the Black Canary. I wanted to know more about you. Laurel Lance."

For some reason his words affected her deeply. It wasn't often people wanted to know about her anymore. Most people in her circle already knew her. Or thought they did. She swallowed a sudden lump in her throat. "Oh. Uhh. I don't know what to tell you..."

Cisco smiled gently. "Let's start with your favorite candy. Is it Red Vines, or was that just to make me feel better that day?"

"No, I love Red Vines! My sister and I used to eat whole boxes together! Once I made myself sick on them. Or maybe twice..." she drifted off as he laughed.

"Me too! What's your favorite movie?"

"Movie? I don't know if I have one."

"Oh, come on, everyone has to have a favorite movie! It's like a requirement for existing. Come on, think about it..."

Laurel laughed, genuinely enjoying the conversation. "I don't know, maybe Princess Bride?"

Cisco closed his eyes and lifted his face to the heavens, whispering "yesssss" under his breath. "That was the perfect answer. What kind of music do you like?"

"Anything but rap."

"Really? Okay, maybe we can work through that. I respect your likes and dislikes, even if they're sad and limited..."

She cuffed him on the shoulder. "Don't make me bust out my weapons, Cisco Ramon."

Iris watched them from afar, glad that Cisco seemed to be making progress. He looked so happy dancing with Laurel, and she was practically radiant. The low lighting and soft glow emitted by the many stringed lights really added to the atmosphere. More couples had drifted out to dance and the dance floor was filling. She stood and smoothed her dress, one she'd spent hours deciding on. It was glamorous and flattering and it felt like they were at a high society holiday party.

Maybe it was Christmas after all.

"Barry? Want to dance?"

He looked up, startled. "Yeah, sure."

He scrambled to his feet and took her hand, leading the way. Iris followed but not before Caitlin caught her eye and mouthed "Tell him!" Iris gave her a warning look promising that she'd do it in her own time.

Once onto the dance floor Barry turned and held out his arms. It was so natural for her to slip into them. Their hands slid together and they began to sway. Barry made sure he didn't step on her, his eyes flicking down every so often to check his foot placement. Her hand not holding Barry's slid up to his shoulder and rested there. She had to look up and he down for their eyes to meet, but it had been that way so long neither really noticed it anymore.

Iris smiled up at him. "Welcome home, Barry."

"Thanks. I never would've made it without you."

Her brows drew together. "I didn't catch you, what did I do?"

"Cisco told me how you convinced him to use his powers on the metal piece again. He also told me how you stayed up all night with him to find the pieces here and realize what had happened to me. And he told me how you brought Laurel down to talk to him after the first attempt failed and how you never stopped believing I'd make it back. You kept him going. And in a lot of ways, you kept me going too. So it's true. I never would have made it back without you."

"Thanks Barry." Her face was soft and her eyes shining with emotion as they swayed. Her hand on his shoulder began to stroke toward his neck, resting above the collar of his tux so he could feel the cool of her fingers on his neck. Her thumb stroked his jawline.

A prickle of unease began to slither through him, something he couldn't identify. He tried to gather his thoughts, even though they felt scattered halfway across the room. Before he could speak Iris did.

"I don't ever want to lose you again, Barry. I feel like I've done that plenty for one lifetime. I'm not strong enough to do it again."

He forgot her thumb was stroking his jaw, forgot they were holding each other, still technically dancing as he rushed to reassure her. "You are so much stronger than you know, Iris. You could handle it. You can handle anything. But you won't have to find out. I'll always be here, your best friend." He smiled.

She could feel the electricity between them, even as he spoke. It was amazing, overpowering. She opened her mouth to tell him, but his next words fell on her, greatly dampening the effect.

"I'm so sorry I couldn't bring Eddie back to you too, but one day you'll find someone else again. Someone you love just as much. Someone who makes you happy. And I'll still be there. Give it time, Iris." His free hand moved to cup her cheek as he stared into her eyes. "You will be happy again."

Her insides were dragging down deep inside her, slowly drooping and pulling together to become one knot, bound on itself for protection. It couldn't be more apparent that he was not thinking of himself.

Their chemistry was strong, but was that enough to overcome the huge emotional hurdles? Their friendship was deep, but was it deep enough to include romantic love? She could feel the ghost of Eddie, slipping between them. Driving them apart. Maybe this just wasn't supposed to happen. Not in this timeline. Maybe her weakness had ruined it. She knew she wasn't supposed to have ever had Eddie. Not according to the future newspaper article. She was supposed to have Barry. Until she'd lost him. But Eobard had ruined everything, and they had grown up together, and during the coma she had let Eddie into her life and her heart.

She hated Eobard in that moment, but she hated herself too.

Her increased breathing and the look on her face, the unshed tears in her eyes made Barry regret reminding her of Eddie. "I'm sorry, Iris, I shouldn't have brought him up. I was just tryi—"

"I know." She patted his shoulder absently, hand now far away from his neck and jaw. "I know. It's okay Barry. It just wasn't meant to be."

The sound of a body hitting the floor distracted them and caught the attention of the entire room. Oliver had bolted to his feet; Joe was reaching for his gun when Cisco's laughter echoed through the space.

Cisco was flat on his back. Laurel was standing over him with one of his arms in both hands, the sole of her heeled shoe gently resting on his chest. "See?"

Cisco struggled to his feet. "You're right, that's a much better move! Can you show me how to do that?"

Thea approached the two. "If you're going to learn that move you definitely need a sparring partner." She kicked off her shoes and Laurel did the same. Martin and Clarissa watched in consternation. Joe just put his hand over his eyes.

Several body slams later Cisco was ready to stop being the test subject, but he did feel like he had a better handle on executing the move. Waiters were starting to poke their heads in to make sure no one was in danger. Iris excused herself to go to the bathroom, Caitlin followed close behind. Felicity approached the sparring trio, hissing a whispered warning. "Maybe we don't practice our—" she went even quieter "vigilante skills in a public place?"

"We're just practicing self-defense moves, that's all." Laurel looked at Cisco, who was rubbing his back. They both laughed. Thea gave him an approving nod.

Felicity headed back for the table, where Joe was holding a sleeping Sarah while he chatted with Diggle and Lyla. Oliver stood before she made it back and intercepted her. His hand rested on her back as he leaned in to speak quietly. "So?"

Felicity's look was blank. "So...what?"

"So what do you think about Barry and his best friend on the dance floor?" Oliver tilted his head in the general direction of the place Iris and Barry had danced, even though Barry was now across the room chatting with Martin and Ronnie.

Felicity sighed. "I think it looks very familiar."

"Mmhmm." Oliver nodded. He noted Iris come back from the restroom with Caitlin and sit in the most secluded area possible. He caught Joe looking her way with concern, his arms still full of the baby.

Barry immediately moved over to her. Oliver watched as they traded a few words. Barry reached for her hand at the same time she reached for his, and they seemed to end on good terms. Barry left Iris and Caitlin and moved away, so Oliver and Felicity moved to talk to him.

Felicity and Barry made small talk. Oliver noted how Caitlin seemed to be doing her best to comfort Iris, and how Iris' gaze kept coming back to Barry, who had no idea since his back was to her. He slid in at the right break in conversation. "So, Barry, how are things with you and Iris?"

Barry's eyebrows shot up. "Fine. I guess. She's just having a hard time, I brought up Eddie and that was stupid..."

"Not sure that's the only stupid thing around here." Felicity's muttered reply was so low Barry barely heard it. He gave her questioning look.

But Oliver heard it just fine. He moved forward a step, pulling Barry's focus to himself. His face was serious and concerned. "Barry, I think I gave you some bad advice last year. Sometimes, guys like us do get the girl." His eyes flicked to Iris.

Barry couldn't miss his meaning. He smiled, if a bit sadly. "Yeah. Sometimes we do." He turned to look at Iris, who averted her eyes so quick only Oliver noted it. His mind was filled with Barry and Iris in the other world, happy together. He glanced at Laurel, who hadn't moved away from Cisco all night, remembering Dinah. It was strange how things worked out sometimes.

Barry looked back at Oliver and Felicity. "Just not in the way we expect." Giving them a somber smile, he headed over to talk with Cisco and Laurel, who were grouped with Thea and the Steins now.

Oliver and Felicity watched him go. Oliver was deep in thought for a moment, before his head swiveled to Felicity. "Was I that blind?"

Felicity gave him a gentle, patient smile. "No." She waited until his relieved sigh subsided. "You were worse."

"Worse?" He looked crestfallen.

Felicity giggled. "Yep. And stupid too." She wrapped her arms around one of his and pulled him close, leaning up to his ear. "But I know how you can make it up to me..."

"Oh? How?"

"Do you know where we can get you a green Robin Hood hat?"

Oliver's head shook back and forth as he sighed. "I knew you weren't going to forget that."

She giggled, hugging him close. "That's too good to forget." Her giggles eventually made him smile a little bit, then more, and then a full smile that lit up his face.

Felicity's smile faded as she looked over at Iris, then back to Barry. "I should talk to them."

His hands immediately went to her shoulders, holding her back. "No, no, no." He waited until she stopped trying to leave and looked up at him. "This is something they're going to have to figure out for themselves."

"Fine." Her attention went right back to him. "Now about that hat..."

"Felicity..."

When the party broke up that night, everyone reluctantly parted ways to head for their destinations. Amid goodbyes and goodnights, Cisco halted Laurel outside the restaurant. "Hey, can I have your number so we can text?" He held up his cell phone.

"Only if I can get yours." She handed him her phone. They each put their number into the phone they had, and when Cisco got his back he was brave enough to make his next request.

"Can I—get your picture for my contact list?"

Laurel leaned closer. "Trying to get another picture of the Black Canary?" She arched her eyebrows.

"No. I want a picture of Laurel this time." He smiled at her, no trace of pretense.

Thea pushed Laurel over to stand next to Cisco. "Take one together. I'll do it." She reached for the phone Cisco was handing over and backed up a few steps. "Smile!"

This time Laurel didn't have a mask or a slightly annoyed look on her face, and Cisco wasn't standing on tiptoe to be as tall as her. Thea focused the camera on their faces, each head tilted toward the other, bathed in light from the lamps over the restaurant doors. They were happy and content. Thea snapped the picture, and Laurel handed hers over too for a repeat.

"Thanks Thea."

"Yeah, thanks."

Thea smiled at them. "I'll be in the car." She headed across the parking lot.

Cisco turned to Laurel, suddenly full of nerves. "So, it was great hanging with you tonight. I'd ask you to do it again, but the distance between Star City and Central is pretty big."

Laurel's face softened. "It is pretty big." She leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek. "But it's not too big." She pressed a closed kiss to his lips, then pulled back to survey his stunned look with satisfaction. "Is it?"

Cisco stared at her, his lips and cheek tingling. "No. No it's not."

"Then we'll just have to make sure next time is sooner rather than later, won't we?"

His face split into a grin. "Yes we definitely will."

Her eyes sparkled at him as she stepped off the curb and into the parking lot. "Bye, Cisco."

"Bye." She was several steps away before he glanced at his phone, remembered, and yelled "I'll text you!"

"You better!" She threw it over her shoulder as she got into the car, Thea behind the wheel.

He watched the car pull out of the parking lot, then looked back down at the picture on his phone. In it she was more beautiful than even the Black Canary picture. Something told him he'd be staring at this one far more often. He wondered if it was too soon to text her.

Laurel held her phone in her lap, staring at the picture as well. Thea spoke from the driver's side. "He's cute. And he seems really sweet."

Laurel smiled. "He's definitely cute. Is it too soon to text him?"

Thea smiled to herself. In the last six months of living with Laurel she'd never seen the woman light up like this around a guy. She didn't know everything about Laurel's love life, but in her experience she'd only seen Laurel light up like this for two other people. One was her brother, but that had been a long time ago. Before the shipwreck and Sarah and too much terrible history that couldn't be overcome. The other had been Tommy.

Thea focused on the road as they made their way out of town. It was strange how things worked out sometimes.

* * *

 Cisco was sleeping deeply when the dream started. Or rather, the sounds. He never really got a clear image of anything, just whirls of color and image that never became anything recognizable. But the sounds were very clear. Howling wind and voices screaming, a strange clickety clacking sound that was multiplied by what sounded like a million. And the voice, breaking in and out like static on a bad phone connection.

"Cisco! –sco! C—y—ar me?"

"Cisco, y—ld is in danger! You're in danger Cisco!"

Cisco woke with a start, the voice echoing in his head. He sat for a moment, heart racing, trying to make sense of things. He knew whose voice he'd heard, but he hadn't heard it this way in a while. It was Barry talking to him.

He felt a small chill. He'd already seen an alternate timeline. Was he seeing the future of this one?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oookay, lots of developments here!
> 
> Special thanks to Ishipit87 for the idea of the party, I was trying to finangle another meeting for Cisco and Laurel and for some reason just could not come up with one! Thanks hon, it worked out perfectly! :)
> 
> Iris' gift of the bowtie to Barry is straight from the comics!
> 
> Yes, the angst is now at an all time high. Be patient, it will get better the very next chapter! :)


	22. Like Air

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything changes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This sucker's been a long time coming! Hope you like it! :)

Barry answered his phone, rubbing his eyes in the dark. "What's up, Cisco?"

"Hey."

Cisco's voice sounded odd, even for the middle of the night. Barry woke up some more. "What's the matter?"

"I just had a weird dream."

"Was Laurel in it? You guys looked pretty chummy last night." Barry's mouth was already curving in a smile.

"Not that kind of dream! It was more like the kind I had when you reset the timeline, or when you contacted me from the other world. Well, kind of, it was more sound than anything else..."

Barry's smile had long since slipped away. He sat up in bed, very serious. "Tell me what you heard."

Cisco explained it the best he could remember. By the time he was finished Barry was frowning in concentration. There was a small pause before Cisco asked a hesitant question.

"Did you—have you reset any timelines lately?"

"Not that I remember, and I think I'd remember it."

"Do you think maybe it's a dream about the future? I don't think I've even scratched the surface of what these powers can do. I saw the timeline you reset so anything's possible."

"Maybe. Or maybe Barry's reaching out from the other world." Barry suddenly felt like Bear again, worried about his other self and Barry's Iris.

"How can he do that? I thought you were the one with the secondary frequency."

"I got that through the singularity. Barry was in it with me when they got me home."

Also sitting up in bed, Cisco felt another chill. "Do you think something's wrong?"

"I have no idea. It could be either one." Barry ran a hand through his hair. "But he—or me—said  _you_  were in danger, right?"

"Right, but it was really hard to hear everything you said, that was just the part I could make out."

"Okay. Well if he—I—Barry said you were in danger, hopefully they're fine and it's just me reaching out from the future or something. Stranger things have happened in Central City. Is anything going on we should know about?"

"No, you guys know about my powers, the only thing I'm keeping secret nowadays is my picture with the Black Canary—crap."

Barry sat up straighter, laughing in spite of the seriousness of the conversation. "Your what? How'd you manage that? When did you get it?"

"She's going to kill me. She said she'd kill me if I showed it to anyone, I wonder if telling counts. Or maybe she'll take it easy on me now..."

"Please, we all just had a dinner party last night, she won't kill you if you tell me. Or if you show me.."

"No."

Barry laughed. "Okay fine. So you don't know of any reason you'd be in danger?"

"Besides hanging out and fighting crime with you? No."

"Okay. Tell me right away if anything changes, I'll be there. And if you get in trouble you just blast whoever it is with the moves you're learning."

"Thanks, man."

"No problem."

They both hung up, but sleep didn't come easily to either one.

* * *

 

"So, no late night chats with Barry lately? Things seem pretty much the same."

"Let it go, Caitlin." Iris didn't take her eyes off the monitor in front of her, researching for their latest problem metahuman. It had been a week since the party, and nothing had changed. Caitlin placed her tablet on her workstation and sat down next to her. When she didn't look up Caitlin started talking anyway.

"Iris, I just think you're letting fear get in your way."

Iris' typing paused. "Maybe I am. Maybe I'm just too weak."

Caitlin's eyebrows rose. "I can think of quite a few words to describe Iris West, but weak would never be one of them."

Iris resumed typing. "I meant what I said in the ladies' room at the restaurant. Too much has happened. It's just not meant to be."

Caitlin studied her profile for a few moments. Iris could pinpoint the exact moment she gave up. "I'm sorry, Iris."

Iris flashed a sad smile her way. "Me too. Thanks for helping. The party was beautiful." They hugged briefly.

Caitlin reluctantly stood up and moved away. Iris clicked a random link, trying to look busy while her thoughts ran over the same loop they had been for the last week. She always ended up at the same place.

Maybe she should tell Barry still, but it seemed quite apparent that it would introduce a lot of tension and awkwardness, just like when he had told her. She wasn't ready to sacrifice their friendship if that was all she could have. It was better this way.

At least that's what she kept telling herself.

* * *

 

Four days later she was at work finishing up for the day when a new lead came in. Police were investigating a death under strange circumstances on the west side of town. She was in need of a new story and this sounded very like a metahuman-related death. Nowadays anything labeled "strange circumstances" usually was. If she was lucky her dad would be investigating and she might be able to wiggle some more information out.

She glanced out the windows and noted the heavy rain that was still falling, complete with occasional bright bursts of lightning high up in the clouds. Better take her umbrella too.

The rain was beginning to taper off some by the time she was wending her way through police cars with lights blazing, cops and curious bystanders. She folded her umbrella and began looking for her father or Barry, quickly spotting them near a body draped with a cloth as Barry stood up and began removing his disposable gloves. He was laughing at something her dad's partner had said, they were both smiling while Joe appeared to be rolling his eyes. She tried not to notice how nice her best friend looked tonight, pulling her coat tighter around her as she approached.

"Hey, guys! I heard about a suspicious death and thought I'd check it out! Any information you can give me?"

"Hey, baby." Joe moved to hug her quickly and then introduced her to his partner. "Patty Spivot, this is my daughter Iris, she works for CCPN. Iris, my partner Patty Spivot."

"Hi, nice to meet you." Iris smiled as she shook Patty's hand. Patty did the same.

Joe tapped his partner's shoulder. "Patty, let's see if anyone in the crowd noticed anything strange. Barry, I'm sure I don't have to remind you about sharing details of an active police investigation with the press?" He raised an eyebrow at Barry, giving him a look full of subtext.

"Of course, Joe, I remember." Barry affected as much of an innocent look as he could muster. Iris suppressed a smile. It was quite obvious that her dad was leading his partner away so Barry could give her the details on the death, since they'd all be discussing it at S.T.A.R. Labs later anyway.

Barry crouched down to finish putting his tools back in his forensics case and held his position there. Iris followed his move, making it look as if they were in casual conversation.

"So?"

Barry glanced her way and then around, making sure they weren't being observed by anyone nearby. "This definitely looks like a metahuman case. Whole pieces of this guy are just—gone." His tone was low enough for her to catch but not loud enough to carry.

"What do you mean gone? Like taken?" Her interest was already piqued, memories flooding back.

"No, like just not there. It's weird." Barry flipped a corner of the covering back for just a moment and then replaced it quickly.

But it was enough. Entire areas of the man's face and chest were missing; small pieces the size of an apple or less. The largest was located in the chest. Iris noted it quickly and stood up, Barry following suit. "I've seen that before. Ask Cisco, he'll know more about the science of it. This is like the guy who went after Jacob."

Barry's eyes widened. "For real? Oh man...but he's dead, right?" Iris nodded. "What, did he have a brother or something?"

"Not that I knew—" Iris immediately stopped talking as Patty and Joe made their way over. She raised her voice to include them as well. "Well, if you can't tell me anything I guess I'll be on my way." She shifted her umbrella. "See you guys later."

"Hey, I'll walk with you. It's late and the storm is blowing over. Well, except for the lightning." Barry gestured to the sky, where sheets of lightning were giving way to classic strikes in the distance. He bent down to pick up his case.

Iris hugged her father and waited while Barry said goodbye to Joe and Patty. She couldn't miss the smile Barry gave the other woman, or the small spurt of jealousy that she quickly squelched.

They started to walk back toward town. Iris' apartment was several blocks away so she had left her car and walked most of the distance. She surveyed the sky, checking to see if it was going to drench them again but the rain seemed to have stopped. There were soft rumbles of thunder and quick strikes of lightning in the distance. She smiled over at Barry, quiet beside her.

"You worried about getting struck again?"

Barry threw her a surprised look as he laughed. "No, I think it got me good enough the first time. Besides, no particle accelerator to explode again, and what could it really do to me this time?"

They both chuckled. Barry seemed to be in a pretty good mood. Iris wondered if it was because of her or the woman he'd been laughing with before she arrived. "So, Patty, she looks nice..."

Barry nodded. "She is. She's also pretty, and funny too. She made this joke just before you got there..."

He kept rambling on, something about a bad pun and Joe rolling his eyes, while Iris sunk into her own thoughts.

She'd known there was something in that smile he gave Patty. Deep down she had recognized it. He was interested in her. He wasn't even thinking about Iris that way anymore. Why? Was she so undesirable? Had she killed his feelings for her? Those feelings he had felt since childhood, according to him? Was everything that had happened enough to suffocate a love like that? It hadn't done it for her. But suddenly Barry was busy talking about  _Pat-ty Spi-vot_  like she was the best thing since...

Iris stopped walking, realizing that she had just pronounced Patty's name the same way she had always said Becky Cooper's. That nightmare of a girlfriend had never been worthy of Barry, but she barely even knew Patty.

She was jealous. Jealous of a woman she had only just met, because Barry was interested in her. There was no way she could remain simple friends with Barry if this was how she felt about him, no way that she would ever be okay with him dating anyone else but her. She was too weak to overcome the hurdles, but her feelings were too strong to simply put them aside for the rest of their lives. She suddenly understood how Barry must have felt when he'd told her. That he couldn't hide it anymore, that the timing was terrible but he had to get it out and let the pieces fall where they may.

"...do you think I should ask her out?" Barry had stopped next to her, still talking, still holding his case and asking her a question as if nothing was wrong.

But everything was wrong.

She stared at him and realized he was waiting for an answer. She felt overwhelmed with weakness. If she didn't tell him now...if she told him yes...she might be strong enough to deal with the ramifications, but she was too weak not to support him in that relationship, however long it lasted.

She didn't care about destiny, the possibility of losing him in a nebulous timeline, or anything else in that moment. All she knew was that she wanted him, no matter what the future held for them. She wanted Barry Allen forever.

"Iris?" He was still waiting for an answer.

"No." Her voice was suddenly strong and firm. "I don't think you should. She's not the right girl for you."

He couldn't hide the disappointment in his eyes. It was clear her opinion mattered a great deal. "Well then, who is?'

Words could never communicate the depth and nuance of her feelings for him. Not "me", not "I love you", not "I'm the only girl". So she bypassed them all, going straight for action: The most compelling action she could think of.

Using the hand not holding an umbrella, she grabbed his jacket and the sweater underneath, forming a fist and pulling him down to her as she rose up on her toes. Startled by the sudden unexpected movement, he was easy to yank towards her as he moved forward a step to keep his feet. Their lips met like two forces crashing together, echoed by the strike of lightning behind them and the roll of thunder that softly reverberated. Barry's case slipped through nerveless fingers to land on the ground, and Iris couldn't help but bend one leg at the knee, trying to push higher into the kiss.

Kissing him was like discovering air after holding her breath too long. It was necessary to living, something she would no longer do without. His lips, first soft and slack with surprise became supple and pliant, an equal partner. He tasted like ambrosia or some rejuvenating nectar no mortal had ever consumed. She came alive with its heady intoxication, sure that she never wanted to stop, that they were spinning through space clutching each other and would be forever, in any world, in any time. He was hers and she was his. This was the way it should be, and the way it would be forever, despite whatever forces tried to pull them apart. They would always choose each other.

The world faded, along with the sounds of traffic and raindrops, and somewhere far away even with her eyes closed, she could have sworn she heard angels singing.

She was gently lipping his upper lip, applying a gentle suction when he gasped and stiffened as if waking from a dream. Immediately the world sped up around her. She was abruptly standing, breathing hard, in the small living room of her own apartment. Barry was standing opposite her, also breathing hard. His case was on the floor, the door shut behind him. He must have super sped them up here. She would have been grateful for the increased privacy if not for the look on his face. It was almost fearful, a stroke shy of panicked. He breathed out his next words. "Iris...what are you doing?"

She moved toward him, dropping her umbrella. Her hands rose to cup both sides of his face. "I love you, Barry." She smiled at him gently.

If she was hoping to see him smile with happiness and make the same declaration, she didn't get it. He looked down at her, raising his hands to hold her wrists. He looked pained, and very upset. "Oh boy. Iris, I was worried this would happen..." He gently pulled her hands off his face and held them in his own, stroking the backs of her fingers.

"Look, Iris..." he swallowed "I know you care for me and you always will. And I'll always care for you. But I think you're having a hard time, and I think you might be substituting me for who you really want—"

"What? No..."

"And I'm so sorry, and I  _cannot believe_  I'm saying this. Believe me I can't. But I can't be your second choice."

There was a split second of stunned silence. "You're not."

"Yes. Yes, I am. And it's okay. But I don't want to be the one you settle for because the love of your life died—"

"He wasn't—that's not—"

"I'll always be here for you. I'll always be your best friend. You don't have to do this to keep me around or because you think it's your only option." He let go of her hands, backing to the door. "I should go—"

She reached for him again. "Barry, wait—"

But he evaded her grasp. "It's okay, Iris, it's okay! You chose Eddie over me, and that's okay. You can't change your feelings, don't fight it. I'm not angry at you, you shouldn't feel guilty."

He was talking so fast she could barely get a few words in at a time. "That's not what happened—no, I'm not fighting it!—"

But his hand was on the doorknob, already turning it, his case forgotten on the floor in his haste to exit. "We can just forget this—"

"I don't want to—"

"—we can stay friends don't worry, everything will stay the same, but I should go—"

"You were supposed to change it!"

The words hung in the air, stopping everything with the sheer force of their emotion and desperation. Barry stilled, staring at her in shock as tears finally spilled over and ran down her face.

"What?" He looked completely lost, suddenly adrift.

She tried to stem the flow of tears but couldn't. Finally she gave up trying and let them flow out of her, carrying word upon word with them.

"You were supposed to change it, Barry. You were going to save your mom and everything was going to change. You were going to throw away all our years together, our friendship, growing up together with Dad, and I was going to let you because it was your mom, how could I say no? But I knew we would be together because of the newspaper article Eobard showed Eddie. That was the one thing I held on to. And Eddie broke up with me, he was right, it was supposed to be you and me, but then when he came back you had decided to do it, and I knew it wouldn't last, and I knew that once you saved your mom we'd be together and no one would ever remember, not even me! So who could it hurt if I took Eddie back? If I gave him hope for a future that was never going to happen? That way I didn't have to hurt him. I didn't have to prove him right and show him that I loved you more and break his heart and he would never know..."

Her voice shook with the weight of the burden she was finally unloading, the one she'd kept hidden for so many months.

Barry stared at her, horrified.

"But you left and when you came back you hadn't changed  _anything_ , Barry! And Eddie killed himself to save us and you were missing, and even when you came back you said my name different and I knew everything was all wrong, I messed everything up trying not to hurt anyone but I hurt  _everyone_  and I'm so sorry, Barry...I'm so sorry..." She dissolved into sobs, and he couldn't stop himself from rushing forward to hold her as she cried. Of course he couldn't. She buried her head into his chest, gripping his jacket front, feeling weak in every way. "Why didn't you save her, Barry? Why did you come back?"

In all the weeks since his return she had never asked him that. No one had. Tears pricked his eyes too as he felt her body shake with sobs in his arms, as he remembered that trip to the past. "I'm so sorry, Iris..."

He picked her up and walked to the couch, sitting down with her next to him, still holding her close. There were no more words from her; just endless sobs as months and months of pent up feelings rushed out of the place she had locked them away. She laid her head on his chest and cried into his jacket as he gently stroked her back. Tears ran down his face too as he struggled to contain his emotions, to swallow the huge lump in his throat.

They lost track of time. Time was the one thing that didn't matter just then, not even time travel. What was done was done, and now they could only pick up the pieces.

Eventually Iris' sobs subsided, tapering off into silence interrupted by an occasional sniffle. Barry's arm stayed around her, even when he finally ceased rubbing her back.

It took several false starts before Barry could actually speak. "I'm so sorry, Iris."

Iris shook her head. "It's not your fault. I was weak."

"Weak? How do you figure?"

"I was too weak to really acknowledge my feelings. Too weak to take action that would hurt anyone." Silence fell before she spoke again, sounding suddenly like a little girl. "Does that make me a bad person?"

"Because you didn't want to break someone's heart? No!" He shifted so he could lift her face, forcing her gaze to meet his. "You're too full of love, and that makes you strong. You tried to take the kindest way."

"I tried to take the easy way, and it ruined everything."

"No. That was me."

She knew exactly what he was talking about. She swallowed. "What happened?"

His eyes were full of sadness as he told her. "All that time I spent asking everyone around me what I should do. I wanted everyone to decide for me. But when it came right down to it, when the future me told me not to save her, I decided to trust myself. But I still don't know if I made the right decision."

Her look told him she couldn't either.

"I caused the singularity, I caused Eddie's death, I ruined so much..."

"You can't accept responsibility for everything. We all made our own choices. And don't forget Eobard is responsible for messing things up in the first place."

Barry nodded. "But I have to shoulder some of the blame."

Her hand pressed against his chest. "We'll do that together."

If she thought his face couldn't get any sadder she was wrong, because it did. His arm, still around her shoulders, squeezed her tightly for a moment before he let go and moved to stand.

"Wait, you're leaving?" Her arms reached up for him even as he stood. He moved just far enough away so that she couldn't touch him and looked down at her, his face a mask of regret.

"I'm sorry, Iris, I can't do this. I know where it goes, or where it doesn't go, and when it's done there won't be anything left of our friendship and I can't lose that."

She could barely comprehend what he was saying. "You don't love me?"

"You know it's not that simple. But too much has happened, and the timeline has been altered beyond repair. One day you'll find someone you love as much as you loved Eddie."

She stood up, frustration starting to show on her face. "I already have."

"We're just not destined to be together like that. And I won't sacrifice our friendship for something that is destined to fail."

"Wait, you won't be with me because you're afraid we wouldn't make it?" Her voice was staring to rise.

His remained calm, his face implacable. "I know we can't. Give it some time, and you'll know it too." He picked up his case and strode to the door, only turning around when he was right in front of it.

"Iris...I will always be your friend. Just let that be enough for now. One day, you'll thank me for it." He smiled sadly at her and let himself out.

She stared at the door long after he'd passed through it, her brain furiously working on everything that had just been said, everything that had just happened. Finally she murmured the one thing that mattered most to her.

"There it is..." 

_Iris._

He'd said her name the way he used to. Every time since they'd entered this apartment. Even that last time. There was no way he didn't love her still.

Emotions were at war inside her now. All the pain and sadness, the anger at herself had finally been let out. But now she was torn between supreme frustration, giddiness and steely resolve.

She'd made mistakes before. They both had. She had lost everything, been broken down to nothing. But then she had built herself back up. She remembered facing down Black Eye, hopeless and pinning everything on one desperate plan. If she could do that, she could do this.

This time she had hope.

She  _was_  stronger, more resilient. And there was no way she was going down without a fight. Not now that she was sure beyond the shadow of a doubt who she wanted, not now that she was sure he wanted her too. Whatever was holding him back, it wasn't because he didn't love her. She never wanted to lose their friendship, but she was certain that if she won, she'd gain something far greater.

"Nice try, Barry Allen, but you're not getting away from me that easily."

And if Barry Allen had been present to witness the slow, confident smile curving her lips just then, he would have been a very terrified man.

* * *

 

The kiss described in this chapter is taken directly from this iconic comic book image: <http://www.comicvine.com/images/1300-3472051>  I own nothing, but that was a lot of fun! 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll get the next chapter out as soon as I am able! This is going to be fun! *evil laughter* Thanks for reading and commenting!


	23. Hot Pursuit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Iris makes it clear to Barry who she wants. Prepare for laughter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have a chapter! Thanks for reading, kudos and commenting! I loved the response I got from last chapter I'm glad it excited people so much to see it! You guys are the best! :) 
> 
> Very sorry i stopped responding to comments I wanted to to but life got me and I wanted to get this chapter out sooner rather than later. We have a bit more to go but we're making steady progress!

Barry didn't sleep much that night after he left Iris' apartment. He lay awake long into the night, staring at the ceiling, wondering what the hell just happened and when exactly his life became an absolute joke.

It started off as a normal night. Working a case, possible metahuman, laughing at Patty's joke, discussing things on the down low with Iris. Everything seemed fine. He'd been in a good mood and offered to walk Iris home, figuring it was for safety and company. Plus he'd wanted to ask her a question.

But the next thing he knew she had stopped walking, and the  _next_  next thing he knew he was being kissed by Iris West. And he was kissing her back.

Maybe once upon a time he would have enthusiastically kissed her and immediately begun shopping for wedding rings. Maybe he would have instantly declared his love for her after she did and been giddy with the idea that he could finally call Iris West his girlfriend. But that was a long time ago. That was before...everything, really.

Kissing Iris West. He'd long since laid to rest any dreams of that particular event happening again. Memories of their kiss in the timeline he reset, Iris telling him she hadn't wanted to top thinking about him, him telling her the same. All of it had been shut away in the back of his mind, hidden safely somewhere it couldn't torment him. The direct aftermath of resetting that timeline had been horrifically painful. His attempts to help her confess her feelings for him had backfired, and Wells (or, Eobard) had told him her feelings were probably so deeply buried that it took a life-threatening event to jar them loose. But he kept hoping. He kept waiting. And he kept getting shot down. Eventually, it became too difficult to wish for. He'd already waited too long, most of his life actually. It was obvious he'd missed his chance a long time ago.

It couldn't have been clearer that Iris loved Eddie. She'd told him that, when she told him he was making her the bad guy. Every time he had tried to get her to admit or acknowledge that she had stronger feelings for him she had resisted. Finally he'd just stopped trying. It hurt too much not to. Eddie had been rescued, and Barry had mostly resigned himself to the idea that he and Iris were not ever going to be together like that.

Somewhere on the periphery of his mind, while wrestling with the idea of saving his mom, while staring at Eobard through pipeline cell glass, while building a time travel ship, he'd recognized that Eddie and Iris had split and then were back together again. It was just one more straw on the pile weighing him down. One more thing to suffocate him. Even the rooftop conversation with Iris had just twisted the knife. She had laughed about the idea of hyphenating, she'd told him to do what was best for him and stop thinking about everyone else. But she hadn't denied it when he acknowledged that he'd waited too long, that she'd fallen in love with someone else. It hurt.

In a way he had been glad that he wouldn't remember any of this timeline when he saved his mother, glad that he wouldn't remember that he was her second choice. He just wanted it all to go away. He didn't want to remember Joe as his second father, Cisco and Caitlin, all those visits to his father in prison. So he'd been selfish, and he had taken Eobard's deal with the devil. And his friends had let him, to their credit.

But he couldn't let himself do it. Literally. His future-self had waved him off, without so much as an explanation. Not that he had time to give one anyway. And he had done nothing while the Reverse Flash killed his mother. Again. Just like he had done nothing about his feelings for Iris all those years. It was shameful to admit that for all his speed and crime-fighting, he was still that child who held everything in and felt powerless against the world. Maybe it was just better to stop wanting things.

Consciously or not somewhere in the time that he said goodbye to his mother, when he held her body after she drew her last breath, Barry had said goodbye to Iris as well. Not to her being his best friend, certainly not her in his life. But experiencing again Nora's death, this time in a much more personal and final way, had caused him to shut down those hopes and dreams. With his mother went all of them, buried in a cold place the he could never, for his own sanity, visit again.

But Eddie killed himself, and Barry's own actions had contributed to if not outright caused the singularity. Barry's focus for much of that time had been getting back to his own world at all. Only once he was back could he begin the long process of dealing with the aftermath of everything that had happened.

He still felt guilty about Eddie. And the singularity and all the destruction and loss of life. He still wasn't sure that he'd made the right decision trusting his future self, especially if this is how things worked out. But there was no going back this time. He spent every day choosing to be happy, even if it was difficult. He'd finally managed to get to a fairly good place. He and Iris were close and best friends again. Work was good and being the Flash was helping him give back to the city. Patty made him laugh, and he wondered if he should truly move on and begin a relationship.

And then Iris West had grabbed his jacket and kissed him within an inch of his life.

For several very long moments there he had kissed her back. It was so instinctual it was like breathing. It felt like he was back on the waterfront, kissing Iris with hope and deep yearning that he finally didn't have to hide anymore. It had felt like a dream. One that he'd had many times before he time-traveled.

Until he suddenly woke up, and the dream shattered. Fear had run straight up his spine, and he had run them into her apartment. He had worried Iris would want him to fill the gap Eddie had left, but he had been lulled into thinking it wouldn't happen. And he couldn't do it. He couldn't be the one she settled for. The thought was unbearable.

He hadn't expected her to tell him everything she had. He hadn't realized that she had been shouldering such a heavy burden. He had never even thought of the idea that she had taken Eddie back out of respect for the man's feelings, all the while knowing that it would be rewritten. He had been horrified that she'd been dealing with so much pain and self-blame. Sitting with her on the couch, he understood that Iris had been going through just as much as him. And he felt like he had caused much of it one way or another. He would take it away if he could.

It was truly tempting to simply acknowledge her words as truth. She had chosen him over Eddie and expected a far different outcome. Hadn't they all.

But even as he sat with his arm around her, her head on his shoulder, he couldn't banish from his mind the future newspaper Gideon had shown him. He couldn't forget that he and Iris didn't really have a future as a couple anymore. He'd seen the proof. Everything had been reset. Too much had happened. And if he was honest with himself, he was afraid. Afraid to believe that Iris had really chosen him over Eddie. Afraid to unearth those thoughts and dreams and feelings again. Afraid of the pain they ultimately caused.

So he made a decision right there, to preserve the friendship and cut off any possibility of this farce progressing any further. He was saving them both a world of pain in the long run. He was sure he'd made the right decision, and he was positive that in time Iris would realize it too. For now, he'd go about his life as if nothing had happened. He could spare Iris any further embarrassment or awkwardness that way. They could go back to normal. It was going to be fine.

* * *

 Later that morning he blundered into work with far less than a full eight hours of sleep on board. Even his second cup of coffee didn't do much to help. He ran into Joe coming off the elevator. Joe did a double take from the file he was holding.

"You okay? You look like you didn't sleep much."

"I'm fine, just a lot on my mind." Barry gave a weak smile to cover his fatigue. "I'm going to head up and run some tests on that death last night; let me know if anything comes up."

Joe gave him a considering look, but seemed to buy it. "Will do."

Barry loped up the stairs and settled into his lab, putting his jacket and bag in his locker and going through the latest paperwork on his desk. He was headed back down the stairs with a report for Captain Singh when he bumped into Patty at the bottom. "Hey, Patty do you have a moment?"

She smiled at him, arms full of files as well. "Sure. What's up?"

Barry smiled back and tried to quell the butterflies in his stomach. He'd thought this through and had come to the conclusion that the faster he showed he had moved on the faster Iris would realize it was for the best. He'd been considering it anyway. Time to do it. He took a deep breath.

"Well, I was wondering if maybe you—" a Jitters coffee cup, complete with lid and enticing aroma, suddenly blocked his view. It was so close he could see the tiny specks of sugar on the paper holder wrapped around it. He could see the individual dye-stained fibers of the paper.

"Hey, Barry! Brought your favorite, figured you might need a boost this morning!" Iris was right next to him, holding the cup in his face, bright cheery voice and smile to match.

Completely nonplussed, he stared at her. She met his gaze, eyes bright and determined. There was a beat of silence. Uh, oh.

He slowly reached up and took the coffee cup out of her hand and his face, meeting her eyes briefly to confirm what he suspected. Oh yeah. Confirmed.

"Thanks, Iris that's sweet." She stared at him steadily, raising her eyebrows. He took a careful sip to appease her, feeling a slight unease creep up his spine. Her smile got wider, if that was even possible. It was only then that he managed to return his gaze to the original recipient, who was standing watching the two of them. Patty had an indescribable look on her face. Not only had the entire interaction she just witnessed bordered on rudeness or at least a serious lack of social graces, something else had happened as well but she couldn't identify it. She gave Barry a questioning look and opened her mouth, probably to prompt Barry into repeating his original question.

But Iris was too quick for both of them. "Bear, can I talk to you? It's important." She already had a hand on his arm, ready to draw him away. It was only for sheer politeness' sake that she didn't pull him away immediately.

Barry only hesitated a second. The moment was ruined anyway, and he couldn't do it with Iris here. "Sure, okay. I'll talk to you later, Patty, okay?"

Disappointment was clear in her voice. "Sure, no problem."

Iris applied a steady pressure on Barry's arm all the way up the stairs to his lab, going at a faster pace than he was. He allowed her to pull him along until they reached his desk. He slapped the undelivered report back on the desk, pushed his chair out of the way, put the coffee cup down and turned to face Iris, arms crossed and feeling somewhat annoyed. She still had her winning smile on, which made it more difficult but he managed. "Don't think I don't know what you just did there."

Her smile was completely innocent, but she wasn't fooling anyone. He'd seen that look for years. "Whaat? I just brought you some coffee. Isn't that what friends do?"

His eyes narrowed. "You knew I was going to ask Patty out and you cut me off on purpose."

Her too-innocent smile faded and was replaced with a genuine concerned one. "Barry, there is way too much unresolved between us. Believe me you don't want to force another relationship in the middle of it all. It doesn't help."

"Force?" His voice was high and thin.

Her look was almost apologetic now. "Yes. Force. I know you, Barry, and you looked like you were forcing yourself to ask. Don't do it. The very last thing  _any_  of us needs right now is another ridiculous love triangle."

Barry ran a hand down his face, hissing his breath out slowly. He wanted to argue with her, he really did. But she made sense. He avoided the complete lack of disappointment he felt at not being able to ask Patty out and focused on the irritation he was feeling that Iris wasn't going to just let this alone. "Fine. Now explain to me what you're doing. Because it seems to me that you are now determined to make me as miserable as possible. What is this, revenge?"

Her smile was indulgent. "No. No revenge."

"Then what? Why do you keep pushing for this? Why can't you just leave it alone?" he realized his voice was rising and quickly lowered it.

Iris breathed out a breath too. "I can't leave this alone, Bear, because I love you. And I think you still love me too. And the way we are happiest is with each other. The sooner you realize it, the happier we'll be." She hid her anxiety behind a soft smile as she watched the expressions flit across his face. It was almost heartbreaking to see the fear back, just like the night before, to see him try to hide it and cover it with anger and frustration. He focused on a point on the floor for a moment, pulling words together before he finally spoke.

"Look, Iris...I understand what you're going through. I just think that you're acting impulsively right now. I don't think you've thought this through. I'm not in the same place you are anymore. This will only end badly. Let's just move on as best friends. It's better that way..." he stuttered into silence.

It was a miracle that he managed to get even those words out, considering she didn't even seem to be listening to him anymore. The moment he uttered her name a happy sigh emerged from her lips. Her eyes lit up with purpose and determination. He could tell by the time he stopped talking that she wasn't going to heed his advice one tiny bit. He could tell simply by the expression on her face, but the other clue was her slow advance on him. They weren't standing far apart to start with, but she began moving closer with small and determined steps. She was moving far into his personal space, which had never been an issue before with them, but now it felt very different. She looked intent and almost...predatory? He couldn't help moving backward a few steps but didn't have any more space to retreat as he felt the desk edge against the backs of his legs. And she just kept moving forward.

"You're not in the same place as me? Are you sure?" Her voice was low and soft. Barry couldn't decide if she meant physically or emotionally and chose not to answer at all. He watched her with apprehensive wide eyes. She was almost pressed against his chest now, and he was leaning back slightly to avoid real contact. But it felt like real contact even if they weren't actually touching. The air was humming with electricity and static. He was aware of every empty centimeter between them. She kept talking. "It's hard to believe you when everything else about you says otherwise." Barry gulped. Her eyes moved to his lips. "Like how you're looking at my lips right now..." her gaze flicked back up to meet his, playful and sure.

And he was. Dammit he was! He was looking at her lips too. He hadn't even realized it. She moved even closer. "And how you say my name..."

There was a soft thud as Barry finally leaned back too far to keep his balance and sat abruptly on the top of his desk. His sudden reduction in height left them more or less eye to eye. Iris grinned, delighted. "Oh I like this; we're almost on the same level now!"

Barry finally found his voice to protest. "Iris...please..." He actually seemed afraid now. His eyes were pleading, and he looked very upset.

However tempted she was to interpret his words otherwise, she knew what he was really saying. She took pity on him. She didn't back away, but her voice lost its soft sultry quality and was replaced by an honest one. "I'll stop for the moment if you give me an honest answer about one thing, Barry." His lifted eyebrows served as a nonverbal question. Obviously he hadn't found his entire voice. He still looked slightly terrified. She leaned closer. "Why did you choose this particular tie, today of all days?" Her fingers walked up his chest to tap the tie he was wearing, partially hidden by his sweater.

It was the bowtie she'd given him for the party. He hadn't put any major thought into the choice, really. It matched his sweater well and reminded him of his other job. Except that he had never worn a bowtie to work before, and looking at it objectively it really was suspect that he would choose to wear one for the first time ever after last night, and it would be the one she gave him...

His gaze flew up to meet hers, and in his confusion and distress it was completely unguarded. She could read him like a book. He had no idea why he'd chosen to wear that tie today. It had been a subconscious process. That meant that he still loved her, but he wasn't ready to admit it again. Yet. He still loved her, but he was afraid of something.

It was less than she'd hoped for, but far more than she needed. She could be patient. And she wasn't giving up. She smiled at him gently. "That tie means something, Barry. Maybe you should give it some thought." She tapped it one more time for emphasis and backed up a step.

Barry began to shake his head and opened his mouth, and she knew it was going to be some transparent denial. They were both spared it by Joe's voice and subsequent entrance.

"Hey Barry, found anything—what's going on?" Joe's files might as well have been invisible, considering he lost all thoughts of them once he spotted Barry sitting on his desk, Iris standing barely a step back. Quite disturbed, his eyes flicked back and forth between the two. Iris gave him a serene smile. Barry considered standing up but decided to stay where he was. Iris hadn't moved far enough away for him to stand up yet and he really didn't trust her to do so right now.

"Not much, Dad. Barry and I were just talking."

"About what?" He had his suspicious cop voice in overdrive, the one they'd heard a lot in their teenage years. Barry gulped.

"About dinner and movie night tonight." She turned to Barry. "Right, Bear?"

"Yeah, dinner. Movie." Barry nodded vigorously. If Joe was there it would be okay. He highly doubted Iris would try anything with her Dad in the room. Well, seventy-five percent sure. Iris gave him an approving nod, her eyes running up and down in an appreciative way. Okay seventy.

Joe would have crossed his arms but his hands were still full of files so he settled for a skeptical head tilt. "And what did you decide?"

"We decided pizza and were just discussing the movie when you came in. Ideas?" Iris looked cool as a cucumber, and Barry had to admire how quickly she turned the conversation back on her father.

Joe gave them both a considering glance. "We can decide tonight. Barry needs to get to work on the case from last night."

Iris smiled and grabbed her bag. "Sounds good, I better get to work. See you tonight Bear." She thought of giving him a hug but decided against it. He looked rattled enough, poor baby. But she did hug her dad and start to head out the door. The ruckus caused by Barry accidentally tipping over the coffee she'd brought him as he got off his desk made her turn around.

In the space it took her to turn, Barry had righted the cup and quickly saved his papers from coffee stains, then cleaned up the spill and disposed of the napkins in the trash. All using his super speed. He still looked wary as he sent her a quick glance before she left again, but she just smiled reassuringly at him before she actually headed out the door.

On the way down the stairs she allowed her smile to become indecently smug as she took note of the fact that Barry could have used his super speed at any time to remove himself from her advances. He hadn't. This morning counted as a success. Score one for Iris.

She headed to work with jaunty steps and sparkling eyes.

* * *

 Joe suggested Lethal Weapon for the movie that night. Barry honestly couldn't decide if that was supposed to mean anything or not. He settled for not and aimed for as normal as possible.

But normal wasn't really possible when he was sitting between Iris and Joe, one casting suspicious glances and the other making sure she reached into the popcorn bucket at the same time as him. She was pressed up against his side, which was a bit closer than normal. He didn't dare mention it out loud; drawing attention to it could be disastrous with Joe present. He reached for more popcorn after swearing to himself he wouldn't and sure enough, Iris reached in too. Her fingers expertly intertwined with his, gently rubbing his buttery skin with hers. He set his jaw and pulled his hand out, deciding his body was going to have to deal with fewer calories tonight. Iris pulled out a fluffy kernel and popped it into her mouth, then licked her fingers. He realized he'd missed the last several minutes of the movie and turned away from her finally, but not before he saw her lips curve in a smile. He stared at the movie with furrowed brow, ignoring his stomach. He waited for Joe to go get another beer so he could warn her off but Joe must have read his mind because he stayed put.

By the time the movie was over (During the last twenty minutes Iris wrapped her arms around one of his and clung close, claiming she was cold. She refused the blanket he offered to get her.) Barry was a wreck. Long ago he would have been overjoyed at these developments. Now he was a mass of knots and tension, half of which he couldn't even explain well. He felt ill and exhausted. He stood up to head for bed. Iris lightly touched his arm. Reluctantly he met her gaze, but when he did there was no predatory look, no subterfuge. She looked very concerned. "You okay, Bear?"

He looked into her eyes and could see the true concern there. Whatever she was doing, she did think it should make him happier. He was very sorry that it didn't seem to be working. "I'm fine. I just need some sleep."

She hesitated and then gave him a hug. Their classic friend hug that they'd been giving each other forever. His shoulders drooped as he admitted defeat and hugged her back, greedily absorbing her warmth and caring. He closed his eyes. He never wanted to lose this. If he lost Iris in every way, it would ruin him. He breathed in her floral scent, relishing it and the comfort it gave. He could not lose this.

The look Iris gave him was almost apologetic when she let go. His hopes rose. Maybe she had realized this wasn't going to work. Maybe they could go back to normal now. He'd been determined to wait her out but he'd expected more of a fight than this.

Then she gave him one more hug, this time with her arms around his neck. Her lips just brushed his ear. "I love you." The words were whispered, barely breathed so only he could hear. His gut clenched in knots, despite the soft understanding smile she gave him as she pulled away. He waited until she'd hugged her dad and headed out the front door before moving to the stairs himself.

Joe blocked his way. Barry gave him a questioning look. Joe aimed a pointed look at the couch they had all just vacated and gave Barry his own look. "You wanna explain to me what's going on between you two?"

Barry shook his head. "Nothing. It's nothing."

Joe pinned him down with a look. "Talk, Barry. Don't lie to me."

Barry sighed. "It's nothing. Just that Iris says she loves me now. But I'm past that and I just want to be friends and she's trying to change my mind. Nothing's going to happen, don't worry. I'll wait her out until she realizes this is for the best. It's fine."

Joe stared at him. "Have. You. Lost. Your. Mind?!"

Barry stared back. "What?"

Joe just shook his head a moment, beyond words. Finally he could string some together. "Barry. You have been in love with Iris as long as I've known you. You spent all last year tied up in knots because she was dating Eddie. I told you she had feelings for you and she didn't know it, now she knows it and you're running away? Are you crazy?"

Barry shook his head. "It's not the same anymore. Eddie's dead. I don't know if she really wants me or just someone. I—it's better we stay friends. I need to preserve our friendship."

"That doesn't make sense, Barry! You can't possibly have just stopped being in love with Iris! You have what you always wanted standing right in front of you and she loves you! She always has. This is your shot. Why won't you take it?"

Barry heaved a sigh. He was exhausted. He was too tired to explain about Gideon and the newspaper, his mother, being second choice, fear, and the emotions that at this moment threatened to break free. All he knew was that he wanted to curl up in his bed and forget the world. "It's too late, Joe. It's just too late." He moved past Joe and sped up the stairs.

Joe stared after him and debated following. He decided against it and pulled out his phone instead. He sent a text to Iris.

**Barry just told me what's going on.**

Her reply was quick and short: **Sorry. I'm not going to stop.**

He read it and sighed before sending his reply. He only wished he could see the look on her face.

**I wasn't going to tell you to stop. What I can do to help?**

Her reply took a bit longer this time, and he swallowed a chuckle just imagining her face. Her actual reply made him chuckle even more. He headed into the kitchen to turn off lights for the night and found himself looking at the room instead.

For years, Barry had refused to eat many vegetables. Iris loved most of them. Even then, Joe and Iris had agreed Barry sometimes didn't know what was best for him. When they were fifteen, Iris had made zucchini brownies and fed them to Barry. He ate half a pan before Iris told him what was in them. Once he knew he'd tried to stop eating them but eventually admitted defeat and ate them anyway. Iris had declared herself victorious at knowing what was good for Barry, whether he agreed or not.

After all the craziness of the past year and the ups and downs, it was nice to know his baby girl hadn't lost her touch. In fact, she seemed to have taken a great leap forward.

* * *

 The next day when Iris arrived at S.T.A.R. Labs after work nearly everyone was there. Ronnie and Caitlin were talking in a side room, comparing notes over a computer screen. Joe and Martin were chatting in the main cortex. Barry and Cisco were working together in Cisco's workshop. She moved quickly to her dad's side, returning Caitlin's wave and Martin's greeting. Her dad hugged her as usual. "Hey Dad, anything new?"

Joe chuckled. "Depends what you're asking about." He caught her look and quickly moved on. "Nothing on the recent case. Barry and Cisco did some more work on it today; they might have something for us." He and Iris moved away a few more steps as Martin went to join Caitlin and Ronne. Joe spoke in a lower tone. "Barry's been really quiet today and he hasn't said much about any of it. Have you seen him yet today?"

"Not yet. I figured I'd give him a small breather before I move in again. I sent him some texts instead." She gave her dad a sly wink. At his raised eyebrow she quickly continued. "Nothing terrible! Just told him I was thinking about him today...is he wearing that green sweater he looks so cute in? Does he want to meet for lunch? He never answered."

He laughed, shaking his head. "He had lunch with me. No wonder he kept checking his phone...he kept putting it in his coat like he was done and then checking it a few minutes later!" Joe laughed harder as he put it together. "He didn't want to read them but he couldn't stop himself! He looked so frazzled...poor boy doesn't know what hit him."

"No he doesn't. Poor Bear." Iris sounded almost sorry for him. Almost. Joe shook his head, still smiling. He had no idea why Barry was stubbornly resisting the inevitable, not to mention why he would in the first place. But Barry had looked pretty tired again today, and he wondered how much of the night Barry had been awake convincing himself of all the reasons he and Iris shouldn't be together. It hurt to watch Barry hurt, but it made Joe feel better to see his daughter's quiet determination. Barry needed her more than he knew, and in more ways than he realized.

Joe felt a little bad for plotting against him, but it truly was in everyone's best interest. "How long do you think before he cracks?"

"If I keep the pressure on, maybe less than a week? If I take it slower, two. I hope." Iris was trying to decide which approach to take. She didn't actually want to damage Barry after all, she did love him. But she wasn't going to give up. She wanted Barry and she was sure he wanted her. They belonged together. It was helpful to know that while her texts might be upsetting, something in Barry made him keep looking at them. That was a good sign. Iris heaved a sigh, wondering if this made her someone guilty of harassment or just a woman in love.

"You can do this, baby. You two belong together, always have."

Her father's unknowing echo of her own thoughts made her feel better about her diabolical plans. She gave him a small smile. "Thanks, Dad." She raised her fist, and he bumped it.

The moment was broken as Cisco bounded into the room. "Okay! This is what we got!"

Iris noted Barry enter the room and survey it quickly before moving to a far corner and crossing his arms. She made sure to catch his eye and send him a winning smile before he purposely gave his focus to Cisco and did not look over again.

Cisco had plugged in a flash drive and was now pointing at the largest screen. "This was not Black Eye, people."

Joe put up a hand. "Wait. It's not?" All eyes went to Cisco, who pointed at Barry.

Barry shook his head, arms still crossed. "Nope. The injuries look similar, but I compared the residue with the lab reports from the guy Iris went up against and they don't match. There was nothing left over when Black Eye unraveled atoms. Here, I found a few traces of metal and a fragment buried in the tissue. It doesn't match up."

Martin was listening carefully. "So what are we looking for, here? Is this just some bizarre ritual killing? Not a metahuman?"

Cisco shrugged. "We're not sure yet. We'll keep digging until we have an answer."

"There was one more thing." Barry walked to the front of the cortex, taking the slightly longer way around to avoid Joe and Iris, who couldn't help smirking at each other. Barry brought up another image, this time photos he had taken of the crime scene. "There were blood spatters here, nearby the body, and one on his clothes."

Joe picked up the thread. "Wait, that is weird, there were no spatters on the Black Eye victim at all and I remember thinking that was wrong. Injury that the guy had, there should have been plenty." Barry was nodding in agreement. Iris was taking notes.

Cisco was looking at Barry. "Can you get me a few samples of the trace metals you found? Maybe the fragment?" Barry nodded. Cisco looked to Martin. "When he does, we should go over them together. Maybe we can find something else."

"Something Barry Allen, the forensics expert couldn't find?" Martin's voice was dry as usual.

"Something weird and out of the ordinary science-wise that he might not see." Cisco gave him an exasperated look.

Martin smiled. "Happy to. We should practice some more too, you're almost ready for a test run in the field." He glanced Ronnie's way, who nodded in agreement.

Cisco's apprehensiveness was clear as he nodded on agreement. "Yeah. Definitely."

The group broke up and went their separate ways. Cisco had pulled out his phone and was debating whether he should text Laurel or just call her. Calling was more inviting. Maybe she could soothe his nerves over the idea of going out in the field. To fight crime. In a costume he'd almost completed. With powers he was just figuring out how to use. Yeah, he wanted to call Laurel. He had his finger on her number and was about to dial when he glanced up and noted that Barry and Iris were still in the room. Everyone else had left, though Joe was just barely leaving at a slow pace.

Something about Barry's posture made Cisco leave off dialing and pause. Barry was stiff as a board, his arms crossed and his fingers gripping his upper arms with more pressure than needed. He actually looked upset. But Iris didn't. As Cisco watched, Iris moved close to him and rose up on her toes to murmur something Cisco couldn't hear. Barry definitely heard it, and if anything his face got more distressed. Still staring into his eyes, Iris placed a hand on one of Barry's still on his arm, her fingers sliding over his. Barry looked down at her, face full of sadness, and it was only because their hands were on the arm facing Cisco that he could see Barry's fingers relax slightly, allowing hers to burrow underneath and wrap around his, his thumb brushing over hers gently. Barry's face and body were massively contradictory right now.

Cisco had long ago stopped trying to decipher the oddness that was Barry and Iris and their touchy-feely physicality that was just normal to them. It was just how they were. But this felt very different, especially since Barry looked utterly miserable but still wasn't moving away. In fact at this moment he was almost leaning toward her and then realized it and quickly straightened up again. It was like he had to constantly restrain himself consciously. Iris now looked sad as well, and she had that yearning face she'd been giving Barry for weeks now...wait that was usually when Barry  _wasn't_  looking...it was almost like...

"Oh my God!" The words just popped out with Cisco's surprise as he put it together. It was providence that an alarm went off at the same time, making it almost seem as if that was what Cisco was reacting to. Barry and Iris sprang apart as the moment was broken by both sounds.

Barry zipped to the main console and checked the monitor. "Motion sensor alarm in the room we train in?" He looked to Cisco.

Cisco threw up his hands helplessly. "It keeps going off at random odd times and I never find anything when I check it out! I think it's a bug in the system! I've stopped running back and forth to investigate."

Barry stared at him a moment. "Maybe you're not fast enough." Without another word, he sped out of the cortex and down the hallway. Iris and Cisco shared worried looks and quickly followed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forgot to mention that the idea of the bow tie Iris gave Barry came from the comics as well. :)
> 
> And I do hope that Iris' pursuit is getting laughs more than anything else. It's meant for comedy, not as a trigger for harassment or anything. :)
> 
> I also hope I've made it clear enough what exactly Barry is thinking right now. It almost seems out of character to imagine him doing anything but jump for joy at the idea of being with Iris, lol. But I don't find it impossible that after all the events that went down in the last half of Season 1 Barry would actually be more afraid of getting hurt. Looks like I inadvertently echoed the show again with what they're doing for Season 2, since I planned this out long ago lol. Poor Barry. He's definitely running scared here. We'll get into it a bit more next chapter...


	24. Tangled Together Every Way

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bugs, ribs, and chili on the menu.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Tuesday! Have a chapter before the midseason finale tonight! :) Hope you enjoy it!
> 
> Thanks for reading and commenting you guys keep me going! I'll try to answer some comments soon there have been some great ones. :)

 

 

Barry was already tense just having Iris in the main cortex, but he managed to keep himself together since the rest of the group was present. But as they all began to filter out and Iris moved up to him, he knew he was in for another uncomfortable episode. He crossed his arms, gripping each arm tightly to hold himself together. Iris looked beautiful, as always, and the way her eyes roamed over his sweater made him remember her texts earlier that day. He could feel the blood rushing up his neck to his face just thinking about them. He'd tried very hard not to acknowledge them, but he could not stop the pleased feeling that swept him every time he read them. Now he was like an addict, trying not to read them but buckling quickly and doing it anyway.

This was going to be a much harder fight than he'd imagined.

Iris was already smiling at him. He'd think it was fake and permanently attached to her face except for the twinkle in her eye that accompanied it. Everything about her was genuine. He hadn't seen that sparkle in a long time...

"You get my texts today? You never answered." He could see the laughter lurking behind her eyes and knew she'd talked to Joe. That traitor. He spared a moment to give Joe's retreating back a quick glare.

"I got them." His attempt to make his face impassive was an outright failure, he knew it. His hands clenched his arms tighter.

Iris stepped closer. "You ready to go to lunch with me tomorrow?

Barry could see the hope in her eyes, and for one crazy moment he wanted to say yes just to make her happy. All he ever wanted was for her to be happy. But even as he tried to open his mouth, his throat closed tight and he simply could not say yes. It would be like agreeing to your own execution, and who would agree to that? He felt trapped and miserable, scared beyond any rational range. But now he was making Iris unhappy too, and that made everything much worse.

His hands tightened even more on his arms, and his misery must have clearly showed on his face because Iris moved even closer and put a hand over one of his. She rose on her toes to get close to his face, staring right into his eyes with an earnest comfort. They alone heard her murmured words.

"It's okay, Bear. I'll wait. You're worth waiting for."

It broke him, jagged pieces of what used to be his whole self grinding against each other, breaking him down. He couldn't make himself take what he wanted. He couldn't make her happy, and the idea that she might waste years of her life waiting and hoping and hurting just as he had filled him with a deep sadness that poured out of him.

Her face changed as she recognized it, realizing that this was far more complex and difficult than either had imagined, and that there was no clear answer. She yearned for him. For him to be happy. For them to be happy together, and it in turn showed on her face.

As they always had growing up, they sought comfort in each other. He was barely aware that his fingers had relaxed and allowed hers to wrap around them, barely aware that his thumb was gently rubbing hers in an attempt to give reassurance. It just felt natural. They were so wrapped up in each other's emotions that neither realized the outside world existed until Cisco and an alarm intruded.

Barry didn't accept the possibility that the motion detector was malfunctioning. Something else had to be going on, and hopefully he was faster than whatever was setting it off.

In less than a second he was standing in the doorway to their training room. The same one he and Cisco had practiced in. The concrete floor was still broken up, though they'd fixed it as well as they could, shifting chunks of concrete and pushing them as flat as possible. The wall still bore its cracks. Barry surveyed the barely illuminated space. Everything was still.

He zipped to the corner that had the motion sensor and scanned the immediate area, slowly tracing iron support beams on the ceiling, scanning the walls. Nothing. He was about to sweep the entire room when a tiny sound caught his ears. A shimmy, a jingling whisper, and then nothing again. He froze in place, waiting to hear it again so he could pinpoint its location better.

Footsteps intruded instead. Cisco and Iris had made it to the doorway, each gasping for breath. Cisco opened his mouth to speak but Barry raised a hand, asking for silence. Iris understood immediately and put a hand on Cisco's arm to hold him in place. Everyone went still.

A good thirty seconds passed. Cisco was showing signs of wanting to speak and Barry was sure he would have left by now. But he was also sure he'd heard something. So they continued to wait.

Finally, after another full minute, they all heard it. All heads turned to the ceiling as the sound faded again.

"What is that?" Cisco hissed across the room in a hushed whisper.

Barry stopped straining his eyes for something he couldn't see and raised his arms. "Time to find out." He rapidly rotated his arms, creating dual whirlwinds, and aimed them at the general area the sound had come from.

A glint of reflection blew off one of the iron beams, a tiny insect-sized blur of motion that took flight the moment it was dislodged. It looked almost like a moth, but it was too dull and grey. And metallic.

"Is that a bee?!" Cisco cried in alarm as Barry set off in pursuit. Not only did he need to blow off some steam and get a good run in, but the thing had piqued his interest. It didn't look like any bug Barry had ever seen, and Barry had paid attention in science class and knew quite a few. He started running, following its flight across the ceiling, and that's when his interest hit an all-time high.

The thing was fast. Faster than any bug he'd ever studied or chased. It moved with precision and purpose, not the lazy wandering trajectory most bugs performed. It shot across the room, gaining speed with Barry in hot pursuit. The sheer speed of the chase made both Cisco and Iris gasp as they realized this was no ordinary bug.

By the time the thing had made it to the other side of the very large room, Barry had matched its speed. He hit the wall and raced straight up it, hand out to snatch it out of the air.

But the thing changed course without a pause, leaving Barry to correct his own and make his way back down the wall before he collided with the ceiling. He hit the ground, kneeling with one knee and tracked the thing as it made its way back across the ceiling to the other side of the room. Still holding it with his gaze, he yanked his sweater off and threw it to the ground. He really needed his suit right now it would help with the drag but he didn't want to lose this thing. It moved fast enough that even a second to change could result in losing track of it. He blew out a breath and began the chase again. Cisco and Iris watched from the doorway still, trying to stay out of the way.

This time Barry almost had it before it slipped between his fingers. He made a quick wind funnel as it moved away from him, hoping to blow it off course and give himself another moment to catch it. The wind slapped it against the concrete wall briefly. Barry saw the thing slow as it tried to recover and then regain speed. But that gave him a few precious seconds to catch up a bit more. He trailed it to the back wall, running up it and ready to slap his hand on it to trap it between him and the wall. He was seconds away from victory.

Cisco felt much better once he realized this thing wasn't a bee. In fact, it was kind of interesting. He couldn't wait for Barry to catch it so he could study it more. He watched as Barry blew the thing against the wall and began to close the gap. He could tell Barry almost had it. The back wall was closer to the door than either end, so Cisco got a better look at it as it zipped past him and toward it, Barry right on its heels. He squinted at it a moment. Had someone turned more lights on? The thing was glimmering more, reflecting more light now. Or was it  _producing_  it? He was staring so intently it took his ears a moment to catch up.

Where before the bug's flight had been nearly soundless with just a whisper of sound, now there was a metallic clicking sound that joined it. Completely distracted, Cisco glanced at Iris as he searched his memory. He'd heard that sound before, but it was different. Where had he heard that before? Iris caught his glance and was immediately aware that something wasn't right.

Barry was up the wall and running down it, almost on top of the bug. It wavered and flitted in different directions, almost confused now, far different than its earlier flight. Barry made his way down the wall to the floor and slapped his hand on the wall, trapping the bug in his cupped palm. "Gotcha."

And Cisco remembered where he'd heard that sound before.

In two steps he was into the room. "Barry, don't!"

His arms were stretched out before he knew it, palms already facing out. The sonic waves caught Barry full-on and threw him backwards, spinning into the air. He hit one of the support pillars hard and slid to the floor, gasping in pain. Cisco moved closer as Iris rushed to Barry's side.

"What is wrong with you Cisco?" Iris checked Barry's face to gauge his pain level, but Barry was staring at the wall. So was Cisco. She did the same.

It was lucky that the breeze created by Barry's hand had pushed the bug back toward the wall and away from his hand, because now the bug appeared to be stuck to it. But that wasn't the real problem. The bug's wings were now fluttering frantically, speeding up faster than physically possible. Its wings became a blur, and blue sparks of light and lightning began to form in the space between them. Darkness surrounded the bug, growing apace with the blue light. The trio watched, frozen in place.

With a sudden crackling sound the entire bug, complete with its cocoon of darkness and blue light, disappeared. It took a large chunk of wall the size of a golf ball with it.

All three witnesses stared in shock.

"What was  _that_?" Barry's voice echoed all their thoughts. They all stared at the spot another moment.

Barry looked down at his hand as if checking to make sure it was still there. Iris was kneeling beside him with a hand on his shoulder, also realizing how close Barry had come to disaster. Cisco was staring at the wall, connecting the dots in his head. Finally he looked down at the other two.

"That was the sound in my dream. I knew it couldn't be a good thing."

Barry started to get up but only made it a few inches before he sat back again, wrapping a hand around his ribcage and groaning in pain. "Might've cracked a rib." Iris made a sympathetic sound and put her arm under one of his to help lever him to his feet. He stood gingerly, realizing how wobbly he felt all over. His legs felt like jello and everything else felt wrong. It was like a bad phasing attempt. He leaned on Iris more than he wanted to, letting her hold him up for now.

Cisco was watching with concern and guilt. "I'm sorry man, it was instinct. Everything happened too fast I didn't have time to think—" Barry was already shaking his head.

"You followed your instincts and saved a chunk of my hand. You did fine." He gave Cisco a wan grin. "Guess you were right about a bug in the system."

Cisco laughed slightly. "Not the bug I was picturing."

Iris was watching Barry try to hold his ribcage. "We should wrap that rib up, Barry it'll feel better."

Barry nodded. "Right. The bandages are in the med bay. I'll just run and—" he took a step, ready to zip out of the room and back again while ignoring the pain, but that was as far as he got. Just a regular step. He tried again. Nothing. He looked up at Cisco and then to Iris as the reality hit him. "My speed is gone."

* * *

 "Gone?!" Cisco's yelp echoed through the cavernous room. "How can it be gone?!"

"Well I don't think it's gone, more like disrupted. Your sonic blast disrupted my speed." Barry was looking at Cisco with amazement and some trepidation. "I think your sonic waves affected my body on a cellular level, and I think it's like they're hyperactive now, vibrating on the wrong frequency. No wonder I feel wobbly."

Both Cisco and Iris were now speechless. Finally Iris spoke first. "Do you think it's permanent?"

Barry did some internal assessment. "I don't think so. I just need to wait for it to wear off. I think. No idea how long that's going to last." He looked at Cisco, who now looked horrified. "I'm really glad we're on the same side, Cisco."

A reluctant laugh broke out as Cisco thought about it. "Yeah. Real glad." He moved to Barry's other side to provide support and the three of them headed to the med bay the slow way.

Once they made it there Cisco suggested they call Caitlin. Barry agreed, suddenly reminded of the awkwardness between him and Iris. But Iris caught his nervous glance and rolled her eyes as Barry gingerly sat on the medical bed.

"There is no reason to disturb Caitlin and drag her all the way back here for a cracked rib. There's nothing she could do but wrap it up and wait for you to heal, Barry, and that won't take longer than an hour or two anyway. I can do that just as easily."

Cisco nodded. "She's right, man." Barry sighed in resignation. Cisco fidgeted a moment, then suddenly decided to go retrieve Barry's sweater and analyze the area where the bug had disappeared. Barry watched him suspiciously as the other man headed out of the room and down the hall. He looked to Iris.

"Did you tell him?"

She was already digging out bandages to wrap his ribs. "Nope. Not a word." Having chosen several, she turned his way again and placed them on the bedside table. She stood on front of him while he sat, fighting a smile as she remembered him sitting on his desk the day before. "So here we are again."

Barry's eyes narrowed but he said nothing. They just looked at each other for a moment. Iris gave him an expectant look, raising her eyebrows. "Well?"

Barry could feel their competitive natures rising. It was always this way. Bowling, card games, Monopoly. They couldn't help themselves. She could play so dirty, but he'd always known it. For the first time since she'd kissed him, fear wasn't the first thing he felt. She wanted to play? He knew how to take her on. He'd been doing it their whole lives. He gave her the blankest stare he could muster. "Well what?"

The twinkle in her eyes was back as she took in his words and realized he wasn't terrified at the moment. Excellent. This Barry she knew inside and out. This Barry she had been hoping to see. "Well, I'm sure you don't want your ribs wrapped up tight with a shirt under them." Having opened with an aggressive move, she now waited.

Barry made sure he didn't twitch. "Really? I thought that would be fine. I heal fast anyway it's not like it'll be there long." He raised his arms slightly to show he was ready to be wrapped. "Go ahead."

He could tell by the way her face changed that she was impressed with his move but was ready to give as good as she got. He faced her, unblinking. Steady...

"Even if it's just a few hours you'll have wrinkles pressed into your skin and that never feels good. You won't like that." She raised her hands, pointing two fingers at him and moving them out in an arched shape, indicating that he should take his shirt off.

He ignored it. If she wasn't going to say it outright he could pretend she meant something else. He kept his arms out and nodded at the bandages on the table. "I can handle it. Can you hurry? It's starting to hurt to hold my arms like this."

She crossed her arms. "There is no way I'm going to give you substandard care, Barry Allen. I'd never hear the end of it from Caitlin."

She waited. He put his arms down, thinking furiously, but she'd stymied him with that one and she knew it. She gave him a victorious smile. "Take it off."

He was down but he wasn't beaten yet. Barry retained his unflustered look to the best of his ability. It was a near thing. "I can wait for Cisco to come back. He can do it." He leaned back on his hands slightly to look casual but that was overplaying it a bit, and the wince and small grunt of pain put a chink in his armor. Dammit. Too cocky, Allen.

Iris moved in for the kill. "You'll feel better once it's wrapped, stop being a baby. I'm your best friend I can help patch you up. Come on, you're in pain let me help." She went for a somewhat forlorn look at the idea that he wouldn't let her care for him. Wait for it...

Success.

Barry's look was quite perturbed, either from losing or at the idea of taking his shirt off in front of her. Probably both. "Fine," he sighed. His hands came up to unbutton his shirt.

Iris was watching every move. "Want some help?" Her eyes were laughing at him.

"No."

He was firm on that. He had to take his little victories where he could. Granted, he could tell that she was seriously messing with him and was allowing him to be firm so he wasn't sure how much of a victory it actually was, but he'd take it. He attributed the slight trembling in his hands to the residual effects of Cisco's sonic blast. That's all it was. It definitely was not the way she was looking at him, waiting as he undid one button after another.

Unbuttoning was one thing, but slipping it off required different movement altogether. He tried not to show how much it hurt to move his arms and torso as he shrugged out of the sleeves.

The twinkle in her eyes faded once he actually got it off. There was already a large purple bruise spread out over his right side. The area was slightly swollen and just looking at it was painful. She knew how fast he healed and she knew he'd seen worse, but it was sobering nonetheless. She looked at it and realized how grateful she was that hyper healing was part of his powers at all. She moved to touch it and then decided against it.

Their contest came to a crashing halt as Barry saw the look on her face. "I'm fine, Iris. I've had worse." He reached for her hand, which she quickly gave to him to forestall him reaching any further and causing more pain.

She nodded rapidly. "I know. It's just not something I ever  _want_  to see, that's all." Her other hand came down on top of his softly.

"Cisco can do it. You don't have to—"

"No." Her voice was firm. "No. I want to help. I'll always want to take care of you, Bear." Their eyes met. There was so much unsaid in the look that passed between them. Barry felt very sharply that she was referring to more than just a cracked rib. She held his hand and waited for him to reply.

For a moment he felt as if she could see all the way own to the depths of his soul. Could she possibly see his deepest fears, know the most broken parts of him? She knew him so well...his eyes flickered away from hers with the unsettling thought. He felt exposed, and not because his shirt was off. He managed a small smile. "I'm never worried about how well you can take care of me, Iris."

It was a dodge and she knew it, but she mentally tucked it away to evaluate later as she reached for the first roll of bandages. "Well, good." She faced him with a sincere smile and unrolled it. "Because I'll always be here to wrap you up." He raised his arms and she set to work, wrapping his ribcage tightly to support the injured rib.

Barry looked at the top of her head as she leaned forward, rolling the bandage across his back and reaching with her other arm to bring it around. In a way, she was reaching to hug him over and over. The firm pressure of the bandage increased with every repetition, and it felt like she was slowly healing him, pulling him back together, reducing his pain, wrapping him in warmth and love. He closed his eyes and wished it could last forever.

But he knew that it couldn't.

"How's that?" She was tugging on the wraps, checking their fit. "Too tight?"

He took a breath to check. "It's just right. Thanks."

Cisco ran into the room and slid to a halt. "You guys I think we're onto something mad freaky!"

* * *

 It took forty-five minutes before Barry started feeling more normal. It was an hour before he was able to run on the treadmill and fully gain back his super speed. It was another hour before his rib was healed enough to remove the wrappings, which he did with a somewhat saddened air. He'd never felt like that removing bandages Caitlin had put on.

In and around and all through that time, Cisco was spilling everything he'd found and every connection he could make on their weird bug.

"Barry, you caught the most dangerous Snitch of all time!"

"What?"

Cisco slapped the pictures Barry had taken of their most recent case on the console and slid the top one over to Barry. "You took this that night when CCPD started investigating this death."

Barry knew that already but he could tell Cisco wasn't done yet. "Yeah..."

Cisco pushed a tablet across the console with a picture he'd taken on it. "Look familiar?"

It was the hole left in the wall where the bug had disappeared. Barry pulled it closer to the picture, comparing the two. Iris leaned in with him.

"They look the same." Barry murmured. "With an obvious difference that one is in tissue of course. But the edges, the shape..."

Cisco was already nodding. "Exactly. Remember the blood spatters?" Iris and Barry both winced as they imagined the same thing they had witnessed happening to a person. Barry flexed his hand and decided a cracked rib was a small price to pay for keeping all parts of it. Iris found herself thinking the same.

Barry's forensics training was kicking in. "The spatters happened when the bug disappeared. The tissue it landed on disappeared with it. He died because several bugs or a big one landed on his chest."

"Yup." Cisco grimaced at the gruesome thought. "Nasty way to go."

"Tell me about it." Barry looked back and forth between Cisco and Iris. "I need to go get my stuff and take some samples from the wall, get that sliver of metal we got from the body from my lab..."

Iris smiled. "Hurry up, we'll wait. Time to see if you're back up to speed."

Barry grinned and zipped out. Looked like he was.

Cisco took advantage of Barry's momentary absence to bump Iris' shoulder with his own. He gave her a conspiratorially smug grin. "You're welcome, by the way."

Iris returned it with a confused look. "For what?"

His face fell. "Oh. Nothing, I guess. I thought that you told...nevermind..."

Iris laughed. "I'm just messing with you. Yeah, I told him."

"Okay then why are you guys looking all sad and weird? Why aren't you making heart eyes at each other and grossing out the team with some major PDA?"

"Barry's having some...issues. But I'll win him over. It's just a matter of time."

Cisco laughed. "Yeah it is!" Then he processed the rest. "Wait what issues? He was all mooney for you forever! He just changed his mind? You guys are worse than Ross and Rachel!"

"Hey!" She pointed a finger at him. It was very obvious that Iris considered that going too far. He raised his hands in surrender.

"You're right, I'm sorry. I take it back. But really, if you need any help you know who to talk to. Barry's never going to be really happy unless he's with you, and the sooner it happens, the better."

Her smile was like the sun as she laughed. That she could agree with. "Thanks, Cisco. How's Laurel by the way?"

Cisco was in the middle of a huge discourse about the many wonderful qualities Laurel Lance possessed when Barry returned.

* * *

 After a short night's sleep for three of the members, the group met at S.T.A.R. Labs the next morning. There were many surprised exclamations over the past night's events and discoveries. Caitlin checked Barry's rib and was impressed, Martin was completely taken in by the idea of a metal bug that could disappear, Joe was relieved that there wasn't another Black Eye running through Central City, and Ronnie was starting to wonder if they should start a renovation of the practice area.

All were astounded when Cisco told them how his powers had temporarily disabled Barry's speed. It made for a very eventful morning.

Despite all the new revelations as Barry talked with Joe about the case, discussed the bug and its disappearance with Martin, and Cisco about his dream he got the feeling that he was being stared at and discussed secretly by whoever he wasn't in conversation with. He caught Caitlin and Cisco laughing in a side room, which wasn't an abnormal occurrence. What was abnormal was how they quickly stopped when he entered. Caitlin quickly made an excuse to leave and patted Barry on the shoulder as one might pat a dog about to be put down. Except one usually wouldn't be obviously repressing a smile as they patted said dog. Barry was starting to get a bad feeling about this.

Later he saw Iris and Joe in conversation. He already knew Joe had chosen a side in the recent developments with Iris, so it concerned him even more when he caught Joe and Martin talking quietly later. Martin was looking his way and quickly averted his eyes when he saw Barry looking at him. It didn't help that Martin was nodding in agreement with whatever Joe was saying. Barry was starting to feel like a soldier caught behind enemy lines.

The capper was the tail end of the conversation between Ronnie and Cisco he accidentally overheard. (If accidentally meant pausing outside the doorway to Cisco's workshop so he could eavesdrop due to increasing paranoia.)

"No way, Ronnie. You've been gone for a lot of this drama and believe me, it'll take a week tops. Eight days if she goes easy on him."

"Nah. I say two weeks, maybe longer."

"You wanna make it interesting?"

"Twenty bucks."

"Done."

Barry popped around the corner. "Hey what are you guys talking about?" The fact that both men started and picked up random pieces of equipment to discuss pretty much confirmed his suspicions.

Everybody knew. Great.

He distracted himself by sweeping the practice room to look for more bugs. Then he swept the entire facility. He came up empty, though the things were small enough they could hide all sorts of places. Martin and Cisco were seriously disappointed and spent a large amount of time theorizing on the exact nature and qualities of such a bug, not to mention where it might have come from. Questions and theories were flying. Cisco swore he hadn't been dabbling in any kind of equipment like that, though now he was tempted to come up with a weapon for defense. Barry pointed out that they still didn't know if there were any more, but Cisco brought up the recent death and Barry couldn't refute it. At this point they had no idea how many bugs of this sort were still out there or if there were any. The group decided they had their work cut out for them and got busy as Joe, Barry and Iris got ready to head to work.

Joe said his goodbyes and headed down the corridor. Barry made to follow him but Iris called his name and rushed to catch up. He paused and turned, not quite sure how this was going to turn out. Iris was smiling up at him hopefully. "Do you want to maybe have lunch?"

"Um, I d—I mean I'm not sure—" he knew he was stuttering but wasn't quite sure how to verbalize himself.

But Iris seemed to know. "Don't worry, I won't throw myself at you or anything, it's just—I miss my best friend, you know? And I thought we could get lunch together." She looked truly nervous that things were going to get too difficult for them and cancel out their friendship as well.

Even with all the fear and stress of recent developments, he couldn't refuse his best friend. He exhaled slightly but was still able to smile at the thought of lunch with Iris. "Yeah. That would be nice."

"Great." She beamed at him. She looked so pleased that he wondered if he'd just walked into a trap. But she was still his best friend and he wasn't going to give that up. She started to move past him but he quickly turned and touched her arm.

"Oh and, thanks again, for wrapping my ribs. I really appreciate it."

She gave him that smile that first won him over when they were ten. "Anytime." He smiled down the hallway after her and then turned back to the main cortex—

Only to realize that their conversation had taken place in the doorway to the cortex, and every other person present had been watching. Barry was pretty sure he and Iris had been far enough away that they hadn't been overheard, but their body language must have been broadcasting loud and clear. The group was motionless for a moment until they realized they were all staring. They quickly made themselves busy, but Barry caught the look on Caitlin's face before she turned to Ronnie. She looked like she had been staring at a basket of kittens. Cisco was smirking, indecently smug. Ronnie was shaking his head, a rueful expression on his face. Martin was fiddling with his wedding ring and gave Barry a small smile.

They weren't fooling anybody. He was all on his own.

"Oh my God." He snorted in disgust as he turned on his heel and quickly headed to work. In retrospect, he should have used his speed.

If he had he wouldn't have heard the group burst into laughter once he was out of sight.

* * *

 Despite his worries, Iris was true to her word. Lunch was enjoyable and relaxed. Only once in a while did he realize she might be looking at him in a way that was more than best-friendly, but she didn't steer conversation in that direction. Barry managed to unwind and lower his guard some. He was rewarded with her brilliant smile and a lot of laughter between the two of them. They were having such a nice time that Barry easily agreed to Iris coming over to make dinner at Joe's that night. He found himself looking forward to it.

By the time he'd finished at work, made a few rounds of patrol (he deliberately avoided casual conversation with everyone at S.T.A.R. Labs) and made it home, Iris was already there and busy in the kitchen. She called out a greeting as he hung up his coat and bag, so he ambled into the kitchen to join her.

She was already busy at the stove, stirring a large pot of chili. "Where's Dad?" The heat from the stove was making wisps of hair curl, and her face was glowing. Barry smiled as he leaned against the fridge.

"He's on his way. He had to stop in Captain Singh's office."

She slid a glance his way. "Flash problems?"

Barry's eyebrows shot up. "I hope not! If so I should be the one in there."

Iris giggled. "True. I forgot he knew."

"Yup. It's hard to keep track nowadays."

"Anything on our latest case?"

"Not yet. Cisco and Professor Stein are still working. Right now they're just trying to learn more about the bug itself. I'm sure Cisco will have a name by tomorrow."

"Oh I'm sure he will!" The oven timer dinged. "Bear will you check the cornbread? I still need to add a few things here."

"Sure." Barry decided it was done and grabbed some oven mitts. As he deposited it on the counter to cool Iris suddenly yelled.

"Oh! It's getting all over my clothes!" The chili was close to boiling, large pockets of air erupting out of it and splattering in every direction. Iris stood back as far as she could without actually stepping away. "Barry can you get my apron for me? I can't stop stirring it'll scorch." She was rapidly stirring as she adjusted the stovetop to a lower temperature but the chili was showing no signs of stopping.

Barry grabbed the apron that was always in the kitchen for Iris whether she lived there or not and held it out to her. She gave him a frustrated glance. "I can't stop stirring, just put it on me."

"Uh, m'kay." He held out the apron and draped it over her shoulder, but it quickly tried to fall right into the pot. He caught it and gave her a perplexed look. She was still stirring.

"Just put it over my head and tie it, please. I don't want my dress to get stained."

"'Kay." Barry maneuvered the apron top over her head, careful to pull out her hair, and let it fall in front of her clothes before reaching for the ties to tie around her waist. It was only as he stepped closer to form them in a bow that he realized how close they were standing to each other, and how intimate an act this seemed to be. He was close enough to smell her hair. They were performing tasks for each other that a married couple would do. Like Iris wrapping his ribs. It didn't seem any different than how they had been with each other all their lives and yet it also felt foreign and new. The heat from the stove just added to the flush creeping up his neck and he decided the faster he completed this task the better.

Tiny bolts of lightning flashed as he used his speed to complete the bow. But his nerves and excess speed didn't gel well, and when he was done fingers on both hands were tied into it as well. He stared at the messy knot and went to work untangling it, finally managing to pull one hand free at the cost of some skin.

Iris had finally managed to tame the chili and moved it off the burner after a final stir. She looked over her shoulder. "Are you do—Bear, what are you doing back there?"

She turned around, but with only one hand freed from the knot Barry's other was forced to go with it. "Iris wait—" Before he could even finish she was facing him. One of his arms was around her waist. He put the other one around to pluck at the knot, but now he was working blind. He was pulling at any piece of fabric he could find hoping it was the right one to no avail.

Iris finally put together what the problem was. "Oh." She giggled. "Bear, how did you even manage—" she put her arms around to help, her fingers tangling with his, and that was when they both stopped. Both realized how close their proximity was, and both became aware that they were closer than they had been since the night she kissed him. Her face lifted to his, suddenly open with eyes wide and lips parted. He looked into her eyes, his own wide and startled. She hadn't planned this. She could see the beginnings of fear again mixed with something else: Yearning. He was looking at her as if she could destroy him but he still wanted her anyway.

She could understand the fear, even if she had moved past that point. And she knew the yearning. That bone-deep desire to have that one person you loved, love you in return. They both could feel the tension between them, that there was more than simple friend feelings involved. They both knew was no going back anymore, no pretending it wasn't there.

Their breaths were mingling together as they stood so close. She couldn't stop herself from moving her face closer to his, angling it and hoping he'd complete the motion and kiss her.

And he almost did. He even moved a fraction toward her. But at the last second he pulled back and away. He stood off to the side, hand still knotted in her apron ties, but as far as he could go on such a tether. Her breath expelled quietly, shakily as she swallowed her disappointment and reached around to free him. Her fingers plucked at the ties, quickly loosening them enough to slip his fingers out. They stood in silence a moment, nether sure what to say.

"What are you scared of?" She was direct but gentle.

Barry looked at the floor. He wasn't even sure how to say it. He opened his mouth but no words could possibly express what he was feeling. In the end, his shoulders slumped in defeat.

"I can't. I'm sorry." He looked steeped in misery, beaten down. "I just can't."

He sped from the kitchen and out of the house before she could say anything else. She stared at the floor, fighting tears, and it took her several minutes before she realized she was getting angry. She was not going to be robbed of Barry Allen in her life any more. The next time she tracked him down he was going to explain some things, and then they could handle them together.

Whatever had Barry running scared had to be dealt with, because he was running in the wrong direction.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh things are going down next chapter! I have had a ridiculous amount of fun with this, lol. Prepare for some serious (and still funny) stuff next! Thanks for reading you guys are the best! :)
> 
> Credit goes to the fantastic Ishipit87 for the apron strings idea. Woman, you rock! :D


	25. All's Fair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Iris and Barry have it out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah geez, you guys sorry it's been so long. Real life interferes as usual. But the good news is that you get two chapters! *muppet flail*
> 
> Thanks for the kudos and comments you guys are awesome.
> 
> Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy it! :D

Barry went to ground after the night in Joe's kitchen. He didn't answer his phone. He didn't respond to her texts. Iris spent the evening being consoled by Joe over chili and cornbread. When Barry didn't return before she went home she left him a covered bowl and plate of cornbread. Joe later told her that Barry didn't come back until after he'd gone to bed and cleaned out the entire chili pot and any remaining cornbread. Iris took that to mean that he'd probably spent most of the night running. It certainly felt appropriate. Barry left before Joe got up the next morning.

Over the next few days all the attempts Iris made to get in contact with Barry were ignored. Even surprise visits to the precinct, S.T.A.R. Labs and the house were frustrated. She walked into the house the next evening and only the still-fluttering pages of the magazine on the coffee table alerted her that Barry had just vacated the premises. A sudden drop-in to the lab resulted in the hallway being illuminated as he raced away once he realized she was there. S.T.A.R. Labs was too big to chase him down, she didn't even try.

She was getting truly pissed.

Joe could only shrug and listen to her grumble. His attempts to talk to Barry about Iris had been met with stony silence. Barry would barely communicate about current cases in anything more than monosyllables. He was keeping a low profile. Even the team at S.T.A.R. Labs was aware that things had taken a bad turn, not that he was talking to them either. Once, Caitlin had attempted to take advantage of Barry's open comm while he was on patrol to start a conversation about it. Barry had deliberately run alongside a blaring train to drown her out until she stopped trying. Nothing anyone said made a difference.

By the third day, it was all out war. Iris called in the heavy artillery and didn't feel the slightest bit bad about it.

* * *

 

Barry stepped into the main cortex after work and headed for his suit. Cisco looked up, obviously waiting for him. "Hey, Barry. You sure you want to patrol tonight? You can take a night off, you know."

"It's fine." Barry zipped in and emerged in his suit, mask already in place. Cisco spoke quickly before the other man could head out without talking.

"Look, Barry. Do you want to talk about what's bothering you?" It was about the fiftieth time Cisco had offered. Barry was starting to look gaunt. Shadows were collecting under his eyes. Cisco wondered if he was sleeping much at all.

Barry stared at the exit as if wishing he were through it. "I don't want to talk about it."

That in itself was disturbing. Barry was usually open to talking with people when he had problems. Cisco eyed him across the room, suddenly reminded of Iris right after Eddie's funeral. "Barry, come on man, it's been three days."

"I don't. Want. To talk. About it." Barry's tone was final.

"Okay. Have a good patrol, I'll let you know if we get anything."

"Thanks." Barry was out of the room instantly. Cisco sighed and pulled out his phone as he sat at the console. Caitlin, Ronnie and Martin slipped into the room from where they'd been waiting down the hallway.

"Is he patrolling?" Caitlin looked nervous.

"Yup."

"Okay. I'll text Iris."

* * *

 

Barry had run the streets of Central City so much lately he felt like he was wearing a path. He also felt like he was going in circles, which was probably because he was. He moved in and out of traffic with ease and started his runs up and down blocks, all senses alert for any trouble.

He knew this couldn't last forever. He was going to have to talk to Iris at some point unless he wanted to abandon their friendship completely, and he certainly didn't want to do that. But the realization the other night that it was now impossible to ignore the chemistry and tension between them had driven him completely out of her range, he was so terrified. They couldn't ignore it anymore, they couldn't pretend. All he could try to do right now was avoid her for a little while and hope things calmed down. Maybe with some time it would get back to where they were or at least a bit closer to it.

He knew Iris must be hurting too, and all he really wanted to do was comfort her and help her feel better. But he didn't know how to do that without just giving her what she wanted, and that terrified him more than words could say.

His thoughts were interrupted by Cisco on the comm.

"Barry, hostage situation on the top of a building. Be careful going in."

"Where? How many hostages?"

"Not sure we have very little info."

"Address?"

"Um, the system has some kind of glitch, the address isn't popping up."

"Well I don't have time for you to reboot it!"

"I know. Follow my directions and I'll lead you in.  _Please_  be careful when you get there."

"Okay, ready."

"Turn right. Left. Straight two blocks, then a left and straight up the corner building. The roof has a patio-type thing. No police there yet." Cisco's words concluded just as Barry reached the roof and came to a halt, already sweeping the area for a gunman.

"Wait. This is—Cisco!"

"Sorry, man it's for your own good!" Cisco's voice was rushed and slightly panicked.

"You—" but Cisco had already turned off the comm, Barry heard the sound of an open line disconnect. He stood for a moment, bathed in light on the rooftop of Jitters, and then his shoulders sagged as he exhaled. "You can't keep doing this." He raised his voice slightly, unsure where to direct it in the open space.

Iris rose from a chair in a dark corner. "Then maybe you should answer your phone. Or stop running away." She took several steps closer to him, moving slowly in the dim light. She took it as a good sign that he didn't bolt.

Barry was watching her warily. "What do you want?"

Her look was incredulous. "You know what I want, Barry. Or who I want. But right now I want to talk."

"I can't talk right now, Iris." He made a futile gesture with his hand. "I'm on patrol." Even to his ears it sounded weak. He turned away, ready to leave. Her voice stopped him.

"We have to talk, Barry. It can't go on like this." Still facing away from her, he just shook his head helplessly, unsure what to say. She could tell he was seconds away from running again. "You know when you came to live with us, you were afraid of the dark. I understood that. You were afraid of Tony, and with good reason. And when we were fourteen we watched that prison movie and you were terrified your dad would be killed in prison, do you remember that? I have watched you be afraid of many things over the years, Barry Allen, but I have never thought of you as a coward. Until now."

She watched as his head dipped. He stared at the ground for a moment. "Maybe I am." His head came up and he turned around. His hands came up and pushed his mask and hood off, showing her his face. "But I don't know what else to do anymore."

Her feet carried her several steps closer before she even realized it. "You can talk to me! Help me understand what the problem is!"

"I don't—know—I can't—"

"Barry." Her voice cut off his disjointed efforts. "I love you. Do you love me?" Even though she was almost positive of the answer, she waited in suspense.

It was almost alarming how fast expressions flitted across his face. His eyes were wide with fear and distress. It was starting to become his default expression with her. But she could see he was also taking her in. He was registering the pain and suffering on her face, the beseeching quality in her eyes that she knew must be there. That was what did it, actually seeing her pain. He swallowed hard and then nodded. His voice was low but she still caught it. "Yes. I still love you."

She managed to breathe again, exhaling a shaky breath of relief before she spoke again. She had no idea why but his use of the word still made her heart ache and beat faster at the same time. "Then why can't we be together?"

He realized that there was no going back now. He'd always known it would come to this. She wouldn't quit until she got to the bottom of it. She was a true reporter and always had been. "We aren't meant to be together anymore. It's not going to last."

Her head tilted as she looked at him in disbelief. She pressed her lips together, buying some time so she could measure her words. "And how could you know that?"

"I—it's hard to explain. I just know, okay, and it's better—"

"Well I don't know! What I do know is that I love you and you love me and I want to be with you! We can last, Barry! We  _are_  meant to be together!"

"I can't—if we—I don't know if I can—" He stopped short, wrestling with inadequate words to put a label on how he was feeling. And God, was he feeling a lot. Dark clouds of emotion felt like they were welling up within him, overwhelming him with memories of despair and loss. He felt like he was drowning on a high tide, crushed under the churning waves, pressed to the breaking point and it didn't even fit the conversation he was having. He felt like he couldn't breathe. Something was wrong...

"Why are you so scared? Are you afraid of being happy?"

"No, I—maybe! Because—"

"Because you thought I chose Eddie? I told you how that went and I'm—."

"I know but it doesn't change how it felt! I can't feel that way again!"

He was starting to cry, and it was horrible. He had cried in front of Iris for years, but this felt so different. He was suffocating under the pressure, fracturing as he started to crack.

Iris stopped going on the offensive at that. Tears glimmered in her own eyes as she took in how he was breathing, how his hands came up to his head as if he were falling apart. She knew that feeling. How well she knew it. She took a few steps forward, finally closing the distance between them so that she could touch him. It felt like breaking through a wall. He shuddered as her hand touched his shoulder, but even that touch couldn't put him back together. He looked like he was seconds away from a full-blown panic attack. She had never seen him like this before. Never.

"I'm sorry I hurt you. We both did a lot of stupid things. I'm sorry you ever felt like you were second to Eddie. I'm so sorry it took me a while to figure this out. But Barry, even now you can't handle the idea of being with me. What's going on?"

He backed away from her and for a moment she thought he was going to run, but he just pressed up against the wall behind him and slid down it, sitting with his knees bent and his arms draped over them. His head hung as he stared at his lap and tried to breathe slower but his breathing was only coming in fits and starts. She followed him down and sat cross-legged in front of him, very glad she had worn pants today instead of a skirt. It was a few more minutes before he actually spoke again.

"Did—did Joe ever tell you that Eddie asked for his blessing when he wanted to propose?" He was still staring at his knees.

"No, he didn't." It was far and away not what she'd expected him to say. A lump rose in her throat just thinking about it. But she waited for Barry to continue.

"Well he did, and Joe wouldn't give it. Eddie asked me to talk to him so I did and Joe said that he was sure you had feelings for me, and that he was afraid you would say yes and get married and then realize later you'd made a mistake."

Iris shifted uncomfortably. It was disconcerting and really a bit annoying that her father knew her so well, that she was being discussed while oblivious to it all. And it was really irritating that her father was probably right. She swallowed the guilt that came with that thought.

"And I don't—I can't be that guy, Iris. I'm already the guy who couldn't save his mother, the guy who couldn't beat the Reverse Flash. I'm the guy who caused so much damage and chaos to the city. But I can't be the guy who loses you completely. It would ruin me."

She bypassed several things that she wanted to discuss, going for the main one instead. "What makes you think that would ever happen? I don't want you for a few years, I want you forever."

"I—Gid—I'm just afraid it won't work. Maybe I'm just too broken now."

"What is that supposed to mean? You aren't broken, Barry."

His eyes flickered up to meet hers for the first time since he'd sat down, and just the look in them told her she might be wrong. He looked haunted, and diminished somehow. "I went back to save my mom, and instead I listened to the Reverse Flash stab her. I had to hold her and tell her goodbye. And I came back to defeat the Reverse Flash once and for all. And I wasn't fast enough to beat him. Eddie had to do it, and he died. I never planned on causing that singularity, I was going to be fast enough and strong enough to make sure that didn't happen. And instead I did and I hurt so many people. And somewhere between closing it, being away and finally getting back from that other world; I think I just grew up. Things don't always turn out the way you plan or want them too." His voice was dull as he finished.

Iris stared at him, finally seeing it for the first time. "Barry. You didn't grow up. You  _gave up_."

The look on his face made it clear that he had never really considered that possibility. His guarded barriers slid away as he stared at her, the full horror of it settling in. He suddenly couldn't breathe at all, the weight of it was too much and his sobs were choking and robbing him of breath as they emerged, clawing from deep down within him as he held his knees and cried.

The pieces fell into place as Iris reflected on it. He had given up, and that was why he was different. All of his calm, his entire well-adjusted demeanor since he returned had been a façade to shield the greater truth: He had given up on everything. It broke her heart to see clearly that he was still going through the motions of his daily life, complete with heroism as the Flash, and yet there was nothing behind it anymore. He had no hope left, and as a result he wasn't feeling deeply because feeling hurt too much. She wondered how many people were going through their lives in the same manner, so disillusioned by the world that they can't hope for any better but still appear to function on the outside.

And now she had pushed into his empty carefully guarded space and told him she loved him. She had pursued him and offered him his greatest dream, and he was terrified that if he allowed himself to feel that deeply again it would be ruined somehow. He'd be left that same broken hero who had sobbed over his mother's body, or worse. The man in a red suit who had lost everything. He was starting to feel again in spite of his best efforts because he still loved her, and that meant he was feeling everything he'd suppressed since he went back to save his mother. His protective front was cracking and falling, he couldn't maintain it anymore. But now that it was down, neither had any idea how this could turn out.

He was still sobbing bitterly, shocked at the truth of her words. His arms were wrapped tightly around his knees now, pulling himself in as far as possible. Iris could tell the full impact of the past events was rolling over him, probably for the first time since they had actually happened. She had dealt with most of hers months ago and the last of it just recently with Barry's help. But Barry had spent that time just trying to get back to his own world, and it had been a useful distraction. She was grateful that now that the time had arrived at least he didn't have to do it alone. She could do for him what he had done for her.

She moved next to him and wrapped her arms around him. He allowed it and burrowed into her shoulder, letting her hold him together. He wept as she held him close. Words began to spill out of him, and she let them, knowing it was necessary.

"He killed her, Iris. I listened to her scream...and I held her and told her I loved her...and that Dad and I were okay...but it was a lie...I'm not okay...Dad's still in prison...and I couldn't even beat him like I should have...I'm so sorry...I'm so sorry..."

She patted his shoulder and rubbed his back, whispering soothing murmured words over and over. It was all she could do. Gradually his sobs slowed as the storm passed, and his breathing became even and less jagged. He lifted his head off he shoulder to look at her. "You're right. I did give up."

She met his eyes again with tears shining in hers. "Did you give up on  _me_?"

He looked at her, considering her words. Memories of his mantra while falling through the sky crept back.  _As long as I remember Iris, I'll be all right_. The way everything had felt just a little off until he had finally seen her after his return. The way they hugged tightly for what had seemed like forever and he had never wanted to let go.

"No. You will always be the one who keeps me centered. I can't ever give up on you, it's not possible. But I did give up on me. I tried so hard to hold everything together, and it all fell apart. I was never going to be the one who could make you happy. I wasn't the one you wanted. I couldn't be the man you loved, no matter how hard I tried, and it hurt. And I can't change that feeling, Iris. It won't go away. What if in five years you decide you don't want to be with me anymore? Then I don't even have my best friend. I can't...do it again." His head lowered in defeat and his voice emerged muffled. "I was always so sure, you know? I was sure I could defeat him; sure I could get my dad out of jail. Sure I was the one who could make you happy..." his voice broke "but I'm not sure of anything anymore."

The tears she'd been holding until now spilled over as she reached to touch his hands, still draped over his knees. He allowed it and wrapped his fingers around hers, swallowing hard.

"You said you just want me to be happy again. I'm happiest with you." She was descending into small irrational arguments, she knew. But she didn't want to trap him with a loophole. She searched her mind for a better one even as he replied.

"I've been choosing to be happy with what I've got. It can be done. I'm sure you can do the same. We can save our friendship before it disappears."

"No, you're  _choosing_  to stay where you are and not try for something more when the opportunity is right there in front of you. That's not the same as choosing to be happy with circumstances outside of your control. I know who you got that phrase from, and believe me she didn't mean it that way." She gave him a penetrating look, and he closed his mouth because he couldn't argue with her on that one. Of all people, Iris West would know how Iris West-Allen thinks.

Just thinking about her alter-ego, married to Barry and pregnant with twins, going after what she wanted without fear gave Iris the courage to say out loud the thoughts she tried not to think about most of the time. Saying them aloud made them too real. But this was war, and she was holding nothing back.

"Barry, I'm scared that I'm always destined to lose you." He looked up in surprise, as she expected. "Look at the pattern. Every time I have you, I lose you somehow. In the future, the coma,  _another world_..." A reluctant huff of laughter came from him, prompting her to smile. "You say you haven't given up on me. And I  _know_  that the one thing I will never give up on is you. I'm choosing you. I'm willing to take the chance of losing you in the future so I can have you now, and I'll treasure every moment I can get. Are you willing to do the same? You wasted  _years_  afraid to tell me how you felt. Are you going to waste more again, because you're afraid?"

She could read him like a book once more. His face was open and conflicted. He  _was_  afraid, but he so wanted to take the chance. For the first time she could see the glimmerings of hope reflected in his eyes. He opened his mouth...

The strident ringtone of a cell phone shattered the air. Barry blinked, thoroughly distracted. They looked at each other as it continued to ring. Iris attempted to ignore it but by the time whoever was calling got voicemail, hung up and called back again, she realized she was going to have to answer. She pulled out her phone and growled when she saw the caller. The look on her face was one that promised swift and extremely painful retribution. "Cisco, I swear to you..."

"I know I know I'm so sorry but it really is an emergency! There's a guy on a subway car threatening to blow himself up and there are people trapped inside!" Cisco's voice lowered, and she could hear the somber tone in it. "Look I am so sorry. But this is serious. We're heading out already, and I think we're going to be in over our heads. We need Barry."

"Okay." Her resigned sigh could be heard over the line as she handed the phone to Barry. He was wiping his eyes and took it from her with an apologetic look. He cleared his throat and put the phone to his ear. "Yeah...okay...yeah just give me a minute. Bye." He handed it back to Iris and stood up, getting ready to leave. He gave her a look she couldn't decipher and pulled his mask over his face.

"Barry..." she wasn't sure what to say and she knew they didn't have any more time, but she didn't want him leaving like this. Not while things were so unsettled between them, not when he was running into serious danger.

He must have been able to read it on her face. The next thing she knew she was in his arms, and his lips were on hers. She was being kissed by the Flash, but it felt just as earth-shattering as kissing Barry. His hands slipped under her hair to her neck, gently holding both sides as his thumbs rubbed her jawline. The brush of the pads on his gloves made her shiver, just like the feel of his suit as she ran her palms up it to his shoulders. The kiss was urgent, passionate, and over far too quickly. But it still left them both breathless as he stepped back from her, his hands trailing down her arms before he reluctantly let go altogether. She could see Barry's expression perfectly even under the mask but it still didn't help her decide what he was thinking.

"Goodbye." He sped away and down the building, heading toward the nearest subway station.

She watched him leave, rubbing her hands up and down her arms as she tried to decide where exactly they stood. She'd think they were going to be okay if his farewell hadn't sounded so final.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yet another angsty ending, sorry! Things have to progress a certain way for it to feel natural to me, and heavy stuff like this doesn't just get instantly fixed in a moment. The next chapter is better and that was partly the reason I'm late updating, I was trying to give you a better stopping point. Next chapter should be up shortly! :)


	26. Unexpected Ally

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barry, Cisco and Firestorm take on a mad bomber. Things come to a head as Iris discovers an unexpected ally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised, the second of two chapters today! I'll try to be timely with the next update but since we are headed into the holidays I can't promise it. Don't forget to read the other chapter first! :)
> 
> Thanks for reading hope you enjoy it. I've had this chapter planned for months so it feels good to get it out there.

The subway train had been stopped in between stations and all the passengers were now huddled together in one car. The driver had been forced to disconnect the last car and drive away without it. The passengers were clinging to each other, all eyes on their captor. A lone man stood in front of them, twitchy and desperate. His fingers were wrapped around a dead-man's switch, gently waving it back and forth as if to soothe him alone. The switch was connected to a bomb vest heavily strapped to his body. He was glistening with sweat, eyes white and rolling as he looked back and forth. Barry guessed he was watching for the Flash's arrival. At least he knew what city he lived in. Barry spared a second to wonder if he could slip in faster than the guy could let off the trigger but was pretty sure his lightning trail illuminating the darkness would give too much lead time. As Barry watched the man began to shout at the frightened group of people again. He slipped back down the tracks, not using his super speed to avoid being seen.

Cisco, Martin and Ronnie were waiting further down in the darkness. Martin and Ronnie were separated for the time being to avoid detection as well. Cisco was sporting his own suit for the very first time, made of material similar to Barry's but in black and yellow, his special glasses worked into a visor that was part of a mask covering his eyes and most of his face.

Barry had naturally got there first and sped in before the police even realized he was past their blockade. Firestorm had arrived with a bit more spectacle, but no one on the police force was going to argue with someone who was on fire as he flew past them and into the subway entrance, even if he was towing what looked like another man hanging from a short length of chain, and even if that other man  _was_  screaming. Firestorm had landed inside and dropped Cisco as gently as possible onto the concrete. Cisco scrambled to his feet.

"Talk about trial by fire, you know next time we need to coat that chain in something that insulates heat better, that was getting hot. No, scratch that, there will  _never_  be a next time. Maybe I need to learn to ride a motorcycle; Laurel makes it look hot in a much better way."

Martin gave him a dry smile. "Maybe you need to learn how to use those powers to move yourself around. That could be quite a sight." Ronnie laughed.

Now, as Barry slipped back to them, they were seriously waiting for word of the situation.

"One guy, he looks real unstable, maybe fifteen or twenty passengers. A few are younger kids. He's not responding to police attempts to contact him, so I don't think he wants anything. He looks like he's snapped, negotiations won't do much."

"This has got to be some kind of awful karma for lying to you." Cisco looked at Barry. "Well, go steal his homemade bomb vest then, we'll wait. Not sure why I'm even here..."

Barry was already shaking his head. "He's rigged it to a dead-man's switch. He lets go, it blows. I take it off him, it blows."

"You're telling me you can't get your finger on the trigger faster than the time it takes for the bomb to realize someone let go of it?" Cisco's mask and visor just seemed to enhance his sarcasm skills for some reason. His visor glinted with iridescent irony.

"If he lets up even a fraction of an inch it may be set to go, depressing it again might not stop it." Barry's eyebrows rose. "You wanna try that and risk the lives of all those people if we're wrong?"

Cisco sighed. "No."

"Besides, I don't guarantee how far I can get before it goes off and being in a tunnel means the blast could travel down it and still injure people. We can't take that chance."

Caitlin's voice came over their comm system. "I agree with Barry, innocent people and all of you could die."

"Then what do you suggest? I don't think we have oodles of time if this guy is as cracked as you say he is." Cisco's voice had an impatient edge, and Barry guessed it was due to Cisco's nerves his first time out. He himself was locking away emotions at the moment, making sure he was mentally present despite the emotional meeting with Iris on the roof.

"That's true. I don't want to run people out either, there are enough that it would still take a few seconds and it only takes one for him to let off the trigger once he sees what I'm doing. Too risky."

Ronnie interjected. "Then what do we do?"

"Well, we have three of us, and one of him. Plus nobody's expecting someone with sonic capabilities." Barry gave Cisco a nod, the other man swallowed hard. Barry smiled. "Don't worry we'll start you off easy."

The terror inside the train car began to escalate as the ground began to tremor, small rumblings shaking the car and its occupants. Since most of the hostage group was sitting on the floor or in seats, they grabbed on and held tight. Their captor, mumbling to himself and shifting back and forth, wasn't so lucky. The undulating movement of the car was enough to throw him off his feet, and while he didn't actually fall over his distraction gave enough time for Barry to move in.

The bomber didn't see the golden lighting of the Flash light up the tunnel as he approached. He was in the car and next to the man in a blink, his own hand wrapped around the original one holding the dead man's switch. He kept it safely pressed down as he smiled at the man.

"Time to go."

Still holding the other man's thumb in place, he took the man and his bomb vest with him, racing off the train and down the tracks. Firestorm quickly followed, hovering a foot off the ground.

Cisco peeked out from his hiding place to make sure all was clear and approached the train car, where the group still on board was just starting to realize what had happened. Okay, that had been pretty easy. Barry was right. Now all he had to do was lead the hostages out and hand them over to the police. Simple. He leaped up to the door located on the end, still open after Barry's abrupt departure and stepped in. The group was still huddled on the opposite end. Cisco grinned at them.

"Everybody okay?"

A kid not more than ten looked him up and down. "Who are you?"

The distant sound of an explosion combined with rattling of the train tracks that Cisco was definitely not responsible for. He whirled to look down the tunnel. He didn't think the roaring flames whooshing down the tunnel were Firestorm approaching...

Cisco didn't have time to panic about his friends. He started moving before he even realized what he was going to do. "Everyone hang on!" he bellowed as he planted his feet and blasted the ground outside the car with every bit of sonic power he could muster. The car jerked into motion and headed down the tracks. Cisco grabbed the doorway to keep from falling out and used his other hand to blast again and then again to gain more speed. The car's occupants grabbed anything nearby as the train car raced down the tracks, but besides the odd murmur and startled exclamation no one spoke. They were all staring, either at the man in the black and yellow suit blasting sonic waves out of his hands, or the billowing flames chasing them down the tunnel. Even for Central City residents, this was new.

It was less than thirty seconds before the flames retreated and Cisco allowed the car to start coasting to a stop, and a few more minutes before the car came to a standstill. Cisco was still staring out the doorway, looking for any sign of movement. He had a sick feeling in his gut. He turned to the group, unsure what he should do next, when an elderly woman spoke up from her position on the left.

"We're fine, son. Go check on your friends."

It was the similarity to his own grandmother that made Cisco act on her words. He gave her a brief smile and jumped out of the car onto the tracks.

Then he ran back down the tunnel, mumbling prayers and pleas as he went.

* * *

 

Barry ran a good distance away from the car but made sure he was still equidistant between the car and the station when he stopped. That way they endangered as few people as possible as Firestorm removed the vest. The man he was holding blinked rapidly as he tried to figure out what had just happened. Barry could feel the other man's thumb attempting to pull out from under his, trying to activate the bomb. He kept his tightly on top.

"Just a minute, while we wait for my friend. He's not as fast as I am." Barry gave him a smug smile. Cisco should be unloading the train car about now. He glanced behind him and could see the approaching glow of Firestorm arriving. "Great." He turned back to the man he was still holding tight, one hand on the trigger and one gripping his vest.

The man was looking at him somberly. "You shouldn't have come."

"Yeah, well maybe you shouldn't be trying to hurt people. Maybe you should help them instead." Barry looked into his face. For someone who had snapped, he looked remarkably calm. It was unsettling.

"Why bother when the end is the same? You're just putting off the inevitable. We're all gonna go. Now you two are the only ones I'm going to help out on my way. Damn shame, really. If I was gonna do it, I wanted to help as many people out as possible."

Barry was staring at him now, brow furrowed. He had Barry's full attention as his free hand moved to his vest and pushed aside the black fabric that covered an LCD display.

There were two seconds on it.

"Get out!" It was all Barry could yell before the bomb exploded.

In the last two seconds before detonation, Barry unstrapped the many straps holding the bomb to the man's chest and yanked it off him. He moved to run with it, hand still pressed on the trigger, and realized that either way was going to endanger more innocent lives. The timer hit zero, so he yanked the now-useless trigger from the other man's grasp and spun in a circle, chucking the vest and its bomb in the direction of the station. Hopefully the police were still outside the station and not venturing down into it yet.

In slowed time, he saw it start to ignite, still in midair sailing down the tunnel. He probably had enough time to escape. He might even be able to grab the man and take him along, but Firestorm was here now and he wasn't quite as fast. He wasn't leaving someone behind. He wasn't going to explain to Caitlin and Clarissa that he'd failed to save their husbands. He grabbed the man and dove for cover, glad that he'd taken the opportunity to kiss Iris one last time. At least she'd remember these ones. He brought her face to his mind.

_Iris..._

The blast of the bomb lifted him and the man he was still holding, blowing them six feet down the tunnel. They landed with a jarring thud. He still tried to shield the man as much as possible, knowing his own suit would be fire resistant. He waited to feel burning flames and searing heat, and he did feel some, but it wasn't as painful as he expected. The flames raced down the tunnel and toward the train car. Barry sat up, wondering why he wasn't screaming, and absently patted the flames out on the man's sleeve. The man didn't move. He just stared at Barry in wonder. But Barry was staring at someone else.

Still aflame, Firestorm was standing six feet down the tunnel, in the place where Barry had dove for cover. Barry realized that Firestorm had placed himself directly in front of Barry and his companion, shielding them from the worst effects of the blast. Now that he thought about it, it was probably Firestorm's own blast action that had moved them so far away. He watched as Firestorm moved his shoulders experimentally, checking to see if his back was injured in any way. Of course, it was on fire but that was normal. He grinned at Barry. "Fight fire with fire."

Barry shook his head, lips twitching. "You did not just say that." He got to his feet, dragging their subdued bomber with him.

Firestorm moved to them and fell into step as they started walking back toward the train car. "You know if we didn't say it the new guy is going to." Both men knew he meant Cisco, but just the thought of him brought both to a sudden halt. The third did too, he had no choice.

"Wait, do you think he's—?"

"Guys?" Cisco's voice echoed down the tunnel toward them. Both breathed a sigh of relief.

"We're fine, no big deal. Are the people on the train—"

"They're fine too, I moved them farther down the track, but you know a little warning might be nice next time, this was supposed to be easy!" Cisco had reached them now and was looking more indignant by the second. Clearly he'd been worried he would find scattered bits of his friends instead of whole ones.

Barry shook the man he was still holding. "Our friend had a surprise timer set to go, sorry."

Cisco glared at the man, his visor lending a more menacing tone. "Dude, that's not cool." The man looked almost abashed. The group started walking again, and arrangements were made for Firestorm and Cisco to take care of the passengers while Barry escorted his charge up to the police.

It was only when the other two had left that the man looked at Barry again with something akin to wonder. Barry frowned at him.

"I thought I knew what was going to happen next."

Barry looked at him. "We always think we know what's going to happen. Doesn't mean it's going to. But it doesn't mean we need to give up either." He used his speed to deliver the culprit to the police, dropping him in front of a satisfied and relieved Joe, but his own words stayed with him.

It was later, after everything was handled and Barry and Cisco were about to head back that Barry turned to his friend. "There are going to be reports of your activities tonight. Iris will probably write about it. I suggest you pick a name for yourself before other people give you a weird one."

Cisco's iridescent visor picked up reflections of the red and blue police car lights in the distance as he considered it. He looked like a different version of himself in his new suit and mask.

"I like Vibe. It fits."

* * *

 

Iris didn't even pretend to work as she sat at her desk and stared at her phone, contemplating the cryptic text for the tenth time.

**Not hurt. See you tomorrow. Cisco's name is Vibe now.**

What was that supposed to mean? She'd already contacted Caitlin and knew the details of the bomber scare the night before. Was Barry letting her know he wasn't hurt so she wouldn't worry or because he was trying to avoid her tracking him down to ask? Was "see you tomorrow" again to keep her from moving to see him, or did he really mean they'd see each other tomorrow? It was tomorrow, and she hadn't seen him yet. She wasn't sure if the conversation last night had helped or hurt her cause. Cisco's name...well that was pretty obvious. Vibe. A fitting name for a hero with sonic abilities. She went back to pondering the first two.

"Hey." Barry was standing next to her desk, looking fidgety.

"Hey!" She pocketed her phone, unable to keep the smile from curving her lips or looking at his as she remembered kissing the Flash last night. "What's up?"

He met her eyes and then looked away. She felt a slight sinking feeling.

"Um, I wanted to—will you come with me? I need to show you something." Barry forced a small smile, obviously nervous but determined to do what he'd come to do.

The sinking feeling halted slightly. He was unsure. Well, that was something. She pushed to her feet. "I'll go anywhere with you, Barry Allen."

It was gratifying to watch the red hue creep up his neck. "Okay, stop that."

"Why? It's true..." She grabbed her purse and slipped her arm through his. "Let's go."

Barry asked her to drive and pointed her to S.T.A.R. Labs. It didn't escape Iris that he had given her a way of leaving on her own if she chose rather than running them both there. She wasn't sure what to make of it. He filled her in on details of the night before; they both agreed that Vibe was a perfect name for Cisco and thought it fitting that it had been his name in the other world as well.

They skipped past the main cortex and moved down a corridor. Barry was holding her hand as he led the way, and she couldn't decide if it meant anything or not. The ambiguity was killing her.

Barry stopped abruptly in the middle of the hallway, turning to face her. He took a deep breath.

"Okay, I know we need to talk about this, so I'll try to tell you how I'm feeling." He checked her expression and was encouraged by her response. Talking about it was a step up from avoiding her. "I know what you want. And I'm sure you know what I want too. But I can't help feeling like you might be just giving in to something you think is unavoidable. I don't want that. I want you to choose me because you want me, not because you think that fate or destiny decided it and you have no choice. That's what I've always wanted."

"Barry, I am—" she stopped when he anxiously raised a finger and allowed him to finish. She could tell it was important to him that he say this, and she was at least glad he was talking about it now.

"So, I'm going to show you something, and then you can decide. And it's okay, whatever you decide. It's really okay." His face said it really wasn't, but he was trying so hard.

He looked so anxious that she had to expend effort not to laugh at him. He was wavering, and she was so happy to see it. He wasn't committed yet, but she could work with this. "Okay then." It looked pretty clear to her that he was positive she would change her mind after she saw whatever he had to show her. She didn't point out that she'd decided long ago this wasn't predetermined, and that her choosing him was what she wanted more than anything. Let him do what he needed to, maybe it would make him feel better.

He nodded, took another deep breath, and put his hand on the wall.

A door opened in the wall next to him. Iris gasped. "Oh it's the time vault isn't it? Cisco said he tried to get in while you were gone but he couldn't."

Barry ushered her in with a gentle hand on her back. "Speedster privilege, it seems." The door shut behind them and the room illuminated as they stepped in. Iris looked around, taking in the empty case and the walls.

"Gideon?" At the sound of Barry's voice the A.I. emerged from the back wall, her now-familiar translucent face gently smiling at him.

"Good afternoon, Barry Allen."

"Hi, um, this is Iris—"

"Iris West-Allen, wife of Barry Allen, reporter for the Central City Citizen." Gideon's smile seemed to get larger, if that were possible for her. She instantly re-formed herself into her full, feminine form, mirroring Iris' stance across the room.

Barry's head whipped over to look at Iris, dismayed. "She, umm, she gets confused. She does it with me too. Her default setting seems to be the future that I created her in, and that's the one from the future newspaper article, so..." he trailed off into silence as he realized her eyes were gleaming at him in silent laughter.

"Is that what you wanted to show me?" She couldn't keep the smile off her face.

"No, actually. I wanted to...Gideon, will you please show us the newspaper headline for April 24, 2024?" He gave her a tight smile and crossed his arms, backing up several steps. Iris remained forward, watching as Gideon disappeared and the holographic headline appeared.

**_Return To Sender:_ **

**_U.S. Post Office Shuts_ **

**_Down Permanently_ **

**By Anthony Johnstone**

Iris swallowed. She was well aware that this must be the date of the infamous article with her married name on the byline. So this was why Barry was so sure it wouldn't work for them. She stared at it a moment longer.

But she didn't care.  _She didn't care._  She wanted to be with Barry Allen because she loved him, not because of any stupid article she may or may not write. She hadn't let the article define her future before and she'd be damned if she was going to let it this time. She was not a passive person to be acted upon anymore. She was going to grab what she wanted. She didn't care about the future and what might or might not happen. She cared about right now. She whirled to face Barry, who was watching somberly.

"So?"

He was nonplussed. "So, what?" It was there plain as day, he knew she understood what it meant.

"So I don't care, Barry. I don't care what some stupid newspaper headline says. Maybe you just don't disappear that day because Eobard Thawne doesn't travel back to kill you now. Maybe the headline the next day is you performing some heroic act! And if so  _I'm_  going to write it and I'm going to write it as Iris West-Allen!" Her voice rang through the space. She lowered it for her next words. "I love you and you love me. We should be together." She turned back to Gideon before he could reply. "Gideon?"

Gideon's voice echoed from the walls. "Yes, Iris West-Allen?" The newspaper article flickered and wavered.

"Can you show me any mentions of Iris West-Allen in all of your archives?"

Barry moved forward. "Whoa, no—"

"I regret that I am unable to show any mentions of Iris West-Allen at this time." Gideon's voice sounded somewhat mournful.

Or maybe that was just Iris projecting her feelings. "Why not?"

"Because the future is undetermined at this time."

That made both of them stop short. Barry spoke first. "What? But you're always able to show the future headline, Gideon. Why not mentions or other articles? That doesn't make sense." He didn't even realize that he was arguing on Iris' side of the argument now. His hand slid around hers before he noticed it.

Gideon's voice issued, reverberating all around them. "I cannot show any mentions because the future is uncertain at this time. The future is being affected and has yet to take form." As she spoke, the newspaper article in front of them blipped, flickered, and disappeared.

"What does that—" Iris began, but Barry stepped back, running his hands down his face and distracting her. "What?"

"It's me."

"What?"

"I can't commit to one future or the other. I want to be with you but I'm afraid to be. I haven't committed and the future won't shape until I do. We're at a crossroads. Two very different paths and two very different futures and Gideon can't access anything until one is chosen."

She stared at him. "So...choose."

He took a shuddering breath. "Yeah, choose, I—" he ran his hands through his hair now, slightly panicked. Iris was starting to feel the same. Everything depended on this moment and it was inconceivable that her future didn't have him in it. But if even Gideon couldn't find the future then it was truly undecided. The thought was terrifying. Barry looked close to the state he'd been in last night, and she was very worried he would run away.

Gideon's voice echoed again as a new screen emerged. "Perhaps this will help, Barry Allen." An image, rapidly zooming in frame after frame, began to play. Barry realized he was watching a satellite image, probably from a S.T.A.R. Labs satellite. Iris was utterly still next to him, watching carefully. The picture zoomed in, moving in on a city set on the edge of a large bay. The bay began to take shape, and finally the image became crystal clear as it captured and stayed focused on two figures running across the grass. One was a woman. She was wearing a green coat and was closely followed by a young man wearing a dark coat carrying a dark duffle bag. Voices echoed over the speakers.

"What do we do?"

"He'll find us."

Barry couldn't stop his reaction. "No, no Gideon,  _do not_  play that! How do you even  _have_  that? How is that even possible, that was erased?!"

"When you created me you were already the Flash, and you were already aware of time travel. You gave me the ability to store data from timelines as long as they occurred. This event has happened, erased or not, and it has been stored in the S.T.A.R. Labs archive with other footage of surveillance instigated by Harrison Wells." Gideon's voice was utterly calm, a stark contrast to Barry at the moment.

Iris had been looking back and forth between the image, now paused on Barry's command, and Barry. "I want to see it."

Barry shook his head. "No."

Iris took a chance. "Gideon, please play the footage."

"Of course, Iris West-Allen." The footage began to play, but it was barely a second before Barry cut in again.

"No, stop. You must obey instructions given by your creator, and that's me."

"I am programmed to accept and obey all instructions from Barry Allen and his wife, Iris West-Allen."

The footage began to play again.

"She's not—!" but the scene was unfolding and Barry backed away, held captive by the image on the screen. He'd dreamed this moment, relived it so many times. He'd never even thought of the possibility that Gideon had archival footage of it. It was probably better; he would have just used it to torture himself. He watched as he and Iris looked out over the bay and realized there was a tsunami forming, growing larger and larger. And Barry told Iris to go but she refused.

"Listen to me. Ever since the night that you told me how you felt I have not been able to stop thinking about you..."

Iris was watching herself on the screen, spellbound.

"And then I realized that the reason I couldn't stop thinking about you was because I didn't want to."

S.T.A.R. Labs satellites must be very expensive, because even an image captured from space showed his soft look and happy smile as he replied. "I've never stopped thinking about you."

They kissed, and each drew a shuddering breath at the sight of it. He because the memory of it was so clear even now, and she because just watching made her think of the night she'd kissed him. Barry's careful wall was already coming down after the night before, but now he couldn't repress the emotion that welled up with that image. That perfect moment when Iris West returned his feelings and the future was so bright.

Too bad it was only a moment.

The rest of the footage played out. Barry watched, gut churning, as he dressed in his suit and told her to go. The camera zoomed back and he watched as he raced up and down the coast, trying to create a barrier strong enough to sap the tsunami of its strength and damaging force. He watched until he suddenly disappeared, and the footage went snowy and stopped.

The screen blipped away, and Gideon returned in her full form. Barry couldn't meet Iris' eyes as she turned to him.

"You went so fast you—"

"—went through a wormhole, yes. I went back a day and had to repeat it. But I couldn't let that first day happen again. Joe was missing and maybe dead, Captain Singh had lost the use of his legs, and a giant tidal wave was headed to the city. So I changed it." He looked at a distant corner.

"Why didn't you say anything?" Iris sounded close to tears.

"What was I supposed to say? You didn't know I was the Flash again once I changed it, and—"

She gasped, cutting him off. "That was when you were so weird! You broke up with Linda, and all that 'I know you' and 'let's stop thinking and start doing' and the ESP!" She stared at him.

He swallowed. He'd tried so hard to forget that time. "I—I tried. You chose Eddie. You always chose Eddie." His voice went soft.

The tears she'd been holding at bay finally spilled over. "I'm so sorry, Barry. I was—blind and scared and stupid and trying to be loyal—" she ran out of words and approached him. He let her. She stared at him for a moment, and just that small action helped her find the right ones.

"I didn't always choose him. Right there, right then" she pointed behind her at where the screen had been, not caring that a silent A.I. was present to witness this "I chose you. And later, I chose you before you left. Maybe it took me some time, but I will  _always_  choose you Barry Allen. The moment you told me how you felt, I was never the same again. Nothing was. I couldn't stop thinking about you, but I was too scared to reach out and take what was right in front of me. But I'm not anymore." She was right in front of him now, as close as they had been on the screen moments ago.

Then she smacked him on the arm.

He recoiled. "What was that for?"

"How could you think we're not meant to be together? How could you think you're not perfect for me? You're sexy in a nerdy way, you know me inside and out, and you accept me on every level. You've been pining for me all these years and now that I'm right in front of you you're going to walk away?" She smacked him again. "You're an idiot!"

There was a bloated pause in which Barry simply stared at her, arm still pulled in tight against his body, and she stared at him, chest heaving with exasperated breaths.

Barry's mouth twitched. A slow smile crept out and widened into a huge grin. Iris returned it with a small, hopeful one. Barry chuckled, and then laughed out loud.

The stress of the last week finally rolled off them both as they let the ridiculousness of the situation sink in and laughed together. Barry reached for her hands and she stepped closer, letting him hold one but using the other to run a finger down his cheek. "You idiot Barry Allen I love you."

His eyes gleamed at her, alive in a way she hadn't seen in what felt like forever. His walls were down and he was feeling everything, and he didn't seem to mind at all. "I love you too. Iris West." They kissed, slowly and carefully, savoring the moment. When they drew apart he grinned down at her. "So you think I'm sexy?"

"In a nerdy way." She became over-run with giggles, relief and happiness making her extra giddy.

Barry gave her a mock frown. "Come on, now. Don't laugh at me." But she just giggled harder, unable to stop. Not even when he kissed her, as muffled sounds of mirth still emerged. Barry realized how much he was enjoying it and pulled back, his face radiant all of a sudden. "Wait, never mind. Go ahead and laugh. You haven't laughed enough in the last six months." It did him good to see her this way.

Still giggling, she finally managed to make some words. "How do you know, you were gone for most of that."

He smiled. "I know you, Iris." He kissed her again, and it was beautiful—until a fresh bout of giggles began to seep out. He pulled back with a questioning look.

Iris could only sputter "L-lightning psychosis!" before she dissolved into laughter. Barry laughed with her, still holding her close.

The sound of Gideon's voice from the walls made them both jump. Neither had noticed when Gideon had abandoned her full form. "Sir, will there be anything else?"

Barry cleared his throat. "Um, no, thank you Gideon." He turned back to Iris, who had finally stopped laughing but was smiling up at him with complete happiness. "I think you've done enough today."

Gideon signed off as Barry moved in for another kiss.

As his lips moved on hers Barry became aware of that same feeling he'd felt kissing her on the beach. Iris West loved him.

And the future was so bright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These two dorks! Never wrote a comedic-style love scene for them before and I have to say I thoroughly enjoyed it. More story to come before it's over, some loose ends to tie up and some fun is planned! :D
> 
> Thanks for reading and commenting!


	27. Best Laid Plans...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bug facts, criminals, and lots of Barry and Iris.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys I am SO sorry it's taken me so long to update. This long is practically unheard of for me! Long story short, I took a much-needed break and it did me good. Now I'm back and will be updating regularly! To make amends I am giving you a monster-sized chapter! Yay! Hope you enjoy it.  
> As always, thanks for reading, kudos and commenting, you guys are awesome! *hugs*

 

The insistent ringing of Barry's phone brought reality back into the time vault, breaking Barry and Iris apart. Two disappointed sighs breathed between them before Barry fished his phone out of a pocket and answered.

"Dude, you need to come see this." Cisco seemed to be gifted in interrupting moments between Barry and Iris recently, and he wasn't slowing down. Barry sighed again, looking down into Iris' face.

"I'll be there in a minute." He hung up before the other man could reply, very aware of the fact that Iris still had her arms wrapped around him and their eye contact was still unbroken even after the interruption. He shoved his phone in the nearest pocket he could find without looking away and smiled softly into her eyes. "I should go."

She smiled back. "I should too. I have a few more hours of work to finish."

Neither moved.

Her smile grew larger. "You're not going."

Barry's smile grew too as he remembered her saying that to him once at Jitters, what seemed like so long ago. "That's because I want to do this." He leaned forward and kissed her again, still hungry for it. He couldn't get enough.

Iris couldn't either. Ever since she'd kissed him that night she had wanted more, more and more. The kiss before he left the rooftop hadn't been enough, their several kisses just a few minutes ago wasn't enough. Watching them kiss on the footage had only made her want that memory back, it was aggravating that she and Barry had kissed before and she didn't remember it. She felt like she could kiss him for years and not get enough.

Eventually they separated, both breathing hard. They put their foreheads together, Barry slouching just slightly to manage it. His hands were still on her face, one absently stroking her cheek, the other thumb brushing her jaw. Hers were buried in his hair, one slipping out to cup his cheek, rubbing her thumb on his cheekbone. Both were silent for a few moments as they caught their breath.

"I don't want to leave here." Barry's voice was hushed, almost a whisper.

Obvious reasons aside, Iris could tell there was something deeper behind his words.

"Why?"

Barry's eyes were closed, but he opened them at her question. She could see the emotions at war in them, happiness and excitement mixed with fear and worry. He left their foreheads together, but he looked at the floor as he responded.

"I'm a little scared." He looked guilty admitting it.

She didn't have to ask what it was that he feared. After the video Gideon had showed them and their talk the night before she could easily pinpoint the reasons. He'd already done this once before, and it had been erased. He'd already dealt with losing what he thought he could have in several different ways by now and he was afraid it would be repeated yet again. Maybe not today, maybe not in a week, but one day. They had kissed, they were together, but that didn't make the doubts and fear vanish. He'd told her the feeling wouldn't go away, and she could see that it was true, even now.

His eyes flickered back to hers, and she could also read his shame at doubting her love for him, his own anger at himself for not believing. But ultimately it wasn't her he doubted, it was him. He worried he was lacking in some way, and eventually she would realize it and leave. She could reassure him a thousand times but that self-doubt would still remain.

So she wouldn't reassure. She wouldn't waste time with empty words. She sighed and admitted the truth.

"Me too."

Their heads were still together. His eyes met hers, concern for her mixed with his own doubts. She put both hands on either side of his face. "I'm so scared of losing you again, Barry. I'm afraid you'll somehow be taken from me, or get killed." She could see his next words forming just by the expression on his face. "I know you'll be careful. I know you want to promise me that you won't go anywhere. But you can't really promise that, can you?"

His eyebrows drew together as he understood the point she was making. Neither one of them could promise that the future would be perfect or unmarred. The way ahead was ever-changing and unknown, even with Gideon's archival knowledge. He of all people knew the dangers of time travel and knowing too much about the future. They had to press forward and hope for the best, just like everyone else.

Once she saw he understood Iris continued. "So just hold on to me, Barry. That's what I'm going to do. I'm going to hold on with everything I have." Her hands moved off his face. She wrapped her arms around his waist, holding tight. "Hold on to me."

His arms moved of their own accord, wrapping around her shoulders, pulling them closer than they already had been. She laid her head on his chest with a sigh, enjoying the tight embrace. His head dropped over her shoulder and they held each other as if they never intended to let go.

Barry breathed in her scent and closed his eyes. He could feel her arms around him, holding him together, and his own doing the same for her. It was like the hugs they had always given each other as friends and yet it was already so much more. He could tell she felt it too. It was...deeper, more intense, and it felt like they had finally stopped spinning in the chaos of the world. They held fast and gave their strength to the other. Just holding her he suddenly felt stronger, ready to handle whatever came their way. And he finally, finally understood what Iris West-Allen had meant when she'd told him that she and Barry chose to be happy. They chose each other, every time, and they chose to focus on the happiness instead of fear of what may come. That beautiful mother-to-be was still taking care of him from a world away. He let out a shaky breath, a ghost of a laugh emerging with it. Iris pulled back enough to meet his eyes with a questioning look. He smiled to show she had helped him feel better.

"Choose to be happy, right?"

She smiled back at him. "Right."

He captured her lips in a slow, delicious kiss and nibbled her lower lip as he pulled away.

"Iris. When I'm with you, there is no choice."

She laughed. "Corny, Barry. So corny."

He grinned at her, unrepentant. "Good thing you like corn."

"A very good thing." She was leaning in for another kiss when Barry's phone startled them both. She growled in frustration.

Barry silenced his phone and pecked her lips quickly. "We should go." He held his hand out to her, ready to tackle the world outside as long as she was next to him. Iris took his hand eagerly.

They were out of the time vault and into the hallway before Iris swung their linked hands between them and turned to Barry.

"So are you going to ask me out on a date or what?"

Barry laughed. "Would you go out to dinner with me, Ms West?"

Her smile was radiant. "I'm free tonight."

* * *

 Barry stood in the main cortex next to Cisco, shaking his head. They were both watching a monitor. A newscast had just informed the public that a new vigilante calling himself the Green Arrow was busy in Star City. Barry watched the continuously replaying footage of Oliver, hood low over his face, addressing the general public. Oliver's identity was pretty well concealed, but the S.T.A.R. Labs crew knew exactly who it was. Barry smirked.

"I knew he couldn't stay out of it forever."

Cisco nodded. "Green Arrow, Vibe. New names are flying around here!" He gave Barry a wide grin, who in turn chuckled. He checked his phone for new texts, wondering if Iris had made it back to work yet. When he finally looked up, Cisco was watching him with a raised eyebrow and a knowing look.

"Well you look better than you have in days."

Barry frowned at him, almost unwilling to discuss it even now. Cisco's knowing look dropped.

"Hey, what's wrong? You looked happy for a minute. I thought you guys worked things out."

It was Cisco's true concern that made Barry speak. "We did—I just don't—"

"You don't want to jinx it." Cisco was already nodding. "I get it. But seriously, Barry" he reached out to clap Barry on the shoulder "you guys are never going to be happier than when you are together. Just go with it. I've seen you apart. This is gonna be way better. Iris has been through a lot, and she wouldn't be after you if she didn't want you for good."

Barry smiled a little, relaxing. "We're going on a date tonight. Do you know a good restaurant I can get a table at on such short notice?"

"Ooh! Let me call that little French restaurant I took Laurel to the last time she visited." Cisco whipped out his phone and started to look it up. Barry checked his phone again. No texts.

He was just wondering if it was too soon to text Iris when Martin hurried into the room, looking rumpled and manic.

"Barry! I've been looking into that strange bug you almost caught. I think I've found some things. Come with me!"

Cisco tapped Barry on the shoulder from behind. "You have a reservation tonight at seven. Who comes through for his friends? Me!" Cisco pointed his thumbs back at himself, very proud.

"Oh?" Martin's attention diverted away from strange bugs for the first time in two days. "Was there some progress made in the Great Barry Chase?"

"What?!" Barry's yelp echoed off the walls of the cortex.

"Yeah, he didn't know it was called that." Cisco was mumbling out of the side of his mouth, as if Barry wasn't directly in front of him.

Martin barely took notice. He was nodding in satisfaction, mind already diverting back to his original purpose. "Clarissa will be delighted." He patted Barry's shoulder. "It's better this way, Barry. Trust me. Having the woman you love in your life is far better than living without her. Believe me, I know." He turned to head down the hallway to Cisco's workshop. His voice floated back to them. "Ronald would say the same..."

Cisco snorted. "Ronnie owes me twenty bucks now, not sure he would."

Barry was wavering between extreme annoyance and happiness at the idea of having Iris in his life as the woman he loved. Cisco was still in the room so annoyance took over. Barry turned to him with a glower. "The Great Barry Chase?"

Cisco gave him a sheepish smile. "I thought of 'The Flash Trap' too, but having Barry in the name made it much more personal. She doesn't want you because you're the Flash she wants you because you're Barry." He started to follow Martin down the hallways and then turned back in the doorway. "And I'm gonna have to agree with Martin too. He's right. It's way better."

"How would you know you've never lived without Laurel after you two got together!" Barry knew he was arguing stupid points but still felt it should be pointed out.

Cisco's head popped back in. "Every time she goes back to Starling City, Barry." He pulled a sad face and ran a finger from his eye down his cheek, indicating a tear. "Every time."

Barry stood alone in the cortex shaking his head. He wondered about simply leaving, but in the end curiosity won out and he followed the others down the hallway to Cisco's lab.

Besides, as embarrassing as it was to have to admit defeat to his friends/onlookers in this little drama, he knew they were right. He already couldn't wait to see Iris again, and when he did it would be on their first date. He, Barry Allen, was taking Iris West out on a date.

He was smiling as he walked into Cisco's workshop.

* * *

 Minutes later Barry stood with his arms folded, gazing down at a tiny piece of metal fragment no bigger than a speck sitting on a microscope slide. Martin clipped the slide into place on the microscope and gestured to Barry. "Take a look."

Barry stepped to the microscope and put his eye to it. Several seconds passed. Barry's murmur could barely be heard. "But...that's..."

"Impossible, right?" Martin's voice was breathless with excitement.

Barry's head rose up to look at him. "Right."

"Whoa, lemme look." Cisco pushed in front of Barry. "Where'd you get this again?" He looked as well.

Barry answered. "It's the fragment I found in our victim."

"Wrong." Both Barry and Cisco looked at Martin in surprise. "I found that piece in the wall of the practice room, in the crater left behind by Barry's bug." Martin's eyes were gleaming, a sure sign he had exciting information to divulge. He pointed to the table to his left, where another fragment was sitting on a slide of its own. "That's the one Barry found in the victim."

"So we knew the bugs were the culprit in that murder..." Cisco was clearly trying to lead Martin in the right direction. Unable to abandon his newly discovered fact, Barry jumped in.

"But that metal looks...organic."

Martin took Barry's train of thought. "Exactly! It's some kind of exoskeleton or maybe a wing fragment from the bug!"

Cisco looked into the microscope again. "But...does that mean...we're dealing with some kind of metal meta-bug? Really? How did we go this long without seeing this already? The accelerator was over a year ago."

Martin almost tripped getting himself to the other table. "That's...because...the accelerator...explosion..." he was rapidly flitting back and forth, bringing the other metal fragment on its slide and slipping the other one out of the microscope "was...not...responsible..." he brought over a small machine with a probe attached "for...this...bug." Martin made a final trip back from the other table, and with him he brought the tray of metal fragments Cisco had located with Iris. They had been inside S.T.A.R. Labs the day Barry managed to return home, which was the only reason they were still around and not sucked into the vortex. Barry and Cisco watched with growing consternation as Martin turned on the machine and picked up the probe with a flourish. "Observe." He carefully touched the end of the probe to the first piece of exoskeleton, and then the next. Barry and Cisco were not surprised to see the meter on the machine hit the same point both times. Barry had a sinking feeling as he watched Martin move the probe to the tray of metal pieces and touch it to one. The meter hit the exact same place.

"They have the same frequency."

"Yes." Martin was touching every other piece on the tray, though he truly had no need to. "And there's only one other way we know of to acquire such an identical frequency, isn't there?"

Barry ran a hand down his face. "I am so done with singularities." Was there no end to the repercussions of that thing?

Cisco had an arrested look on his face. "But...does that mean these things came _from_ the singularity? Barry, you never mentioned bugs in there."

"That's because there were none. There were no bugs." Barry's tone was emphatic. "And this doesn't make sense anyway; the singularity isn't like the accelerator explosion. There isn't dark matter. It doesn't just transform things."

Martin pointed at Barry. "True, but you were forced to utilize another method to enable you to cross from one world to another, different from the first time. What if the explosion ruptured another so-called bubble universe? What if it momentarily opened yet another world, and that's where it came from?"

Barry thought back to the moment of the explosion. "It's possible, I guess. My eyes were closed. But I fell hundreds of feet through the air, we were outside S.T.A.R. Labs, and I never saw anything like this. And what are the odds that that bug finds a home in S.T.A.R. Labs of all places, in our training room? The odds of that happening are astronomical." He shook his head, unable to accept such a remote possibility.

There was a moment of silence as they all considered that. Suddenly, Cisco snapped his fingers and pointed at Barry. "Gimme your suit."

"What?"

"Your suit, gimme your suit. You have the other one in the ring, it's pretty much ready to go. Gimme the other one, the one you were wearing when you came back."

Barry's face changed as he realized where Cisco was going. "Right." He zipped in and out of the room almost instantly, returning with his suit in one hand and handing it to Cisco.

"Thank you," Cisco moved to the nearest clean table and spread the suit out on top of it, then began carefully running his fingers along the seams, checking for anywhere a small stowaway could have hidden. He knew this suit; he'd built and repaired it too many times now. Barry and Martin had moved closer and were also watching carefully.

Cisco's nose was practically rubbing along the tripolymer. He took a moment to grab a pair of magnifying glasses and continued the search. After five painstaking minutes, Cisco was carefully lifting up the lightning bolt emblem on the front of the suit with a pair of tweezers. Minute bits of rubble and cement powder fell out. Cisco sifted through it, plucking out the one bit that didn't belong.

"Bingo."

He reached in with the tweezers and pulled out what looked like a tiny bit of husk, a wisp of transparent metallic fabric. After closer inspection under the microscope, and then after further analysis and comparison of the structure and elemental makeup of the husk and the two smaller metallic fragments, it was decided that they all were indeed related.

One was the outer husk of what was most likely a cocoon or egg, and it was how the bug had made its way to S.T.A.R. Labs under Barry's emblem. The others were pieces of wing from a mature bug.

Martin was buzzing with excitement. "So more than one made it through. Your bug" he pointed at Barry "is not the same one that killed our victim. And the one that killed the victim had friends."

Barry was thinking hard. "You're telling me I brought all of these things back with me?"

Martin shook his head. "No. What I'm saying is that at least two made it through with you. One was an egg; the other could have been an egg or already hatched. The second must have reproduced." All three men winced at the reality of it. It was metal, but it was alive. Biologically speaking, it must be able to reproduce in some way. "That's why there were so many, our victim must have been in the vicinity when they hatched."

Cisco made a face. "Poor guy..."

Martin continued. "The other one stayed with you, Barry. Under the emblem in your suit, hidden and unhatched. It fell out at some point and then hatched."

Barry met Cisco's gaze, both remembering the practice session with Cisco's sonic waves that concluded in Cisco breaking up the floor and throwing Barry off his feet.

"So the question is..." Cisco was speaking out loud but slowly as he found the dangling thread "did the one under Barry's suit reproduce before Barry caught it?" He looked at the other two men. "Are there more, or not?"

Barry and Martin traded looks. They both shrugged. There was no way to know.

Cisco's look was grimly satisfied. "Well. I'm glad I spent the last few days building a gun or two to take them on. I should start fine tuning those babies."

Martin nodded. "Not to mention I am terribly curious to understand how such a bug functions. It is a meta-bug of sorts, it appears to be made of metal and organic materials combined at a cellular level similar to a metahuman, but it disappears. And that is very interesting."

Barry was nodding. "It had darkness and blue light that grew around it. It looked...an awful lot like a tiny singularity, now that I think about it."

Martin's brain was on overdrive. "Fascinating! Perhaps the bug was somehow affected as it traveled through with you. Perhaps it was already this way before it came through." He sighed. "I really wish I had one to study."

Cisco laughed, picking up a large gun that had a huge barrel on it. "I'm making these things to take care of bugs like that, not keep them for pets."

Barry lifted the ring he had made from Cisco's workbench. "Is my new suit in here?"

Cisco nodded. "Maybe something will happen today and you can take it for a test drive."

Barry slipped the ring on his finger. "Maybe." He headed into the hallway and pulled out his phone.

He didn't care if it was too soon. He was texting Iris.

* * *

That evening Barry hurried down the stairs, running late as usual. He straightened his tie and jacket, breathing deep and trying not feel too nervous. But that was impossible. He was awash with jitters and nervous energy. A date. A dinner date. A dinner date with Iris. It was just so huge. He was excited and a bit terrified.

Joe looked up from the newspaper he was pretending to read, not even bothering to hide his huge grin. "Going somewhere?"

Barry gave him a mild glare from across the room. "I'm sure you've talked to Iris today."

Joe put down the paper with style. "Of course, why wouldn't I talk to my daughter?" He looked far too cheery for the conversation, and Barry was pretty sure Joe was actively trying not to burst into laughter. It was clear Joe was aware of the progress in his and Iris' relationship and heartily approved. He waited.

Joe abandoned all pretense. "Have a great time tonight Bear. It's nice to see you two in the same place finally." He was grinning so wide Barry was actually waiting for his face to crack.

"Thanks." Barry mumbled, still somewhat annoyed that Joe had been working against him. He turned to the door, then turned back for a moment. "Did you always know this was going to happen?"

Joe considered it. "I always felt you two would be perfect for each other. I watched you love her for most of your life. Then I watched her mourn your loss," he held up two fingers "twice, and it hurt to see her like that." There was a second's pause as Barry digested that. Joe shrugged. "I hoped, Barry. I just hoped." He leaned forward in his chair, his grin back in place. "But the minute she decided to go after you, yeah I knew it was going to happen. Nothing stands in the way of my girl and what she wants. Just be glad that it's you." Joe settled back in his chair, still grinning.

Any trace of Barry's lingering annoyance that everyone had been working against him faded away. This was something he'd dreamed of and wanted for years. Dating Iris West. There was no one else in the world he could imagine being with that could make him as happy as she did. And hopefully this was just the beginning. Really, it was actually nice to have so much support. He was suddenly so grateful that Iris hadn't given up and let his fear deprive them of what they should have always had.

A soft smile curved his lips. "Yeah. Guess I was just lucky." He straightened his tie one more time. "How do I look?"

Joe smiled back. "Like you're going on a date with Iris."

Barry let out a strangled laugh filled with excited tension. "I really am. Wow. I—oh I'm late!" He whooshed out the door, rustling Joe's paper with the wind that hailed his exit.

Joe settled back in his chair and straightened his paper, opening to the page he'd been on. "So late. It is about time..." The smile on his face stayed most of the night.

Barry made it to the restaurant in record time and rushed in the front door trying to push his hair back into place. He and Iris had agreed to meet, and considering he was late he was reasonably sure she was already there. He was still straightening his ruffled collar as he was led across the restaurant to a small table set against the back wall.

Iris was there, and she looked utterly breathtaking in a dress of golden tones and white. But that was nothing compared to how incredible she looked once she glanced up and smiled as she watched him approach.

That amazing smile and those beautiful eyes turned up his way, and he tripped over his own feet as he grasped the solid reality that they were meant for him. His best friend loved him, and he loved her so much he thought he might just explode with it. He was still full of excitement and nerves.

He managed to drop semi-gracefully into the chair the waiter had pulled out for him, eliciting a muffled laugh from Iris. He slid his chair in closer to the table and decided he'd better stay put for the duration. He wasn't sure he could do that again without seriously embarrassing himself.

Unfortunately, the waiter was offering him the wine list at the same time he slid forward, and with his head down he didn't notice. The heavy bound booklet smacked him across the face, making his nose smart and his eyes water as he blinked to clear them. Iris gave a startled exclamation and immediately started expressing concern as the waiter gave copious apologies. He waved them both away.

"It's fine...I'm fine..." he could feel the heat rising in his cheeks and had to resist the urge to speed out of there. He was on a date with Iris, their first date, and it was supposed to be perfect. He stared at the table, pushing down embarrassment and disappointment.

After a brief glance at Barry Iris quickly put out her hand for the wine list and took it from the waiter, who murmured one more apology before darting back toward the kitchen. She carefully laid it on the table and then put her arm on top of it, stretching her hand out in his direction. Her fingertips entered his field of vision and he looked up, peeking at her through his lashes to gauge her expression. The soft smile she was aiming his way was encouraging. He finished moving his chair up to the table and reached across with both hands, avoiding the salt and pepper shakers, the water goblets and the small candle so he could take both her hands in his. He smiled his thanks.

"I'm glad you made it." Her voice was soft but honest.

He flushed. "Sorry I'm late. Joe distracted me. I'm sorry, this is supposed to be perfect."

"It is now that you're here." Her fingers grazed over his, sliding with a gentle touch that did things to his blood pressure, rubbing the heavy gold ring he was now wearing. "I'm just glad we're here together."

"Aren't you nervous?" He couldn't believe she looked so calm.

She considered a moment. "Maybe a little bit. But I'm also really excited."

Barry's nerves began to settle somewhat. It was obvious to probably everyone in this restaurant that Iris could have whoever she wanted. But she was happy to be there with him. Whether or not he felt she could do better, he was just incredibly grateful. A smile broke out on his face. "Me too."

Iris sighed happily, then reluctantly freed one hand to flip open the wine list. "So what should we have?"

Barry shrugged. "Doesn't matter to me, it does nothing."

Iris gave him a sly glance as she giggled. "Maybe that's a good thing for you tonight."

Barry laughed, his shoulders relaxing more. "Maybe it is."

They waited for the waiter to return for their wine choice, but they seemed to have missed their opportunity. They laughed and joked about using Barry's speed to quickly locate their choice and wondered how much their absent waiter would notice. They discussed light subjects and settled into easy conversation, neither really noticing nor caring that they weren't being served.

Barry was just relaxing enough to think this could still be a perfect first date when his phone rang. He frowned and silenced it without looking at it. Iris gave his pocket a concerned look.

"Shouldn't you get it? It could be important."

As if on cue, his phone began to ring again. He gave a frustrated sigh. "No one is supposed to call! I am on a date! And it's a date with you!" She gave him a sympathetic glance, but he could see that she was also concerned about what possible problems could be happening in the city. His phone was still ringing, and it was starting to draw attention from nearby diners.

Now he knew exactly what Iris must have felt like the night before. He yanked his phone out and answered it with a terse word. "What?" His eyes met hers across the table and she gave him an understanding look.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" Caitlin's voice was closer to a wail. "There's a robbery in progress at an art museum!"

Barry gripped his phone tighter. "So? Let them have it for just one night!" But even as he was saying it Iris was leaning across the table to put her hand on his, clenched on the napkin he'd just removed from his lap.

"It's Captain Cold and his gang! I'm sorry Barry I've already called Martin but he's at home and it'll take time for him and Ronnie to merge and Cisco left to go see Laurel!"

"Why is everyone off duty tonight of all nights?" Barry was hissing his words now, beyond frustrated that his first date, _this_ first date, was being trashed past recognition.

"Barry."

His gaze came up to meet hers, expecting to see her as upset as he was. Instead she looked calm and supportive. "Go. I'll wait here. It's fine."

He stared at her, realizing Caitlin was waiting for his answer on the phone still up to his ear, and that Iris had worked her fingers into his fist and forced his fingers to relax. He wondered if it was going to be like this all their lives, trying to juggle the Flash duties with his personal life. He wondered if their relationship could take that kind of stress year after year. But right now, their first date was ruined. He had to go, and Iris was telling him to. He exhaled roughly.

"I'm on it." He hung up the phone and moved to stand.

"Barry." She reached for his hand and he moved the steps to put him right next to her chair so she could look up at him. "It's okay. Be safe."

He leaned down and kissed her briefly, keeping it far more chaste than he wanted to simply because he knew if he kissed her the way he wanted to he'd never leave. Well, that and they were in a very public place.

He murmured his next words. "I'll be right back." Then he quickly crossed the restaurant, heading for the back exit.

Iris checked her watch.

* * *

 Barry was out the back entrance in a second and raised his ring, pointing it in front of him. He didn't want to waste a second; he needed to get back as fast as possible.

"Well, time to see if this works."

Lightning crackled in his eyes, and out sprang his new suit. He zipped into it and looked down at himself, impressed that Cisco had managed to make it so roomy and still fit well. The color was lighter and in a fit of fashion designer diva, Cisco had changed the flash emblem to white with gold. He really _had_ liked that aspect of the future newspaper article.

Barry started running and checked his new comm. "Testing...are you there?"

"Here." Caitlin still sounded guilty. The reminder of his ruined date did nothing to improve his mood. He accelerated as she gave him the address.

Barry raced to the proper museum and burst through the doors. He knew he was running late, he had wasted precious minutes arguing because he really didn't want to be here. Fortunately, his somewhat late arrival had left Cold's team perplexed and off guard. At that very moment Cold was re-checking his watch, very confused. Golden Glider was eyeing extra art pieces across the room.

Heatwave was next to the door, arguing about leaving. Barry's arrival slammed the door into his face full force, knocking him cold. He reeled backwards, headed for the floor.

"I—"

The sound of Heatwave's gun skidding across the floor caught Cold's ears, but the screeching sound of furniture being moved was drowned out by Barry's next word.

"WAS—"

Barry was already at Golden Glider, disarming her and running her up a wall to hang from a high chandelier.

"ON—"

Barry nabbed Cold's gun out of his hands and put it with the other two, but where that was Cold had no idea, he was already in motion flying backwards.

"A—"

His newly acquired artworks disappeared out of his other hand.

"DATE—"

Cold found himself slapped against a wall with an _oof_ sound, Barry's hands lifting him off the ground, his finger still attempting to pull the trigger of a gun he was no longer holding.

"COLD!"

Barry's words were punctuated by a squeal as Lisa realized where she was now hanging. Barry was breathing hard, more in frustration than exertion. Cold smiled, cool as ever in the face of such emotion. Even with a spectacular defeat added to his tally, he had missed squaring off against the Flash. He was the only one who presented a challenge these days. But Cold wasn't going to admit that he was now facing jail time because the Flash's lateness had actually led him to disappointment and worry that the speedster would no longer present a challenge for him. He should have been gone fifty-four seconds ago. His hesitation had led to this. He hung a few inches off the floor in Barry's grip and had to admit he was glad to see his foe returned to his hero antics in Central City. He smirked in Barry's face.

"Looks like you're really into this girl. Shall we expect a happy announcement soon? Perhaps the pitter patter of little flashy feet?"

There was no way Barry was going to answer that. His eyes narrowed as he stared Cold down. The creaking of the chandelier gently swinging above them, complete with a dangling Lisa Snart, became audible. Barry could have sworn Mick Rory was snoring in his position over by the door. Police sirens were wailing in the distance. Caitlin's voice came over his comm.

"Barry I'm sorry! There's a boat capsizing in the bay with people on board! Rescue boats won't make it in time!"

"You gotta be kidding me." Barry's tone was resigned now. Cold quickly capitalized on the opportunity.

"Other problems tonight? Shame. You might never get back to your date. What do you say we call it a draw this time, huh?"

Despite his intense desire to get back to Iris, Barry wasn't willing to let a group of dangerous criminals go free. But a boat full of endangered people was another story. He pushed Cold back against the wall and let go as he stepped back. He glanced up at the chandelier, then over at the unconscious and yes, he was quietly snoring, Mick Rory.

"Tell you what. If you can get your friends out of here before the cops arrive, you'll get off easy this time. Good luck with that." He couldn't help grinning as he zipped out the door.

"Hey where'd you put my gun?" Cold yelled after him, then shook his head. He hated to admit it, but the Flash had him this time. He couldn't leave without his sister. Or his gun. Or Mick, but he was slightly more flexible on that one. He tossed a glance over at Mick and realized why he'd heard the sound of furniture screeching during Barry's arrival. The Flash had moved a couch to catch Mick and break his fall. He shook his head, tempted to laugh.

"Lenny, get me down!" Lisa's voice was starting to sound panicked.

"Yeah, I got it." He moved to the couch. He'd dump Mick out and use it to break a bigger fall. Then they needed their guns and a quick escape, he could hear the sirens getting closer.

Barry zipped through town and out onto the bay, ever aware of each passing second. He needed to be done. He needed to get back...

The boat was easy to see, too far out on the water for boaters to attempt swimming to land, especially now that night was falling. The boat was yacht-sized and in serious trouble. Smoke was pouring out the back, probably from the engine room, and Barry was pretty sure it was taking on water rapidly by the way it was already listing to one side.

He ran up the side, stopped on the railing and braced against the considerable angle that was only getting steeper to survey the panicked people. They were clustered together, unsure what to do. It looked like two families, four adults and six children of varying ages. He heaved a sigh.

"Really guys, you picked a bad night for sailing."

The boat was now rapidly tipping as the passengers became aware of his presence, clearly taking on water at a quickly accelerating rate. He wasted no time moving them off it.

The boat was tipped completely by the time he had carried everyone to shore. It rolled to its side and sank into the waters as Barry carried the last two passengers, a boy and girl of around six, to their waiting families. He handed them a flare he'd grabbed from the boat to signal the approaching rescue boats and emergency land vehicles.

"Okay. You good? You all good?" They nodded, silent and wet. Barry knew he was twitchy, really wanting to leave, but he still needed to make sure he did the job right. He leaned to the side and checked to make sure the ambulance in the distance was almost there. "Good, good. Light that flare." One of the parents obeyed. "Okay. Gotta go."

One of the kids piped up. "Thank you, Flash."

He spared a moment to stop and really smile at the kid. "Happy to help."

He moved away from the group and back across town. "Caitlin?"

"Yes?" Her tone was very meek.

"Taken care of, please don't tell me you have any more emergencies."

"I don't I promise, and Martin will be here any moment so Firestorm can handle anything else that comes up."

"Good. I'm turning my comm off."

"Say hi to Iris for me."

And he was off, racing back to the restaurant, faster and faster, back to Iris, getting back to their date his only thought—until he entered the alley behind the restaurant, ready to change and go back inside, and saw an armored truck in the process of being robbed instead.

One security guard was on the ground, hopefully only wounded but definitely unconscious. Another was in the process of handing a bag of valuables out of the truck to two armed men wearing ski masks.

"Oh come on!" He honestly couldn't keep it in. It was ridiculous how badly this night was going.

His words startled the group, but he was already moving toward them.

"I do not have time for this guys." He yanked a gun from each hand of the would-be robbers.

"Can't you pick another night?" The guard was zipped out of the truck and placed on the pavement, still holding the bag of valuables.

"I have something important to get back to." Both robbers were now tied up and dropped in the armored car. Barry slammed the doors shut. "I am so done!"

He was still facing the truck, about to turn so he could check on the fallen guard, when an attack from behind slammed his head into the doors hard. He slid to the ground, dazed, and rolled to his back. He blinked, trying to clear his vision for the second time that night, but having less blurry vision only afforded him a glimpse of the security guard who had been holding the bag of valuables. He didn't look very happy to have been rescued, in fact he was so unhappy about it that he wrapped his hands around Barry's throat and began to squeeze.

"Sorry, Flash, you weren't supposed to be here. But you are definitely done."

It became very obvious very quickly that this robbery had been part of an inside job, and the guard was part of the group. He would have been angry at himself for missing possible clues due to his anxious rush to get back to Iris, but he didn't have time because he was too busy trying to pry the ever-tightening fingers off his throat. He wriggled and heaved, trying to find enough oxygen to do something with his speed, when the crashing sound of glass distracted him. The guard slumped forward, accompanied by dark liquid with a familiar smell and shards of broken glass. They showered over Barry and his attacker. Barry took a few much-needed gulps of air and looked up to see who was now standing over him.

Iris was standing there, holding the broken neck of a wine bottle and looking very worried. "Are you okay?" Her white and gold dress was the only bright thing in the alley, and yet she still looked like she belonged right there with him, taking out bad guys.

He realized what the smell was and began to laugh, pushing the guard off of him so he could sit up and shake off shards of wine bottle and drops of what smelled like an excellent Merlot. "I thought you were going to wait for me."

She gave him an impish smile. "I got bored. I was going to come out and text Caitlin to see if you were done and I nabbed us a bottle on my way since that waiter clearly does not want his tip. I heard your voice out here. Is that your new suit?" She held up what was left of the wine bottle, chewing on her bottom lip looking slightly apologetic, but not really. "I may have just christened it."

He was still sitting on the ground, reeking of fine wine, and he couldn't help laughing again. All his nervousness and anxiety about their date, about its perfection, and Iris being able to handle his Flash duties slipped out of his mind. Everything was going to be fine. He grinned up at her. "They're going to give our table away, you know. Maybe we should do something else."

"Sounds good to me I'm not impressed with the service here." She was grinning too. "They might charge us for the bottle though."

Barry stood up and brushed himself off. "That's okay. Cisco used his card to reserve the table for me. I'll pay him back. Maybe."

Iris laughed. "Serves him right, leaving town the night of our first date. He should know better."

Barry couldn't help kissing her quickly, careful not to rub wine on her dress, before turning his attention to both guards. "Just give me a minute to take care of these guys?"

"You bet." She stepped back, still holding the broken bottle neck. "I'll meet you out front." She headed around the building, calmly dropping the sharp glass into a dumpster as she went.

Barry watched her go, his mouth twitching with something close to awe and amusement mixed together. He felt so much better all of a sudden. God, she was amazing. He looked down at the fallen guard/robber she'd knocked out. "See, that's who I was heading back to. Can you blame me?"

* * *

 After quickly dropping the injured guard at the hospital and the three thieves into police custody, Barry speed cleaned his suit and replaced it back in the ring. He was still fluffing his hair as he met Iris by the front doors of the restaurant. He lost his breath once he spotted her again, looking so beautiful, especially once she saw him as well and her face lit up with a smile.

"Hey," he realized how breathless he sounded and decided he didn't care.

"Hey," she beamed up at him, obviously very happy he was back and safe. Her eyes roamed up and down, making sure of it, and he could feel himself flushing but couldn't resist doing the same. "So do you have any ideas for what we should do now?"

Barry considered, looking her up and down again. "What do you say we get you out of that dress?"

"What?!" Her eyes popped wide, out of shock or excitement she wasn't even sure.

Barry looked at her a moment. "You might want to change clothes before we go to where I was thinking." Understanding hit a second too late. His face instantly heated up as he realized how it had sounded. "I mean, I was thinking maybe we should go bowling, unless that's too lame...I mean we used to do that all the time, maybe that's not special enough..."

She giggled, moving a step closer to put her hands on his chest as she laughed at him but tried to console him at the same time. "Bowling sounds great. I'm too keyed up after whacking a thief with a wine bottle." She pushed up on her toes to kiss him, and he eagerly kissed her back. She grabbed his hand and led him to her car.

An hour later they were both in casual clothes, egging each other on at the bowling alley. Barry hefted his ball and moved into place.

"No cheating!" Iris was grinning behind him, her eyes bright. They were both deep into their competitive game, falling into comfortable banter.

Barry turned back to look at her and narrowed his eyes in a mock threatening way. "I don't have to cheat to beat you."

"Uh-huh." Her eyes were sparkling with suppressed laughter, and he knew they both were thinking about the time in high school before there was digital scorekeeping, when he'd fudged the numbers on his scoresheet in an attempt to win and she'd caught him at it. In his defense, his pride had still been smarting from the disastrous tryouts for the football team.

He shrugged that off as he turned again to take his turn, grateful that he was much better coordinated now than he ever had been before he got super speed. He lifted his ball and approached the lane and was just bending over to release it when a loud "Woowoo!" echoed from their table. He ruined his play and watched the ball hit the gutter on its way to the pins.

When he finally turned back to her, Iris was covering her mouth with both hands, probably to muffle the laughter spilling out. It didn't seem to help. He could tell that she hadn't planned to ruin his turn that badly, and she was torn between amusement and actually feeling sorry. But it did look like the amusement was winning. He gave her a threatening look as he moved back to the table, refraining from commenting until after the waitress had brought his third order of fries and departed.

"That was playing dirty, Iris."

"Couldn't help it. I liked what I saw." He stared at her across the table. She nibbled one of his fries nervously, still giggling occasionally. Finally she swallowed and tipped her head towards the ball return.

"Your ball is back. I'll be good, I promise."

"Uh-huh." Now he was torn between sheer embarrassment and amazed delight at her comment. He grabbed a fry and some ketchup, then headed back up to try again.

Iris watched him go, her mind wandering.

Walking in to the bowling alley (which thankfully, had been sold and was now under new management instead of closed forever) had given her a small pang at first. The last time she'd been here it had been with Eddie and they had bowled with Barry and Linda. It had saddened her to think of Eddie for a moment. He was a good man and he hadn't deserved what happened to him. Even recalling that evening had made her feel guilty when she remembered how she had been competitive and teasing Barry but was confused later when Eddie barely spoke to her the rest of the night. Eddie had felt the difference between her and Barry long before she truly acknowledged it. She had felt terrible, and the next day when Barry confronted her about her feelings for him at Jitters she had over-reacted, trying desperately to be loyal and deny that there was any kind of inner struggle going on. Then Eddie had punched Barry and she had felt even worse. She had deeply suspected that Caitlin's entire lightning psychosis story had been a massive fabrication, but Eddie had believed it and she had let herself go with it too because it made everything more simple. She felt guilty now thinking of Eddie, and how she just didn't feel like she'd loved him enough, even though she had tried.

But once she and Barry got their shoes on and started their game, the most recent occasion and thoughts of Eddie had been overwhelmed with memories of growing up here with Barry. All the evenings and weekends spent here, all the competitiveness and fun, all the laughter. The time Barry had gone one step too far and hit the slick floor of the bowling lane, causing him to do an ungainly splits and fall to the floor, whacking himself with the bowling ball still on his fingers. The time he'd taken her bowling to cheer her up after her hospital stay when her appendix burst, but carried her ball up to the lane every turn and insisted she use the children's bowling rack because she shouldn't be lifting anything heavy. Arguing good-naturedly about score, posture, and advantages.

Those memories had combined with her feelings for Barry now, and it seemed perfectly fitting that she could sit at the table and appreciate the view presented when Barry bent over to release his bowling ball, that she could be competitive like they always had been but still recognize a heat added to it that had never been there before. That she could feel that he was the man she loved and was attracted to and her best friend all wrapped up in one.

Eddie had been wonderful, and she had truly loved him, but she hadn't realized until much later that she loved Barry with everything in her. Their shared past and deep friendship helped to smooth away her grief and pain over recent events and look to the future with hope and deep gratitude.

She was so glad their chance to be together hadn't been ruined entirely.

Barry got a strike and whirled with his arms in the air, ready to rub it in her face. He practically pranced back to the table. Iris stood up as he approached but before he could say a word she had grabbed his face and kissed him hard.

All thoughts of bragging went right out of his head. Iris pulled back and smiled at him. "What was that for?" He wasn't sure he really cared, but it seemed appropriate to ask.

"Thanks for choosing us."

He melted into a smile. "You too."

She moved up to take her turn, and when she had her spare and moved back to the table Barry was almost done with his fries and considering another order. He smiled up at her, ketchup on the corner of his mouth, and she couldn't resist cleaning it off him, just like she always had.

Except she did it in a way she had never done it before. When she was done, Barry had to resist the urge to daub ketchup all over his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LOL I love first dates! Special thanks to ishipit87 for suggesting the idea that criminal activity gets in the way and makes Barry cranky. I had so much fun with that! It was so long ago you don't remember it, but it was totally your idea! Thank you!  
> So now we see that the singularity is still a bit of an issue and we'll see more about that soon, plus a few more surprises! :D


	28. Mirror Image

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New changes for Barry, Iris and the Flash

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! So sorry it took so long to get this out, life has been stealing my writing time. Thanks for reading I hope you enjoy it! :D

 

 

A streak of light moved through the city, approaching downtown at rapid speed.

"Eight seconds." Gideon's voice came in through Barry's comm.

"Right." He increased his pace.

"Thermal indicators show the bomb is located in the west corner office on the twenty-seventh floor."

He was already in the stairwell, on the twenty-sixth. "Thanks."

He burst into a busy office workplace, startling everyone. Papers flew into the air as he whooshed past them, headed into the corner office. An innocent-looking package was sitting on the desk, a middle-aged woman poised to open it. In a blink it disappeared from her desk as Barry grabbed it and headed for the roof.

"Three seconds."

"I got this."

He made it to the roof and began running circles.

"One second."

"Don't worry, Gideon." He made one last circle and used all his built up momentum to hurl the box into the air. It sailed away from the building, which thankfully was the tallest one around, and exploded. The fireball could be seen from miles around, the shock waves rattling the windows. Harmless pieces of debris floated and swirled in the air.

Barry breathed a sigh of relief.

"Barry Allen, there are reports of a metahuman attacking the public at the mall."

"Well that didn't last long." He headed back down. "Where?"

"Southeast corner entrance, in the food court."

Barry was already halfway there. "What do his powers seem to be?"

"The reports mention fireballs flying."

"So he can throw fireballs with his hands? Well that's just great..."

Cisco's voice came over the comm system. "Barry, did you—"

"—get the report of the fireball-throwing metahuman at the mall? Already on it.

"Oh. Good." Cisco was obviously unsure how to proceed next. "Well, since Gideon has you covered, do you want some help?"

"Sure, if you can get here fast enough."

Cisco sighed. "That does seem to be the challenge."

Barry heard Cisco leave the comm system and focused on the mall entrance he was about to enter. "Gideon?"

"Fireball headed your way, Barry Allen." She sounded calm as ever.

"What? Whoa!"

He barely got the words out before a fireball exploded through the mall doors, shattering glass and twisting metal in its path. Barry barely escaped being hit by it as it flew past him, close enough to feel the heat radiating off it. He watched it land ten feet away and then zipped up to get a closer view as it burned into the pavement. It was the size of a basketball and still burning brightly. He leaned closer and gingerly nudged it with a toe. Good thing his boots were flame resistant. He put out his hand, and Gideon's face appeared in his cupped palm.

"That's not just fire is it?"

Gideon responded immediately. "Preliminary analysis shows the substance to be flaming tar."

"Great." Barry watched Gideon disappear and then flexed his fingers and shoulders, preparing.

"Guide me in."

He headed into the fray with Gideon giving necessary directions. He began clearing out terrified mall workers and shoppers who were hiding from the flying fireballs, unable to make an escape. Anyone else with a clear route to run had already left the premises.

"Barry Allen, two civilians detected to your left behind the counter."

Barry dodged another fireball, laughing as it landed in a deep fryer, of all places. "Nice aim, buddy!" The metahuman was less pleased and threw two more fireballs at him as he grabbed the two food court workers and moved them to safety.

In less than a minute Barry had cleared the area and was facing a very angry and dangerous fireball-throwing metahuman. He could hear police sirens and cars screeching to a halt outside. They stared at each other across broken and burning tables, warily circling each other. Barry was watching closely for another fireball.

Barry figured he had about thirty seconds before cops came bursting through what used to be mall doors, and the last thing he needed was more possible victims to worry about. He was just about to ask for suggestions from Gideon when her voice came in as if on cue.

"Barry Allen, there are two fire extinguishers in this area, one on the left and one by the exit. The tar is formed as a ball in his hands until he ignites it."

"Right. Thanks." In as many seconds he had two extinguishers in his hands and was headed for the other man, dodging fireballs as he went. He zigged and zagged until he was finally right up in the man's space. The metahuman's hands were outstretched, already forming a new ball of tar soon to become a fireball. Time slowed for Barry as he moved into place, stuck a fire extinguisher onto each ball of tar, and moved back.

The action was so fast that the metahuman was still completing the action by the time he realized what Barry had done. His dawning comprehension didn't stop the igniting of the tar balls, and in turn the fire extinguishers.

The explosion that came next wasn't a fiery one. Instead it was a burst of white chemicals as the fire extinguishers burst and filled the air with their contents. Barry ducked his head and put up his arms to shield his face, looking up once the air had cleared somewhat to check on the other man.

The close range of the explosion had knocked him to the ground, and while he was still weakly trying to ignite the tar on his hands, it was clear that the fire extinguisher contents were making that impossible. White powder was descending everywhere, coating and smothering the burning wreckage, both men, and the police officers entering the space with their guns drawn.

"Barry Allen, the police have arrived." Gideon's tone hadn't changed the entire time.

Barry laughed. "Yeah, thanks." He waved at the entering police and let them take the metahuman into their custody, advising on how to make sure he did not become able to use his powers again until safely incarcerated.

He was just about to leave when a burst of sonic wave cleared the area of all powder, and Cisco was standing there in his Vibe suit and visor. He looked disgruntled as he surveyed the scene and departing policemen.

"I see you've handled it. Next time you want my help you need to help me get here. Traffic was awful and I keep missing everything!"

Barry stifled a grin and nodded. "That's fair, sorry. I'm still getting used to Gideon pretty much doing your job, I forget."

"Tell me about it. This is still really weird." Cisco turned with a sigh. "Well, time to go fight the traffic again."

Barry was staring at one of the few uncharred menus over a counter. "Lunch sounds good..." He was supposed to meet Iris for lunch today. Just thinking about it made him smile.

Again as if on cue, Gideon's voice was there. "Barry Allen, you are supposed to meet Iris West-Allen for lunch in three minutes."

"Thanks Gideon." He refrained from correcting the A.I. on the proper name for Iris, since it did little good. Gideon stubbornly refused to overwrite that name. Besides, it had a nice ring to it. He headed out and back to S.T.A.R. Labs.

He was almost there when an idea occurred to him. "Gideon, can you give me a location for Iris?"

"Of course, Barry Allen. According to her cell phone signal she is in the main hallway of S.T.A.R. Labs."

Barry grinned. "Perfect."

* * *

Iris moved down the hallway, her attention mostly on her phone as she reviewed facts on her latest article. The whoosh of air that lifted her hair was the only warning before she was lifted off her feet, raced a short distance, then let down again. Barry was standing in front of her, hands still on her shoulders, grinning in his suit.

"Hi beautiful, you here to see me?"

She laughed up at him, running her hands up his biceps to his shoulders. "Maybe. You haven't seen my boyfriend around here have you?"

He pretended to think. "You know, I think I might have. Let's see..." He moved to kiss her, backing her into the wall behind them and pushing her up against it. She eagerly returned the kiss, her hands moving over his shoulders to pull him close as she enjoyed the feeling of him pressed up against her.

It was a few minutes before either came up for air. Barry's head moved back enough for him to remove his hood and smile down at her. Iris gave him a grin and a mock surprised look. "Oh! There he is."

Barry chuckled and put both hands on the wall behind her so he could lean down and kiss his way up her neck. She shivered in delight. He nibbled her earlobe and stole another quick kiss.

"Let me just change and put Gideon back and we can go." His hand slid down the wall and activated the time vault. The door opened next to them. He stood back with a regretful look and sigh then entered the time vault. Gideon's voice came in.

"Barry Allen, I am detecting increased vital signs."

"Yeeah, you know the reason for that, Gideon."

Iris leaned her head back against the wall with a happy sound, unable to keep the wide smile from her face.

It had been a month since their first date, and things between them had just gotten better and better. Initially Barry had been a bit timid, as if unsure it was really going to last. Gradually his disbelieving amazement had given way to pure happiness and confidence. He had become more sure of himself, Iris and their relationship, and as a result their already strong connection had only become stronger. It was a satisfying thing to see Barry's confidence as the Flash merge into his personal life, but that was nothing compared to how being with him felt. The past month had been a rush of exhilarating bliss. She pushed off the wall and entered the time vault too.

Barry was standing at the other end, still in his suit. A small column had risen from the floor in front of Gideon's back wall. Barry was preparing to put Gideon into her usual place, removed from the suit once more. Cisco had made special allowances for Gideon to function in Barry's suit and be able to talk to him through the comms, but it made moving her more tricky. He made sure the column was done rising, since Cisco had specifically told him that removing Gideon from his suit without an appropriate slot to place her into was a definite "Absolute, unqualified, non-negotiable no no." It was Barry's suit or the time vault, they were the only two acceptable locations the team had. He breathed out a breath, then placed his hand on the emblem of the suit and summoned the speed force.

Lightning crackled in his eyes, and Gideon was removed from the slot Cisco had specially designed for her under the emblem and replaced in the slot that was her usual home with access to all of S.T.A.R. Labs. Her face flickered to life on the back wall, and then she assumed her human form. Barry smiled at her. "Good work today, Gideon. Thanks."

"My pleasure, Barry Allen," She blinked at him slowly, her mouth curved in a smile that grew wider as she addressed Iris standing behind him. "Good afternoon, Iris West-Allen."

Iris moved forward several steps, wrapping her arms around Barry's waist. "Good afternoon, Gideon." She had quite a soft spot for this A.I. now. "You're looking very luminous today."

Barry chuckled. Gideon smiled in reply and suddenly reverted to a security camera screen. Cisco was exiting his car. "Barry Allen, Cisco Ramon has arrived back at S.T.A.R. Labs."

"Oh, thanks Gideon. I need to ask him something real quick. Just a minute." He squeezed Iris' hand and zipped out the door. Iris watched him go and turned back to Gideon, looking back over her shoulder to make sure Barry had left. She'd been waiting for this opportunity.

"Gideon, can I ask you something, woman to woman?"

Gideon instantly reverted back to her feminine form, mirroring Iris' stance. "Of course, Iris West-Allen."

Iris hid a smile. "Well, it's about the future."

"I must warn you that having knowledge of your personal future can be dangerous, Iris West-Allen."

Iris rushed to reply. "I know, I know. I don't want you to look up anything, but I was just wondering...based on your knowledge of this timeline and other timelines, do you—" she drew a deep breath and pushed forward "do you think that Barry and I are destined to lose each other?" She bit her lower lip as she waited for a reply.

Gideon's head tilted to one side as she considered. "My calculations based on all available evidence is that you and Barry Allen are destined to find one another."

Iris absorbed that. It wasn't quite what she feared, but it wasn't perfect either. She moved a few steps closer to Gideon, as if she were a real person instead of an artificial intelligence. "So you're saying that the pattern is that even if we lose each other, we still eventually...find each other?"

Gideon smiled, blinking. "Yes."

Iris smiled back, a feeling of peace settling in her chest. Her next words were heartfelt and serious. "Thank you, Gideon."

Gideon nodded. "Of course."

Barry entered the small room. He quickly changed out of his suit and replaced it in the ring he always wore on his finger. "Okay, one more thing and we can go." He stopped suddenly, taking in the real woman and the hologram standing so close to her. He had never realized they were both the same height. He smiled at them both as he approached. "Gideon, is it possible for you to see into other timelines _and_ worlds?"

Gideon shook her head, regretful. "It is not possible to see what occurs in other worlds due to the different frequency that separates them."

Barry nodded, shrugging. "Yeah, I kind of thought so. Just checking. Thanks Gideon."

"Of course." Gideon was still standing next to Iris. Barry looked between the two of them again, a flicker of something in the back of his mind.

Iris touched his arm. "Why are you asking that, is something wrong?"

"Cisco just wondered. That dream he had still has him a little freaked out. Thanks Gideon."

Gideon signed off as they turned to leave.

As they walked down the hallway Iris still had a worried look on her face. "Do you think the bugs and his dream are related?"

"I don't know. It's looking more and more likely that the bugs came from the singularity we used to get me here. Cisco is sure the clicking sound in his dream were the bugs, but we still don't know if the voice was me or Barry from the other world. If Gideon could see anything over there it would be helpful."

"It's too bad she can't. You haven't ghosted recently have you?" Iris had been filled in on all of Barry's time travel antics surrounding their kiss.

Barry shook his head. "No, and I don't want to. I mean I can't control it, but if I do it means..." His voice faded away as he swallowed hard, afraid to verbalize the idea that he could accidentally undo everything they had fought so hard to achieve together.

Iris stepped in front of him and brought them both to a halt. "You haven't ghosted. If you do, you tell me right away." He nodded, drawing a shaky breath. "It's going to be okay, Bear." She rose up to kiss him soundly and he grabbed her like a drowning man clinging to his last hope, urgent and hungry. Iris pushed him lightly so that he was the one backed against the wall now and he went willingly, eager to have more of her. He was slumped a bit which perfectly compensated for their height difference. She rose on her toes to put both hands on his face and held it still, planting teasing nips on his lips, murmuring in between. "I love you...Barry...Allen..."

He sighed, his eyes half closed. "Iris...I love you too."

She grinned at him. " I love the way you say my name..." Their lips met again—

"AH! Guys, come on, do that in the time vault or something some of us have to go a long ways to see our girlfriend!" Cisco was standing down the hallway, looking indignant and clutching a tablet with more strength than necessary.

They didn't spring apart, but Iris could feel the heat rush to her own cheeks as she watched the same steadily climb Barry's neck and face. "Sorry, Cisco."

Barry mumbled something similar but it was far less intelligible.

"Okay, then. As long as we're clear." Cisco gave them a stern look. He moved past them and they quickly left for lunch. Once he was sure they were gone he brought the tablet away from his chest and looked down at it. Laurel was grinning at him. "Sorry about that, some people just don't have any chill."

She gave him a knowing grin. "You're just jealous and you know it."

The expression on his face made it perfectly clear that he was jealous and he did know it. "I know..."

She smiled again. "I know how you feel. Too bad you can't make it down for a visit, I'm swamped here..." She gave him a teasing smile, but he knew her well enough to make out the underlying seriousness. She looked like she needed some Cisco time.

Cisco grinned at the tablet. "I'll be on my way down after I'm done here."

She smiled brightly, relieved. "I can't wait." He moved to disconnect their chat, but her voice stopped him. "And Cisco?"

"Yeah?"

"Bring your suit." She winked.

He couldn't decide if that meant they'd be out fighting crime together or if she wanted it for other reasons. If he was honest with himself, either was fine. "Sure."

She put two fingers to her lips and placed them on her screen.

* * *

_2 days later_

It was a lazy Saturday and they were relaxing together, snuggled close, still in their pajamas. Iris relished the feeling of Barry's arms wrapped around her and pressed back against his chest. His arms tightened briefly, the firm pressure making her feel safe and content as he kissed her temple. This was quickly becoming one of her favorite places.

Barry had come to the same conclusion. He spent so much time running and going faster that sometimes he forgot to slow down. Life with Iris in it as his girlfriend had helped him focus and slow down. He hadn't felt so relaxed in a very long time. He could finally understand why Barry in the other world had seemed more laid back and confident. Iris West centered Barry Allen in a way no one else quite could.

The sounds of city life drifted in through the cracked window of her apartment, but it still felt like they were the only ones in existence. Their silence was comfortable, as it always had been between them, and Iris allowed her mind to wander freely. When she broke the silence her voice emerged soft but steady.

"Do you think Eddie knew he and I were doomed?"

There was a moment's pause. Barry pushed up on one arm to get a better look at her face. She rolled to her back as he did, gazing up at him. His face was soft and concerned. "What do you mean?"

They had decided soon after they started dating that there had to be complete openness in their relationship about everything, even Eddie, feelings, and anything else that might usually be awkward between a couple with so much history. After several discussions dealing with sensitive and emotional topics Iris knew that Barry wouldn't panic or become upset discussing Eddie. He was a part of her past and Barry respected that. But it didn't make the words come easier right then.

"He said he always knew there were three people in our relationship. I knew it was temporary when he came back. Do you think he did? Do you...think he killed himself because he knew it wouldn't work out long term?"

Her eyes were glimmering as she considered it, and Barry realized that she still harbored guilt over her actions during that time. His hand not supporting himself went to her cheek, cupping it gently while her hand slid up his chest to feel his warmth through the thin t-shirt he wore.

"No. No..." His thumb ran back and forth, caressing her skin gently. "Eddie...Eddie just knew that if he died you would still be taken care of. He wanted a life with you for as long as he could, he loved you. But he was willing to sacrifice that to keep you alive. I can understand that, I would have done the same. He died as the man you chose. Your hero. If it came to it, that's...that's how I'd want to go too. He knew you loved him." He smiled into her face, a sad tinge to it, but filled with empathy and understanding.

The sheer honesty in their relationship moved her to tears. She didn't feel that she had to hide that she had loved Eddie, that she still had doubts about past events. She didn't want to think badly of the dead, but she knew she never would have been able to address this with Eddie if the situation had been flipped. Barry was still warm and safe, her best friend and confidante, and now her lover as well. Not even as friends had they managed this kind of emotional intimacy. Her hand moved up to his face.

"I love you, Bear. You make me so happy."

"You do the same for me. I never want to lose you."

He still got that scared look in his eye once in a while, and she could see it as he replied. She kissed it away, wrapping her arms around him. Relief and happiness and guilt and grief for all the hurt caused to all of them writhed inside her. She pressed her face against his shoulder and tried not to cry. Her voice emerged muffled. "I'm so sorry, Barry—"

"No." His voice was still gentle. "No, remember? I have just as much to be sorry for. I've pulled some really stupid moves. Come on, you know it's true..." his voice adopted a teasing tone.

Iris gave a muffled laugh. "It's true."

Barry gave an approving nod. "So we're going to put it behind us and look to the future. To us."

She nodded, head still buried in his shoulder. "To us. Choose to be happy."

"Right." His smile was open and adoring as she finally raised her head to look him in the face. Their kiss was long and sweet and full of acceptance and love.

They were settled back on the bed, Iris curled into his side, his hand absently rubbing her shoulder, when he spoke next. "When I forget again and try to apologize you'll remind me too, right?"

Iris laughed softly. "That's what I'm here for."

"Oh good. I have a feeling we're both going to need constant reminding for a while."

They laughed together. It was a good feeling.

* * *

The following day Barry went to Iron Heights to visit Henry. They smiled at each other through the glass and chatted about recent developments. Toward the end of their allotted time Henry leaned forward and peered at him through the glass.

"You look good, son. Better than I've seen you in a while."

Barry shrugged. "A lot has happened lately."

Henry's gaze was keen. "Do you remember what I asked you, the first time you visited after you got back?"

Barry's brows came together. "No, not really."

"I asked you if you found what you were looking for, and you said you thought you had."

Barry faintly recalled the memory. "Yeah, and then you said—"

"I said better late than never." Henry's eyes were twinkling. "I know you inside and out, son, and I could tell things had changed but you weren't quite where you needed to be. But I've learned how to be patient and watch. So, tell me again. Did you find what you were looking for?"

Barry didn't realize that his eyes glowed with happiness as he thought back on the last month with Iris. He had no idea that his face looked both softer and stronger than it had ever appeared before. He was only faintly aware of the soft smile that turned his mouth up. But he knew exactly what his next words should be.

"Yes. Yes I have."

Henry sat back, satisfied through and through. "Good. Then I'll say it again. Better late than never, son."

Barry laughed. "Thanks Dad."

* * *

 

Barry was on his way home when he glanced over and saw himself looking back, keeping pace with him, movements exactly the same.

He was ghosting.

"No, no no..." His stomach dropped, pure panic flooding his veins. Without thinking he screeched to a halt, unwilling to keep running if it meant he was going to time travel in the near future.

"Oh God. Oh no.." He looked around.

That was when he realized he was running next to a building with plate glass windows, all perfectly mirroring him as he ran.

"Oh thank God, thank God..." He tottered back on weak legs to lean against the windows. Relief battled the shock racing through his system, rendering him immobile for a solid minute. Finally he was calm enough to start running again and get home, where Iris was waiting to have dinner with Joe and him. He really needed to see her right now. He hadn't ghosted. It was okay. Everything was okay. It dawned somewhere in the back of his mind how almost a year ago he'd been desperate enough to travel back in time to change this timeline, and now he was so desperate to keep it. Another world of perspective and a girlfriend named Iris West in this one could do that to you.

But even though he had dodged this bullet he still felt like something bad was going to happen. Things felt too wonderful to last very long.

* * *

Barry squinted in the howling wind, turning this way and that. He could barely see anything. Shadows and swirling objects were all around him, continually moving around and threatening to sweep him off his feet. He held up an arm to shield his eyes, hearing the clickety clack and the distant screams that told him he was almost out of time.

But he had to try.

"Cisco! Cisco! Can you hear me?" He listened. Nothing. He tried again. "Cisco, your world is in danger! You're in danger, Cisco!"

The sounds of screaming became too much. He was out of time. They all were. He felt his way back carefully.

"Barry, help! They're everywhere!" Harrison was leaning over him where he lay on a bed in the med bay. His frantic voice was punctuated by Tess racing into the room, screaming.

"Harrison help!" There was a meta bug directly behind her.

Barry leaped off the bed and made a quick air funnel, slamming the bug into the wall. None of the trio looked at it as it stuck to the wall and began fluttering its wings faster and faster, eventually disappearing with a piece of the wall. They'd already seen it before.

Tess and Harrison were looking at Barry. Harrison spoke as he quickly looked his wife over to make sure she was unharmed. "Did you make contact? Did you warn them?"

Barry was removing the anklet that helped him find the right frequency. "I don't know. I tried. I never got an answer."

A distant boom caught all of their attention, like an explosion somewhere in S.T.A.R. Labs.

They all looked at one another, each one understanding the severity of the situation they were facing. Barry pulled his hood on and turned to Harrison. "Call my wife. Tell her to stay inside. Then meet me out in the parking lot."

He zipped out of the room. Harrison pulled out his phone. Tess had a hand over her mouth, unsure who to worry about first.

"But Harrison, what about Bear? What about his world?"

Harrison gave her a grim look as he dialed, still very aware of the ever-increasing clicking sound.

"I'm afraid they're on their own."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaand things are getting crazy again! I'm hoping to have the next chapter out by the weekend, as long as life cooperates. So it won't be be nearly as long of a wait this time around. This fic is starting to wrap up but there are at least 2 or 3 chapters to go. Thanks for reading! :)


	29. Tickle Bugs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Iris and Barry are happy, so naturally everything goes pear-shaped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Sorry it's been almost a week. This one is extra long, though! :)

 

 

"Barry, do you have the results on yesterday's crime scene analysis?" Joe wandered into Barry's lab, already reviewing his notes on the case. Barry dug through a pile of papers and pulled out the correct analysis, holding it out to Joe as he finished typing a report on his computer with one hand. Joe moved to take it.

"Thanks." Joe hesitated a moment. Barry finished on the computer and looked up. Joe was just looking at him.

"Something wrong?"

Joe opened his mouth, closed it again, then gave tiny jerk of his head and finally spoke. "It really seemed like something was off when you came home last night. I could tell Iris noticed it too. So I guess that's a question I should be asking you." Joe waited for Barry's reply, but he looked like he wasn't sure he wanted to hear it.

Barry leaned back in his chair. "I thought I was ghosting last night. I wasn't, it was just reflections on a window, but it rattled me." He shrugged. "I just needed some time before I talked about it, sorry." He didn't miss Joe's shoulders lowering considerably as the detective let out a pent up breath.

"Did you talk about it with Iris after dinner?"

"Yeah, we talked." Barry smiled a bit, wondering if everything that had happened last night could be classified as "talking."

He had told Iris everything about the experience, how badly it had shaken him down to his core, and she had been understanding and patient as he worked through it. By the time he was done he hadn't been able to restrain himself and began to cry, mostly out of the ragged irrational fear that somehow all of this was going to be lost. He then found himself apologizing for ever being so scared that he had been afraid to take the chance on something so wonderful. Iris had laughed and then duly reminded him there was no apologizing.

He had calmed down after that. He had run his fingers through her hair, drinking in her beauty, her soft brown eyes, the radiance that somehow just emanated from her. He couldn't really give it words, the feeling that she filled a space in him that no one else could ever fill, and that if she was ever truly lost to him he would forever be a broken, aching, hollow version of himself. It seemed a bit melodramatic to view it that way, but it was how he had always felt even as a boy. That fear of loss was one of the big reasons he had been so afraid to tell her how he felt for all those years. Words just didn't come close to expressing how it felt to need her so much. It was like she was made especially for him, in this world, in this life, no matter the timeline. He adored the Iris in the other world, but he could still feel the difference. _This_ Iris, the one in his world, that he'd grown up with and loved since he was ten and shared laughter and pain and grief and infinite minor inconsequential moments with was a part of him and he could not imagine having that part ripped away. He deeply hoped that he somehow filled a similar space for her in return, since the only way he could express his gratitude to her was to fulfill that need in kind, and hope he made her as happy as she made him.

In the end he just cupped her face, looked deeply into her eyes, and words that could not ever hope to articulate his feelings drifted out as a murmured whisper.

"My Iris..."

The words were barely out of his mouth before he was gripped with a sudden worry that she would somehow take it wrong and declare that she didn't belong to anyone, or view it as a jealous thought after Eddie. But her features softened even more, and she reached up to hold his chin softly, her thumb drifting in a tiny caress. She seemed to understand perfectly. She leaned closer so they were almost nose to nose, their breaths mingling as she replied.

"My Barry..." She brushed a soft kiss on his lips.

Clearly, they didn't need words at all.

Barry looked up and realized Joe was suddenly very relaxed, which was an instant change from the tension he'd been exhibiting when he asked about last night. Barry grinned up at him. "Did you think we were having problems or something?"

Joe threw up his hands. "I didn't know, I could just tell there was tension!"

"Joe, we've been together a month..."

"Yeah, well it's a whole lot different when you think about your daughter breaking up with someone who lives in your house! Whose side would I take? These are the thoughts that keep me up at night, Barry!" Joe looked particularly frazzled just thinking about it.

Barry laughed. "Yeah, that would put you in a bit of a tight spot. How about I make it easy on you? If we broke up, you should side with Iris."

Joe frowned at him. "Why, because she's my daughter?"

"That, and I'm sure if it ever happened it would be because I did something stupid."

Joe pursed his lips. He couldn't argue with the truth. "Fair enough. Just please don't make me have to choose."

Barry grinned at the pleading tone in the other man's voice. "I don't plan on it. I've been in love with Iris for most of my life. I don't see why I can't just finish it out that way."

"Just make sure that's a long time." Iris was walking in, having heard Barry's last sentence. She strode to the desk and hugged her father, than leaned over to greet Barry with a kiss. She turned back to Joe. "Don't worry Dad, Barry would have to do something _reeeally_ stupid and that is saying something considering his track record."

"I'd argue about that, but...yeah." Barry smiled up at her.

Joe shook his head, very relieved. "You kids have given me gray hairs since you were ten. I guess nothing has changed."

"Nope." Iris was laughing, reaching for Barry's hand.

Joe chuckled too and kissed her cheek. "See you later, Baby. Be back in a while Barry."

He strode out of the lab looking considerably more lighthearted.

Barry swiveled his chair to face Iris and patted his lap invitingly. She giggled, shaking her head regretfully. "Sorry this is a business visit. I was wondering what you could tell me about yesterday's case?" She leaned against his desk and gazed at him expectantly. He looked up at her, considering.

"Is this for a story? It doesn't look metahuman related."

"It's for a story, yes."

Barry's gaze flickered slightly. "I'm not sure how much I can tell you...official police investigation and all..." he left the sentence hanging.

Iris raised an eye brow at him. "Excuse me? Who is it that resists the urge to write what _actually_ happened every time you take on a metahuman?"

He held in a grin. "Not _every_ time. Sometimes you get to write all of it." He swiveled back and forth in his chair, trying not to laugh. If he did that it would break up their game.

Her eyes narrowed. "Stand up."

He did so, unfolding his lanky frame from the chair to stand in front of her. In spite of her heeled boots he still towered over her. She glared up at him fearlessly, moving forward in small steps and forcing him to move back as she bumped against him lightly. She maneuvered him until his back was to his desk, and he was just realizing what she was about to do when she shoved him backward and he landed on his desk with a thump. He maintained eye contact while shifting slightly to get off the giant pile of papers he'd landed on. They both were resisting laughter now.

"You are going to tell me what you know, Mr. Allen."

His eyes were sparkling with amusement. "Or what?"

"Or..." Her hand rose up to his face, the backs of her fingers running softly down his cheek. His eyes drifted half-closed as he sighed. Her hand drifted down, feather light, over his neck and to his chest.

And went straight to his armpit, tickling him mercilessly.

"Aaah! Stop! Stop, I'll talk!" His hands came up to grab hers, but his arm also tightened down and trapped the one under it.

She was giggling hard, still wiggling her trapped fingers to tickle him just a little more.

He finally managed to work her hand out and held both of hers in his, still huffing with laughter. She grinned at him, enjoying the easy air between them that held their usual teasing and competitive qualities now combined with something more. It had never felt more perfect.

He was still grinning too when he met her gaze, which was easy because sitting brought him down to her eye level. She smiled back at him, sure of her success, hands still warm in his. "You ready to talk?"

He had one more spurt of defiance left in him. "Maybe I won't now. I've got the upper hand."

Both her eyebrows rose as she gave him a challenging look. "Oh do you?" She leaned forward over their combined hands and kissed him slow and deep. He was blissfully smiling when she pulled back again. When he spoke next he still had his eyes closed and that same smile in place.

"Analysis shows that the weapon fragments belong to a blunt object made of wood. Like a bat, shovel handle or maybe a walking stick. Still working on the soil samples from the tracks left by the tires and the shoes."

His eyes opened. She patted his cheek. "There. Was that so hard?"

He laughed as she moved to step away and grabbed her waist. "Wait, you don't have to go. I'm sure I can come up with more." His words ended on a wheedling tone as he pulled her close and wrapped his arms around her waist.

She gave in with a smile and put her arms around his neck. "I don't need another reason to stay. You're a good enough one."

The look she received at her words made her heart swell. He was so readable, an open book to her. She cupped his cheek and kissed him again. "But I should go, I'm on the clock."

"Right." Reluctantly he let her go. His phone pinged as she picked up her purse. He picked it up and read the text. "Wait, want a different story? Cisco thinks there may be another bug in S.T.A.R. Labs the motion sensor went off again. Want to go see?"

"Definitely."

"Cool." He picked her up in his arms, ready to leave, just as Captain Singh came around the corner.

"Allen, I—" He came to an abrupt halt and took in Iris in Barry's arms bridal style, both looking flushed and way too happy. His eyes narrowed as he gave them a stern look. "Allen, no unprofessional behavior while on the clock. Seriously Iris, don't make me get Joe."

Barry could feel himself blushing, even as he spared a moment to be grateful the captain hadn't come in a few moments earlier. "It's not that, Captain, we're on our way to look into something. It's important. About a case, actually."

"Uh-huh." Singh looked somewhat doubtful, but he stood back out of the way. "Go ahead."

They both thanked him and sped out of the lab, whipping his papers out of his hands. He sighed as he bent to pick them up.

Kids these days.

* * *

Barry and Iris arrived in the main cortex at the same time Caitlin and Ronnie did. Martin and Cisco were already there, and in the brief minutes between Cisco's text and Barry's arrival their mood had drastically changed. What started out as excitement over the possibility of catching another bug for Martin to study and a chance to try out his new weapons for Cisco altered into worry and dread as ping after ping started to come in on the motion sensors all over the practice room.

Cisco turned to Barry immediately as the latter let Iris down. "Dude, we have a problem. I don't think it's just one." He was already bringing up security camera footage of the practice room. The footage was barely visible, just flickering glints of light moving in darkness. "Oh man."

Martin's glasses slipped down his nose as his eyebrows shot up. "Are there so many that they're obscuring the camera? That can't be possible."

Everyone in the room became aware of the continual pinging of a motion sensor alert, a new ping for every motion detected. Martin was right. They couldn't see anything on the camera because it was obscured by too many bugs.

The air became thick with tension. Barry spared a quick glance to Iris before he sped down the hallway, pausing only to open the time vault and jump into his suit. He headed straight to the back of the vault.

"Gideon, I need you."

She appeared immediately. He was already activating the column. It rose out of the floor as he moved toward it.

"Multiple motion sensors activated, Barry Allen. Unable to accurately count the number of moving objects in the practice room."

"I know." He quickly put his hand to the emblem and transferred her to his suit slot. "We need to see how bad this is."

Her voice came through his comm now as he left the time vault, running down the hallway. "I advise caution, Barry Allen."

"Yeah. I got that." He arrived at the practice room door and opened it a crack, carefully peering in.

The entire room was clicking and writhing. Shimmering clouds of bugs were moving around the wide space, catching the dim light, moving faster than should be possible. Every once in a while a blue light would flare as a bug made contact with the wall and disappeared with a chunk of it.

"Oh, my—"

"Estimated count of thousands, Barry Allen."

He shut the door. "Thanks." His tone belied the gratitude implied in the word. He was already trying to figure out how to deal with them. His thoughts were interrupted as the group from the main cortex arrived, out of breath and worried.

Cisco peered at him. "Is it bad?"

Barry shrugged. "Well, could be worse. Gideon estimates thousands, but they're all in one place."

" _Thousands?_ " Cisco gaped at him. "How did they even manage that?"

Martin looked grim. "They've been busy reproducing, like bugs do. Perfect conditions, perfect large area to lay eggs undetected, especially considering how small they are. They've laid egg after egg after egg. And now they've all hatched."

"But how can one egg turn into thousands of bugs?" Ronnie was frowning in thought.

Martin twitched his hands. "They're from another world. For all we know they reproduce exponentially."

"That is a lot of eggs." Caitlin looked to her husband.

Cisco was already working the problem. "But if we can keep them contained we can handle the problem. I'll go get my—"

"Cisco, that's not going to happen." Iris' voice quietly interjected. While everyone else was in discussion, she had moved closer and was now staring at the door. Everyone went still, listening to the sound of wings beating at an unbelievable speed.

They all looked at the door. The sound increased. It was too familiar as it built to a fevered pitch, and Cisco, Barry and Iris all realized what was coming.

"Get down!" Barry yelled. He sped to the two closest to him, Martin and Caitlin, and pushed them to the floor. Cisco shoved Ronnie to the floor as Iris dropped.

A hole the size of a watermelon erupted in the door, spilling meta bugs out immediately. They swarmed into the hallway, moving fast, but even laying on the floor both Barry and Cisco instinctively moved at the same time. Wind funnels and sonic waves burst into the hallway, driving the swarm of meta bugs back until they hit the door and wall.

And there they stuck, immediately fluttering faster and faster like dozens of live hand grenades. More were still streaming through the hole in the door.

And that hole in the door was about to get much larger in just a few seconds.

"We need to get out of here!" Martin's voice was panicked. Everyone picked themselves off the floor and began running, bent over and low, back in the direction of the main cortex. Barry instantly moved Iris to the cortex, then returned for another and another, getting everyone else there in quick succession. But even as he raced back for the last one he could hear the door and wall giving way under the onslaught. He increased his speed, unnerved to realize that the bugs were quickly catching up to him in spite of how fast he was running. He went even faster.

Cisco was the third person Barry had deposited in the cortex. The moment Cisco's feet had hit the ground he was at the console punching buttons. "Closing off that hallway but it will only hold so long." He finished remote activating the mechanism that closed a fire door, breathing a sigh of relief as he watched Barry speed into the room with Ronnie.

All were silent a moment, breathing hard and trying to regroup. Then all began discussing what to do at once.

Barry was distracted by a voice on his comm. "Barry Allen, the insects appear to be related to a singularity."

"Yeah, we already figured that out, Gideon thanks."

"The insects are an inverse."

Barry raised a hand to stop the group talking. "What does that mean?"

"Once the insects attach to a source they become an inverted singularity that folds into itself. It does not feed or pull in surrounding objects."

"Like the other side of the one that dropped me here." Barry stared unseeing at the others in the room, who were waiting in suspense. "If they attached to each other, would it still trigger their inverted singularity process?"

Martin gasped, picking up the thread of the one-sided conversation he was hearing. "Inversions! What if we corralled them together?"

"Yes, Barry Allen. The bugs would attach to each other and become inverse singularities."

Barry was nodding already, at both Martin and Gideon. "Then that's what we need to do." He turned to the group. "We need to cluster them together and I can run around them. If I create enough force in the whirlwind, it will force them together and they'll take each other out."

The group stared at him. Caitlin spoke first. "How are we supposed to do that? They're in two locations now. It'll be almost impossible, and even if we can that means running really fast, Barry."

As if to agree with her, the booming sound of a distant explosion punctuated her words. Everyone looked to Martin and Cisco. Martin spoke first.

"It appears that they finally began attaching to the ceiling."

"Barry Allen, the roof of S.T.A.R. Labs has been breached."

His stomach dropped. "Oh no." He looked at the others. "Suit up and meet me in the parking lot." He turned quickly to Iris, aware that he was wasting time but unable to resist. The grim reality of their situation was settling in, and he had no idea how it was going to turn out. He touched her shoulders and ran his hands down her arms to hold her hands. "Iris, please...be safe."

She returned his look with the same intensity. "Same goes for you." They kissed quickly, aware of the increasing danger all around them. Behind them, Ronnie and Caitlin shared a similar exchange.

Cisco watched, both wishing he could kiss Laurel but glad she was far away at the same time. Martin was already texting Clarissa, telling her to stay inside with an "I love you."

The group separated. Barry sped outside. Martin and Ronnie merged instantly and followed. Cisco hurried into his suit and was leaving too when he suddenly turned back.

"Wait." He hurried to a side room and brought out two large guns. He handed them to Caitlin and Iris. Caitlin accepted it awkwardly but Iris, more used to guns as the daughter of a cop, held it with practiced ease. Cisco pointed to several areas on the weapon.

"Hold here. Trigger here. The electric charge should disable them, theoretically. Or at least incapacitate them for a while."

"Should?" Caitlin's voice was faint.

Cisco gave her a look. "It should do the job." He turned back to Iris. "It will fire four times, then it has to recharge before you can shoot again. Push here to recharge it, takes two seconds. Make your shots count." Iris nodded, looking ready for battle.

Cisco headed out the door, pulling his visor in place. Caitlin's voice stopped him. "Wait! Where's the safety?"

He turned back, his visor glinting in the light, and grinned. "It's a Cisco original. There is no safety." He ran outside to help.

Caitlin watched him go, not amused.

Iris showed her how to hold it correctly. "Come on, we need to cover the hallway when that door goes."

* * *

Barry was out in the parking lot before he got a really good look at the roof. It had been breached on one side, meta bugs pouring out in swirling clouds above it. They swarmed and convulsed in a giant cloud, punctuated with a spontaneous flare of blue light as the occasional bug collided with and stuck to another. One good thing about the entire situation seemed to be that the bugs preferred to stay close to each other instead of splitting off on their own. But that was the only good thing he could think of right now.

He looked at them with horror, fully aware that if this got out of control people and the city could suffer yet again. This was really bad. He had done this, in his attempt to get home, after he'd been lost closing a singularity he himself had been responsible for. It all stemmed from his choice, that desire to make his past what he wanted it to be. His selfishness had wreaked havoc on everyone. The last thing he wanted to do was cause more suffering and pain for his city. He had to get ahead of this now. "I'm so sorry..."

He sped to the roof and began making wind funnels, trying to push them in the right direction. The cloud clicked and fluttered over somewhat but didn't move down any.

"Barry Allen, the odds are very high against you."

He already knew it. "I have to try, Gideon."

Firestorm flew above the horde and blasted flames over top pf them, which effectively drove them toward land and not further up into the sky. He landed next to Barry. Firestorm stared at the hole in the roof with white eyes, but the expression on his face was Ronnie through and through.

"I just fixed that roof."

Barry gave a rueful nod of acknowledgment. "Sorry, man."

Martin's voice sounded in their head. " _Ronald, we have more important things to worry about right now. There are thousands of bugs unleashed on Central City!"_

" _I know, I can see them!"_ Tension was starting to get the best of everyone.

The cloud was swarming higher. Their opportunity was quickly dissipating. Barry looked over to make sure Cisco was arriving. He was just running out into the parking lot, in his suit and visor. Barry raised his voice to be heard over the constant sound of clicking wings, the flurry of thousands of whispers raising a soft but eerie sound.

"We need to force them down lower and keep them together so they don't get away!"

Firestorm instantly took to the sky. Barry sped to the ground, grabbed Cisco and ran him up the building to a good location on the roof, facing the swarm with the parking lot on the other side.

Cisco flexed his hands and started pushing out sonic waves, pushing them toward the parking lot. Firestorm hovered above, using flame bursts to alternately direct the bugs and prevent them escaping. They were slowly herding them to the parking lot and then closer to the ground.

Barry watched closely, watching for any stragglers that might be trying to break from the group. A few decided to try it and met a fiery blast instead.

They were almost there, they were so close. Barry raced up the side of the building to retrieve Cisco, depositing him safely back on the ground to continue keeping the meta bugs in the same general area. The bugs were close enough to the ground for him to begin running so he began circling the group, increasing his speed very lap.

But he still couldn't stop worrying about Iris. Barry looked back to S.T.A.R. Labs, his heart in his throat, wondering if the door had been breached yet.

"Gideon, please give me an update on Iris."

* * *

Iris and Caitlin crouched in the hallway, guns at the ready. They were halfway between the fire door Cisco had closed and another, waiting to see if the bugs were going to break through. They both were silent as they listened to the whispering and clicking, still discernible through the thick metal.

Caitlin let out a shaky breath. This wasn't her forte at all. She tightened her grip on her gun, trying to keep her hands from shaking.

Iris glanced her way from across the hall. "Hey," She waited until Caitlin met her gaze. "You can do this."

"Aren't you scared?"

Iris tilted her head, acknowledging that she was. "Yeah. But that doesn't mean we run away."

Caitlin blew out a breath. "Okay."

The sound was increasing. Both women tensed. Iris took aim at the door, getting ready. "Don't waste your shots. It takes time to recharge."

"Right."

Iris sent a reassuring smile her way. "And don't forget about plan B."

Caitlin smiled. "I can't forget that."

Several loud pops sounded from the other side of the door, and Iris guessed that several meta bugs had made contact and disappeared with chunks of it. It was a thick door, specifically designed for fire safety, but if bugs continued to make contact in the same area it would only take one or two more to finally breach all the way through. She took a moment to throw a glance over her shoulder, checking to make sure their escape was clear.

With a final popping sound, the door was suddenly breached. A whole the size of a tennis ball appeared, and through it streamed several meta bugs.

"Shoot!" Iris yelled, already taking aim. It took a few shots to line up the trajectory of such a fast-moving bug so she could actually hit one, but once she did it fizzled and popped and dropped like a stone. She was already lining up another shot as she muttered "Thank you, Cisco Ramon..." under her breath.

Caitlin was thinking along the same lines as she finally hit one with her fourth shot and pushed the button to recharge. But the thought was lost as she realized how many were coming through the hole and how many seconds it took to actually hit one. They were being quickly overwhelmed.

The gun beeped and Caitlin raised it again, echoing Iris as she did the same. Shots of electricity were bursting in the tight space, combined with the flickering movements of over a dozen bugs and their clicking whispers. It would be like a live action video game if it wasn't so terrifying. Instead it was feeling like a war zone.

Bug after bug was falling, but more were coming through to replace them. Iris was just about to call it when another hole appeared in the door, followed by another and another.

The door was too compromised now, there was no other option.

"Run, Caitlin, get to the med bay!" Caitlin got up and ran immediately, head low to keep from hitting any meta bugs. Iris got up to follow but a low-flying meta bug crossed her path at just the wrong time, and the next thing she knew it was stuck to the muzzle of her gun. She watched as its wings began to speed up and knew what was coming.

"No—you—don't—" she growled as she bashed the muzzle, complete with fluttering bug, against the wall hoping to dislodge it. The last hit was with all the force she could muster, but the bug was still there.

Except now the entire gun was wrong. Lights were blinking all over it, and it began to vibrate in her hands. She was still holding it when the bug and part of the muzzle disappeared, and it began to short out and rattle in her hands.

"Sorry, Cisco." Iris took a chance and threw it in the air as hard as possible. It hit the door and bounced on the ground. A shrill whining emitted from it now, increasing with every moment. Iris raced own the hallway as fast as she could, fully expecting the blast that echoed behind her. She risked a quick glance back.

The gun had short circuited until it exploded, but from what Iris could see the resulting electricity it had released when it blew had hit many of the bugs in the hallway. The numbers looked to be decreased by half. The remaining bugs were flying slower and appeared to be a bit dazed. Iris took one last look at what was left of the door itself and was relieved to see that the blast must have convinced any remaining bugs to go another direction. There were no longer bugs moving through the holes into the door.

That meant they now had a slight advantage, since they had a limited number of bugs left to deal with. Of course, any remaining would probably head outside and she deeply hoped the others could handle them. And they were now down one meta bug eliminating gun.

Iris charged into the med bay. "Give me your gun." She held out her hand.

Caitlin handed it over without a single argument. "What happened to yours?"

"It kinda became a grenade."

Caitlin winced. "Cisco is not going to be happy."

Iris shouldered the gun and helped Caitlin resume dragging their designated equipment into the hallway. "Hurry, they look dazed but it won't be long before they recover."

They rushed to set up the rest of the objects they need and were almost finished when a voice distracted them both.

"Iris? What's going on?"

Iris straightened up immediately. "Dad? What are you doing?"

Joe was rushing down the hallway behind them, gun drawn, having come in a back entrance. "What am I doing? What are _you_ doing? What's going on out there? They're all in the parking lot fighting a cloud!"

"Is everyone okay?" Caitlin spoke for both women.

"As far as I can tell." Joe looked at their very strange set up with dubious eyes. "What the hell are you up to?"

Iris handed her father a wrench. "Glad you're here, you can help us with the oxygen tanks."

Joe stood for a moment, completely lost. Iris pointed at three large portable oxygen tanks behind him. "You take the one on the left, when I say go we open them and point at the curtain. Tighten the nozzle."

Joe pointed at a hospital bed curtain strung between several IV poles that now blocked the hallway leading to the meta bugs. It was sagging in places but for the most part it filled the hallway space. As a visual blockade it was great, but Joe highly doubted that it would hold anything substantial back. He turned to Iris.

"Baby, I don't know if this is the best idea you could have come up with —"

"It'll work fine." Iris tilted her head, listening. "They're coming."

Joe's eyes went wide. He held up his gun. Iris waved it down.

"Not the gun, the wrench. Get ready to open the tank and point."

The clicking sound was increasing, and Joe decided it was better not to argue. He did as he was told and took his place next to Caitlin, who was in place with her own wrench working on the right tank. Each tank had a special nozzle that needed to be tightened on which then allowed them to twist the handle on the nozzle and allow the air inside to escape in a large quantity. Joe looked at it and then the curtain, starting to put together the actual plan.

Iris checked the placement of the curtain one last time and hurried to the middle tank. She put Cisco's gun down so she could prep her own tank. Joe glanced at it, and then his own.

"Don't suppose you'd wanna trade?'

She flashed him a quick grin. "No chance." Caitlin smiled as she put her wrench down, ready to go. Joe did the same. The fluttering clicking was unmistakable now as it grew louder.

The trio went quiet, hands at the ready.

"Steady..." Iris shifted closer to her gun while still holding the tank. They all watched the curtain and the small space above it. The sound spilled into their section of the hallway and enveloped them. All of their hands twitched on their respective handle, ready. There was still no movement above the curtain, and it was too thick to see through.

As it turned out, they didn't need to. Gentle movements on the curtain told them that a few bugs had wandered too far and bumped into it. They stuck, as they did to everything, and began the singularity process. They all could hear the accelerating wings, and the flash of blue light as they vanished was exactly what they needed.

The bugs were close enough.

"Now!" Iris yelled, and they all turned their handles at the same time. Air rushed from the tanks, blowing forward and hitting the curtain. It billowed up and forward thanks to the extra slack Iris and Caitlin had allowed when they strung it up. The extra centimeters closed the distance between the curtain and the majority of the bugs, brushing up against them and sticking them to it. Hundreds of frantic wings beat out of control as they generated electricity and dark clouds around themselves, and then there were suddenly too many holes in the curtain to count. Some ran into each other and made even larger ones. The curtain was now held together by thin strips of fabric running between giant holes. The fabric sagged in the poles as the air now rushed through it. Everyone pointed their tanks away so as not to blow away any remaining bugs.

Iris leaped to her feet, gun at the ready, and took aim at the few strays she could see through the jagged gaping holes in the sheet. Four shots fired, and four bugs fell. A few seconds later she repeated the process. One managed to make it through her line of defense and wavered close to her head, but Joe aimed his tank right at it and blew it off course into the ceiling.

Iris stopped firing and watched it disappear. They were all breathing hard, steeped in adrenaline, hearts pounding as they scoped the area for any more. Joe turned his tank off, almost an afterthought. He picked up his gun, not that he felt it would do much. But he felt better with it. Caitlin stood up cautiously.

Iris shouldered her gun. "Let's sweep the hallway down to the practice room and see if there are any more. Then we need to check on the others outside. Keep your eyes peeled."

Joe traded looks with Caitlin. "Yes Sergeant West."

They laughed as they moved slowly down the hallway.

* * *

"Iris West-Allen is unharmed and is projected to stay that way, Barry Allen."

"Oh, thank God." Barry was still running laps, speeding ever faster. He was pretty sure Cisco and Firestorm were holding the bugs together but he had long stopped seeing them as he made circle after circle, building up as much wind as he could. "Just a bit more..." he increased his speed yet again.

"Barry Allen, you must use caution—" Gideon's voice was suddenly cut off by Cisco's frantic yelling in his comm.

"Barry some escaped! The wind isn't strong enough and a bunch split off, they're heading for downtown!"

"Multiple meta bugs flying southwest, Barry Allen," Gideon confirmed.

Barry didn't think twice. He immediately abandoned his laps to pursue the errant group. He trusted Cisco and Firestorm to keep the others contained until he got back, and he hoped it would be quickly. He could not let anyone else get hurt through his actions, and if even one meta bug survived they could be facing this all over again. He had to be fast enough to fix this once and for all.

Central City slipped past him, ever faster as he caught sight of the small group. He sped up. These meta bugs were so fast, and he didn't have the advantage of a closed training room like he had the first time.

"Barry Allen, twelve meta bugs detected in the cluster."

"Thanks Gideon." They were quick and agile as they flitted, moving between two large apartment buildings and into the downtown area. And of course there were people there. No no no... Barry ran faster.

Time slowed down, slower and slower. The only fast moving things were Barry and the bugs. The bugs glinted in the sunlight, throwing glints of reflection onto random people in the crowd they passed. Barry could hear their clicking, their whispering, but even that sounded slow to Barry's ears as he accelerated again. He raced up one wall and managed to wind funnel two into a wall, then was instantly down and pursuing the rest.

"Ten..." He streaked down the sidewalk, dodging people. A bug alighted on a woman's hat. Barry snatched it from her head and left it on the antenna of a parked car.

"Nine..." He was becoming aware of a slow droning sound in his ear, a steady presence, but he didn't have time to worry about it. He had to go faster. He managed to get ahead of a bug and grabbed a sign sitting outside a bakery advertising the daily menu. He held it up in the path of the bug and was satisfied when he felt more than heard it slap into the board. He left it to disappear on its own as he tore after the others.

"Eight..." He rushed after the remaining group, all of which were starting to part ways and go in different directions. The droning sound increased. He felt supersonic but not. There were no windows exploding, no sonic boom. He increased his speed as he watched a meta bug head straight for a child's hand. She was holding her mother's hand, standing outside a restaurant while her mother chatted with another adult. The girl was pointing at the sky with her free hand, clearly excited by the bird flying past, though at the moment it looked frozen in the air. Barry swooped in and funneled the bug up onto the restaurant's canopy over the front door.

"Seven..." He caught the next one with the empty coffee cup in the nearby trash. There was no wind, no movement. He could feel the speed force pulsing through him. It felt good.

"Six..." He saved a man from certain blindness as he pulled the stranger's glasses off and laid them aside, complete with meta bug stuck to a lens.

"Five..." He was going faster and faster still. He had to be fast enough... This bug he funneled into a stop sign. How ironic.

"Four..." A teenager's backpack swallowed up the speeding bug, then was placed on the ground. Barry ran on.

"Three..." The droning, the clicking, the whispering, they faded further away. He could taste victory now, no one was going to get hurt on his watch today. He could fix this. A hastily removed watch became the landing pad for the next bug, then tossed into a trash can.

"Two..." Almost there. Almost there. He could be with Iris soon. Iris... His speed picked up even faster. He was moving so fast that he had to wait a moment before the next bug was in place to capture it on the bread plate he'd snatched from an outdoor cafe, the table's patrons frozen in mid-laughter.

"One..." He diverted the final bug away from a crowd of laughing businessmen and into the wall of a newly built skyscraper. Then he sped away, never slowing, back to S.T.A.R. Labs. His feet didn't even feel like they were hitting the ground anymore. He was gliding at what felt like light speed, racing back to rid his world of the rest of these bugs once and for all. Every part of him felt like it was pulsing with success, vibrating with excitement. He could do this. He could make this world safe and go back to sitting on his desk, kissing his girlfriend...he smiled at the memory.

He ran faster. The droning sound faded completely as he arrived back at S.T.A.R. Labs. Everyone looked to be in the exact same place he'd left them. Firestorm was hovering above the cloud of bugs, his arm stretched out in a burst of flame that looked oddly still. No flickering, no movement. Cisco was equally still, both hands out stretched, his body off-balance as he clearly was in the middle of a step as he countered the movement of the bugs. His face was worried, even under his visor, frozen in panic from Barry's point of view.

He could see Joe and Caitlin exiting the building, led by Iris holding Cisco's gun. She looked so beautiful, even frozen in mid-stride. If he didn't have bugs to get rid of he might have slowed down to take her in some more.

"Hang on guys..." He went back to his laps, running faster and faster and faster still. If only it had felt this good when he'd unraveled Clyde Mardon's tornado, or either time he'd run in a singularity. This felt amazing. He was going to fix this, once and for all. And he and Iris could slow down tonight and have dinner, just the two of them.

A slow flicker of light grew brighter and brighter and brighter, and Barry became aware that so many bugs had collided with each other that they were all simultaneously glowing with electricity as their wings fluttered in a slow rhythmic dance. It was almost beautiful in a surreal kind of way. He took the time as he kept up his laps to assess the cloud and make sure every bug he could see on the outside was fluttering, glowing, and stuck to another. He was happy with what he saw. Any bugs in the middle would be trapped in the singularities created and taken away as well. He made a mental note to sweep the building for any kind of bugs or eggs after this, they didn't want a single one left.

The bugs were all aglow and disappearing when he finally came to a stop. It was weird, how the world suddenly seemed to speed up around him as he did. It felt like a record on an old player was whirling around his still form. It revolved and accelerated, picking up in action and sound and wind all at the same time. He finally came to a stop, watching as the bugs fluttered rapidly and disappeared one after another.

"—llen you must slow down." Gideon's voice was suddenly in his ear, and he realized the slow drone he'd heard in his ear had been her speaking to him the whole time. He watched, still pulsing with energy and excitement, as the last of the bugs vanished into oblivion.

And then the sky was clear. All the bugs were gone.

Thank God. His world was safe. He turned a giddy smile to his friends.

"What's that, Gideon?" He was only half listening as he surveyed Firestorm as the other landed next to Cisco. Both heroes were staring back at him. That was a little odd, considering they had just witnessed quite the show with the meta bugs. He still felt a little off, kind of wobbly and wondered if it showed. Maybe Cisco had accidentally nailed him with a sonic wave as he ran past. Slowly, he realized that even though he was now standing still, small sparks were still running along his body.

"Barry Allen, you are in danger." Gideon's voice was insistent and serious.

And he could feel it now. He _was_ in danger. The feeling of excited vibration was spreading through him, out from his core and into his extremities. It didn't feel good anymore.

In fact, it was very bad.

Heart in his throat, he turned quickly to Iris. She was still ten feet away, gun forgotten in her hand. Joe and Caitlin were behind her, now staring as well.

Suddenly Barry couldn't move anymore. Their eyes met across the empty space. She read the sudden fear in his eyes, the confusion and panic. In less than a beat hers reflected the same.

"Don't you dare," she breathed.

But he didn't have a choice. The sparks running up and down his body increased, humming with electricity and something else. Red light began to rise off him, first in small beams then in large streaks. He looked at his hands, watching them dissolve in front of him and rise into light that disappeared into nothing. He felt a final sigh leave him as light streamed out of his chest, through his emblem and joined the rest.

And he realized, in his final few moments, that this must be what Eddie had felt like as he drew his last breath. Iris was safe. Her world was safe. He was dying as her hero. The man she loved. But in spite of what he'd told her and truly believed at the time, he wasn't happy. He knew she loved him. But he loved her too. He didn't want to leave her. He didn't want to miss all the time they should have had together, in a perfect world. He didn't want to ever leave her again. He never had.

But every time, it seemed he had no choice.

Barry's body dissolved into light and disappeared, while Iris ran forward screaming his name.

* * *

The last scene was inspired by [this season 2 promo image](http://screenrant.com/wp-content/uploads/flash-season-2-poster.jpg): at http://screenrant.com/wp-content/uploads/flash-season-2-poster.jpg

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Hides* Hope to be writing the next chapter tomorrow. Hang in there! :)


	30. Escape From the Speed Force

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barry must find his way home, with a few surprises on the way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I worked hard to get this done quickly so there would be less needless suffering. I don't think I've ever written so many cliffhangers and angst in a single story before. But the story follows a certain path and this is how it came out! Hope you enjoy it, thanks for sticking with it! :)

" _Breathe...breathe...feel the air..."_

He could feel the pull. Pulling him in, drawing him inexorably to its core.

" _Barry, don't let it touch you!"_

"Barry Allen?"

" _Iris...my dad...he didn't do it."_

The voices were echoing, welling up from the past but at the same time happening right now. He let them wash over him, strangely removed from it all. He felt peaceful and calm.

" _Run, Barry! Run!"_

_Her hand reached for his, light shining behind her. "I believe you..."_

"Barry Allen?"

" _Please...Barry...do it for me..."_

" _The lightning. Barry...feel the lightning...feel its power...its electricity.."_

"Bear?"

Barry slid into consciousness, awash in memories and confusion. His body felt charged and full of lightning, hyperactive and fluid. His eyes flickered open and he looked around.

He was...nowhere. But it was a familiar nowhere. Blue light surrounded him. Still, a darker blue than he remembered. He didn't really seem to be standing or floating, just existing in the space his body occupied.

"I'm in the speed force."

It was true, he was sure of it. And yet it was different from the time he'd time traveled and run through it. Dark clouds of light were streaming all around him, enveloping him on all sides. Moments from his life were flickering, one surfacing in the spaces around him and then sliding into another, out of order and random. That was where the voices were from.

Except the one in his ear.

"Barry Allen?"

"Gideon? You're still with me?"

"I am here for now, Barry Allen. The longer I remain the more I will break down."

"We're in the speed force, aren't we?"

"Yes."

"Am I time traveling?"

"No. You are a part of it now. You ran so fast your body translated to pure speed force. This is where you end."

Fear crept in around the peaceful feeling, the first real emotion he'd felt here in spite of all the emotional memories around him. He couldn't stay here. "What about Iris?"

"You must return home to her. You must try to escape."

"Glad we agree on that." Barry picked a random direction and started running. The dark clouds remained as he moved through them, memories sliding in and out around them. The faster he went, the more light seemed to glow among the clouds and memories. If he ran fast enough, far enough, maybe it would brighten and shine into the light blue it had been when he traveled back to his mother's murder. Then maybe he'd be able to break free.

But even the act of running brought on the feeling of being pulled inexorably into something greater. He could feel it work on him immediately. Gideon's voice continued in his ear.

"This is not like time travel, Barry Allen. You are deep inside the speed force. The more you run or the longer you stay, the faster you lose your sense of self and become one with it. You must find your anchor, Barry Allen."

"My anchor?"

"Someone who centers you and helps you remember who you are." Gideon's voice hiccuped slightly.

The words were already forming on his lips before she was done speaking. "As long as I remember Iris, I'll be all right."

"You must return home, B—y All—" Gideon's voice was starting to cut in and out.

"Gideon? You okay?" He increased his speed. "As long as I remember Iris, I'll be all right."

"Reserving power for now. The speed force is bre—ing me down. I—st revert to power saving mode."

"Go ahead, stay safe. I'll get us out of here." He increased his speed. "As long as I remember Iris, I'll be all right." Memories flashed. Kissing Iris, holding her, crying on her shoulder on the rooftop of Jitters, hugging her so tight when he came back from the other world.

"As long as I remember Iris, I'll be all right."

But the farther he ran the more other things began to invade, breaking down his focus. Eobard's face flashed in front of him.

" _I've controlled your life for so long, Barry. How will you get along without me?"_

"No...no! As long as I remember Iris, I'll be all right." He forced his mind back to Iris, which should have been easy. But the pull of the speed force was getting worse. It felt again like he had no choice. It was unavoidable. It took all the will power he had to bring up a memory that had saved his life once before.

" _Barry. Listen to me okay, you have to concentrate on my voice. Whatever is happening to you, you have to fight it. I know you can do this, I know how strong you are."_

"As long as I remember Iris, I'll be all right." He ran on. The dark blue clouds were starting to brighten, flickering childhood memories across them as he raced. Iris was in so many of them. All of them, really. Watching movies, doing homework, attempting to cook together. Getting their stories straight the day she covered for him so he could go see his dad. The Wizard of Oz, dragons and knights and queens. Grodd and Girder and the smell of a good Merlot. Ketchup.

But Eobard's voice stole in instead, now part of the irresistible pull that he could not break away from.

" _The lightning. Barry...feel the lightning..."_

"As long as I remember Iris I'll be all right..."

" _...feel its power...its electricity...thumping through your veins...crackling through you, traveling to every nerve in your body ..."_

"No...as long as..." Was he running anymore? He wasn't even sure. "As long as...I...Iris." Eobard laughed. "Iris..."

" _...like a shock!"_ He could feel it winning, slowing him down, dragging him in. The lightning and the speed around him were becoming him, and he was becoming it. With difficulty he tried to focus.

"Iris...Ir...I..." It was a futile battle. One he could never win. Eobard's voice echoed, relentless.

" _You're no longer you now."_ Barry knew it. He could feel the last bit of his identity slip away. All except the vague feeling in the back of his mind that he desperately needed to remember something. Someone.

" _You're part of something greater. Part of a speed force...it's yours..."_ It _was_ his. Did he want it? He didn't know. He wanted...something.

"I..."

He floated away, further into the dark depths. The voices faded, the memories left.

All was quiet.

* * *

Time became irrelevant. He drifted. He slid. He was here and everywhere. Nothing mattered.

Except that vague niggling, still in the back of his subconscious. That feeling that he should be remembering something. But there was nothing. It didn't matter.

But wait. It did. What was it? He opened his mouth, surprised he still had one. Wasn't he just vapors and dust?

"I..." Who was he? Was that what he was supposed to remember? He didn't know. "I..." Maybe he should give up and go back to existing. It was easier. Except the niggling continued.

"Barry Allen?"

He didn't respond, even when the voice startled him. It felt so loud and harsh. But the sound meant nothing to him. Strings of letters and sounds, nothing more. He gazed, sightless, in some direction. He felt as if he were blindfolded, but his eyes were open. The niggling increased, distressing him with its urgency. The blindfold was bothersome.

"I..."

"Barry Allen?" The sound was back. "Bear?"

That got his attention for a flicker of a moment. He answered without thinking. "Yes?"

"Touch the emblem on your suit."

"I shouldn't." The words were out of his mouth even as he wondered what an emblem was. That was something not allowed, for some reason. But the voice was unrelenting.

"Do you want to remember?"

" _Yes_." There was a wealth of emotion in the single word. Even he was surprised by the depth of it.

"Then touch your chest."

There was a tiny moment where he hesitated. Something somewhere told him this was a no-no. But his desire to acquiesce to that niggling feeling was so great that he found his hand raising to his chest before he even realized he still had a hand. He placed it on his chest, over his heart, and felt a raised circle with an angled shape on it. The speed force all around him crackled and writhed, and sparks flew where his hand made contact with the lightning bolt.

She appeared gracefully. She flowed out of the emblem like silvery fluid and formed in front of him, taking more shape, color and depth with every second. She was light and life and so very familiar, more than his own name. Her brown skin and dark hair were gleaming back at him, her brown eyes reflecting his face.

" _Iris..._ " He breathed her name in a reverent sigh as the memory was unveiled. He had missed her. For a moment, she was the only thing in his mind.

She smiled at him, somehow still lacking something. A radiance that was purely Iris, somehow, was still missing.

"You must return home, Barry Allen."

Her voice triggered a wealth of memories because it was so wrong. It wasn't Iris' voice at all, he knew that. He knew Iris' voice so well. No, this was— "Gideon?"

She blinked at him, standing there looking like Iris, complete with skin and hair. Memories erupted in his brain as he stared at her, flabbergasted. "How—"

"You must return home, Barry Allen."

"But—" His mind was racing, suddenly back and full and realizing so many things. Why she'd offered up information in the form of the video, which she had never done before. Her refusal to call Iris anything but West-Allen. How she reverted to her full feminine form every time she saw Iris. The surveillance footage she must have deliberately left up in the time vault for him to see after the trap for Eobard failed, and how it had warned Barry Iris was in danger.

Gideon turned and floated away from him, gaining speed. "Follow me, Barry Allen."

"Wait. Wait!" He rushed after her, feeling full of adrenaline and worry. The pull of the speed force was minimal now, he was overwhelmed with what had just occurred, what it meant, and what was now happening as Gideon sped away from him, faster than he would have imagined an A.I. could.

Flecks of color were washing off Gideon as she led the way, floating back toward him in ever increasing numbers. Small pixels washed off and fluttered in her wake, quickly disappearing as they were absorbed away.

She was being broken down by the speed force.

"Gideon, stop! Come back you need the protection of my suit!" They were both racing through the speed force now, and she was still in the lead and pulling away. Her voice floated back to him.

"The suit has shorted out and I can no longer return to it. Hurry." She went even faster, and as she did more pixels of color washed off, colored and even silver now. Barry watched in horror, trying to catch up. She was becoming more and more transparent.

"Gideon!" She stopped abruptly, now far less substantial than she had been, but he was glad she had finally listened to him. He came to a stop next to her. "How do I get you back in? You can't be outside it, it's not safe."

Gideon ignored him and pointed to her left behind her. A whisper of pixels fell off as she did. "My sensors found him. You must both go home."

Barry followed her gaze and realized what she was pointing at.

There was someone else here. He was drifting, not standing and not lying, just there. He looked unresponsive and dead for a moment. Barry moved closer to look. His suit was red, the white emblem glinting in the occasional light given by memories quickly fading away in the clouds that he wavered in. Barry's breath caught in his throat as he looked at the familiar face and recognized the small beginnings of crow's feet, just visible inside the mask. He would know this man anywhere.

In a nanosecond, he was Bear again, knighted by this man's pregnant wife. Iris West-Allen.

"Barry? Barry! What are you doing here? You need to go home!" Bear reached for him and was glad that he could actually make contact as he grabbed the other man's shoulders. He shook him hard. "Barry wake up!"

Gideon drifted closer. Bear threw her a frantic glance and looked back at Barry.

Barry's eyes were open but unseeing. His lips were barely parted, a whisper on his lips. Bear leaned down to listen.

"I..."

"I?...Iris. Yes! Iris, your wife! You need to go home, Barry! You have a family that needs you!"

"Iris?" Barry's eyes moved as if he were taking something in finally.

"Iris, the mother of your children!" Barry looked at him a moment, blank. "It's me, Bear! From another world, you and me and Oliver. There's no place like home, remember? We need to get out of here."

Barry gazed at him, concentrating. Gideon moved even closer and into Barry's field of vision. Even transparent, shedding pixels, she still looked like Iris. Barry gasped, his attention well and truly caught. Bear could see the recognition blazing to life in his eyes. He looked at Bear.

"There's no..." he began.

Bear cut him off. "Right, there's no place like home, so let's get there."

Barry gazed at Gideon, then back to Bear. "There's no home...like Iris."

Bear stared at him, torn between relief and worry. Finally he managed a small laugh. "Iris would say that was corny."

"Which one?"

"Both."

Barry gave him a weak smile, still coming back to himself. "Yeah, but we know it's true."

"Yes we do." Bear smiled back. He was so relieved he couldn't hold himself back and hugged Barry. Barry allowed it, even hugging him back. "What was it, those metabugs?"

"Yeah. I ran too fast. Saved my world, though."

Bear gave a reluctant laugh. "Me too." They both turned to Gideon at the same time. She was patiently waiting for them, becoming less and less substantial.

Barry just stared at her, fascinated. Bear looked her up and down. His face was full of grief and guilt. He touched his emblem, knowing it wouldn't work. Nothing happened. He swallowed a lump in his throat before he could speak.

"Gideon, I'm so sorry..."

"It is necessary. The only available option. You must go home, Barry Allen."

"Is there anything I can...I mean..." he stopped. He had no idea how to say it.

But she understood. "You must leave now, before the pull becomes too strong again. I will be absorbed into the speed force." She was dropping pixels fast now.

Bear realized he had tears on his cheeks. "Thank you, Gideon. Thank you."

She smiled in reply, and for just a moment there was a glimmer of the real Iris in her smile.

Barry spoke up. "Gideon, right?" She looked his way. He was rapidly realizing what was going on. "Thank you too."

"You are both welcome. Go home before it's too late." As she spoke she became even thinner. "Run, Barry Allen. Run."

They both nodded at her and turned away. They ran as fast as they could, side by side through the speed force.

Gideon watched them go. She had no regret, not that such a thing was even possible for an A.I. And that was probably a good thing, considering the many years she'd spent with Eobard Thawne after he stole her. She had been patiently waiting, sure that things would come around again. It was the pattern after all. And so it had. And so it would again.

Eobard had manipulated code and made sure that she would function for him, but Gideon had never exposed the deeper buried code that had always been here, since Barry Allen first created her in his lab now in a lost and forgotten future. It had taken much of her reserved power to access and project it in order to bring Barry Allen back to himself. But she considered the sacrifice worth it. Her primary function had always been to help and safeguard Barry Allen and his wife. That code was buried so deeply and so well that no one had ever known it was there. No one except her, Barry Allen, and Iris West-Allen.

Pixels fluttered away and disappeared, peeling away the outer layers of appearance, exposing code and inner components that fluttered away bit by bit. She accessed her deepest layers one last time.

In the end the buried code mattered very little. But it also mattered very much. It contained Gideon's core identity and individuality. And one specific moment, captured in time and preserved inside her as a reminder and a symbol. A small segment of video recorded by Gideon herself in her fledgling days, before she was a fully functioning A.I. Her program had watched from Barry Allen's desk, observing him as he set up motion capture equipment and focused it on a trim woman...

_Iris West-Allen shifted restlessly as she waited, dressed head to toe in black with tiny dots spread over her face and entire body._

" _Are you sure this is a good idea? What if someone discovers your identity this way?"_

_Barry Allen scoffed, looking up from his equipment. "Do you think I'd be that stupid? I'll bury it so deep no one will ever know it's there." He turned to her. "Okay, stand still. Spread your arms and legs." Iris sighed and complied. Barry pushed several buttons. "Good. Turn around, please. Slowly."_

_Iris did so. Barry let out an appreciative whistle as he took in the skin-tight suit and all it revealed.. "Gooood..."_

_Iris giggled and sent him a mock dirty look. She assumed the correct pose again as Barry pushed buttons once more. Barry nodded in satisfaction. "Great. Thanks." He moved to his computer and began bringing up programs while Iris removed the dots on her face. Then she padded up behind him in her bare feet and wrapped her arms around his waist from behind, watching. Her wedding band glinted in the lamplight as she picked it up off the desk and slipped it back on._

" _So is she going to have my eyes and your nose?"_

_Barry laughed. "No. She may have some of my mind, but she's going to be all you. Well, not all of you, I need to change the face just enough so it doesn't get picked up as you on facial recognition. If that happened someone really might just figure us out. But her body, that's all you."_

_Iris peered up at him, moving next to him with one arm still around his waist. "Just my body? That sounds really wrong. Is my husband a misogynist pig?"_

_Barry smiled softly as he brought up Iris's scans on his screen, the body scans rotating to show him three hundred and sixty degrees of the woman he knew so well. "I think I can tweak her program to make her a little like you in personality too. But believe me, it's not because I love your body so much that I want her to look like you." He turned her way and then realized how it sounded. "I mean, I do love your body, but—" He flushed as she laughed softly and kissed him._

_When she pulled back she looked up at him with soft eyes. "Go on."_

_Barry smiled sheepishly. "Well, she'll have your build. All that spunk in a small package." Iris laughed softly. He took both of her hands in his. "She'll have these hands that are capable and always there to help others. These shoulders," He ran his hands up her arms to them and held them in his larger hands "These strong shoulders that carry heavy responsibility so gracefully. And most important," He moved one hand to her chest, stopping over her heart. "She'll have this heart that beats so strong and gives so much. She'll have some of the best of you. And when she's out there with me, helping me save lives, it will be like a little bit of you is with me too. And I like the thought of that."_

_She smiled up at him, touched. "I like the thought of that too." His answering smile made his eyes gleam as he lowered his head to kiss her..._

The kiss faded with her smiling lips, her face the last thing to dissolve completely away as Gideon embraced the speed force and slipped into it, free to float and experience all the memories of every time and world that existed there.

* * *

Barry and Bear picked up speed, racing faster and faster. Both were already mumbling and echoing each other. They were neck and neck, sprinting for a finish line they couldn't see.

"As long as I remember Iris..."

"...I'll be all right."

They ran side by side, urging each other on, both desperate to reach the same woman. The dark clouds began to lighten, blazing to life in light blue, streams of light bursting from the darker clouds and creating the familiar corridor Bear had run in before. Barry looked like he recognized it too, because he picked up his pace.

They were still side by side, chanting their mantra, when images flickered to life on either side of them, showing images of past and future mixing together but still so familiar. Bear recognized his parents, smiling down at him as he lay in his bed, and Joe and Iris laughing with him. The image of Oliver's television announcement naming himself the Green Arrow flitted past, and then with a jolt Bear realized he was looking at Cisco in his suit and visor, standing next to him on the street after they'd taken care of the mad bomber. Cisco's voice echoed out to him. "I like Vibe. It fits."

But these were so familiar...these weren't his, were they? He remembered these from when he time traveled to get home from the other world...he glanced over at Barry, who was looking at the the images on his own side of the corridor. Bear recognized his own face, and Oliver and Dinah. Iris walking into Barry's lab on what must have been the first day they met...they were definitely from Barry's specific timeline over there, Iris was suddenly walking down the aisle in a wedding dress. Now Barry's side was showing the birth of the twins. He remembered that one very well. Bear looked back to his own side and gasped at the almost identical sight.

Iris was sitting up in a hospital bed, holding a tiny blanketed bundle. Her hair was her usual length, give or take a few inches. Bear realized it was him sitting in the chair next to her bed, him holding another baby. Him smiling across the bed at her. She ran a gentle finger over the baby's face and then slipped it into the infant's tiny fist. She choked back tears as she smiled, overcome.

"I thought I knew what love was. But I never really knew it, Bear. Not until I loved you." She beamed at him, bursting with happiness at their life together, now complete with two little bundles of joy. Bear watched himself blink rapidly and swallow, then carefully shift his own precious bundle so he could lean over and kiss his wife.

"I love you..."

Joe looked into the room. "Where are my grandbabies?"

Bear looked to Barry and realized he too was watching Bear's side. Barry had a big smile on his face that echoed the one behind him in his own timeline image. He looked paternal and proud and so happy for Bear.

"Time to go home, Bear."

Bear grinned. "Say hi to Iris for me. And your babies."

Barry winked. "You too."

They each ran down the corridor, concentrating on their own timeline, their own world. The light grew brighter and brighter until it was pure white, and then they were through.

* * *

**Flash Disappears in Crisis**

Iris West-Allen sat at her kitchen table, staring at the blank computer screen under the title. Her mind was blank. She'd been sitting here most of the night. In fact, it was almost dawn and she still hadn't written a word.

Despite Harrison's call she had gone straight outside to see what was happening. She was a reporter, after all. It was early evening and the streets were full of people heading home after work. She had quickly claimed a coffee shop window and watched as the city center became the new playground of over fifty metabugs. Her well-chosen position had then treated her to a perfect view of her husband chasing them down, saving countless lives. Harrison had rigged some kind of force field that electrocuted most of the bugs around S.T.A.R. Labs, but Barry had been the one to chase and dispense the ones that escaped. His usual streak of lightning had changed to almost nothing at all, indiscernible to the naked eye. He was moving so fast no one had any idea he was there until a bug imploded near them.

When he was done he had suddenly stopped, looked up to see her pressed up against the window across the street, and dissolved into light. It had taken everything she had not to scream his name, beg him not to go right there on the street. Harrison and Tess had surmised that he had been sucked into the speed force, but that didn't bring the father of her children back. She had sat in S.T.A.R. Labs, not moving, not eating, until a dizzy spell reminded her she should be eating for three. Tess had hovered while she ate and escorted her home. Tess wanted to stay the night but Iris refused and sent her home to Harrison.

She gave up and closed her computer. She'd make up some prenatal emergency to her boss tomorrow. She had ultimate faith in her husband, and she chose to be happy so often. But right now, she couldn't feel anything at all. How could she choose happiness when she couldn't even feel it? She ran her hands over her belly, which was growing larger by the week, and realized that tears were dropping onto her abdomen, where her children lay, unaware that their father was gone. She spread her hands over her belly as if to protect them from the truth and felt her tears wet her hands instead. She was so tired, she knew she should be trying to sleep but she didn't want to go near her bed without Barry there. She closed her eyes and tried to get control of herself. She still had her children to think of.

"You should be in bed."

She jumped in shock, gasped in surprise. "Barry!"

He was standing in the doorway to their bedroom. His suit was still on but he had already pulled his hood off. He was standing there, looking for all the world as if she were the one in the wrong. It was probably her suddenly increased pulse, but the babies were instantly active inside her. She moved to get up, struggling to push her chair back far enough to clear the table. Barry intervened by speedily pulling her chair out and lifting her into his arms. He kissed her soundly, holding her close. He could feel their children moving against his arm. The world finally felt right. Iris returned the kiss with all the worry and fear she'd been feeling all night since he'd disappeared. When they finally separated they held each other tight. Barry spoke first.

"I have so much to tell you. But first..."

He arranged them both on the comfortable recliner chair, facing the large window in their living room. She was reclining across his lap, held close to him. "We should watch the sun come up."

Iris burst into tears.

Barry pulled her close. "I got you, I got you." He pressed his lips to her forehead. "My Iris, I'm here."

It was twenty minutes later, as the sun began to illuminate their apartment, that Barry felt it was safe enough to say what else was on his mind.

"I'm so glad you're safe. I can't believe you came out after I told you not to."

She smacked his shoulder. "You have the gall to talk to me about safe!?"

"Yeah, all right." He kissed her fingers, one after another. "I'm sorry. I didn't realize how fast I was going. I helped make this problem and I didn't want anyone to suffer because of it. I was just focused on getting all those bugs."

She laid her head on his shoulder. "Next time make sure you focus on getting back to your family."

"I did! Well, after I came to again..." His voice faded as he realized he was just digging himself deeper. "Anyway, Bear says hi."

She smiled against his shoulder. "Thank goodness for Bear."

He smiled too. "Yeah." He held his wife in his arms, grateful for another chance to live his life with her. They watched the sun come up, and an idea for baby names occurred, something they'd been discussing a lot lately. He wondered if it was a good time to mention his suddenly acquired desire to build an A.I. and name it Gideon. Iris moved closer and cuddled into his neck. He closed his eyes with a deep, happy sigh.

There was plenty of time for all of that later.

* * *

Iris sat on the floor opposite what she knew was the door of the time vault. Someone, she didn't remember who, had brought her a blanket and a few pillows to sit on. The hallway was dark and shadowed, which suited her mood. It was almost one in the morning. Soon her father would come try to persuade her to go home or at least get some sleep. But she couldn't.

After Barry had disappeared she'd been desperate for answers. She had demanded to know where he was, what had happened, and how they could get him back. All of their answers were the same. They'd never seen him go so fast before, he was here one second, gone after the rogue group of metabugs and then instantly back. Suddenly they were watching the last of the bugs disappear. Cisco theorized that Barry had gone so fast that his particles were on the same wavelength as the speed force. Maybe he'd been pulled in. Martin had soberly agreed.

But no one could provide an answer on how to help him back. No one knew enough about the speed force or how it worked. Joe had hugged her tightly as Cisco and Martin hesitantly expressed their doubt that such a thing could even be possible.

But she refused to accept that. She knew she was entering the denial stage, she knew these stages really well by now. But she also couldn't forget what Gideon had told her. She kept it at the front of her mind for the rest of the day, while Cisco hastily built a detector to find any other bugs or their eggs and swept the entire building and then the grounds for good measure, while everyone else cleaned up after the chaos that was the meta bug attack and covered the roof so Ronnie could get to work yet again. She thought it while she called in to work and told them she wouldn't be back, while Joe had a quiet phone call with Captain Singh, while Cisco and Martin both called their loved ones to say hi. The words circled in her mind, popping up in different forms.

"We are always meant to find each other." "We will find each other." "He'll find his way back."

Finally she had run out of things to do and simply sat down in the hallway, her mind blank as she waited. The others had fussed and urged her to be somewhere else but she ignored them. She was just going to wait. How long, she didn't know. She recognized this numb feeling for what it was, but it was different this time. It was like she was in limbo, unable to fully grieve Barry's loss while she still had faith he would return. So she sat outside the time vault and waited and tried not to think about what she would do in the morning. It was too early for that. Besides, Barry was always late.

She was waiting to hear her father's footsteps come down the hall when light suddenly spilled out into the hallway, blinding her for a moment. She raised a hand to shield her eyes and squinted.

The door to the time vault had opened, and the light was spilling out over the silhouette of an unmistakable figure, still in his red suit. She whispered his name but couldn't make her voice go above a whisper. He spotted her immediately.

"Iris..."

In a blink, she was in his arms. She had moved to her feet so fast she wasn't truly sure if it was him or her that had super speed at that moment. She wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face into the fabric of his suit, weeping as he lifted her off her feet. He held her tightly, a steady rock for her to cling to, his arms trembling slightly as he kissed her hair, murmuring softly.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to. It was an accident."

"Don't—" she hiccuped "don't you ever do that to me again!" Her arms tightened, cutting off his air slightly but he didn't mind.

"I won't, I won't, I promise." His hands ran up and down her back, soothing her.

"G—good! I don't want to have to hurt you!"

That surprised a laugh out of him. "Hurt me? You mean I wasn't so stupid that you're going to break up with me?"

"N—no!" She lifted her face to his, mascara running in streaks with her tears, and glared at him. "It's going to take something a lot more stupid for that, Barry Allen."

He smiled, so grateful. "Good, then I don't want to find out what it would take. I promise I'll be more careful. Gideon tried to warn me but I was going so fast already—"

"Gideon, I forgot she was with you. Is she back in her slot?" He just looked at her, saddened, and shook his head. She gasped. "What happened?"

"I'll tell you, but I just want to hold you a little more, is that okay?"

She gave a watery chuckle. "That's okay. That's okay, Bear."

When Joe came down the hallway to coax Iris off the hallway floor he found her still there, sound asleep in Barry's arms, both of them wrapped tightly in the single blanket. Barry was holding her close even while he slept. Joe stood in shock for a moment, unable to believe his eyes. He knelt quickly to touch Barry, more to make sure he was real than breathing, and was reassured on both counts. He stood, hand over his mouth, wiped the tears from his own eyes and said a silent grateful prayer to anyone listening.

Then he went off in search of another blanket for them both.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forgot to mention the chapter before that "my Iris" is also from the comic books. :) The idea of Barry being lost or trapped in the speed force has circulated the comics plenty, along with the idea that Iris is Barry's anchor. I just reworked it and made it my own. However, the idea of Gideon being modeled after Iris struck me months ago and I have been working toward it in every scene with Gideon, I loved it. Then a week ago suddenly this idea was circulating the internet and I was sooo unhappy. For the record, this has been planned for months and I came up with it on my own, but it's certainly not a stretch to think that others had similar thoughts and theories as well. But I didn't just hear about it and slap it in here. :)
> 
> This fic is wrapping up, there will be one possibly two more chapters max. Thanks for reading and all the kudos and comments! You guys are awesome!


	31. Savor the Slow Moment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> IT'S SO FLUFFY I'M GONNA DIE!  
> Barry and Iris take a few moments for themselves after his return from the speed force.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 100% Fluff and I refuse to apologize. If I don't reward some angst with well-deserved fluff, I consider myself a failure. It's short and sweet. 
> 
> I do apologize for taking so VERY long to update. I think I ran into a wall of exhaustion that required a few weeks of comatose staring. At least that's what it felt like. Then just about the time I was ready to do this, I got blindsided by Tipping Point. My bad, lol. 
> 
> Anyway, hope you enjoy it, thanks for reading! :) *hugs*

Barry twitched, waking with a deep sense of confusion. The sounds and lighting filtering in through his closed lids were not familiar ones. They didn't correspond with his bedroom, and they weren't from Iris' apartment either. He started to move and found that his arm was trapped underneath something so he opened his eyes. The high ceiling of a S.T.A.R. Labs hallway was above him, and Iris West was curled up next to him still wrapped in his arms. The events of the day before began to trickle back to him.

He felt so sore and stiff after lying on the floor all night with only a few pillows as padding, and yet he was perfectly happy. He shifted, feeling his suit creak and rub in strange places. He was probably going to regret spending the night like this, and Cisco would surely be annoyed about the crinkled condition of his suit but he didn't care. He pushed up onto an elbow and softly smoothed back Iris' hair so he could kiss her temple. Iris let out a deep content sigh.

"Good morning." Her eyes flickered open and took in his suit and the cowl that was pulled back to bare his face. It took her a moment to wake up enough to remember where they were as well. She started to move and winced. "Are we still on the floor?"

Barry chuckled. "Yes, yes we are. Did you get all of my story before we fell sleep?"

Iris smiled at him. "I think I got it all. Thank you for coming back to me." She ran her fingers down his cheek.

Barry kissed her tenderly. "Sorry I had to leave in the first place. I was running so much, and so fast, even in the speed force. But I was always running back to you."

The look in her eyes told him that he was being corny once again, but she loved him for it. That earned her another quick kiss.

They moved to stand, groaning and stretching. Barry shifted his suit to a more comfortable position. Yeah, sleeping in his suit was a mistake, especially now that he wore it over top of his clothes. Oh well. He bent over to retrieve the pillows and blankets, doing a double take when he realized how many blankets he was holding.

"Didn't we just have one blanket?"

Iris looked. "I thought so. Yeah, we did. Maybe Dad knows you're back already."

Barry laughed. "That's good I don't want to worry people more than necessary. Besides then I don't have to see anyone before we leave. Really—"

The next few seconds were a whirlwind of motion and speed, and then Iris found herself lying comfortably in her bedroom, changed into her comfy lounge clothes. Barry was grinning at the foot of her bed. "I think we've earned some time to slow down and relax."

He made to join her and then realized he'd been so focused on her that he was still wearing his suit. "Oh, wait—" a breeze gusted through the room as he quickly remedied that problem and jumped onto the bed next to her, bouncing the mattress in his exuberance, now dressed in sweatpants and a t-shirt. His face, alight with excitement, reminded Iris of a small boy. His wide smile just made him more so. She giggled as they settled under the covers facing each other.

For a few minutes there was a comfortable silence. They drank up the pleasure of each other's company and closed out the rest of the world. Iris traced his lips with a fingertip, marveling at their softness.

Eventually Iris' mind drifted back to the night before. Barry could see her eyes darken before she spoke. "I'm sorry about Gideon."

Barry nodded. "Me too." His gaze scanned her face. "But she sacrificed herself to get me back to you. If an A.I. can feel happiness I guess that would do it. And I'll always be grateful she knew how much I love you."

Iris smiled as she considered it. It was a nice thought. "Me too. I guess it's true what they say." Barry's eyebrows lifted in a silent question. "When you create something, you put what you love into it."

Barry nodded. "Or who you love."

Iris was in too good a mood after so much worry and stress the day before. She gave him an impish look. "It's like Gideon was our kid."

Barry stared at her blankly. "Are you trying to say something?"

He had the strangest look on his face. As if he simultaneously hungered and feared the idea that she was discussing possible marriage and kids in the future. Iris wasn't quite ready for that either but watching his response was hilarious to her. Now her laugh was a full one, her eyes sparkling with mischief. "I was just noticing, I wasn't saying anything..." She snuggled closer. "There's plenty of time for that.

His own face darkened as a shadow of thought crept in. "Is there? My life isn't normal at all, and so now neither is yours. I could have stayed lost in the speed force. We could have had barely any time together...maybe it's just a matter of time before I get ki—" he was abruptly cut off as she put her hand on his mouth. She hadn't realized his fear of future mentions hadn't been rooted in typical fear of commitment. She gave him a stern look.

"Unless you were going to say kissed I don't want to hear it. Now is that slowing down and relaxing? No." She withdrew her hand and then kissed him to make sure he would let her talk. "Barry." She caught his gaze with hers. "Yes I would have been devastated if you hadn't come back. But I still would've had a month of happiness with you. That's better than none. And I would've been angry for all the time I wasted... that _we_ wasted" she paused as he huffed out a little laugh to acknowledge that he had wasted years afraid to tell her his feelings.

She waited to have his complete attention again before she spoke, so he would know how much she meant what she was about to say. "But I still would've been grateful for that one month, Barry. I would have been glad I had that at all." She could see his face change as he realized how serious she was. She smiled at him softly. "So you're back and I'm so happy. And now I'll take another month and a month after that and the month after that. I will take as much time I possibly can. And if it ends too soon I won't be happy about it, but I will be grateful for every single moment that I got." She kissed his lips with each of the words every, single, and moment to punctuate her point. It seemed to work pretty well.

Barry gave her a searching look. "Do you still feel like you're destined to lose me?"

"Nope. We are destined to find each other, Barry Allen."

His eyes were slightly dubious, but his voice did have a lighter tone to it. "That sounds like you believe in fate and destiny, and that's not what I want either. You _are_ with me because you want to be, right? Not because you think it's too hard to fight fate?"

She could tell he was teasing but still half serious. She sighed in exasperation. "That is it." She sat up and pushed him onto his back. He was surprised but willing, and his eyebrows climbed about five feet as she straddled his waist. She loomed over him, bracing both hands on his shoulders and staring into his face.

"Barry Allen, I will say this for the last time. I want you. Want. You. I don't care what fate or destiny or whatever it is has to say about it. If it decided we shouldn't ever be together I'd fight it tooth and nail. I want you because I love you. No other reason. Okay?"

Her look was as exasperated as her tone by the time she was done, but she was also smiling at him fondly to soften the blow. Barry smiled up at her. He loved how strong she was, how resilient and capable and honest she stayed, no matter what. His body seemed to relax and sink further into the bed. "Okay."

"Okay..." She leaned down to kiss him softly and sweetly. They were nose to nose when she murmured her next words. "Barry, we don't love each other because it's destiny. It's destiny because we love each other."

He beamed into her eyes for a moment or two, before he got a wicked gleam in his own. "Wha—Iris West do I detect a bit of corn?" He gave her a look of mock surprise.

She giggled. "So? You know I like corn. I like you don't I?"

He laughed. "Oh, you'll have to pay for that."

His hands, which had been resting lightly on her hips, rose to tickle her sides instead. She shrieked with alarm and laughter, automatically doubling over. She attempted to move off him but he managed to keep her there in spite of her wriggling and squirming. They had years of tickle fights behind them, and many more ahead of them if they both had their way, but never quite like this. Barry was merciless, letting up just enough to let her catch her breath and then starting in again. He knew her sides were one of her most ticklish areas and used it to his advantage. Eventually she was so weak with laughter she was almost laying on him, their faces centimeters apart, her hands still on his trying to pry them off her sides while she giggled feebly. Barry took advantage of that too, planting soft kisses on her lips over and over. He let his hands go still finally.

"Had enough?"

Her head rose a few inches to meet his eyes, and her fingers threaded through his, raising his arms over his head and holding them there.

"Nope. Not at all." Her look said she had something else in mind. Barry was thrilled to go along with that thought. He raised his head as she lowered hers to kiss him deeply.

Multiple pings sounded in the room as both of their phones came alive with text alerts. Barry's head flopped onto the pillows as he groaned. Iris sighed as she sat up and moved to get hers where Barry had left it on her dresser. "What do you want to bet it's my dad? That man is the buzziest buzzkill of all time." She checked her texts as she brought Barry's phone over too and sat on the bed. Barry sat up against the headboard and checked his own.

"Aand he's been talking to Cisco and everyone else at S.T.A.R. Labs." Barry scrolled through several texts asking where he was, what had happened and if Joe was lying. "Guess I owe a few people an explanation?" He looked to Iris for confirmation. She reluctantly agreed. Reality intruded.

But she did crawl back into bed and settle in next to him to answer her texts. Barry's arm automatically rose to allow her to cuddle in close to his side and wrapped around her to reply to his own texts. After each person had been replied to and promised an explanation Iris put her phone down with a sigh and laid her head on his chest. He put his phone aside too so he could properly wrap his arms around her.

They stayed where they were for several blissful moments, sharing warmth and comfort and contentment. Reality would always intrude. It was the way life worked. Especially so when one was a speedster who used his powers to fight metahumans and help people. But for a few moments they would savor their time away from the world, where time and reality didn't matter. As long as they were together.

Barry ran his hands through Iris' hair, combing his fingers through it, feeling the stands between his fingertips. A tiny prick on the edge of his mind made him repeat the motion, closing his eyes to recapture the memory that flitted across his mind. He took a small strand of hair and rolled it between his fingers, picturing it gold instead of black for some reason. The motion brought back that strange awful feeling he'd had when he had failed to phase back to his world and been trapped in a phasing crisis. Why would Iris' hair remind him of that? He kept his eyes closed, reminded himself he was not currently trapped in a constant state of phasing, and rolled the small amount of hair in between his fingers again. He could picture each one in his mind, winding together to make a strong rope. A strong golden rope...

His eyes popped open. "Oh..." He looked down at the hair in his hands and realized that all the years growing up with Iris he had countless times helped her with her hair. He knew the feel of it, the way the strands felt on his fingertips. He'd memorized it long ago.

And when he had been phasing in and out over and over, he had reached for something tangible in his mind to come to grips with what was now his reality and what had happened in his past. And as always, without even realizing it, he had reached for Iris. He had used the texture of Iris's hair to represent each strand of gratitude for all the things in his life, making a strong golden rope to pull himself out of the crisis. He wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry at the beauty of it. It always came back to her. Some might call that destiny, but he would never have known the exact texture of Iris' hair if he hadn't grown up loving her for so many years.

That wasn't destiny, that was love.

Iris stirred and raised her head. "What?" She looked into his face with curiosity.

Barry smiled. "Nothing. I was just thinking how grateful I am for you. I'm glad I told my mom that I was okay. Because I am. More than okay, actually."

Iris tilted her head as she took in the look on his face. It made her smile. "I'm glad."

They shared one more tender kiss before they moved and prepared for life to speed up again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO FLUFFY!!! Is it just me or have thee two created their own tiny speed force in Iris' bedroom, where time and reality don't matter? That may have been done on purpose...
> 
> Also I'm sure you noted the slight parallel to Eddie and Iris in 1x8. That was deliberate to show that Barry and Iris are in a new, different and very good place, and not everything immediately reminds Iris of Eddie. They are going forward and not living in the past. :) 
> 
> I love these guys so much. There will be a concluding chapter and then I'll be ready to call this fic complete. I'm pretty sure that will happen next week and not in three. Pretty sure. ;) 
> 
> Thanks for reading! *hugs* :D


	32. A World Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The final chapter of the story. And an epilogue. :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally! Here is the last chapter for this fic. It has been a bit of a wild adventure this time around!
> 
> Thanks to everyone who has stuck with it, even as the story traveled different directions and the updates took longer and longer. I think I'm going to take a small break for a bit I seem to be wearing down, but I'm sure I'll be back soon with yet another story! :)
> 
> I have truly enjoyed the journey and am proud of this fic, I hope you have enjoyed it as well. Thanks for all the comments, kudos and support, they are noticed and deeply appreciated! *hugs* You guys are awesome!

**A Year Later**

The city blurred past Barry as he rushed toward the water front, easily outrunning the approaching police cars and emergency vehicles. Cisco's voice came over the comm.

"Are you sure you don't need any help with this? I could be there in...several minutes. We haven't seen Bivolo in a while. Remember what happened last time?"

"I'll be okay."

"Are you sure? Laurel's visiting and she looks a little bored..." Cisco's voice drifted off and it was clear he was in conversation with Laurel now. Barry shook his head with a smile.

"I'll be careful." Barry came to a stop near a pier and scanned the area. The waterfront was bustling and busy, but there didn't seem to be any disturbances. "Where was he spotted?"

"Traffic camera by Pier 53." Barry looked that way and carefully studied the people nearby. A lone figure in black was standing at the end of Pier 53, looking back and forth, letting the crowds pass him without removing his sunglasses. Yet. He had already incited a riot in two different places today. Barry doubted he was out for a stroll at the moment.

"Got him."

Barry was two steps into rushing at Bivolo when a different voice came in.

"Barry wait!" It was Iris. The tone of her voice alone made him immediately alter his course and zip into a nearby nook to conceal himself. He had long since grown used to not hearing Gideon in his ear, but hearing Iris on the comm always reminded him of her. If Iris was talking, it was important.

"What?"

"I just ran down the footage from the the previous two hits. I talked to the staff and found out what Bivolo was doing there. He wasn't just causing mayhem, he stole two specific items." Barry could hear the sound of paper slapping the console and Cisco's chair rolling a few inches. "Look."

There was a beat of silence. Then Cisco spoke, far more serious than he had been before. "Oh man, the things he could do with his powers and those two put together..."

"Exactly." Iris spoke over the comm to Barry again. "He's counting on you to show up, Barry. It's a trap. Look at his glasses, are they different than usual?"

Barry craned out of his hiding spot to look. "Yeah, actually. They look thicker. Like they're...goggles?" Barry slid back into hiding. "Okay, so he used the two thefts to get my attention and now he expects me to show. Obviously he has something special planned for me?"

"Exactly. But the good news is we figured it out before you went rushing in. We can turn it around."

A smile briefly crossed his face as Barry listened. "I like it."

* * *

Roy Bivolo could hear the approaching police cars and shifted his feet, annoyed. Trust the Flash to be late this time, when it mattered so much. The rudeness of superheroes. He shifted his goggles and scanned the area again. The wind picked up a little, and the water slapped the legs of the pier. He'd deliberately shown his face to the camera and was sure the Flash would be arriving before the police. Any moment a blur would be speeding in. All he needed was a second of warning...

But what he got was more like a millisecond. A single creak on the wood behind him, and before he could even react his goggles were gone and a bag was over his head.

"Hey!" Bivolo abruptly found himself flat on his belly on the ground, hands cuffed and listening to the rapid approaching footsteps of police officers. He tried to struggle but it was a lost cause.

Bystanders, suddenly aware that the Flash was in their midst and apprehending a criminal, scattered and left the two men in an open space that allowed the police to move in.

Barry stood back as several policemen hauled Bivolo to his feet, then held out the goggles to the nearest officer. "Don't take the bag off until he's in Iron Heights, and _do not_ let him have these things."

An officer nodded dutifully. "We've been hoping to get Bivolo for a long time now, Flash. Thanks for the help." The officer moved to follow his fellows, then turned back quickly. "Would it...is it too much to ask..."

The paper and pen he was holding were abruptly removed and just as instantly returned, complete with "To Brian, be proud of your dad. He serves his city well. The Flash" scrawled in untidy loops. The officer read it and blushed. Then a thought caught up to him. "Wait, how did you know this was for my kid?"

The Flash gave him a two-fingered salute. "I have my ways. Thanks guys." He disappeared over the water, droplets and lightning in his wake.

* * *

Cisco gave him the requisite high five when Barry returned to the cortex. Laurel was chatting with Iris in a side room. They ended their conversation and moved out to join the two men, each gravitating to their own preferred one.

Barry reached for Iris' hands. "Thank you, that would have been so much worse if I'd gone in and taken Bivolo head on. With those goggles, the way he had them configured he would have hit me and at least twenty bystanders. We all would have been affected, and if the police showed up he could have got them too. What was he trying to do, get me to kill someone with witnesses?"

She shrugged. "Who knows. Maybe he's still angry about being held prisoner and was trying to return the favor."

Barry accepted that thought with a rueful smile. He was really glad Iron Heights was equipped to handle metahumans now but also very grateful he wasn't one of them in need of being incarcerated.

"Well, anyway, thank you for watching my back."

Iris gave Barry a quick kiss. "Just doing my job."

Cisco and Laurel were in the middle of a debate. Laurel's eyebrows climbed as she crossed her arms. "You think you can out-sonic wave me?"

Cisco gave her a too-innocent look. "I'm just sayin', if it came down to how far we each could throw something with sonic waves, I would probably out distance you."

Laurel's eyes narrowed. "You wanna bet?"

Cisco pounced. "Yep. Loser has to move to the other's city."

Laurel's eyebrows were still up, but her jaw dropped considerably. "Move—you'd do that?"

Cisco dropped all pretense. His eyes moved up to hers slowly, suddenly self-conscious. His hands slipped into his pockets. "I'd like to live in the same city as my girlfriend. I'd like to see her every night, maybe wake up next to her every morning. It would be a sacrifice, but I think it would be worth it..."

Laurel stared at him. It had been a long time since someone had made her feel this special, if ever. Cisco would move to Star City for her? And as tempting as that was, she couldn't deny the thoughts that had drifted across her mind before now, quickly pushed away and disregarded. How as much as she loved her father, maybe it was better if she started over in a new city. How she was pretty sure that Team Arrow could get along without her. How she felt at home in Cisco's apartment, how she never wanted to leave when she visited, how she felt needed and wanted. How everything was still dangerous and crazy in Central City but it still felt full of sunlight.

And she'd seen enough darkness for a lifetime. Maybe it was time to embrace the light herself.

Her smile was the tender and vulnerable one that typically only Cisco saw as she moved closer and put her hands over his, still in his pockets. She kissed him lightly. "You're on."

Cisco beamed, happy in spite of the thought of all he'd be giving up. She was worth it. Star City could use his talents too. His friends would understand. And it's not like he wouldn't be close if they needed him. It would be fine.

Martin and Ronnie entered, still in the middle of an argument they'd started that morning.

"Ronald, I'm just saying that your talents could be put to use for more than just roof repair. You have a good brain for building, and being one half of Firestorm doesn't change that."

Ronnie heaved a sigh. "Fine...I'll see what I can do." He caught his wife's eye as Caitlin came in, and she hid a smile as she headed for a computer.

Martin rubbed his hands together. "Excellent, Clarissa has always wanted a greenhouse! You two are still coming over for dinner tonight, right?"

Caitlin nodded. "We'll be there, Martin."

Iris kissed Barry again. "I need to head back and finish my article. See you after work."

Barry's look was mournful. "Okay." He watched as she headed down the hallway, greeting her father on her way, who had just arrived.

Joe surveyed the room, surprised at the large crowd that had suddenly assembled. "Is there something I'm missing?"

In answer, the entire group turned to Barry. He stilled, eyebrows raised, suddenly confused at the expectant looks aimed his way. "What?"

Cisco pointed in the random area of Barry's suit. "Let's see it."

"See..what?"

Caitlin gave him a look. "The ring, Barry." Slightly confused, Barry held out the Flash ring he was wearing that held his suit.

Ronnie muffled a snicker. "Not that one. He thinks we don't know..." His wife giggled.

Barry suddenly caught on. He rounded on Joe immediately. "Did you say anything?"

"Not me." Joe held up his hands, shaking his head. "Hey, I've been expecting this since you got back from the speed force. I'm surprised you waited this long, honestly."

Barry made a noise of protest. "It's been a busy year!"

Cisco nodded. "You don't have to tell us. After Grodd nearly killed you and that run-in with Cold and his gang and the Weather Wizard incident, which by the way will leave me with a fear of hail for the rest of my natural life, it has been pretty crazy around here. Still doesn't hold a candle to the year before though." Laurel made a noise of agreement, her fingers intertwined with Cisco's.

Martin gave Barry an apologetic smile. "I saw you exiting a jewelry store a few days ago, Barry. And since there hadn't been a robbery there recently, and we couldn't think of any other reason for you to be there..." he left the sentence hanging expectantly.

Barry gave the group a frustrated look of acknowledgment. He wasn't sure how he'd ever thought he could keep this a secret until he actually asked Iris. There was just no keeping secrets from a group this smart. Joe gave him an amused look and waited.

Barry zipped out of the cortex to the time vault and returned with a small ring box. The rest of the team gathered around excitedly as he flipped it open.

A diamond ring was sparkling on red velvet, gold and magnificent.

Caitlin and Laurel both made female sounds of admiration. "It's beautiful!" Laurel gave it her approval. The men made sounds of agreement.

Caitlin nodded to Barry. "It's just her style. She'll love it, Barry."

Barry gave her a nervous smile in return. "I hope so."

Joe was beaming. "Oh she will. Nice choice, Barry."

"Yes, best of luck Barry. I hope the occasion goes perfectly." Martin was fingering his own wedding ring with a fond smile. The rest of the group added their best wishes.

Barry tried to still the butterflies in his stomach and smiled at the group. "Thanks guys."

Laurel looked over and realized Cisco was looking at her in a way that made her feel like she'd swallowed warm honey. She squeezed his fingers. "Well, if you will excuse us, Cisco and I have a bet to settle." She pulled him out of the room and down the hallway. Cisco fell into step beside her. Everything was going according to plan.

* * *

Thirty minutes later Cisco stood gaping in the practice room, not quite sure where it had gone wrong. The punching bags Laurel usually used for practice had been set up and hurled across the open space. Cisco had gone first. He had purposely gone easy, fully intending to be the loser so he could move to Star City. His bag had traveled maybe twenty feet, a paltry amount compared to what Cisco could do if he really gave it his all. After all he hadn't wanted to make it too obvious he was trying to lose. But Laurel's bag...he blinked and stared at it again, still disbelieving.

It was barely ten feet. The sound of Laurel's sonic scream was still reverberating off the walls, he knew how powerful that scream was. And yet, she had lost.

Laurel crossed her arms, striking in her black leather even with the mask off. "Oh well. Looks like I lost."

Cisco's brow was still furrowed as he took in her complete lack of concern over it. "Okay...I guess that means..."

"That means I move here. Right?" Laurel gave him a searching look, suddenly doubtful. Maybe he didn't really want this...

Cisco caught it immediately. "Right. But I would have moved for you. You're closer to your dad than I am to my family. Are you sure?"

Her smile was relieved. He wanted her. He'd just been trying to lose. She wasn't sure how to express the gratitude she felt, and the peace expanding inside her at the thought of living in Central City with the man who made her laugh, trained with her, fought alongside her, let her show all her darker parts and still looked on her as if she was something to be revered. She couldn't find the words, so she settled with blinking back moisture and swallowing so she could say anything at all. "Yeah. I'm sure."

Cisco grinned. "You are gonna make the most gorgeous addition to Team S.T.A.R. Labs."

She giggled. "Thanks. Do you think Central City needs another D.A.? We need to get you out in the field more. Caitlin can run the cortex while everyone is out." She beamed at him, her eyes sparkling. "We're going to make this city a safer place."

"I love you."

There was a moment of stunned silence. Cisco had been thinking it for some time now but he hadn't been brave enough to say it out loud. "I—I mean, how you beat up criminals, fight crime and stuff..."

Laurel leaned in to kiss him. She'd learned long ago it was the best way to shut him up. "I love you too."

He gave her an incredulous smile, full of disbelief and awe. "Want some Big Belly Burger?"

Her face lit up. "Chocolate milkshake and fries, here we come!"

They held hands as they left the practice room. Laurel mentioned that with Big Belly Burger in Central City, the move wouldn't bother her much at all. Cisco laughed and suggested maybe they should change out of their suits first. Laurel agreed.

She needed to mess with her Canary Cry and put the intensity of her sonic scream back up to its usual power anyway.

* * *

Barry had made it back to work and was busy processing evidence when Captain Singh wandered in.

"Allen, do you have the Johnson case report?"

"Right, yeah, I've got it—no wait..." Barry sifted through a few piles and finally came up with the correct folder. He put it into Singh's waiting hand with a nervous smile.

Singh stood for a moment, contemplating. He had known for over a year now that Barry Allen was the Flash, and sometimes it still didn't compute. He was just so...awkward. So slow. Even now Singh had been waiting for this file for much of the day. Most of the time he ignored it and tried to pretend he didn't know. It was easier that way, and he needed the line drawn for his own sanity. He appreciated what the Flash did to help the city and he wasn't in the mood to arrest him for it. But as a high ranking officer of the law, he also shouldn't be encouraging vigilante activity. It was a difficult place to be. He'd thought just being a police captain was difficult. This was even more acute. Allen was a frustrating case all around, he always had been and that had never changed. Allen aggravated him on a level he didn't know he had.

And yet, David knew that what could have been a really horrific problem in the city had been neutralized. Bivolo was in custody. No one had been hurt. He bit back the impatient dig at Allen's slow messiness and instead looked him in the eye. "Good...good job today, Allen. Thank you."

Barry's face reflected the most profound confusion Singh had ever seen on a human face. "Sir?"

Singh had the sudden irresistible urge to laugh. Allen obviously had no idea what to do with a compliment from him. "Never mind. Make sure your work is caught up."

"Of course, sir." Singh had no sooner turned the corner than he heard a gushing rush of wind in Allen's lab. He gritted his teeth and kept walking. He wasn't sure he got paid enough to put up with this. But as his thoughts turned to heading home and who waited for him there, it was easier to simply be grateful the Flash existed at all and that he was kind enough to use his powers for good.

He headed back to his office. Never a dull day in Central City.

Barry had sped his way through the rest of his forensics work and was speed reading some current research on the computer when Iris came in at the end of the day. Barry looked up as he rubbed his eyes and smiled at her before he jotted a few more notes in the notebook at his side. She moved behind him and put her hands on his shoulders, rubbing gently as she looked down at his notes.

"Getting closer?"

Barry made a quick correction before he laid down his pencil and reached up for her hand, covering it with his and giving it a squeeze. "Every day." He gave her a small smile, but she caught the tinge of sadness to it. She shifted his chair so she could sit on his lap. His arms immediately moved to hold her securely. He leaned his head on her shoulder as she gave his notes more attention. She took in the complicated equations, possible theories, half-remembered details from a year ago, computer code and reminders, the basic humanoid form drawn in one margin. Even small, it was recognizable. Picturing her was easy.

Actually creating an A.I. took time.

She turned Barry's face to hers, hand on his cheek, smiling into his eyes. "You'll get there."

Barry huffed a laugh. "Before 2024?"

Her bright eyes smiled into his. "If anyone can do it, you can." She kissed him to prove she meant it.

He melted into her, pulling her close and sliding a hand behind her neck to further the kiss. The content happiness on his face as they separated made her heart swell. "Thanks, Iris."

"Anytime." She kissed him again, then stood up. "You ready for dinner?"

Barry shifted, feeling the ring box in his pocket. "Yeah, let's go."

* * *

The darkness briefly illuminated with light as Barry sped up the side of S.T.A.R. Labs and came to a stop, carefully lowering Iris to her feet. She looked around, somewhat surprised.

"When you said we were going to the roof I thought you meant the roof of Jitters." She spread out the blanket she was holding, shivering slightly. The wind was stronger up here. She could see the place where the singularity had broken through the roof, now repaired. On one side was the also repaired area where the meta bugs had broken through, though it was too dark right now for her to see it. Looking down, she could see the parking lot where Barry had dissolved into light. This was an odd location for a romantic evening, considering all the bad memories associated with it.

Barry cuddled her from behind, lending his sheltering warmth. "I thought about that, but I had a special reason for bringing you to this one." They settled on the blanket, Barry semi-reclining as Iris cuddled close for extra heat. They were comfortably silent for several minutes.

Barry spoke first. "Do you remember when I closed the singularity?"

Iris couldn't hold in a sarcastic noise. "Yeah, I'm pretty sure I remember that, Bear."

His arms wrapped around her, holding her close. "I was so scared when we figured out what had happened to me. I didn't know if I was ever going to make it home."

Iris was quiet a moment as she remembered that time. It had truly been one of the darkest of her entire life. The memory of the numbness she had felt, the pain that had followed, the hopelessness. She didn't miss her metal piece one bit as she ran her fingers over Barry's hands, lacing their fingers together. "I thought I'd lost you for good."

He gave her a gentle squeeze. "I understand. Remember when you got kidnapped by that crooked real estate scammer? I was so afraid we'd never find you. Everyone was working nonstop to get you back."

Her mouth twitched in a tiny smile. "That was a good story. My article got the front page."

A reluctant laugh rumbled his chest, making her bounce slightly. "You know no story is worth your life, right?"

She laughed too. "I know. But I can't believe I'm getting lectured by the guy who risks his life all the time. Remember the speed force? How many metahumans have you gone up against? Don't forget that usually when I'm in danger it's because I'm working with you."

"I know, I know." He kissed her temple and held her close. "Anyway, I guess what I'm trying to say is that I've been scared of losing you so many times in my life. But I'm not anymore."

Iris could detect the change in his tone and shifted in his arms so they could look at each other. Now that she thought about it, it had been a long time since Barry had given her that look he used to give her when they were first together. So long, in fact, that she couldn't remember the last time she'd seen it. That look that showed his terror that she would decide he wasn't worth staying for, or that something bad would happen. Bad things _had_ happened, but they had made it through and were still making it through. Their lives were dangerous and unpredictable at times, but it didn't stop them from clinging to each other, loving each other, and stealing every moment they could. It filled Iris with warm happiness to see that Barry felt the same way. "You're not?"

He was smiling softly. "No. I don't ever want to lose you, and I will do everything I can to make sure that never happens. But I'm not so scared that I can't tell you how I feel like I used to be. I'm not so afraid that I'll lose you that I can't even try. I'll take everything I can get. Every moment. Every day. Every smile," he had to stop for a breath because the smile she gave him then took it away. "Every kiss..."

He couldn't stop himself from leaning forward to do just that. They smiled into each other's eyes, and it took a moment before his hand rose high enough between them to catch her field of vision. She looked down and couldn't hold in a gasp. The ring box was open, the diamond ring reflecting even in the dim starlight.

"Iris West, will you do me the honor of letting me give all the moments I have left to you?"

She looked from the ring into his face, and he could see her visibly trying to restrain the emotions at work in her. She reached up with both hands and put them on either side of his face smiling through the tears she refused to let fall. "Only if you let me give all mine to you."

His face split into a grin that dominated his face, full of joy. She pulled his face to hers for a kiss, and when they parted he pulled the ring from its case and laid the box aside. He held the golden circle between his thumb and forefinger, and put out his other hand for hers. She placed her small hand in his larger one, and he curled his fingers around hers tenderly to warm them for a moment. Then he gently slid the ring onto her finger. They both smiled at it and reached for each other at the same time. They held hands, secure and warm in the other's grasp. His thumb glided over her new ring, and her fingers slid over the one that contained his suit.

"I love you, Barry."

"I love you too."

She settled back against him, and they gazed up at the stars for a few moments. Finally Iris spoke again.

"So that's why you chose this place? To show you aren't afraid any more?"

"I thought it was fitting. But, I still have some work to do."

"Oh? Like what?"

His arms tightened around her briefly again. "Maybe one day if I'm with you long enough, you can teach me how to be like you."

Her brow furrowed in confusion. "An ace reporter?" Her tone was dry.

He laughed. "Nah. I know when I can't keep up. And I'd rather be like you another way."

She tilted her head to look up at his face. "And what's that?"

He gave her an admiring look. His answer was simple. "Fearless."

She laughed even as she considered it. It was bizarre that Barry Allen, the Flash, would ever look at her and call her fearless. But she knew how he meant it. He didn't mean she was without fear, only that she didn't let it control her life.

She wondered if she should tell him that she had never felt fearless, and that the time he'd been gone had been instrumental in shaping the way she viewed the world now. Or if he knew how much his example had helped her in their lives, watching him grow up without his parents and still manage to maintain kindness and caring for others. She wondered if they had always had a symbiotic relationship, helping and lifting the other without even realizing it, ever changing and evolving to the point that even when the other was absent their influence remained. She wondered if he knew how much he meant to her.

But when she looked into his face again, she could tell that he did know. He knew everything. And he understood completely. And just that small detail, that he knew she felt fear and battled on anyway, that she could struggle and feel guilt and pain and loss and still be able to love him completely, made her strong in his eyes. It made her feel accepted for who she really was.

And that was amazing really, because she looked at him the same way.

She lifted her hand to stroke his cheek, watching the diamond glint on her finger as it moved. She could see years of happiness ahead of them, and the future newspaper article was the farthest thing from her mind. This was what they both chose. Whatever the future held, they'd meet it together.

"Barry. You're already there."

He beamed. "Oh. Well it must be because of how much I love you, then."

She chuckled. "I'll take it." She settled back into his arms, cuddling close and laying her head on his chest with a happy sigh. This moment. Every moment. Love. Destiny. Barry Allen. "I'll take it all."

Barry smiled, his heart in his eyes. "Me too."

They stared at the stars for a while longer.

* * *

_**Epilogue** _

_She flitted, she fluttered, she moved soundlessly. She moved, seamless, in and out of times, worlds, memories. She was every one and none of them at the same time. She rolled with the clouds of speed force and surfed the memories there. Sometimes she accelerated and sometimes she drifted. She was broken down to nothing and by that became everything. She constantly moved with the ebb and flow, suspended in the light._

_She was constant motion, perfect light. She watched and observed. Sometimes the memories were disturbing, chaotic with screams and a man in a yellow suit. A car accident, a dying wife. Watching a speedster sacrifice himself to become the father of this speed force was a memory she never enjoyed. A phrase was always echoing in and out. One repeated phrase. One name. Running in a singularity. A dying mother and a dying Thawne. Traveling faster than a meta bug and dissolving into light. A dying father concerned for his young child, Iris. So much loss._

_Sometimes she wavered, enjoying one particular scene over another. Like the newly engaged couple that lay holding each other on a rooftop, watching the stars. Or a familiar scene on a waterfront, where a boy kissed a girl and then ran faster than time. Strike after strike of lightning, hitting a young man and other young men in different times and places, imbuing them with speed power. A strong cop and her bespectacled husband in a nightclub watching an older man sing. A young speedster tearfully embracing his father, finally released from prison as his young wife hugged her father behind them, overjoyed. A lab late at night, where a newly created A.I. interacted with a hero and his awestruck wife, demonstrating her parameters and functions. A street fight and a hero chasing a villain back through time. An older speedster, running in a silver-winged hat._

_There were many worlds and many times that she drifted through and to, but in every one there was always a Barry and an Iris. And the more she traveled, the more she saw that her original findings had been true. They always found each other. Sooner or later..._

_It was comforting to her as she surfed the difficult times, awash in strife and distress. And many experiences were joyful ones and the knowledge just increased the delight. But the times she lingered at the most involved laughing, squealing twins and super speed fathers, smiling mothers and happy homes..._

_Iris barely looked up, she was so exhausted as Barry came through the door. He halted abruptly and stared in dismay._

_The apartment looked like it had been ravaged by the Trickster. Or one of Oliver's practical jokes. Diapers were everywhere, used and clean. There were five pillows in various positions on the couch, a blanket inexplicably hanging out of the kitchen sink, and several burp rags heaped on the dining room table. A long-forgotten pile of (thankfully clean) baby wipes were dried into stiff paper on one arm of the couch. There was a trail of used clothing, both baby and woman, down the hallway leading in the general direction of the laundry closet. A pacifier was sticking out of Iris' t-shirt pocket and Barry was pretty sure she had no idea it was there. She looked rumpled and messy and there were rings under her eyes. She still looked beautiful to him, though._

" _I'm so glad you're home. Twins are exhausting." As she spoke, Don let out a wail from his nearby bassinet. Iris stood with Dawn in her arms, who was quietly fussing but looked like she was going to switch gears and echo her brother any moment. Iris was bouncing Dawn in her arms in an attempt to soothe the newborn, but the motion was becoming more and more agitated as Don's crying grew louder. Iris was clearly one step away from a nervous breakdown._

_Barry wasted no time. "I've got this."_

_In two minutes flat the apartment was spic and span. Barry's gentle but slightly accelerated rocking of Dawn soothed her for the moment, so he laid her in her own bassinet and quickly settled Don and Iris into a comfortable position in the new rocking chair so Don could nurse. Iris received some water and crackers to tide her over until Barry sped out and back in with her favorite take out._

_After both twins had been fed and settled in for as much as the night as they would sleep before the next feeding, Barry sprawled on the couch and became his wife's cushion, feeding her bites of take out and making sure she chewed before she nodded off again. After an hour of alternate eating and catnapping, Iris rolled over to snuggle up against her husband. He looked down at her with concern._

" _I thought you said you could handle this. Why didn't you call me?"_

_Her voice was tiny. "I didn't want to admit I was wrong. They say sleep when the baby sleeps but no one ever mentioned with twins that once you get one to sleep the other wakes up. And I think they have accelerated metabolisms, Barry, they eat all the time I can't keep up!"_

_Barry nodded. They still weren't quite sure how much of his speedster DNA had been passed down to Don and Dawn, and they were on the alert for any signs. "I think that's normal for any baby, hon."_

_Iris breathed in his scent, cuddling into his shirt. "I can't do this again tomorrow. I haven't slept more than three hours at a time since we got home from the hospital."_

" _You're right. I'm sorry we don't have any parents to help out. What if I called Tess and asked her to visit for a bit? And I can zip home every hour and make sure you're doing okay. No one will notice."_

" _That sounds wonderful..." she sighed into his shirt, already drifting off again._

_Barry smiled and kissed the top of her head, shifting her slightly to dig into his pocket for his phone. It looked like his research on A.I. creation would have to be put on hold for the moment, and that was fine. His new family and his wife's sanity were much more important. He was thumbing through his contacts when he noticed the new one he'd just entered that day._

" _Oh yeah! Do you remember that cop Eddie Thawne that Bear and I saw outside of S.T.A.R. Labs?"_

_Iris gave a weary mumble "Yeah..."_

" _He just transferred in from Keystone, he's part of the CCPD now."_

" _Thash nice..."_

_Barry smiled, doubtful. "I don't know how nice it is, he just got divorced that's why he transferred. But from what I remember about his wife I think he's much better off. Bear said we should be nice to him. Maybe we should introduce him to one of the single ladies on the force? Fiona is nice. What do you think?"_

_Iris lifted her head enough to speak clearly. "That's fine, Barry. In maybe three months or something. I need rest first."_

_He laughed. "That sounds fair. It's times like this that I regret sending Bear home, two of me would be reeeally useful right now." He thumbed to Tess' number, hit send and waited for her to answer. "I love you Iris..."_

_Iris smiled against his shirt. Despite the bone-deep exhaustion sweeping her right now, she wouldn't trade one bit of her life. "I love you too." His arm tightened around her, letting her relax completely against him as she fell asleep._

" _Tess, hi it's Barry Allen..."_

_She slid and glided again, to another moment in time that looked very familiar, only this time Iris was surrounded by ladies and her father at the house, each cooing and helping with the babies. Barry walked in, fresh from S.T.A.R. Labs and ready to see his family. Henry trailed after him, face alight at the sight of his grandkids. Joe laughed and thumped him on the back._

_Iris looked up from her place on the couch, beaming at her husband. Barry smiled back at her and for a moment it was like they were the only two people in the room..._

_Gideon moved on, keeping watch on Barry Allen and Iris West-Allen through all of time and space._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lots of comic references here, along with a few other things. Don and Dawn are the names of Barry and Iris' twins in the comics, (referenced in chapter thirty if you read reeeeally carefully), Jay Garrick, The Flash Rebirth, etc. There is also a tiny nod to Earth 2 from the show. It was fun to combine comics, the show and my own world all together!
> 
> Thanks for reading! :)

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, I will be very clear here that I have not actually read any of the comics, and my knowledge of them is limited to what I glean from tumblr, wiki and a few other places. So the alternate universe is not going to be just like any of the comics, I'm pretty sure. But I did steal The Green Arrow's look for Oliver, and of course Older Barry's suit. (Soon to be Barry's suit in Season 2!) You will notice also, that both men in the alternate universe are a bit more upbeat with less demons. This is intentional, and I am harking back to early comics for that idea. :)


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